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Despite well-executed action and a fitting sense of finality, the film struggles under heavy exposition and a clunky, aimless plot. The first hour feels like a messy patch job, likely the result of production issues. It picks up later, but while watchable, it never reaches the heights a finale should.

This review may contain spoilers.

This got kind of visuals, and Renaissance didn’t?

But really: this was one of the worst films I’ve ever had to sit through. Multiple scenes where Jenna Ortega explains The Weeknd’s own songs to him - Lord have mercy. Something in my brain just snapped.

By the time he was wandering down a completely empty street in dramatic slow-mo, I found myself irrationally angry that they’d even bothered to close it off for filming - and I wasn’t even affected.

Even if you’re unfamiliar with the history, there’s enough here to draw you in. Just be sure to look up the real story after, because truth really is stranger than fiction.

One story’s happy ending is another story’s tragedy. 

An impressively nasty first feature.

This film serves no purpose whatsoever.

Even if the finale doesn’t quite stick the landing — which, to be fair, none of them ever really have (what can they even do at that point?) — this proves the franchise still has plenty of life left in it. And death.

I genuinely don’t know what I was expecting going in — even the poster practically screamed “don’t bother.” The deaths are unimaginative (a baseline this genre has to hit), and the plot is such an incoherent mess it’s almost irable in how thoroughly it misses every mark.

It could be funnier. It could be a lot smarter. It could look better. But it also could have been significantly worse.

Well, that was camp.

Not exactly a thriller, and it barely makes sense, but somehow that’s part of the charm.

Not so much a return to form as a welcome return to what actually works. By keeping things practical and character-focused, it turns out to be one of the more grounded, effective MCU entries in a while - and a reminder that Marvel can still get it right when it tries.

The fight scenes deliver — of course they do — but everything else is just one tired cliché after another. By the end, it just feels exhausting, and not in the fun way.

After a promising start, it quickly retreats into a generic German chamber comedy, leaving you with the sense you’re just watching a filmed stage play - and not a particularly good one.

It knows its audience - credit where it’s due. But in the end, it’s just another empty adaptation, with pointless plot threads and the dumbest characters the genre’s coughed up in years.

At times, it feels like it could’ve been a 21st-century From Dusk Till Dawn. Almost.

Do all the narrative and thematic threads come together? Not really. It works better in parts than as a whole - messy and flawed, but undeniably ambitious.

A bold and strange vision — equal parts arthouse and grindhouse. It looks stunning, and there’s something genuinely ambitious and brave about it. It shouldn’t work, but somehow it kind of does. Whether the journey is worth it, though, depends entirely on your patience.

This is a movie you can put on in the background and forget about for thirty minutes or more and not miss a beat when you resume paying attention.

Though it’s not the most emotionally affecting episode this season, it’s certainly the most entertaining.

It’s sad to see a film that can’t even stick to the basics of its own internal logic. You can’t help but wonder if there was an earlier cut — weirder, sharper, and far more daring — that got lost along the way.

Even by the relatively low bar set by the previous two films, this one still falls short. And if you find yourself saying “the book was better” — in this case of all things — then it really can’t be a very good film.

Unsurprisingly, it follows in the footsteps of its predecessor: overly long, overly dramatic, and firmly stuck in the middle of the road. One thing Howard has clearly learned is that a film doesn’t need quality to make money.

The whole film, right up to the final scene, just bombards you with exposition. Audrey’s main role seems to be repeating “I don’t understand,” just so everything can be explained again.

I am looking forward to the sequel about a zombie koala bear.

A talented ensemble does its best to make the film at least watchable, maybe even able as time-killing entertainment - but it’s not enough to distract from how hopelessly muddled the whole thing is.

Another episode with its fun and eerie moments that doesn’t totally stick the landing, and that feels more like a remix of previous episodes than something truly new.

Despite being one of the shorter episodes in the season it definitely packs THAT emotional punch.

Is it moving and sentimental, or painfully slow and silly?

It's enjoyable and I liked the idea, I just wish it had ended better because it goes off the rails and the message gets muddled by the end.

