4v291o

This review may contain spoilers.

This movie fucking rocks! Great performances (especially by Miles Caton who you would think is a veteran actor), great music and score, and wonderful action. The sequence that shows the spirits from the past and future might be the best sequence in film in decades. Maybe the movie with the most mentions of cunnilingus.

“You keep dancing with the devil one day he’s gonna follow you home.”

A pretty solid start to one of my favorite series of all time. I think most of its faults can be excused considering its the first part.

“YOU FELL FOR IT FOOL, THUNDER CROSS SPLIT ATTACK!!!”

I love that Roddy Piper puts the glasses on and sees the world for what it is, says “it figures” then immediately starts going on a shooting spree. Also are all the random fights in Family Guy referencing this movie?

Fun comedy with great chemistry between the leads. It is a bit predictable but still fun.

Come for the bike slide, leave with whatever the fuck that was.

What the dog doin’

There is not much I can say that hasn’t been said already. This movie is scary, funny, and horny. Maybe the most unintentionally gay movie of all time. I mean in the famous video store scene there is literally a rainbow in the background. Also this movie has so many great quotes. 

“I’M FEELIN’ A LITTLE WOOZY HERE!”

This review may contain spoilers.

The part when Lau Kin-ming calls Chan Wing-yan on Wong Chi-shing’s phone and does Morse code is pure cinema at its finest.

“It’s just you and me now, sport. And I’m going to find you, God damn it.”

I sure hope they got that bonus situation sorted out

Like the original but without the sauce

I hate myself for the fact that I find Fritz incredibly sexy. I think its mainly his voice. Also this movie would have been a million times better if Fritz was bisexual.

Ever wanted to watch Predator but instead of a Predator it's a bunch of ragin' Cajuns? Oh boy do I have a movie for you. What starts as a routine exercise quickly devolves into a nightmare. It is well directed with a good score and plenty of good performances such as Keith Carradine and Powers Boothe.

Layla needle drop 10/10 best drop in cinema history.

“I’M A GOOFY GOOBER ROCK!!!!”

I mean this in the most sincere way this is the greatest piece of art of all time.

Welcome back Starship Troopers

Here’s how Robert Pattinson can win two oscars. I love his weird Steve Buscemi voice so much.

Can they make little plushies of the cute aliens please and thank you.

Bong Joon-Ho’s Zodiac

In honor of Mickey 17 coming out this week I decided to watch this. I don’t how a movie can be so intense, funny, and somber. Also there is a lot of drop kicking in this.

This review may contain spoilers.

This movie feels like an 80 minute trailer at the game awards to a game you would never play (positive). This movie is very cute. I LOVE FOUND FAMILIES. My favorite character is the gay bird (who I think died?) and the self absorbed lemur. Though the animation can feel jarring at times and the pacing can be a bit wonky I wholeheartedly believe this movie deserved the best animated feature Oscar.

FUCK THOSE DOGS AND THAT MEAN BIRD.

Godzilla gets a kiss from a rose

This movie is Godzilla vs a Mean Green Mother from Outer Space. The Godzilla suit in this one is a massive improvement over the Return of Godzilla suit. I like how much he looks like a kitty cat in this. I really enjoyed the human plot and action in this one. Godzilla vs evolved Biollante is a fun fight I like when Biollante spits Nickelodeon slime at Godzilla. My favorite scene though was when the kids hold up all their drawings of Godzilla while the classic Godzilla theme plays Cinema. Also I did the Leonardo DiCaprio point meme anytime a classic Godzilla song started playing.

Big G is back and he’s badder than ever. Gone are the days of goofy Godzilla. This is essentially a requel to the original Godzilla. I like the Godzilla design a lot in this one (minus the eyes on close shots, they can look too derpy sometimes). The score in this really good. The end credits song is a banger too.

This movie is both a real pain and a real joy to watch. It is equal parts cringey and funny, sad and heartwarming. Kieran Culkin and Jesse Eisenberg both deserve there Oscar nominations and I hope they both win.

“It’s Possible”

The greatest ensemble film of all time. Every actor gives career best performances. The best scene in the movie is when everyone starts to ignore the racist ramblings of Juror #10.

Tag yourself what Juror are you? I’m #4

Good movie with a great ensemble cast. The movie drags in areas and I kinda wish the movie was a bit shorter. Everytime Isabella Rossellini was on screen I locked in. I think it’s kinda funny that a cardinal let alone a conservative one is a vapelord.

