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Watched on Wednesday May 21, 2025.

Watched on Wednesday May 21, 2025.

Heart Eyes is a combination of the rom com and slasher film but it never takes advantage of that. It commits to the cliches of both genres but it doesn't make fun of them in any clever way. The humor is very in your face obnoxious and it just made me annoyed throughout. The constant use of buzzwords like "being doxed" or "being canceled" drove me up a wall. I almost turned this one off. I guess the only nice thing I could say is that the film looks really good. However, John Waters once said to me "if the first nice thing you can say about a film is that the cinematography is good, the film probably sucks."

A really good film noir that is so close to greatness. The ending overplays it's hand and practically explains the message of the film to the audience. I honestly wish it had a darker ending in which the protagonist loses his humanity just for the sake of his company. Regardless, the direction, the writing (except for the last 5 minutes), and acting are top notch in portraying how cut throat and soulless the Japanese business world is.

Black Tight Killers, Tokyo Drifter, Danger Diabolik, and Killers on Parade might be my aesthetic. I just love how colorful and psychedelic these films are. I love the music, beautiful compositions, the set designs, and the outlandish nature of it all. This shit is my jam.

Two warring yakuza factions get in a gunfights with each other. His fiancee is killed in the crossfire. In order to get his vengeance, he must become the Punisher...I mean he will become The Hitman: Blood Smells Like Roses. This film is basically a Japanese version of the Punisher only without the comic book aesthetic. The cops barely investigate into our protagonist because they would rather have the yakuza dead just like how the cops barely do anything to stop the Punisher. The film is rather entertaining throughout despite it being standard action movie flare. The most entertaining aspect is the character Rumi. She is a prostitute who constantly wants to sleep with our protagonist despite him always denying her advances. I just found that to be funny everytime it happened. I would recommend this film if you want to kill some time watching yakuza being blown away.

Female Prisoner Scorpion: Death Threat is a very good legacy sequel to some of the greatest exploitation films ever made. While it doesn't have the arthouse/hallunatory imagery the original films had, it does have some great grimy/sleazy imagery that only V-Cinema could provide. There are some good homage to the original films without it ever feeling like nostalgia bait. Plus it works as a stand alone film. My main problem with the film is that the themes of patriarchy that the originals explored are not fully explored here. It tends to feel more like your usual women in prison exploitation film. Regardless, I still recommend this sequel that does deliver some sleazy goodness.

Burning Dog is a decent heist film that starts off rather strong but loses its momentum when the heist is finished. This film is about a group of men robbing a US army base on Okinawa. Director Yoichi Sai gets great use of the Okinawa setting with some great backdrops. I do love the integration of US soldiers in common day life in Okinawa. It makes the film feel more alive and gives character to the setting. The planning and the actual heist is rather interesting. Its a shame the backstabbing becomes so convoluted that I was plain out lost on who was involved with the heist itself. It turns out the person behind killing almost everyone off was not even directly involved with the heist and only had one scene before the final reveal. I would still recommend this film despite the last third not being that good.

Danger Point: The Road to Hell is an okay neo noir about two hitmen who are on the search for $20 million. My main problem with the film is that it was shot with little to no style. Which is a shame since this is from director Yasuharu Hasebe. He directed some genre gems like Massacre Gun, Retaliation, and the Stray Cat Rock series. The chemistry between our two leads, Sho Aikawa and Jo Shishido, is what makes this film work. If it wasn't for them, I would've fell asleep during this film. The plot is rather cookie cutter for a noir. If you have seen a bunch of film noirs like I have, you will see the plot twists coming from miles away. Danger Point is my least favorite movie of the V-Cinema boxset that Arrow Video released.

Every once in awhile, I just want to see some sleazy trash. I need bad taste cinema in order to feel alive sometimes. Thankfully, XX: Beautiful Hunter has everything to make for a sleazy classic. It has everything from bloody gunfights, kinky S&M torture, indoor and outdoor sex scenes, a Christian death cult, and a dude giving head to a hitwoman while she is pointing a gun at his head. Surprisingly, there is an interesting plot here about a hitwoman who is stripped of her femininity suddenly having a sexual awakening in the field. I might have to check out more films by director Masaru Konuma to see if more of his films are like this.