It really taps into what Black Mirror did best in its earlier seasons, where technology is abused and makes corporations greedy, affecting vulnerable people in the process.

It understands the retro action-thriller assignment, and that’s what ultimately matters the most.

A lean, original story told in 90 minutes - hard not to be grateful for that. While it’s all in good fun, just sit back and don’t think too hard about how any of it works. This isn’t that kind of movie.

I hoped to be surprised by how good it would be, but instead I was surprised by how generic it turned out. It’s not terrible, but far from a success - and Jon Bernthal’s character adds nothing.

It could have, and very well should have, been worse. It also could have, and perhaps should have, been better too.

I left this film neither knowing nor caring any more about Minecraft than I did going into it.

None of it makes sense, but in the end it had an assignment and understood the assignment. No more, no less.

You could do a lot worse, ittedly, but the downsides here are hard to overlook.

Never comes to life and undoubtedly was better served in its original documentary format.

I wouldn’t say this is a scary movie by any means, but it’s definitely worth a watch.

A truly forgettable action movie that shows little respect for anyone’s intelligence - or their time. Let’s just hope they don’t follow through on their threat to make more. And why was David Harbour even in this?

This is a profoundly bad movie, and I can't believe it turned out worse than the first.

Positive: It is less than 80 minutes long.
Negative: It exists.

Look, it is what it is.

The best that can be said is that some scenes will be a treasure trove for drag queens.

Stillborn.

A virus that knows your bank balance… and gives you bleached veneers before killing you (?!).

I thought I had reached peak ridiculousness after the man-eating laundry press, the possessed vibrator, and the killer sofa, but there’s always something that proves me wrong. That doesn’t make this film any less terrible.

50% bearable
50% unbearable

It has some parts of a movie. There are actors in it. It had lights and sound. A few action scenes might keep you awake, but the nonsensical plot makes it better suited as background noise.

Its lights are on, but no one’s home.

No matter where you are in the story - whether it’s the end of the first act or deep into the second - it always feels like there’s an hour left. The kind of movie that somehow gets longer the more you watch.

Not bad, entertaining enough, but nothing to write home about.

There's no denying it has its moments. There's also no denying it doesn't have enough of them.

Nothing new and nothing exciting, but an easy enough watch.

If you’re looking to waste an evening, go ahead and watch this movie.

This excludes Straight-to-DVD/Streaming, because there is a reason they skip the cinema.

1. The Love Guru
2. The Fog
3. Jeepers Creepers: Reborn
4. Hurry Up Tomorrow
5. We Are Your Friends
6. Slender Man
7. Class Reunion 1.0
8. Mother's Day
9. Times Change You
10. The Unborn

...plus 2 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

Maybe I should skip them next time…

1. Hurry Up Tomorrow
2. In the Lost Lands
3. Snow White
4. Until Dawn
5. Altweibersommer

Is it too early…?!

1. Better Man
2. Heart Eyes
3. Drop

Me? Guilty? Never!

• I Still Know What You Did Last Summer
• Flashback
• The Rage: Carrie 2
• The Skeleton Key
• Tamara
• Gothika
• Sorority Row
• Wishmaster
• Sleepaway Camp
• Cruel Intentions

...plus 23 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

Time‘s up.

1. The Substance
2. All of Us Strangers
3. Better Man
4. The Wild Robot
5. Longlegs
6. I Saw the TV Glow
7. Anora
8. Nosferatu
9. The Devil's Bath
10. Dune: Part Two

The Top 25 films I‘m looking forward to

1. Superman
2. 28 Years Later
3. The Running Man
4. The Monkey
5. I Know What You Did Last Summer
6. Bugonia
7. Wicked: For Good
8. Jurassic World Rebirth
9. Final Destination Bloodlines
10. Thunderbolts*

...plus 10 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

The Top 20 films I‘m looking forward to

1. Nosferatu
2. MaXXXine
3. Alien: Romulus
4. Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga
5. Dune: Part Two
6. Joker: Folie à Deux
7. Twisters
8. From the World of John Wick: Ballerina
9. Wolf Man
10. Gladiator II

...plus 10 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

Putting the „eh“ in „meh“.

