Ashley Minor Patron

The smartest bimbo on Film Twitter

"Life’s like a movie, write your own ending"

Favorite films

  • The Truman Show
  • True Stories
  • House
  • Shaft

All
  • Up!

    ★★

  • Cutthroat Island

    ★★½

  • Action U.S.A.

    ★★★½

  • Santo in the Treasure of Dracula

    ★★★½

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Santa Claus Conquers the Martians

1964

Watched

*talking to a girl at a bar* you see it's called Santa Claus Conquers the Martians cause it's a cultural conquest where their customs are taken over by a western idea

Battle for the Planet of the Apes

1973

★½ Watched

“Ape shall never net ape.”

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Up!

1976

★★ Watched

It starts strong with a piranha bath murder and ends with a pile up of insanity but the interior of this thing is just a lot of tits and cocks and I'm not one to say no but know what you're getting into. This is more softcore then movie and Meyer's great use of style is limited here.

I would not have that much sex in a creek I tell you what.

Cutthroat Island

1995

★★½ Watched

This is a very lovely LOOKING movie. The set design, the special effects, and the costumes. All amazing. It's that pesky moment the actors open their mouths that messes it up. Geena Davis is an incredible actress and has been in some great comedies and drama. I sadly think though that she was horrifically miscast in this. Or maybe it's not the role but the dialogue that is a mismatch. So much talking of balls and jokey quips that just…

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I Saw the TV Glow

2024

★★★★★ Liked Watched

A piece of skin rubbed raw. A scab picked at, never fully healing and never fully falling off. Eyes closed but not daring to dream.

I was told this movie would devastate me and I was still unprepared. And I can't say that it will do that with everyone but the specificity of the world, the words said and the looks given killed me. Blank stares into TV screens hoping to god someone sees what you see and also hoping…

Predator

1987

★★★★½ Watched

You got in his prime Arnold, now you add a really killer concept, a director about to make his legacy and Carl Weathers? Baby you got a stew going.