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"You keep dancing with the devil... one day he's gonna follow you home."

I've sat on it for a few days and I've decided Sinners is deliciously macabre perfection. I came out of it surprised and impressed, but been unable to get it out of my head. From Michael B. Jordan's fantastic performance as twins that's so good I almost forgot he is just one man, to a spiritually musical sequence that should be out of place and jarring but ends up being the most entrancing and well-shot sequence of the entire film. The vampire element is done well with the way they handle lore and just the practicality of it all, but it only acts as a catalyst for the ignition of tensions building across every facet of the reaches of the narrative; familial, racial, violent, even sexual. The best genre films are often the ones that use the genre as a means of telling a deeper story, not making the genre itself a story, Sinners does the former exceptionally well. The struggles and trauma of the characters is deeply felt, a lot of it echoing from real life, which only makes it hit harder. The narrative pull of Sinners is so effective that even when the film continues past what I'd assume is its natural end, it continues to be entertaining and its last scene is maybe its most satisfying. Crazy that already this year we've had two perfect vampire stories on the big screen, and both so different. The blood-suckers are eating well.

"Sorry I couldn't keep you safe."

"Don't be sorry, you always did."

" 'Protecting you from boring evening.' "

Thunderbolts* is, for the most part refreshing. Setting the crux of the film in mostly real time really helps it, making the film feel considerably more grounded than many of its counterparts. It does still feel restricted by certain parts of an overarching formula, and even though the 'villain's' wrath is perhaps the most unique the MCU has put out so far, it still retains certain elements of what could be considered cliche. What the plot really should be commended for is working in an antagonist who is consumed by mental trauma, who then goes through an appropriately dark and sensitive arc to restore equilibrium. It's mostly surface level, and there's a lot that Florence Pugh's Yelena has to say between her lines, for example, but this is still coming from the MCU; a superhero enterprise that aims its stories at younger audiences. Thunderbolts* is Marvel's Suicide Squad, it does a few things you wouldn't expect, but what makes it really worth watching is its cast, everyone is fun, even characters who appear briefly, yes, it really *is* Marvel's Suicide Squad. Florence Pugh alone is worth the price of ission, but there aren't any weak links here, it takes at least three characters who were previously annoying or just not entertaining and makes them fun to watch, both on their own and interacting as a team. It's a fun time that works for even the most casual of Marvel fans and I'm pleased with how much it genuinely surprised me.

"CUCUMBER! CUCUMBER! CUCUMBER!"

"They cut the power."

"What do you mean *they* cut the power? How could they cut the power, man? They're animals!"

With a desire to experience something else I've been long familiar-with devoid of colour, I ended up turning to Aliens, the first film in my head after watching today's episode of Doctor Who. It's also apparently Alien day? What a funny coincidence, and the fact that I'm not even posting this today because I'm so bad at Letterboxd now is all a bit timey wimey, isn't it? But does Aliens look good in monochrome? A resounding yes, yes it really does. I watched the special edition, director's cut, the one that James Cameron wants you to watch, because in my opinion it adds exactly what it needs to and just makes for a better viewing experience, and god the first and most prominent thing I noticed was just how tight this movie is. Everything is so claustrophobic, Cameron making you feel so close to the characters it's like you're stuck in the room with them. Even before we get to the planet, Ripley's pod and hospital bed feel so tight and enclosed, there's so many external forces throughout the whole film that seem to serve to restrict characters, and for something that plays with body horror, a complete lack of colour forcing you to focus on light and shadow only heightens that. I imagine I'll work my way round back to Alien, that's sure to work as well as this did, if not better, but in the meantime, I think my next black and white much might be someThing different but quite similar...

"Man, I'm telling you, I got a bad feeling about this drop."

'You always say that, Frost. You always say, 'I got a bad feeling about this drop.' "

"Okay, okay. When we get back without you, I'll call your folks."

"Hey! We were saving that!"

"For today, I guarantee it."

I watched a YouTube video about watching films in black and white and realised I can watch virtually anything I want in monochrome, with a tweak of some visual settings. So what did I try first? Had to be Jurassic Park. I'm not very technical at all, but I'm aware of the difference between a film edited for black and white and just removing the colour from a normal film, and the odd shot here and there doesn't translate so well to the quick hack, but honestly? I was surprised by how much it changed the film. Certain scenes are elevated by black and white, both in strengthening their dark tone (allowing the horror to really stand-out) but also in how much your sharper and focused it forces your perception to be. I could feel myself being pushed to notice things I didn't before, the way light is used in scenes, how the frame is constantly used in forwarding the plot through visual storytelling. I'm someone who finds a fair bit misses my eye, goes over my head (unless I catch it) but this simple change had me looking at my favourite film in a way I never had before, and that was really exciting. Even without taking into any of Steven Spielberg's storytelling expertise, Jurassic Park in black and white is quite a visual treat. In a time where we can slap a filter on anything or tweak it with AI, it feels more important than ever to appreciate real feats of cinema, and art in general.

"I simply don't understand this Luddite attitude, especially from a scientist. I mean, how can we stand in the light of discovery, and not act?"

"What's so great about discovery? It's a violent, penetrative act that scars what it explores. What you call discovery, I call the rape of the natural world."

"Do you want to say sorry to Katie's mum?"