Better Call Saul but for Italians. 

I love you Marisa Tomei. You deserved that Oscar.

“ABSOLUTE ASS”

Not only is this movie offensive to trans people and Mexican peoples it is also offensive to musical fans and film fans. Every song sounds the same and it’s basically the character “singing” mumbling incoherently. I think they were trying to go for a Hamilton type soundtrack. The direction is awful as well as the lighting I couldn’t see a damn thing. I HATE HATE HATED this movie! The fact that the academy decided to reward this movie with 13 Oscar nominations baffles me.

WORST FILM OF 2024

Still Wicked (2024). Still unlimited. Still in love with Fiyero.

Charlie Kaufman’s The Substance

I honestly didn’t know this movie was a comedy so that was nice treat. The best joke is definitely the John Wilkes Booth joke. Sebastian Stan is great as usual. I like that his character basically becomes the Joker. Adam Pearson is effortlessly charming and fun. He definitely should have gotten an Oscar nomination. The makeup in this movie is amazing as well and probably would win the Oscar if it wasn’t for The Substance. The score in this movie is really good I might listen to it on its own. Also at one point I thought Sebastian Stan looked like Michael Shannon and the Michael Shannon showed up so I think I summoned him.

“Oh my friend, you haven’t changed a bit.”

“I’m gonna play Canasta with your grandma, then afterwards I’m gonna push her down the stairs, and then after that I’m going to make the whole universe my slave.”


+2 ICANT

The End of an Era (literally).

Godzillas entrance in this one is really badass and probably the most badass of the showa era. I love Titanosaurus a lot but don’t really like how he is treated in this. I felt that he should have had a redemption of sorts and helped Godzilla fight Mechagodzilla. Titanosaurus shaking his ass and lifting Godzilla with his mouth were the highlights of the film to me.

JUSTICE FOR TITANOSAURUS!!!!

Just so you know I would do the same Godzilla

Fuck Mechagodzilla for beating up my sweet baby boy Anguirus. I literally started crying when he did that. Godzilla somehow turns himself into a magnet and becomes Magneto. King Caesar is kind of just there. Godzilla bleeds a lot in this one too. Also the bad guys are apes. 

Is this a prequel to Planet of the Apes?

I love you John Mulaney and your weird little musicals that you do

Two gay dads and their son build a giant robot that fights against a gay bug and his robot goose boyfriend. This is the gayest Godzilla film and deserves a spot in queer canon. The Godzilla suit in this one is adorable and I love him and want to give him a hug. Obviously the highlight of the film is the dropkick. Also Godzilla shaking hands with Jet Jaguar is basically that one Michael Scott meme. Also I watched this on max where they only have the english dub and the kids voice is fucking hilarious you barely can make out a single thing he says.

ALSO MEGALON HITS THE FUCKING GRIDDY!!!!!!!!

The human subplot in this one has a Scooby-Doo vibe to it that I kinda dug. Godzilla and Anguirus talk in this and I found that to be quite humorous albeit a bit weird. The real meat and potatoes of this movie is when Gigan and Ghidorah attack the city. Gigan is probably my second favorite kaiju (after his partner in crime Megalon). Godzilla also bleeds in this one which is pretty cool (he also probably should’ve died). I’m lowkey sick of Ghidorah now.

“Oh! They fly now!” 

“They fly now?”

“They fly now.”

Godzilla flies in this one. He also sustains a lot of damage too. He also fights a sludge monster that feeds on pollution and eats people like The Blob. This movie also has a groovy ass soundtrack. Godzilla also learns a new emote that he does constantly to Hedorah. I’m pretty sure Godzilla also neuters Hedorah.

Gabara is my spirit animal. To quote Marv from Home Alone “I’m gonna kill that kid!”

“Fuck them kids.”

I love you Chibi Godzilla and all your Chibi friends

My main takeaway is too never commit arson in the movie theater no matter how annoying everyone is around you.

Chibi Rodan is so cute!!!

If Ghidroah, the Three Headed Monster is the first Avengers of the Godzilla universe then this is the Infinity War. Godzilla and crew once again beat the ever living fuck out of Ghidorah. I thought it was funny when the aliens were like "Your earth monsters can't beat him, he is from space" as if they hadn't already kicked his ass twice.

Why do the aliens look like giant sperm?

