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File that under "wish the Italians made it."

Watching this just reminds me how good a Ferrara movie can be when he’s operating within a genre framework that I actually find enjoyable like horror or even action in the case of Fear City, which so far are the only Ferrara movies that I’ve managed to find varying degrees of success in my quest to stay awake during as opposed to the usual staring blankly into the screen for longer than anyone should be subjected to on the off chance that something eventually happens (nothing ever happens).

Some fun ideas but super lame execution that I’m almost certain would be rectified had Sammo actually directed this instead of only writing it. He’s the best part (or in this case the only good part) as is often times the case with any movie graced by Sammo’s presence so it’s still kind of worth watching, for Sammo. And for the gooey little alien guys straight out of a Lam Nai-Choi movie whom Sammo didn’t even get to fight (kind of a running theme in this movie) which might be the biggest missed opportunity in the history of missed opportunities.

Who would win? Sci-fi horror movie about an alien made in the year of our lord 2017 by a seasoned commercial film director with a budget of $58 million and the latest filmmaking technologies at his disposal starring a full cast of Hollywood A-listers; or, sci-fi horror movie about an alien, literally called Alien, made half a century ago by some guy who’s made one (1) film prior with a budget of $11 million (which even adjusted for inflation is a hell of a lot less than fucking $58 million) starring a bunch of literal-whos (at the time).

Hint: it’s not the one with fucking Ryan Reynolds.

As a native Chinese speaker it’s a special kind of immersion breaking when half of this almost 4-hour-long movie is in extremely broken Mandarin spoken by a full cast of Japanese actors whose attempts at the language I could barely make out the meaning of (I couldn’t) in this otherwise pretty goddamn great movie.

The "First Blood directed by Jeremy Saulnier" that the opening hour led me to believe this was lasted for exactly that - an hour. Then the remaining hour kicked in and took it in a direction that I wasn’t personally super stoked on where Black Reacher here slowly unearths a citywide conspiracy involving a decades-long history of corruption and violence like I was watching fucking backwoods Chinatown. I mean Chinatown is good, but I’m more of a First Blood type of guy.

At this point I’m starting to believe Godzilla really is the King and not just of the monsters but cinema in general. Because what other franchise has been around for as long as it has after making as many installments as it did and still able to gift us genuine fucking masterpieces like Godzilla Minus One? Yeah I’m thinking none. All hail.

Most out of pocket banger from a Godzilla movie since Godzilla vs Biollante.

"So who we gonna hire to direct the latest mainline Godzilla movie that marks the official end of the Heisei-nematic universe until we make another one of these 12 years down the line (which technically is still fucking Heisei) as well as to celebrate the 50th anniversary of the longest running and most culturally significant franchise in the history of our studio and perhaps even the entire country?"

"Let’s just hit up the kid that made Versus lmao"

God bless Toho.

Sure I could harp on about my distaste for the lack of nuance in the storytelling or the lack of subtlety in its emotions but all that gets kind of overshadowed by the sheer scope and the spectacles of the action - the likes of which I hadn’t seen in 3D animation since I dunno fucking Captain Harlock probably - that thankfully this doesn’t lack in the slightest. I for one am extremely glad to be living in a time when movies that make $1.87 billion (and counting) at the box office are being directed by weebs who grew up watching too much One Piece.

Very American (more specifically DreamWorks) style 3D animation meets extremely anime plotting with some Berserk doomed yaoi type character beat. You won’t catch me complaining.

I see we’re at that point in the Godzilla movies cycle again where watching it just makes me wish I was playing Earth Defense Force instead. Which to be fair every Godzilla movie does but this one out of sheer boredom.

I thought the fact that this was once again directed by the guy who previously directed one of the cheapest looking and most mid Godzilla movies in the entire franchise right on the heels of what many (by many I mean I) would consider the best Godzilla movie up until that point would for sure spell disaster for my enjoyment but luckily I couldn’t have been more wrong because this was an absolute blast. It’s oddly comforting going back to the tried-and-true meat-and-potatoes of the classic Godzilla formula after the drastic change of pace that was GMK and seeing my goat MechaG kick some Big G ass always puts a stupid smile on my face I’m ngl. He’s so cool. It’s also one of the fastest paced Godzilla movies that wastes no time getting to the good stuff from the very moment Godzilla shows up (which is less than 5 minutes into the movie as opposed to the usual 30) to when he just kind of gets bored of the whole thing and drifts off into the sea.

