At first I was honestly upset and even afraid to see Nick Offerman without his mustache—it's always a scary sight. But then I realized that there simply wasn't room for two of the greatest mustaches in present-day hollywood in this film. Tom Cruise's ego wouldn't be able to handle going up against two immaculate mustaches at once. So, Nick Offerman nobly sacrificed his mustache for Tramell Tillman's, and I will forever be grateful for that. We need Tramell Tillman in…

He found a little girl that he could overpower and drug and mold into the perfect, submissive woman. A woman who learned never to share her real opinion, lest she face the wrath of the man who "owns" her. A woman who never got to find herself because she missed out on an adolescence that she should've spent figuring out her own interests. He held her captive in a home that he barely even lived in, forcing her to live…