Watching Godzillas dipshit chud son get abused was the best part of the movie. The part when one of the mantises does a crossover with a rock Jamal Crawford style and then chucks it at Minilla got the biggest laugh out of me. I also kinda enjoyed the main theme of the movie too even though it kinda sucks.

The beach episode in the Godzilla franchise. Godzilla does a lot of things in this one like nap and play volleyball with a lobster. SURPRISE BIRD ATTACK!!!! Woah that was weird but anyway Godzilla kills a random bird and then does a badass nose wipe after. Also Mothra is in this one too. Loved the surf rock too.

This movie would have been perfect if Godzilla and Mothra set up a BBQ and grilled that lobster. Then it would've been the ultimate beach movie 

Imagine showing Ishiro Honda this

*Godzilla knitting a trans flag for Little Godzilla*

THAT’S WHY HE'S THE GOAT!!!! THE GOAT!!!

Anyway this short is cute and wholesome. I love my trans ally Godzilla. Plus Godzilla with glasses is cute.

Any criticism of this movie that I have disappears the second I the Godzilla victory dance. 

How dare Fortnite not add that beautiful dance to there game.

The first avengers but with Goji and Co. I enjoyed the rock volleyball fight between Godzilla and Rodan I thought it was really funny. Also Mothra spraying both of them is like when you spray a cat with water for being naughty. King Ghidorah does his thing too.

Bidibidibidi

This review may contain spoilers.

Goji in this movie is really clumsy and falls down a lot and every time he did I laughed. Who’s more clumsy Godzilla or Ghostface? Mothras children then beat him by jizzing on him.

Also Godzilla looks like he tried to eat a bee.

Somehow Godzilla returned.

This movie commits the greatest sin of all (being boring). The only time I ever felt anything is when Godzilla and Anguirus fought each other (which is only like 5 minutes). This movie also has a ton of unnecessary filler. Godzilla and Anguirus innocent!!

“Is your war finally over?”

Every time the Godzilla theme started playing I did the Martin Scorsese cinema hands. The scene when all the tugboats come in is my Avengers Endgame. I love this big lizard.

How could I possibly be scared of Godzilla when he’s such a baby girl.

“Oh no, they say he’s got to go
Go go Godzilla, yeah
Oh no, there goes Tokyo
Go go Godzilla, yeah”

Watched on Sunday July 9, 2023.

1. Sinners
2. Mickey 17
3. One of Them Days

In order of when watched

• Marcel the Shell with Shoes On
• The Substance
• Godzilla Raids Again
• Mothra vs. Godzilla
• Ghidorah, the Three-Headed Monster
• Invasion of Astro-Monster
• Ebirah, Horror of the Deep
• Son of Godzilla
• Destroy All Monsters
• All Monsters Attack

...plus 21 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

Only the live action movies

1. The Empire Strikes Back
2. Star Wars
3. Return of the Jedi
4. Star Wars: The Last Jedi
5. Star Wars: The Force Awakens
6. Solo: A Star Wars Story
7. Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith
8. Rogue One: A Star Wars Story
9. Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace
10. Star Wars: Episode II – Attack of the Clones

...plus 1 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

Not ranked

• 12 Angry Men
• The Abyss
• After Hours
• Alien
• Aliens
• Almost Famous
• Apocalypse Now
• Army of Darkness
• Back to the Future
• Barry Lyndon

...plus 82 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

• Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
• Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me
• Fargo
• Big Trouble in Little China
• Paris, Texas
• To Live and Die in L.A.
• Escape from New York
• Casablanca
• An American Werewolf in London
• Once Upon a Time... in Hollywood

1. Mission: Impossible – Fallout
2. Mission: Impossible – Dead Reckoning
3. Mission: Impossible
4. Mission: Impossible – Rogue Nation
5. Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol
6. Mission: Impossible III
7. Mission: Impossible II

1. Kiki's Delivery Service
2. Who Framed Roger Rabbit
3. Fantastic Mr. Fox
4. Beauty and the Beast
5. The Lion King
6. The Cat Returns
7. The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie
8. The Great Mouse Detective
9. Whisper of the Heart
10. Akira

Movies/shows I own physically

• The Abyss
• After Hours
• Akira
• Alien
• Aliens
• Alien³
• Alien Resurrection
• An American Werewolf in London
• Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery
• Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me