Of the 80s/90s action stars Van Damme’s probably had more luck than most playing into his "aging action hero" persona by constantly allowing himself to be genuinely vulnerable (getting his ass beat) on top of giving great physical and most importantly emotional performances in actually good movies like those Universal Soldier ones and now this - something that I desperately wished for Arnold and Jackie but sadly I don’t think either has any more movies left in them; watchable ones anyway.

Not quite peak but about as close to being peak pirate adventure fiction as anything that isn’t called One Piece can be (I have not read One Piece). Gore Verbinski’s directing prowess is matched only by the sheer kino factor of his name, which incidentally sounds like something I’d give to my Mount & Blade 2 character (I have not played Mount & Blade 2).

What I expected: Fukasaku KINO about stuntman and action filmmaking which few, if any, directors in the history of cinema were better equipped to tackle than Fukasaku 

What I got: lame NTR shit, but it’s lame NTR shit directed by Fukasaku so still, pretty decent

Funny how in a movie filled to the absolute brim with industry defining CGI and blockbuster spectacles of epic scope the most memorable moment for me ended up being a claustrophobic scene where a few guys are trapped in a dimly lit room with a singular alien made out of practical effects. The same can be said for War of the Worlds really. This is why Arrival is a better alien invasion movie than both because it’s literally just that for two hours.

Nicholas Hoult in full Yharnam Hunter attire travels to Hemwick Charnel Lane before getting transported to Cainhurst Castle via phantom carriage. Close enough, welcome back Bloodborne (2015 FromSoftware, Inc.)

The first time since the 1954 original that Godzilla has been completely reimagined, in a good way that is. This time as the embodiment of pure evil. Everything from his ghoulish appearance including most notably his milky white deadite eyes and hunched back to the sadistic glee that he takes in the slaughtering of the innocents just completely sets this iteration of big G apart from those that came before him. Accompanied by the second most instantly memorable and iconic Godzilla theme of all time from the composer of…. Shadow of the Colossus??

Man the late 90s/early 2000s was a real rough patch for my goat Godzilla it seems not only was he getting absolutely clowned on by Gamera to an almost comical degree he was even getting mogged by the likes of Ultraman and Kamen Rider which btw were television shows made for literal children that had way higher production value and better tokusatsu action, somehow. I still like these because you can whip up the most putrid bottom of the barrel slop and slap the name Godzilla on it and I’ll slurp it up but goddamn Toho better step up their game for this next one here (judging by its director, they did) or it’s over for these clowns, and my high tolerance for low effort Godzilla movies for that matter.

This is the Godzilla movie that Roland Emmerich should’ve directed because he would’ve actually made the very cool concept of "Godzilla vs flying saucer" work. It almost did.

The fact that Kojima handpicked the director of this movie to be the action director for his Death Stranding 2 makes me more excited for Death Stranding 2 than simply being the sequel to one of my favorite games of all time already does. s the "low budget Asian action movie that Chad Stahelski stole entire scenes from and somehow did it worse" hall of fame which as of now consists only of two (that I know of, being this and The Villainess) but I’m sure there are more on the way.

Peak Imaishi. Peak Gainax. Peak anime.

Last Heisei Godzilla movie and the first actually good one. All it took was for them to make a legacy sequel to the 1954 original that’s also heavily influenced by 80s American action movies such as Aliens and Die Hard. Winning combo if you ask me.

Ending this on a song called Echoes of Love that sounds straight out of the karaoke minigame from Yakuza over slow-mo footage of Godzilla walking into the sunset was certainly a choice. And a good one at that because it reminded me of Tell Me Again from Gamera 3: Revenge of Iris - a much better kaiju movie that I would rather be watching instead.

A chibi Godzilla who’s actually cute and not horror beyond human comprehension? This is Minilla erasure and I won’t stand for it.

Is a barely functioning narrative with comically bad characters worth sitting through for what are hands DOWN the best martial arts action since The Raid 2 (and a lot of them)? I’d say yeah.

All the blood in the world and zero sauce. Proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that The Night Comes for Us was a true lightning in a bottle and any attempt to recapture its magic is destined for failure. Watching this also made me realize how big of a role Iko Uwais played in these movies, not just on screen but more so in the choreography department, because the fight choreography in this is low key bad. I hate what John Wick did to action cinema, every action movie that isn’t made in Hong Kong (not that there’s any action movie made in Hong Kong, anymore) tries to emulate John Wick’s gun fu choreography and worse yet its world building and every time it doesn’t work. It never worked, not even in John Wick.

