unicorns only like girls and paul rudd

ugly, irritating, long, soulless, obvious, manipulative slop. inauthentic as fuck with its $19379282 marketing campaign and manufactured whimsy with only a paper thin concept of anti-bullying and propaganda to back it up. felt like a punishment to watch.

its literallt wizard of oz fanfic. they have made up words. i fucking hate it. jeff goldblum innocent. i drank 3 beers and i was still bored. also the makeup….okay dollar tree cosmetics aisle!!!

napped for much of this…why try to use the song Supermassive Black Hole in a movie when Twilight already did it perfectly ?

m night just makes anything now i guess. fun!!!

Russ jumpscare

spent most of my day driving through oklahoma and kansas, so this seemed appropriate to watch (although i think im in missouri still rn, crossed the border for stoner purposes). memorable viewing experience, i was scared and gripped. have had a pretty bad week but this was distracting and fun, thank you glen powell 

sidenote, between the “cant take the home out of oklahoma” and the “she stole my heart and my thunder” songs this had some of the worst songs ever created

nic cage looks like the lead singer of the Goo Goo Dolls in this 

in the past years most movies regarded as really good horror have felt like dull, horror inspired movies to me instead. bring back commitment to genre storytelling!!!

i dont like Silence of the Lambs, Se7en, Zodiac, or Hereditary so that is also working against me here in liking this i think!

maxxxine? more like maxxximum amounts of lame!!!!!

so disappointing, especially as a follow up to Pearl 

apes together strong babyyyyy!

make every character a cool girl instead and this wouldve gotten double the stars

you can’t convince me this wasnt a made for tv Lifetime original. points added for Losing my Religion needle drop because lmao. points deducted for heinous Sweet Child O’ Mine cover.

also: did Dave Matthews Band produce this or did i read those credits incorrectly ?!?

a movie about loving your sister and also how awesome dan stevens with a german accent is

kind of a trashy B-movie horror, kind of stupid, kind of political, kind of emotional. overstuffed. i fuck with it 🤷‍♀️