The real message of Adolescence is subtle enough to make the promotional material make it seem like a different show to what it is, it's ultimately better than any trailer can make it look. It cleverly subverts what I think would be the main criticism of the narrative by having two of its central characters exchange a dialogue analysing the perspective of the whole thing, it feels meta in its inclusion but surely the entirety of Adolescence is designed to take you out of the viewing experience and think about the real world ramifications of the material it's basing its narrative around. Name-dropping Andrew Tate is as forward as it gets, and I don't know if he's still pumping out content like raw sewage but if he is hopefully this causes enough noise to slow it down or at the very least make parents more concerned of what content their kids are consuming online. The long takes are impressive, and at their most effective they completely control the age of time by making everything happen exactly as it would if this were all real, and I'm sure the people behind Adolescence want you to imagine this is real, because it *could* be. Everyone in this is really on top of it, seeing a lot of praise thrown at the actors and they deserve all of it, the way Owen Cooper holds a performance for as long as he does and with complete conviction throughout is truly impressive for someone so young. It starts with a bang and ends with a whimper, which feels fitting for a story this tragic.

"Are you sure you're allowed to ask these questions?"

"I never had much parental guidance. That's what my parole officer said at my hearing.

My god I've been waiting to revisit this for so long, as it stands, it's still my favourite film of David Lynch's. The last Nic Cage film I watched I hated, and this one felt like coming home, I'm not sure the variation in his filmography is matched by any other actor. One thing for certain is he brings everything to every role and he's turned up to eleven as Sailor. He and Laura Dern are probably one of my favourite couples in cinema, Lynch had a way of putting characters on-screen that feel so viscerally real, above all else you feel the love, the lust, the need between Sailor and Lula radiate through the screen, and it makes Wild At Heart special and timeless as unironically one of cinema's best love stories.

"Oh, poor baby, she don't know what she missed. What color hair she have?"

"Jet black, but gentlemen prefer blondes."

"Don't ever fall in love, OK? It hurts."

It's really touching but it also shows the ugly sides of love and family in such raw and unapologetic ways with the effect being the messier that it gets the more endeared we are to the relationship of the protagonists. Love Lies Bleeding isn't afraid to really dig into their flaws either, Kristen Stewart's Lou and Katy O'Brian's Jackie are as unlikeable as likeable and ultimately are the two parts of a greater whole, with every great moment for each of them happens when they are together. Stewart and O'Brian pull off everything else in-between, selling it in a way that removes the actor from the character as if they were never really there and we really are just a fly on the wall.

"I don't know what's wrong with me."

"Hey...there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. You are the most amazing, most incredible, beautiful person I've ever met in my whole life."

"I got the twinkie sweats."

The Electric State? More like what kinda state do you need to be in to waste so much money on something so bland and unoriginal? Chris Pratt continues to bastardise his career in front of our eyes.

"Our world is a tire fire floating on an ocean of piss."

"The balance must be respected!"

"So respect it."

I like the absurdity of The Substance, it's goofy and satirical and over-exaggerated and feels like an 80's popcorn horror you'd find on Shudder, and that's the majority of its appeal to me. Also with every successive performance of Margaret Qualley's I see I like her more and more, her unhinged portrayal of Sue is hilarious and her and Demi Moore's back and forth, with and without direct is very entertaining. It goes on longer than I think it should, but by that point I'm already onboard with the concept, and the practical makeup and effects are fucking fantastic.

"You can't escape from yourself."

"When you give me health insurance, workers' comp, and a 401K, then you can tell me when I work."

I built up a false picture of what this was actually going to be based on what I'd already seen/heard, it was almost completely nothing like I was expecting it to be. I was never sceptical of the acclaim Mikey Madison has been engulfed in of late, but to watch her in Anora is just to have hard proof of how deserving she is. She sells a character who I think for a lot of people is hard to swallow. Sex work is still taboo, and Anora herself doesn't jump into frame with an immediate and justified reason for doing it. And of course she doesn't need one, but it's still a challenging narrative nonetheless. I think a rewatch would make this more enjoyable, it did take me a bit too long to really get the tone, but still, a sexy, funny and slightly sad affair.

"You go fuck yourself!"

"Me go fuck myself? Me fuck myself? You go fuck yourself and your fucking mother, motherfucker!"

"Too much truth puts sadness in your heart and madness in your mind."

I like the premise, it's simple and feels like it hits some sci-fi tropes in the right ways. What I didn't expect was that the least engaging parts of the film would be what's in the mysterious gorge. The first scene with something coming out of it is really well done in how it disrupts the tone to create immediate and effective tension, the use of lighting in that scene is also perfectly utilised. But it's Anya Taylor-Joy's Drasa and Miles Teller's Levi who make this watchable and engaging; their relationship, and the struggle that the two of them go through makes any intrigue or mystery surrounding the gorge quite redundant. The supernatural force itself slowly becomes more and more underwhelming, at one point it was giving me Pirates of the Caribbean vibes, which for something like this really isn't effective. It's like they were leaning between two things, and by failing to go with just one or the other, what they were left with ticked neither box. Taylor-Joy and Teller are very likeable, beyond their chemistry, which is always fun and never forced, they both make you attached to the characters. I was worried going into this that it was going to just be romance disguised as sci-fi and I've come out of it glad that it was, because the romance really works.

"I'm expendable."

"Cyborgs don't feel pain. I do. Don't do that again."

The police station scene might be the best ever, bookended perfectly by Arnold Schwarzenegger's iconic 'I'll be back.' And Michael Biehn and Linda Hamilton's manic escape. The narrative progression of characters ridiculing a higher power beyond their current comprehension and then facing that higher power in a gruesome and relentless attack never gets old and is completely refined here. As Steven Spielberg does by showing his antagonist to the audience before his characters, here James Cameron uses our increased knowledge over the characters in order to create tension. 'There's thirty cops in this building' is as reassuring to Hamilton's Sarah Connor as it is frightening to us; knowing that not even a hundred cops would be able to hold back Schwarzenegger's titular Terminator. It's well known that the idea for The Terminator came from a nightmare Cameron had, and you can see how that translates from a raw feeling of fear to how the Terminator is portrayed and filmed, parts of this are just pure horror, and those are my favourite.

"You still don't get it, do you? He'll find her! That's what he does! That's ALL he does! You can't stop him! He'll wade through you, reach down her throat and pull her fuckin' heart out!"

