What do you mean, "Ridley's just recycling the first Gladiator?!" Did the first Gladiator have wild rabid monkeys with cartoonish beaks and monkey of the senate? Did the original have gladiators gladiate atop angry rhinos or turn the Colosseum into a massive salt water pool huge enough to fit two battleships and a bunch of sharks? Did it have Paul Mescal's kind eyes and wounded dog demeanor? Did it have the Denzel at his hammiest delivering monologues whilst carrying a severed head?

Are you not entertained? Is this not why you are here?!

ARE👏YOU👏NOT👏ENTERTAINED👏?!?

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