John Carpenter's Declassified Capitalism Survival Guide:
1) Identify the capitalist bourgeoisie around you: You will see them in managerial positions and wearing a fancy gold Rolex.
2) Identify the laboring proletariat: The bigger their muscles, the better. If they can rock a purple tank top, you've hit the jackpot.
3) Hold educational meetings to counteract capitalist brainwashing: It helps if you have cool sunglasses to give away as swag.
4) Arm yourselves.
5) Chew bubblegum.
6) Kick ass.

[NOTE: THIS IS SATIRE. DO NOT CALL THE FBI ON ME]

The thing about Dr. Strangelove is that it’s not the world’s greatest work of political satire because of how it ruthlessly depicts mankind’s irresistible urge to destroy the urge rather than it we maybe went too far, but also because it’s really goofy and silly. It ends with a cowboy riding a nuke like a bucking bronco for Christ’s sake!

There are about 4 jokes in here, total. They’re funny jokes, to be clear. Just not nearly enough to justify its own importance.

Best laugh of the year is when the disgraced gas exec killed himself in a car crash. Runner up is when a pig bites Billy's balls.

Honorable mention for the influencer who says she "felt bad" for getting a villa while everyone else fought over FEMA tents.

By the definition of my own rating system I have no choice but to award Megalopolis 5 stars because I will fight anyone who says this isn’t, at the very least, always interesting to behold and frequently awe inspiring.

It is not a “flawless masterpiece” like how others might use the 5 star rating, but that’s precisely why I’ve never subscribed to that rubric. Rather it is a film that makes unique choices at every level, and even if they’re not the choices I would make, I’ll fight to the death for Coppola’s (and any filmmaker’s) right to make them.