There’s a reason why when people discuss anime based on existing manga you only ever hear the mangaka’s name being tossed around in the conversation (Oda, Toriyama something something peak fiction; Gege, Isayama something something legendary falloff, etc.) and not that of the anime director whom actually, you know, made it. Because more often than not these directors have very little, if any, creative input on the final product. They act more as a ferryman that paddles the source material from one medium to the other, once they move on to the next project down the anime pipeline the ripples will soon disappear and there won’t be any trace of them ever being there to begin with. Not to discredit the people who worked hard to make the anime a reality of course but they don’t tend to bring enough auteurism to the table to claim authorship over the original mangaka’s work. Very rarely do we have a director like Masaaki Yuasa or Naoko Yamada whose directorial style shines through (or in Yuasa’s case more like overpowers) the initial material in a way that completely transforms it as their own. Even rarer that the director would also be storyboarding and animating the entire project almost all by themselves on top of doing just that, which is exactly what Kiyotaka Oshiyama, did. 

I hold the Look Back manga in very high regard but I think this movie sured, nay, completed it. They’ve put so much visible effort into faithfully recreating each of the manga while also adding in so many new details that only being in motion could convey but still somehow managed to capture the subtle nuances in Fujimoto’s work that made Look Back so special in the first place. Most importantly they’ve poured so much heart into bringing it all to life that you could practically feel the love Oshiyama has for the manga oozing out of its every hand-drawn frame in a way that’s hard not to get swept away by the sheer beauty of it all. Look Back is as much of Oshiyama’s art as it is Fujimoto’s now and I just find that beautiful. Weirdly fitting too because it’s very much the same bond shared between Fujino and Kyomoto. 

Also being a longtime, diehard Fujimoto fan has finally paid off because I spotted every little nod to other Fujimoto manga in this, even Fire Punch. Especially Fire Punch.

(Horror) movies used to look like this.

Peak kusoge.

Love the set pieces to pieces.

While I have seen later filmmakers use these same ingredients to cook better meals down the line there’s no denying that this laid a solid enough groundwork for what’s to follow - being It Follows, and a hell of a lot of Final Destination too. Comes really close to feeling like a Fulci zombie movie at points which I thought was neato.

The thing I find most endearing about these Japanese horror movies starring and primarily geared towards children (and me apparently) is the perfect balance between playfulness and a sense of melancholy that I don’t recall seeing a whole lot of other horror movies manage or even attempt to strike. Kids will love the silly slapstick humor and horror gags that are as creepy as they are charming but the real emotional core will only resonate with the adults accompanying them. As expected from the unexpected writer, Satoko Okudera.

The reason I think why Noroi worked and this didn’t (as much) despite both nailing that "cursed Japanese reality tv" vibe is because Noroi was able to keep its horror quietly simmering in the background until it slowly brings to an eventual boil where even then you only get a tiny glimpse of the true horror that lurks beyond human comprehension, whereas here the ghost (it’s a ghost) starts wrecking shit like Freddy wrecks that fucking pool party in Nightmare on Elm Street Part 2 and by that point every bit of tension that was built up over the course of the runtime just gets thrown out the window. Still, that buildup.

Greatest piece of art ever created in the history of mankind. Wes Anderson was onto something when he said this is the type of stuff from which religions would form and who knows, maybe in a thousand years it will.

Loved that the landscapes these characters trudge through becoming increasingly hostile and surreal as a visual representation of their dwindling numbers and mental state, by the end you’re basically watching a 60s Soviet sci-fi that takes place on an alien planet.

>called Karate for Life 
>is actually pro wrestling kino 

I love when the wrestlers unleash their signature moves the corresponding title cards appear on screen like a non verbal version of characters shouting out the name of their attacks in a fucking shounen anime.

Bro thinks he’s Cure💀💀😭😭

Last hurrah for chivalry.

What The Evil Dead would’ve been if Sam Raimi was in his chuuni phase.

Feels like two different movies Godfrey Ho’ed together: an action one which is incredible as one would expect from this era of Japanese filmmaking and a corporate espionage one which, is surprisingly not dog shit thanks to this era of Japanese filmmaking making it slightly tolerable. Sucks that the bulk of this movie is the latter instead of the former but if anything it just makes me super excited to check out this director’s other works, among which I’m sure lies a masterpiece.

Name ONE thing more cinematic than a samurai duel in a 60s Japanese samurai movie that isn’t another samurai duel in a 60s Japanese samurai movie. You simply cannot.