"Go to sleep."

I don't like to spoil things on here, even with a warning tag, so I'm just gonna say this was a fun and tight thriller. Produced by Zach Cregger the man behind Barbarian; Companion does feel like something that could be paired with that breakout horror hit. Although I wouldn't say writer/director Drew Hancock reaches the heights Cregger did with Barbarian, Companion is still very impressive for a debut. The reveals are fun, even the little ones, Jack Quaid is great at those 'oh, shit.' moments, and that gradual escalation of character and Sophie Thatcher is so committed to the character that she sells the hardest scenes perfectly. I don't know if Hancock has a background in comedy at all but I did appreciate the comedy of Companion quite a bit. Almost all of it feels very natural, and when it doesn't it's for the sake of giving the audience context and is never too forceful. Comedy comes about naturally and horror and comedy work together well because both thrive on the abnormal and bizarre in order to be effective and when you do it just right you can get both in equal measure. I'm not even sure I would call Companion a horror, but it has horror elements and a darker tone. Overall it's a good time with a likeable female protagonist who has a very satisfying arc, I definitely wanna see this again.

"You're right. I do know you. I know everything about you. I know you take almond milk in your coffee. I know you like your bedsheets untucked. I know your favorite hobbies are bar trivia, video games, and prattling on endlessly about everything the universe owes you. I know that you always need to be in control. I know that you have a below average sized penis. And I know that you think that having a few million dollars will disguise the fact that you are just a sad, bitter, weak human being."

"Contrary to popular belief, there is such a thing as bad press."

I'm not sure what I was expecting, but it really wasn't this. It feels hard to find an angle on a film that just seems to...exist. Maxxxine seems to be the very minimum that a sequel to X would require in order to be a film with with functioning plot; meaning a cohesive story filled with characters who make sense. But When X and Pearl did so much between the lines, why does Maxxxine feel like someone else was given this IP and just tried to make the studio a quick and easy payday. It's bizarre, I can't wrap my head around the creative choices made here. I will eventually revisit it alongside the others, just to see if something falls into place, but I'm not overly expecting it to. Maybe it also hurts that I'm seeing this so long after watching X or Pearl, I felt like I could only see one purposeful link, but it still seems incidental, and the question has to be asked; should a film need what came before it to be truly effective? I'm looking for hidden answers to so many questions but maybe the only answer I'll get is that Maxxxine, unfortunately, is just not a good sequel.

"Well, we've all got blood on our hands now."

"So, *you* want to kill him. *You* want to kill him. *I* want to kill him. What about you, Mr. Wick?"

"I'm going to kill you."

Chapter Four manages to perfect every facet of what makes up the John Wick franchise as a whole. It starts and end strong, and every beat is satisfying. It's one of the longest films that has managed to hold my attention and keep me gripped continuously throughout. The additions to the cast and the lore are the most effective than any other installment thus far. I going into this worried it was going to end up being the first proper decline of the franchise, I didn't expect it to sur everything else so greatly. The action choreography is something else, some sequences hold you for so long without losing any momentum, I'm in awe not just at how someone comes up with that, but physically enacts it as well, the John Wick team are at the top of their game. I don't know where Chapter Five is going but I will be in the cinema when it releases, that's for sure.

"Saying goodbyes?"

"I'm saying hello."

"You think your wife can hear you?"

"No."

"Well, why bother?"

"Maybe I'm wrong."

"The last thing either one of us needs is Mr. Wick paying us a visit in the night."

Chapter Three: Parabellum never slows down. Even as the action dies, there is a constant race for John to keep breathing, and for almost everyone else to put him in the ground. There's sequences I love, and some I'm not as fond of, this is my least favourite of them all, but I still love it. I'm not sure I've seen a sequel this committed to continuing a story in such a linear way, and maybe even part of why I favour this the least is that John starts and ends Parabellum in almost the same place, but the ride there is still a fun and exciting one. I think this might have committed the same crime No Time to Die did in barely giving us any Ana de Armas...Halle Berry is fantastic and I wish she'd have stayed beyond Casablanca, but oh well, at least they brought back the concept of dogs in the field, that works really well.

"This haven is safe no more."

"Are services still off limit to me?"

"Under the circumstances your privileges are reinstated immediately, what do you need?"

"Guns, lots of guns."

"He is a man of focus, commitment and sheer-fucking-will."

This used to be my favourite of the first three, but I think Chapter Four takes that crown. I think this is cleaner and more focused than what comes before and afterwards, and pushes John to a limit that you don't expect from the character. We have a Mr Wick who's more on his game and we get to see how he operates, it's interesting how this seems to push the underground 'table' world into normal society more than any of the rest, Chapter(s) Three and Four are much more table-centric, especially Four with two sequences in public places that make a lot of noise, but barely affects the action. Also a great choice to have this one start strong right off the back of the last film, and to have a Mission Impossible-esque montage that slows the pace but builds hype in such a satisfying way. This is where the intricacies of this underground world really started to come out and shape the franchise. Of everything John does, the 'stay right there while I reload my gun on you' move cracks me up every time. Awesome.

"You want a war? Or do you wanna just give me a gun?"

"Somebody, please! Get this man a gun."

"...One day he asked to leave. It was over a woman, of course. So I made a deal with him. I gave him an impossible task. A job no one could have pulled off. The bodies he buried that day laid the foundation of what we are now."

That shot of Alfie Allen stumbling through the crowd of the club as he looks back in shock at Keanu Reeves who's walking towards him with this swaying gait that just says, 'I am death' is the first image that comes to mind when I think of John Wick.

"People keep asking me if I'm back, and I haven't really had an answer. But now, yeah, I'm thinkin' I'm back!"

"Can you tell us what we can do to help her?"