1. Madame Web
2. Kraven the Hunter
3. Chantal in Fairyland
4. Trap
5. Afraid
6. The Crow
7. Borderlands
8. Night Swim
9. The Strangers: Chapter 1
10. Joker: Folie à Deux

Countdown to Halloween 2024

1. The Barn
2. The Barn Part II
3. V/H/S/85
4. Salem's Lot
5. It's What's Inside
6. The Platform 2
7. Hold Your Breath
8. Spin the Bottle
9. King on Screen
10. Hide and Seek

...plus 21 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

Exactly: the movies that always make you wonder how stupid and ignorant you can be to film such nonsense. But I kind of miss them.

1. Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones
2. Paranormal Activity 3
3. Paranormal Activity
4. Paranormal Activity 2
5. Paranormal Activity: Next of Kin
6. Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension
7. Paranormal Activity 4
8. Paranormal Activity: Tokyo Night

• The Lodge
• The Blackcoat's Daughter
• It Comes at Night
• The Witch
• Hereditary
• The Hole in the Ground
• Session 9
• Lovely Molly
• Absentia
• Gretel & Hansel

...plus 144 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

And so, another year is in the books, with 2023, the year of Barbenheimer now ending.

1. Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse
2. John Wick: Chapter 4
3. Poor Things
4. Past Lives
5. Saltburn
6. Bottoms
7. Barbie
8. Evil Dead Rise
9. The Iron Claw
10. When Evil Lurks

1. Jeepers Creepers: Reborn
2. The Next 365 Days
3. 365 Days: This Day
4. After Ever Happy
5. The Requin
6. The Munsters
7. Deep Water
8. Crimes of the Future
9. Mindcage
10. Blonde

1. Everything Everywhere All at Once
2. Aftersun
3. RRR
4. Puss in Boots: The Last Wish
5. The Banshees of Inisherin
6. The Northman
7. Scream
8. Good Luck to You, Leo Grande
9. Speak No Evil
10. The Batman

Every new year that comes brings a crop of  movies that blow me away. Then there are the other types.

1. Manta, Manta: Legacy
2. ages
3. Five Nights at Freddy's
4. Fear
5. Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey
6. Strays
7. The Exorcist: Believer
8. Rebel Moon – Part One: A Child of Fire
9. Meg 2: The Trench
10. Hypnotic

Countdown to Halloween 2023

1. Sorority Row
2. Cobweb
3. The Loved Ones
4. The Nun II
5. The Exorcist: Believer
6. An American Werewolf in Paris
7. The Hills Run Red
8. Pet Sematary: Bloodlines
9. Saw X
10. Gonjiam: Haunted Asylum

...plus 21 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

Some would say it was the Fast and Furious of the horror genre at its peak, with each film making more money, getting bigger and crazier, and adding all kinds of actors and casts throughout the whole thing. That comparison is up for debate, as unlike Saw, the Fast & Furious movies have had a positive reception during their run, more or less.

1. Saw III
2. Saw X
3. Saw
4. Saw II
5. Saw VI
6. Saw IV
7. Saw 3D
8. Jigsaw
9. Saw V
10. Spiral: From the Book of Saw

Ranked From Incredible To The One With Busta Rhymes

1. Halloween
2. Halloween
3. Halloween
4. Halloween H20: 20 Years Later
5. Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers
6. Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers
7. Halloween II
8. Halloween II
9. Halloween III: Season of the Witch
10. Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers

...plus 3 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

If you're wise, you'll stay away from this franchise. No good will come from this. While numerous other films bear the "Amityville" name in some form, in the interest of brevity, I chose to focus on the core series of films.

1. The Amityville Horror
2. Amityville 1992: It's About Time
3. Amityville II: The Possession
4. The Amityville Horror
5. Amityville 3-D
6. Amityville: The Awakening
7. Amityville: The Evil Escapes
8. Amityville: A New Generation
9. Amityville: Dollhouse
10. The Amityville Curse

This franchise’s timeline is so shot to hell that it’s practically a scientific experiment. Who knows? Maybe the Illuminati are behind its very existence.

I did learn that money is a powerful, powerful thing and that producers will throw logic and any sense of time away for the sake of keeping a recognizable brand alive.