...plus 107 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

1. Almost Famous
2. Oldboy
3. Training Day
4. The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring

   this represents all 3 lord of the rings films

5. Shaolin Soccer
6. Memories of Murder
7. Kill Bill: Vol. 1

   this represents both kill bills

8. No Country for Old Men
9. Road to Perdition
10. The Departed

1. Fargo
2. Heat
3. Dazed and Confused
4. The Silence of the Lambs
5. Darkman
6. GoodFellas
7. Scream
8. Beauty and the Beast
9. The Lion King
10. Being John Malkovich

• Fargo
• Memories of Murder
• Evil Dead II
• After Hours
• The King of Comedy
• Being John Malkovich
• Parasite
• In Bruges
• American Psycho
• Blood Simple

1. Evil Dead II
2. The Thing
3. Alien
4. The Silence of the Lambs
5. The Fly
6. Near Dark
7. The Blob
8. House
9. Scream
10. The Exorcist III

1. The Silence of the Lambs
2. The Departed
3. The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
4. The Godfather Part II
5. The Godfather
6. No Country for Old Men
7. Rocky
8. Parasite
9. Titanic
10. The Shape of Water

I hope I don't forget about this list

1. Godzilla Minus One
2. TÁR
3. Killers of the Flower Moon
4. A Different Man
5. Dune: Part Two
6. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3
7. Dune
8. Mickey 17
9. The Batman
10. Everything Everywhere All at Once

1. A Different Man
2. Dune: Part Two
3. The Substance
4. Challengers
5. A Real Pain
6. Wicked
7. Flow
8. The Wild Robot
9. Twisters
10. Conclave

...plus 7 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

1. Godzilla Minus One
2. Killers of the Flower Moon
3. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3
4. Bottoms
5. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem
6. Oppenheimer
7. Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse
8. The Iron Claw
9. Mission: Impossible – Dead Reckoning
10. Creed III

...plus 15 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

1. After Hours
2. The King of Comedy
3. Raging Bull
4. GoodFellas
5. The Departed
6. Killers of the Flower Moon
7. Taxi Driver
8. The Wolf of Wall Street
9. Hugo
10. The Irishman

...plus 3 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

Live action movies only

1. Godzilla Minus One
2. Godzilla vs. Hedorah
3. Godzilla vs. Megalon
4. Godzilla vs. Biollante
5. Ghidorah, the Three-Headed Monster
6. Godzilla
7. Godzilla vs. Gigan
8. The Return of Godzilla
9. Mothra vs. Godzilla
10. Destroy All Monsters

...plus 11 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

1. Godzilla vs. Biollante
2. The Return of Godzilla

1. Godzilla vs. Hedorah
2. Godzilla vs. Megalon
3. Ghidorah, the Three-Headed Monster
4. Godzilla
5. Godzilla vs. Gigan
6. Mothra vs. Godzilla
7. Destroy All Monsters
8. Terror of Mechagodzilla
9. Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla
10. Invasion of Astro-Monster

...plus 4 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

1. Once Upon a Time in the West
2. For a Few Dollars More
3. The Good, the Bad and the Ugly
4. Yojimbo
5. A Fistful of Dollars
6. Ghidorah, the Three-Headed Monster
7. Le Samouraï
8. Django
9. To Kill a Mockingbird
10. Easy Rider

1. Dragon Ball Super: Broly
2. Dragon Ball Z: Bojack Unbound
3. Dragon Ball Z: Broly - The Legendary Super Saiyan
4. Dragon Ball Z: Fusion Reborn
5. Dragon Ball Z: Wrath of the Dragon
6. Dragon Ball Z: Dead Zone
7. Dragon Ball Z: The Tree of Might
8. Dragon Ball Z: The History of Trunks
9. Dragon Ball Z: Bardock - The Father of Goku
10. Dragon Ball Z: Cooler's Revenge

...plus 8 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

In order of when I watched them

• The Iron Claw
• The Book of Clarence
• Alien Resurrection
• Yojimbo
• Paris, Texas
• Dune: Part Two
• The Abyss
• Leviathan
• Duel
• House

...plus 52 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

1. The Hidden Fortress
2. Seven Samurai
3. Godzilla
4. 12 Angry Men
5. Rear Window
6. High Noon
7. Rashomon
8. Singin' in the Rain
9. Sleeping Beauty
10. Creature from the Black Lagoon

1. Alien
2. Dog Day Afternoon
3. The Rocky Horror Picture Show
4. The Godfather Part II
5. Star Wars
6. The Long Goodbye
7. Barry Lyndon
8. The Muppet Movie
9. House
10. The Exorcist