"You don't help her, you run. Get out, however you got in!"

Cailee Spaeny and David Jonsson are fantastic, and it's not a high bar to reach to be the third best Alien movie, but this one is. I like this more than Alien³ and I still enjoy revisiting that. Fede Alvarez has gone 3 for 3 for what I've seen of his filmography and I look forward to see him return to tell more of Rain and Andy's story. This is the best the Xenomorph has been since James Cameron introduced us to the Queen.

"All right, new plan. Can you manage yourself with a gun?"

"Yes, I fucking can."

"This is the wasteland. Wherever you thought you were going does not exist."

I loved it on first watch but it's even better second time around. I have to it I spent most of my first and second watches of Furiosa marvelling at how well cast Alyla Browne was as a young Anya, and now I know they used technology to meld their features to varying degrees, and wow, was that effective. I'm sure some people hate it, but I don't see the point of waving a pitchfork at the screen, at the end of the day, it doesn't diminish either performance and makes Furiosa more immersive as a result. And like Fury Road, Furiosa does an incredible job of making a harsh, ugly and horrific world look absolutely gorgeous on-screen. I'm getting too excited over these desert movies, this and Dune Part II had me in a chokehold last year and it's irrational but I want more. I love post-apocalyptic narratives, it's easily one of my favourite sub-genres. Furiosa does some really interesting world-building on top of what Fury Road established. Both films do so well with the emphasis they put on story beats and how real the characters seem in their beliefs and motivations and the society they inhabit and make up, to the point where Furiosa starts and you're like oh my god, that's the Green Place! When we reach what I'm sure is the first sequence that's fully Anya Taylor-Joy, it becomes clear very quickly why she was a perfect choice for Furiosa after Charlize Theron. And I'm not about to topple Fury Road as the massive achievement it is, but I think the action set pieces are just as impressive in Furiosa, and after a second watch, I think I might just enjoy this one more.

"You fabulous thing. You crawled out of a pitiless grave, deeper than hell."

"Don't expect to sleep. That way, if you do, it's a nice surprise."

Really well-shot and appropriately tense all the way through, Civil War is an interesting and unique delve into the coldness of humanity. Kirsten Dunst, Wagner Moura and Cailee Spaeny are all great and it's always a treat to see Jesse Plemons. I can see why people were really excited to see Spaeny in Alien: Romulus after this, and I loved Moura in Narcos so it's fun seeing him take on a wildly different role here. The plot is simplistic and the narrative seems to just fade away with the cinematography that demands your attention; but that seems to be the point. The who, what and why are never really important, this is as black and white as an anti-war film can be, and something that far too many people can relate to right now.

"Once you start asking those questions you can't stop. So we don't ask. We record so other people ask."

"I know you're not afraid of a little dark. Because you *are* the dark."

The only respite this gave me from my anxiety was when I stopped and said, hang on a minute, isn't that Kiernan Shipka? It indeed was Kiernan Shipka, and she delivers a brief but memorable performance. Nicolas Cage is suitably creepy, and almost every one of his scenes is hard to watch, but honestly beyond any of the performances Longlegs seems to be built on very shaky foundations. Maybe I'm an idiot, but too much of the narrative felt like it leaned far too much on 'just because' explanations, or no explanation at all. I can suspend my disbelief with the best of them, but when you present something that's story development feels intrinsic to the character arc of the protagonist, reveals and twists should have more behind them. There's nothing satisfying in Longlegs' third act, and that's down to a narrative that should be airtight, but collapses far too easily under scrutiny. Or maybe I don't get it? Either way, I didn't enjoy this, the most I can say is that it's very well shot to the point that it builds tension by doing very little; it had me on edge until I was scratching my head. ittedly this has me less excited to see The Monkey, the next feature coming out from Osgood Perkins, but Stephen King adaptations are usually a memorable experience, one way or another.

"Just happy as peaches to watch your heavy heart go pop-pop."

"It was like a prehistoric dinosaur turned monster. The local inhabitants called it 'Godzilla'."

I think technically, everything about this is great, but I didn't find it emotionally hard-hitting like I expected to. For a character-central Godzilla film I found that aspect of it largely un-engaging. Godzilla himself is brilliantly realised on-screen, with echoes of Shin Godzilla, that uncanny design is improved upon here. This Godzilla maintains an eerie sense of sentience whilst still feeling very animalistic and primeval. Minus One uses its monster sparingly, and when it does it has the desired impact, that opening scene might be one of the best introductions I've seen to Godzilla. And to compare the titular lizard levelling cities here and in Godzilla X Kong there's such a major difference where one is a genuine display of immeasurable horror and the other is just weightless spectacle. I'm hoping I'll have more fun with this on rewatch, thinking back to it, this is one of the best portrayals of the gargantuan monsters I've seen, and it only adds to it to see the way he interacts with the world be so terrifyingly realistic.

"It's a bit late to play the hero."

"She struggles sometimes."

'Based on an original idea by Daisy Ridley' I'm sorry Miss Ridley, I wasn't familiar with your game. A nice addition to the Good For Her cinematic universe, a good concept with a narrative that builds to a satisfying climax, which, without one would sour Magpie as a film. As soon as you get into it you know you want to see some karma given, some vengeance exacted, but it did keep me guessing as to which way it was going to turn. I kept expecting for things to escalate in certain ways, only to watch it cleverly manoeuvre around my thinking to deliver in a way I never even considered. Ridley's performance is a major anchor for this, and you can't really overshadow her when her role is so pivotal. She brings a level of weight and realness to this that opens her up, and we've not seen her with this edge to her before, it's refreshing and I hope her roles get more and more diverse.

"No harm done."

"No harm done?"

"What is this insufferable darkness?"

