For a long time, I thought there was no way I could possibly write about my favorite film of all time because I felt like there was nothing I could say that would do it justice. Then I realized, you know, that it doesn’t really matter what I say about it because this film speaks for itself. It is a perfect movie in every way and everything about it is well, perfect. The direction, the camerawork, the score, the lighting,…
Listen:
- The unicorn puts a grenade in a nazi’s mouth and his head explodes.
- The unicorn drives while talking to the camera.
- The unicorn has a humanoid unicorn son and he is fucking adorable.
- The unicorn projectile vomits when he finds out he has a son.
- The son wears a lovely Easter plaid shirt with cross-pattern tie in one scene, a quarter-zip argyle sweater in another, and a patterned button-up resort shirt in another. He…
Pinhead is super dramatic, petty, misunderstood, unfairly maligned, attractive and a sharp dresser, self destructive, eloquent, equal parts empath and narcissist, as well as masochistic in some way. He loves spilling tea, has interesting friends, consumes men entirely, presents himself well, and he knows how to make a hell* of an entrance.
Is Pinhead Gay? Is Pinhead me?!
*insert rimshot effect
I dare say that if Catherine Deneuve and David Bowie approached me and invited me to be part of their eternal vampire existence, the answer would be a resounding YES...
...and if they approached me only to seduce me, pleasure me, and kill me for my blood the answer would probably also be a somewhat less resounding but undeniable yes.