The director couldn’t decide if he wanted to make an Aliens/Commando style 80s American action movie, a Hong Kong martial arts movie, or a bishojo romance with a cute cat (not like, romance *with* a cute cat, because that would make it a very different kind of bishojo; as in, the movie has a cute cat in it) so he just did all three, at once. Surprisingly it worked.

Honestly couldn’t even if I’ve seen this or not but does it even matter. Does anything?

Nothing like watching an Edward Yang movie where everyone speaks in FromSoftware and literally nothing happens for two hours to remind myself that my attention span has not yet, in fact, been completely shot from the endless doomscrolling and video games after all. FeelsGoodMan

Mid tier Ghibli with an absolute GOD TIER soundtrack made by some dude who seemingly forgot he was the best composer of all time immediately after having made said soundtrack and promptly vanished off the face of the fucking earth. Many such cases (in Japan).

Gonna be a real sad day when Miller has to eventually hand off this franchise to other, younger filmmakers just as Cameron has to one day hand off his to keep the Hollywood machine churning when in reality there’s absolutely no one on earth doing the type of blockbuster filmmaking on the level that these grandpas are doing it and I don’t see anyone appearing out of the blue to fill in the extremely large shoes they’ll leave behind any time soon. Although looking at the box office numbers I don’t think Miller has to worry about that anymore, because there won’t be any more.

Fascinating and mostly impartial look into the life and mind of a true (and truly deranged) patriot who loves his country (or more precisely what his country used to be) more than even life itself, even though the way through which he expresses this love can be a bit…. unorthodox, at times; as in by beating up his fellow countrymen and attempting murder on high ranking officials but to quote the man of the hour himself: "Violence is justified if the end result is good. As long as I live, I’ll continue to use violence by my own judgement if it brings good results to me and for the sake of mankind." 

Based.

CUUUURSE YOU BAAAYLE!!!

these are not just kino these are kinema, ludo even

• Linda Linda Linda
• New Tale of Zatoichi
• Ambulance
• The Northman
• Compartment No. 6
• Love, Chunibyo & Other Delusions! Take On Me
• Bram Stoker's Dracula
• Gonin
• Eureka
• Ghost Dog: The Way of the Samurai

...plus 3 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

pretty kino year all things considered I must say

1. Kamen Rider ZO
2. Kizumonogatari Part 2: Nekketsu
3. The Blue Sky Maiden
4. Pig
5. Macross: Do You Love?
6. Gamera: Guardian of the Universe
7. Gamera 3: Revenge of Iris
8. The Disappearance of Haruhi Suzumiya
9. Carlito's Way
10. K-On! The Movie

...plus 5 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

Very roughly ranked.

Man even the old-movies-watching sucked in the historically sucky year of 2020 because there hasn’t been a movie this year like Hana-bi from last year or Throw Down a year before that where it just knocks my cock off and has me performing a whole 15-min standing ovation in front of my entire auditorium worth of big titted anime figures collection or anything crazy like that happening, so naturally I was disappointed. But not enough to limit myself to only 10 movies apparently because fuck these sure were good.

1. Woman in the Dunes
2. The Face of Another
3. Crimson Tide
4. Dolls
5. Welcome Back, Mr. McDonald
6. Kagemusha
7. Mermaid Legend
8. The Hidden Fortress
9. Letters from Iwo Jima
10. Rumble Fish

...plus 5 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

time to peel back the foreskin and get in the actual meat here

as usual, (very) roughly ranked; and as usual not limiting myself to a set number of movies, as these are simply my favorites out of the 350 that I've seen this year

1. Fireworks
2. Still Walking
3. High and Low
4. Sonatine
5. Runaway Train
6. A Hero Never Dies
7. Gate of Flesh
8. Fat City
9. Tampopo
10. Avengement

...plus 14 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

the good stuff

15 instead of 10 because who cares

also had to go 2 tops per director otherwise half of these would just be Johnnie To movies

1. Throw Down
2. Cobra
3. Sparrow
4. House
5. Legend of the Mountain
6. Female Prisoner Scorpion: Beast Stable
7. The Night Comes for Us
8. Suspiria
9. Old Joy
10. Dangerous Encounters of the First Kind

...plus 5 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

Pleb list, kinda in order. Also not counting Twin Peaks: The Return because reasons, although it would probably be my #1 pick.

1. Master of the Flying Guillotine
2. Two-Lane Blacktop
3. Stroszek
4. Universal Soldier: Day of Reckoning
5. Brawl in Cell Block 99
6. The Seventh Curse
7. Election
8. Buffalo '66
9. Pusher II
10. Shanghai Blues