Robert Eggers is here at his most dark and twisted since his debut feature film The Witch. The original 1922 Nosferatu is quietly haunting and visually intriguing, Eggers' re-imagining is a raw and grotesque depiction of vampirism that marries religious fervour with supernatural dread. I think it could honestly be said that he has created not one but two quintessential entries into two of the oldest archetypes within the horror genre. How can you understand witches through film without seeing The Witch? How can you understand vampires through film without seeing Nosferatu? You can't. I'm bias; at this point without a doubt, Eggers is my favourite director, but Nosferatu surprised me. The Northman was Eggers on a mainstream budget and despite how much I loved it, it still had this feeling of being somewhat diluted in parts, so I expected something similar here, but this feels like a return to an old style of horror that doesn't really hold back. One thing I loved about this is how every single member of the cast has a chance to prove themselves, and they do; everyone has an introduction and then a peak and it's so great to see everyone reach it and just give everything here. Now I've seen it I'm excited to see it again, and even more excited to see an extended cut, this is a great way to start 2025, as long as you aren't faint of heart, of course.

"Tell me; does evil come from within us, or beyond?"

"This ship hasn't flown in years!"

Watched Starkiller Base blow up at midnight, I literally never get tired of this film, the Millennium Falcon escape from Jakku is one of my favourite sequences from the whole saga. Here's to another year behind us and another year ahead, , the force will be with you, always.

"This is the ship that made the Kessel Run in fourteen parsecs?!"

"Twelve!...'Fourteen'."

"Because of the end of civilization, the Clamp Cable Network now leaves the air. We hope you've enjoyed our programming, but more importantly, we hope you've enjoyed... life."

It's a crazy wacky time and just like Gremlins is perfect viewing for Christmas Eve, The New Batch is perfect for New Year's Eve. The vibes are vibing, it's chaotic, doesn't stick to its own rules and gives us some insane new Gremlins beyond just little green creatures. Gizmo has a vengeance arc, characters maintain crazy levels of delusion, and the overall message of the movie is that nothing is better than popping yourself in front of a screen. If they do make another Gremlins movie I hope to god it's half as insane as this one.

"Just rereleased on video is the movie 'Gremlins', though I really can't imagine why. Now, I know some people found this movie fun, but me, I'd rather spend two hours having root canal work done. What's fun about a movie full of ugly, slimy, mean-spirited, gloppy little monsters who run amok and attack innocent people? Are movie goers so desperate for entertainment that this is the trash that es for fun?"

"We're doing a special; Christmas, everywhere, all at once."

What the hell was this? Easily the worst Christmas special they've put out since the revival started, maybe one of the worst episodes, ever. Why would the Doctor ever care about a hotel that opens time portals to different points throughout human history? It's the sort of thing he'd laugh at, the man has a TARDIS. I when Doctor Who last explored the bootstrap paradox; it was really interesting, and it was woven into the story well. It also had the Doctor rightly cautious about it, in this, he shrugs it off like it's another Wednesday for him. When have paradoxes in Doctor Who ever not been a big deal? Lore and logic aside, this isn't even fun, I like a dumb goofy episode so long as it is actually entertaining but this was such a slog. I'm sure I read beforehand that Steven Moffat was given the free reign to just do whatever he wanted with this, so why didn't he write something more, I dunno, exciting, Christmassy, heartfelt, fun?? The emotion pushed onto Nicola Coughlan's Joy just feels shoe-horned in and it seemed pointless having her in this. This made me reminisce about some of the absolute bangers of Christmas episodes we've had before, honestly if this show gets any worse it'll probably get cancelled for good.

"That's why everyone leaves you. That is why you're always alone."

"Oh! Well I think you've said quite enough, Gromit."

My favourite thing Aardman has done since probably The Curse of the WereRabbit, and the best Wallace and Gromit outing in even longer, this was great. A solid plot and a lot of laughs, they brought back Feathers McGraw in a fun way and I think all of this worked well. Gromit really needs a holiday, poor pooch always ends up on the wrong side on Wallace's mishaps, the ending is as funny and as wholesome as it could manage with something so offbeat. It says a lot when Wallace and Gromit ends up being darker, more exciting and emotionally layered than Doctor Who. Maybe Wallace should build a TARDIS next.

"Good grief, it's you!...Again!"

"Have you been peckish during the night? Only, someone's been at me cheese."

This is my least favourite of the three original shorts, it's still a lot of fun, and gave us Shaun the Sheep, which I watching plenty of as a kid on mornings before school. It's a good plot and the reveals are all done well, but the best is without a doubt the final one. You really can't come between a man and his cheese.

"There. Nothing to fret over. Just a quick shampoo. We've tested this on Gromit. Haven't we, lad?"

"I don't know what's in this cake but I think I just saw Santa Claus...I'm-a get me another slice!"

Max is a very good boy, I'd give him all the sausages he wanted. He could me in my emotional eating, which happens a lot.

"I mean, what does Santa have that I don't?"

*woof*

"That's hurtful."

"Now I have another reason to hate Christmas."

One of the best movies ever made. Gizmo? An icon. The Gremlins? Timeless. At this point I know every beat, every line, I can't think about it without having the music stuck on my head in a loop. It should be studied how endeared I am to this crazy 80's comedy-horror. It's a must-watch on Christmas Eve every year but I could easily watch this at any time, and multiple times a year.

"Y'know they're still shipping them over here. They put 'em in cars, they put 'em in your TV. They put 'em in stereos and those little radios you stick in your ears. They even put 'em in watches, they have teeny gremlins for our watches!"

"Let's face it, Frank. Garden slugs got more out of life than you."

"Yeah? Name one!"