1. Evil Dead II
2. Aliens
3. The Thing
4. Raiders of the Lost Ark
5. Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
6. Manhunter
7. Kiki's Delivery Service
8. Tampopo
9. After Hours
10. The Terminator

No pixar

1. Beauty and the Beast
2. The Lion King
3. The Great Mouse Detective
4. Robin Hood
5. Mulan
6. Lilo & Stitch
7. Aladdin
8. The Fox and the Hound
9. The Emperor's New Groove
10. Moana

...plus 41 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

1. The Nice Guys
2. Mad Max: Fury Road
3. Django Unchained
4. Blade Runner 2049
5. The Witch
6. The Lighthouse
7. Arrival
8. Get Out
9. Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse
10. Edge of Tomorrow

Hateful 8 is the only one I haven’t seen

1. Django Unchained
2. Jackie Brown
3. Kill Bill: Vol. 1
4. Kill Bill: Vol. 2
5. Inglourious Basterds
6. Reservoir Dogs
7. Pulp Fiction
8. Once Upon a Time... in Hollywood
9. Death Proof

Only movies

1. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3
2. Guardians of the Galaxy
3. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
4. Avengers: Infinity War
5. The Avengers
6. Iron Man 3
7. Avengers: Endgame
8. Thor: Ragnarok
9. Spider-Man: Homecoming
10. Spider-Man: No Way Home

...plus 21 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

1. The Incredibles
2. Monsters, Inc.
3. Toy Story 2
4. Ratatouille
5. Finding Nemo
6. Toy Story
7. Coco
8. Inside Out 2
9. Up
10. Inside Out

...plus 15 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

I haven't seen the holdovers yet

1. Die Hard
2. Gremlins
3. The Muppet Christmas Carol
4. Home Alone 2: Lost in New York
5. Home Alone
6. It's a Wonderful Life
7. Batman Returns
8. Emmet Otter's Jug-Band Christmas
9. National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
10. Scrooged

I have not seen every movie

1. Puss in Boots: The Last Wish
2. Shrek 2
3. Shrek
4. The Wild Robot
5. The Bad Guys
6. Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron
7. The Road to El Dorado
8. The Prince of Egypt
9. Kung Fu Panda 2
10. Penguins of Madagascar

...plus 20 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

Tampopo is a western god damn it

1. Once Upon a Time in the West
2. The Good, the Bad and the Ugly
3. Tampopo
4. For a Few Dollars More
5. Django Unchained
6. No Country for Old Men
7. A Fistful of Dollars
8. The Quick and the Dead
9. Django
10. High Noon

1. Kiki's Delivery Service
2. The Cat Returns
3. Whisper of the Heart
4. Porco Rosso
5. Princess Mononoke
6. My Neighbor Totoro
7. Grave of the Fireflies
8. Spirited Away
9. Howl's Moving Castle
10. Ponyo

Haven’t seen Avatar 2 or Piranha 2

1. Aliens
2. The Terminator
3. The Abyss
4. Titanic
5. Terminator 2: Judgment Day
6. True Lies
7. Avatar

I find Alien and Aliens to be equal to each other in quality but I prefer Aliens more.

1. Aliens

   1a.

2. Alien

   1b.

3. Alien: Romulus
4. Prometheus
5. Alien Resurrection
6. Alien³
7. Alien: Covenant

I haven't seen Crimewave, A Simple Plan, The Gift, For Love of the Game, and Oz yet.

1. Evil Dead II
2. Darkman
3. Army of Darkness
4. The Evil Dead
5. The Quick and the Dead
6. Spider-Man 2
7. Spider-Man
8. Drag Me to Hell
9. Spider-Man 3
10. Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness

I haven’t seen 66

1. The Batman
2. Batman Returns
3. Batman: Mask of the Phantasm
4. The Dark Knight
5. Batman
6. Batman Begins
7. Batman Forever
8. Batman & Robin
9. The Dark Knight Rises
10. The Lego Batman Movie

...plus 1 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

1. Raiders of the Lost Ark
2. Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
3. Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
4. Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny
5. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

1. Spider-Man 2
2. Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse
3. Spider-Man
4. Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse
5. Spider-Man 3
6. Spider-Man: Homecoming
7. Spider-Man: No Way Home
8. Spider-Man: Far From Home
9. The Amazing Spider-Man
10. The Amazing Spider-Man 2