That’s about it.

1. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
2. The Texas Chain Saw Massacre
3. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning
4. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2
5. The Return of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre
6. Texas Chainsaw Massacre
7. Texas Chainsaw 3D
8. Leatherface
9. Leatherface: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre III

• Fall
• 12 Feet Deep
• Old
• Phone Booth
• Frozen
• ATM
• Gerald's Game
• Open Water
• Open Water 2: Adrift
• 47 Meters Down

...plus 65 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

Asked Twitter “What’s the most visually insane movie you’ve ever seen?” Adding your answers!

Am I missing your favorite hallucinogenic, meditative, harrowing, dreamy, or chaotic visual feast? Send recs by replying or quote tweeting this tweet or by commenting here (with year and/or director please!) and I’ll include them in the list— I have no criteria besides “Is it on Letterboxd?” If I see em, I’ll add em! Who do you think I am? The Grand Arbiter of Insanity???

᪥༄༆⁂❁✰۞𓇽᪥𓃵⁂𖤛༒𖦹᯾𖣔

𝙁𝙞𝙡𝙢𝙨 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙞𝙣 𝙡𝙤𝙤𝙨𝙚 𝙘𝙤𝙡𝙤𝙧 𝙤𝙧𝙙𝙚𝙧 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙛𝙪𝙣, 𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙧𝙖𝙣𝙠, 𝙗𝙪𝙩 𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙛𝙞𝙡𝙢𝙨 𝙄'𝙫𝙚 𝙨𝙚𝙚𝙣 𝙥𝙚𝙤𝙥𝙡𝙚 𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙢𝙤𝙨𝙩:

- Speed Racer (2008)
- House (1977)
- Mandy (2018)
- The Cell (2000)
- The Holy Mountain (1973)
- The Fall (2006)
- 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)
- Beyond the Black Rainbow (2010)
- Enter The Void (2009)
- Climax (2018)
- Fantastic Planet (1973)
- Mishima: A Life In Four Chapters (1985)
- The City of Lost Children (1995)
- The Color of Pomegranates (1969)
- L’Âge d’Or (1930)
- Brazil (1985)
- Zardoz (1974)
- Redline (2009)
- The 5,000 Fingers of Dr. T (1953)
- Stalker (1979)
- Belladonna of Sadness (1973)
- The Wolf House (2018)
- Mad God (2022)
- Labyrinth of Cinema (2019)
- The 20th Century (2019)
- The Cook, the Thief, His Wife & Her Lover (1989)
- Ran (1985)
- Suspiria (1977)
- Tetsuo: The Iron Man (1989)

• Speed Racer
• 2001: A Space Odyssey
• Mishima: A Life in Four Chapters
• House
• Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory
• The Happiness of the Katakuris
• Mind Game
• Forbidden Zone
• Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse
• Daisies

...plus 585 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

Countdown to Halloween 2022

1. Smile
2. Hocus Pocus 2
3. My Best Friend's Exorcism
4. Phenomena
5. Tenebre
6. The Phantom of the Opera
7. Hellraiser
8. The Exorcist III
9. Deadstream
10. The Sentinel

...plus 21 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

Countdown to Halloween 2021

1. Bingo Hell
2. The Ring
3. The Ring Two
4. Scream of the Demon Lover
5. Macabre
6. Terror Train
7. Dead Silence
8. Night of the Demons
9. The Rage: Carrie 2
10. The Funhouse

...plus 21 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

Countdown to Halloween 2020

1. Warlock III: The End of Innocence
2. Halloween III: Season of the Witch
3. The Return of the Living Dead
4. The Devil's Doorway
5. In Search of Darkness
6. Tales from the Darkside: The Movie
7. Hubie Halloween
8. Poltergeist II: The Other Side
9. The Barn
10. Poltergeist

...plus 21 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

• I Stand Alone
• Irreversible
• A Hole in My Heart
• Salò, or the 120 Days of Sodom
• Ken Park
• Santa Sangre
• Ex Drummer
• Zoo
• I Am Curious (Yellow)
• I Am Curious (Blue)

...plus 18 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.