I'm convinced Bill Murray can't make himself unlikeable. Sure, Frank Cross (for the majority of the runtime) is a terrible person, but do I like him? Yes. Why? Because it's Bill Murray and how can I not like Bill Murray? It just doesn't compute. And makes Scrooged funnier when the whole thing seems like Murray is doing his best to be an arsehole for an audience that'll never stop loving him. This review is weirdly obsessed with Murray's likeability but to be honest when I watch Scrooged I always think, yeah it's fun, and some of the gimmicks are really great, but without Murray I wouldn't bother coming back to this every year.

"Hey. Are you glad to see me, or is this a shotgun in your pocket?"

"That's quite enough! You'll be hearing from my solicitor about this!"

This was my favourite of the other classic shorts as a kid, I don't think I'm alone in finding Feathers McGraw fun, he seems to have gained a bit of a cult following in recent times. No one can argue that Aardman stop-motion is top-notch, but this in particular just has so much personality. The fact that gromit, a completely mute character, carries the whole thing is a testament to how fantastic the animation and model design is. The Wrong Tros is hilarious, I'm glad I gave this a revisit before the new one.

"Good grief. It's you. Now, get me out of these tros."

"Scott, what was the last thing you and Charlie did before you went to bed Christmas Eve?"

"We shared a bowl of sugar, did some shots of brown liquor, played with my shotguns, field-dressed a cat, looked for women..."

A hilariously problematic Christmas movie that never fails to entertain me because it has some wild lore but at the same time pretty subtle world building around Christmas and Santa Claus. It also presents a world where Santa is undeniably real but lots of adults choose not to believe, just because. And Tim Allen is a lot of fun, he plays half of this as the irritated forced-to-be Santa and half as the dedicated and loving dad and he's likeable throughout. Also, has any other Christmas movie ever killed off Santa in the first act? Even wilder that no one seems to mourn him or really care at all, I think they're putting something in the hot chocolate down at the north pole.

"Neil doesn't believe in Santa."

"Well, Neil's head comes to a point."

"Brown Santa's gonna save Christmas."

It actually doesn't feel like Christmas until I've seen this, I discovered it by chance with my dad a few years ago and now I've made it into my own tradition. It feels like coming home, it's perfectly sad and embarrassing and tragic as it is wholesome and feel-good. One of the few times I feel (almost) proud to be British is at Christmas because we have so many gems of comedy like this, it really is a genre that we excel in, and what better time for comedy than at Christmas?

"Reminds me of your infamous 'bins collections' letter."

"Hey, that one got the job done."

"It made councillor Hargreaves cry."

"He was already emotional 'cause his wife had just died."

"Ho Ho Ho-ly shit."

I like watching David Harbour fuck around as Santa, beating people up with a sledgehammer, and firing off festive puns. The action sequences are great and as soon as Santa gets stuck in the house there's some good comedy. I would definitely watch another one of these, this is how you give Santa an edge and make it work, and Harbour kills it.

"Listen, you cocksucker. It's Christmas. So why don't you take your best offer, gift wrap it, and ram it up your fucking box."

"Once again, I must ask you to that the Marleys were dead, and decaying in their graves."

"Yuck!"

"That one thing you must , or nothing that follows will seem wondrous."

"Why are you whispering?"

"It's for dramatic emphasis."

The best Christmassy Christmas movie, no competition. I've watched this every year for a few years now and I really look forward to it now, never fails to make me laugh. There's something about taking an iconic and timeless piece of literature and retelling it with a cast of Muppets and Michael Caine that elevates it on every conceivable level. And the meeces got their cheeses.

"You're a little absent-minded, spirit."

"No, I'm a *large* absent-minded spirit!"

"I might change your to; 'has a huge North Pole'."

I'd have loved to have been there when they pitched this to Sean Astin, man's out here living the dream.

"I'm talkin' opposite of small, I'm talkin' big snowballs."

"Let's save Christmas.

"Right."

"Say it."

"I can't."

"Yes you can, say it."

"I don't want to."

"Let's save Christmas."

"I'm not gonna say that."

"I'm gonna need you to say 'let's save Christmas'."

"Alright, god okay. Let's save Christmas."

"That was terrible."

"Ugh, alright, alright. Let's save Christmas."

"There it is."

There's not many movies I've seen that manage to successfully build a mythology around Christmas beyond just; the big guy is magic and delivers presents. And Red One isn't one of them. It feels like it came from a few kids throwing every cool idea they can think of at a whiteboard until it falls into something coherent. Jake Kasdan makes this feel exactly like the Jumanji movies did, but unlike those, Red One has no chemistry between its cast; Dwayne Johnson and Chris Evans seem to be in two different movies. I don't think Johnson wanted to be here at all, I used to think of him as the guy with no range but all the charisma, now we have him in a Christmas movie and he has no charisma whatsoever. When Kristofer Hivju is giving more than Johnson under a shit ton of prosthetics, it makes Johnson look even worse. I would have much preferred if they threw Evans and Hivju together in a plot that echoes Escape from New York, because as derivative as it would be, at least those two would be a lot more fun to watch together. Also hilarious how this straight up takes plot devices from Marvel movies but makes them just a little bit shitter, probably to avoid getting sued by Mr. Mouse. Oh well, at least Kiernan Shipka got an easy paycheck, she's cute.

"I think I just got a little bit nicer."

"Dearest, darlingest Momsie and Popsicle, guess what? I can't hear your guesses, because this is a letter."

Ultimately there's too many aspects of this that I wanted to see but there wasn't enough of, and too many that I didn't want to see but were too much of. Basically Wicked is not for me. There's a dark, twisted magical fantasy movie in there somewhere, and those parts are done really well. Wicked starts strong and ends strong, stalling in its middle getting from A to B, but mostly because the location of Shiz University becomes visually and tonally repetitive. As soon as the characters make their way to the Emerald City the cinematography really starts to feel impressive; every frame engaging. I don't think I need to revisit this but I'd happily watch the next one.

"You have no real power!"

