Off to listen to Cillian Murphy’s BBC Radio6 Recommends: limited edition series vol 1-12 to cheer me up

This sucks so bad, worst I’ve seen this year. 
The writer has only ever seen Gordon Ramsey rage compilation, food porn Pinterest, and Drive - you cannot convince me otherwise. Jon Favreau writing himself to be with Sofia Vergara in Chef is now forgiven, this movie takes heinous writing to new heights.

Count Orlok is going to be responsible for either permanently ruining the moustache community, or working insane wonders for it.

For the life of me I couldn’t put into words the wall of thoughts that sat with me after watching this. 
So, I took everything that I pondered upon, every piece of the dark monolith that consumed me, and I put it into an AI to perfectly summarise my feelings towards the behemoth that is Oppenheimer.
It is as follows:

Oppy is so adorable! I just want to grip his ravenous cheek bones as I watch him casually consume that mandarin segment.