"Exactly. That's why I need you."

"Were you boinking my father?!"

I'm sure this is very much a product of the time leading up to and surrounding its creation, being fuelled from the backlash of another franchise, but Knives Out will likely never become outdated. The character work here is just exquisite. I don't think there's been a more likeable protagonist in cinema since Ana de Armas' Marta Cabrera. A lesser script might have made her character an asshole, or at least morally grey; for the sake of creating tension and force a more radical (and simpler) character arc on her, but what we got was fantastic, both from Rian Johnson and Armas. And to top it all off, Daniel Craig throws himself into some real genre work after I don't know how many years grimacing through the ball and chain around his ankle labelled '007'. I think Knives Out is already a classic. Best enjoyed during autumn underneath a blanket with a steaming mug of tea, coffee, hot chocolate, or maybe something stronger.

"How about some more cookies, Hugh? You want some more cookies? Hey, maybe Harlan left you a cold glass of milk in his will, asshole!"

"I dunno what the hell's in there but it's weird and pissed off, whatever it is."

Is any ever horror going to replicate what The Thing does every single rewatch? I think any other horror I've done multiple watches of dulls at least a little over time. This doesn't. And I must have seen this more times than any other horror I've watched. I love it. I LOVE IT.

"Somebody in this camp ain't what he appears to be. Right now that may be one or two of us. By spring, it could be all of us."

"You could've at least pulled that punch."

"I did."

Getting into movies now that have that perfect vibe for between Halloween and Christmas, and this is always a treat to go back to. It's a fascinating and satisfying watch on every level, so much care put into every detail. This is becoming my favourite iteration of Batman as a character; to me, an emotionally stunted and psychologically scarred Batman is so much more interesting on-screen. Sure, a charismatic Bruce Wayne is always fun, but Robert Pattinson's take of the orphan vigilante feels very grounded in real world cause and effect. He also just has a great presence, like everyone else here. This is such a fantastic cast, every character is spot-on. And as much as I love Michelle Pfeiffer's Catwoman, my god give me another 3 hours of Pattinson and Zoe Kravitz pining over each other, it'll honestly be ridiculous if she never makes a return to this universe.

"Selena, don't throw your life away."

"Don't worry, honey. I got nine of 'em."

"Why go up there when people are dying to get down here?"

Feel like I'm only enjoying this for how close it is to Nightmare Before Christmas, stylistically and narratively. Whatever your opinion of Johnny Depp it's hard to buy into a character of his who's so soft, but ultimately I think Victor is a very weak protagonist. Neither romance really works well beyond being a gag, without the fun of the stop-motion I don't think this would be worth spending any time on. As soon as Victor is unceremoniously dragged down to the underworld the whole gear-shift in tone and aesthetic is everything, the world they built there is obviously finite to what you see on-screen but it's easy to imagine so much more. I honestly wish that had been the whole movie, take me to the underworld and leave me there.

"Where do you keep the spirits?"

"I created what no man's mind nor woman's womb could ever hope to achieve."

First time watching and makes for a great double bill with the first. This is a solid approach to a sequel of a good horror; let's do it again but do more. With the Re-Animator premise you can really just re-do it over and over. It's not as great as the first, but Bride of Re-Animator is still good fun, again Jeffrey Combs and Bruce Abbott really make this. They're great together, a perfect odd-pairing, and really quite funny that they're still together doing this shit after everything that happened before. They try to do some lore stuff here but everything is quite disted which in the end only adds to the chaos of every experiment gone wrong and that is after all, what we wanna see.

"He's a wife-beater, Dan! Use the gun!"

"Who's gonna believe a talking head? Get a job in a sideshow."

It's great, I love it. Perfectly kooky vibes for Halloween. The practical effects range from fantastic to questionable but all of them are entertaining. It's great how unhinged Jeffrey Combs is here, he'll never not be fun to watch as Herbert. As messed up as this it it's all amusing, Re-Animator toes the line for tone perfectly, this is how I love my horror; scary but silly, fucked-up but dumb.

"He's dead?"

"Not anymore."

"This church has maintained power for thousands of years. They will stop at nothing to keep it that way."

I parts of the original, it works fine as a horror, some fun moments, but I think this might be better. The overall aesthetic is really nice, the use of colour in particular draws your eye, but honestly it just does so much visually. Narratively, it's fine, there's enough to keep it engaging, although I wanted to see much more conflict between protagonist(s) and antagonist(s) as up to a certain point it seems like it's going nowhere. There's some genuinely terrifying imagery here, enough to give you nightmares, and the movie doesn't over rely on one way to scare you. Some scares are quick, others linger, some just make you more and more uncomfortable by forcing you to sit with something. I do think maybe a negative of this is that you know where it's going, it's an odd choice for a prequel, but for a horror it's quite effective. Also just funny to me that they managed to cast three British actors with some of the best voices in the industry. Can we get Ralph Ineson, Charles Dance and Bill Nighy doing a podcast? Could listen to that for hours.

"God has great plans for you."

"Maybe if she did blowjobs, she'd still be alive."

"Yeah let's not make that the lesson."

It's cheesy and fun, some moments are played really straight and that definitely took me off guard. This is just another part of an unofficial trilogy; if you want a teen slasher with a wacky supernatural element that bends the 'rules' then look no further than, Happy Death Day, Freaky and Totally Killer.

"Fucking time travel!"

"It's the worst smile I've ever seen in my life."

This is the epitome of 'popcorn horror' everything about this down to its fast-food formula is designed to get the arses of teens and young adults in cinema seats, that for some is thrill after thrill of jaunty jump scares and for others is just a prelude to drunken sex. And that's fine, if you go see it at the cinema, if you're sat at home watching it with your family it doesn't really entertain to its full potential. So maybe I would like this more in the cinema, but still, popcorn horror doesn't usually do anything for me, dark room full of strangers or otherwise, and Smile is watchable. But just that. The more you pull at it, the more it unravels. I've heard the second one is quite good, and I like Naomi Scott, so I'll likely watch it, eventually. It takes me so long to get around to watching movies now, it's like I'm just living in some kind of dream. Oh shit wait a min-

"Why don't we all just take a breath..."

"Why don't you just fucking make yourself at home!"

From best to worst

• Nosferatu
• Sinners
• Thunderbolts*
• Companion

Some films were just made to be watched together.

• Wild at Heart
• Love Lies Bleeding
• Jaws
• Nope

From best to worst

• Dune: Part Two
• Dune
• Love Lies Bleeding
• Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga
• Poor Things
• Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes
• Challengers
• Alien: Romulus
• The Substance
• The Fall Guy

...plus 3 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

The Planet of the Apes movies, ranked

• War for the Planet of the Apes
• Planet of the Apes
• Dawn of the Planet of the Apes
• Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes
• Rise of the Planet of the Apes
• Conquest of the Planet of the Apes
• Escape from the Planet of the Apes
• Beneath the Planet of the Apes
• Battle for the Planet of the Apes

The Alien movies, ranked

• Aliens
• Alien
• Alien: Romulus
• Alien³
• Alien: Covenant
• Prometheus
• Alien Resurrection

• Dune: Part Two
• Dune
• Doctor Sleep
• Mission: Impossible – Rogue Nation
• Mission: Impossible – Fallout
• Mission: Impossible – Dead Reckoning
• Life
• Reminiscence
• The Greatest Showman
• The Girl on the Train

...plus 2 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

• Midsommar
• Oppenheimer
• Little Women
• Don't Worry Darling
• Lady Macbeth
• The Wonder
• Fighting with My Family
• Black Widow
• Dune: Part Two
• A Good Person

...plus 3 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

• Star Wars: The Last Jedi
• Star Wars: The Force Awakens
• Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker
• Sometimes I Think About Dying
• The Bubble
• Ophelia
• Murder on the Orient Express
• Chaos Walking

• Birds of Prey (and the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn)
• Babylon
• Barbie
• The Suicide Squad
• The Wolf of Wall Street
• Suicide Squad
• Focus
• About Time
• Once Upon a Time... in Hollywood
• Amsterdam

...plus 5 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

• Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3
• Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle
• Gunpowder Milkshake
• Jumanji: The Next Level
• Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
• Avengers: Endgame
• Guardians of the Galaxy
• The Bubble
• Dual
• Avengers: Infinity War

...plus 5 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

• Last Night in Soho
• Emma.
• The Northman
• The Menu
• The Queen's Gambit
• The Witch
• Thoroughbreds
• The New Mutants
• Split
• Amsterdam

...plus 2 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

Great Scott!
The DVD collection of Michael Scott from The Office
~Check notes for where I found each reference~
This is not an exhaustive list, but I had a lot of fun making it :)

• Chris Rock: Bring the Pain

  Diversity Day (S1E2)- Michael gets in trouble by doing a Chris Rock impression that's just a little too good

• The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring

  Basketball (S1E5)- Michael knows that his staff would follow him 'to the ends of the earth' like 'the dwarf from Lord of the Rings' who Dwight names as Gimli. What a nerd.

• Jerry Maguire

  The Dundies (S2E1)- In a past Dundies Award Ceremony, Michael awards Oscar the 'show me the monaaaayyy' award.

  Leisure Circuit (S5E16)- Dealing with customers who say; "show us the monaaaayyy"? Michael can help.

• Home Alone

  Office Olympics (S2E3)- After making Ryan come into work early he tells him to make himself at home in the office, a la Home Alone or Risky Business

• Risky Business

  Office Olympics (S2E3)- After making Ryan come into work early he tells him to make himself at home in the office, a la Home Alone or Risky Business

• The Karate Kid

  The Fire (S2E4)- Michael is 'like Mr Miyagi and Yoda rolled into one'

• The Empire Strikes Back

  The Fire (S2E4)- "Much advice you seek" is Michael's impression that Ryan mistakes for Fozzy Bear.

  Goodbye Toby (S4E14)- Holly can sit on the floor because she does yoga, Michael does 'Yo-da' (impressions). "Sit on floor and put together chair we will" Michael is taken aback that Holly knows him, too.

  Garage Sale (S7E19)- Michael proposes to Holly with his best Yoda impression, is there really any other way?

• Taxi Driver

  The Fight (S2E6)- After beating Dwight in a bizarre physical contest, Michael is all psyched up in his office; "You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me?".

  Christening (S7E7)- In the middle of a Marlon Brando impression Michael mistakenly says; "You talkin' to me?".

• Raging Bull

  The Fight (S2E6)- After his Taxi Driver impression he says "Raging Bull, Pacino" so he likely has seen both films, but confuses them with each other, and another, unnamed third film, as Al Pacino is in neither Taxi Driver nor this.

• The Next Karate Kid

  The Fight (S2E6)- According to Michael, Dwight is the "Karate Kid, the Hilary Swank version".

...plus 92 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

From best to worst

• Jurassic Park
• Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3
• Babylon
• Barbie
• Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse
• John Wick: Chapter 4
• Mission: Impossible – Dead Reckoning
• Bottoms
• Puss in Boots: The Last Wish
• Pearl

...plus 16 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

• The Thing
• The Northman
• The Batman
• X
• Bodies Bodies Bodies
• Barbarian
• Glass Onion
• Nope
• Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness
• The Menu

...plus 16 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

• Dune
• The Suicide Squad
• A Quiet Place Part II
• No Time to Die
• Last Night in Soho
• Spencer
• The French Dispatch
• Spider-Man: No Way Home
• Mothering Sunday
• Black Widow

...plus 1 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.