Carlos is a very good gangster film about a Brazilian Japanese yakuza who unintentionally causes a gang war when he murders two fellow yakuza . What I really like about this film is its commentary about a topic that is rarely discussed in Japanese media; racism. The film shows how an outsider is appreciated but never truly accepted into Japanese society. Our protagonist, Carlos (Takenaka Naoto), is referred to as jungle boy in his face and behind his back several times. The yakuza need him to kill people but they are insulted always for being lazy or unwieldy.

The violence is rather shocking in this film. This is before directors like Takashi Miike or Beat Kitano became popular with their extreme violence in their films. The violence is shown matter of factly and the camera lingers on the corpses; which makes it seem so cold and shocking. Its rather graphic with the brain matter and the squibs are packed with so much gore.

Honestly, you can describe the whole film as cold and unfeeling since it mainly consists of long shots and long takes. There is rarely any close ups unless it's important to show the emotions of the characters. This reinforces the theme of yakuza being almost emotionless and being vessels of violence.

My only complaint with the film is that the low budget can really show sometimes. There is one scene in which there is supposed to be a slow and steady zoom out, but the Cinematographer accidentally keeps stopping the zoom. It just stops and goes constantly. The film probably didn't have enough budget or was under time constraints; which prevented any possible retakes of the scene.

I highly recommend watching Carlos if you are interested in a racially aware yakuza film. I got to watch this little seen gem on the V Cinema boxset that Arrow Video recently released.

Stranger is a low-key version of the film Duel. Its more of a vibe movie than an intense thriller. The film is mostly long shots of our hero driving her taxi during the middle of the night. Either you are going to like this film or gonna hate it because of that.

This is a surprisingly sweet romance between a wannabe yakuza and a narcoleptic car thief. Neo Chinpira: Zoom Goes the Bullet features a very charming, star turning performance by Sho Aikawa. I love that he is such a goofy guy that glorifies the yakuza without realizing the grim, violent world he is introducing himself to. The film makes fun of the tough guy image of the yakuza like showing two yakuza backing out of murdering someone by either doing drugs or shooting himself in the stomach. I forgot to mention the woman he falls in love with gets turned on by firing a gun. It's genuinely kinda funny.

I recommend watching this film if you want to see some goofy yakuza antics and a sweet romance.

Crime Hunter is the first V-Cinema movie to be released by Toei and it gets straight to the point. A whole bunch of action, the only dialogue that exists is just for brief exposition, and the only character development is done through brief scenes of expressionism. Crime Hunter is pure action cinema when you think about it. I'm surprised by how much action is packed into such a short running time. The gunfights are pretty good with plenty of bloody squibs and the locations are cool like a nightclub, warehouse, the docks, and an apartment complex. The cinematography is on point with its neon lighting. There is no irony in this cheesy action film and I'm happy for that. It mirrors the action films that John Woo, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and Sylvester Stallone were making at the time. If you got exactly an hour to kill, I recommend giving Crime Hunter a shot.

Shinobi Band of Assassins is the film that made ninjas legendary. It was the first film to show ninjas using shurikens and the string to poison sleeping targets (the scene using that assassination technique was copied later in You Only Live Twice). The plot of this film is about a ninja named Ishikawa Goemon (Raizo Ichikawa) who becomes embroiled in a plot to assassinate Oda Nobunaga.

The black and white cinematography is simply stunning. There is a fight scene that is entirely filmed by moonlight and is gorgeous to watch. Unfortunately, the martial arts is rather slow and dull in this (even for 1962 standards). The silver lining is that the violence is brutal for the time. There is delimbings, a brutal torture scene involving an ear being sliced off, blood spraying onto a dude's face, and etc.

What is actually captivating is the psy-op games that Goemon's master plays on all his students. I don't want to spoil any of it. The only one I will tell you about is the one in which he disguises himself as two different leaders of two different ninja clans. He pits these clans against each other to see who can kill Oda Nobunaga first.

I recommend Shinobi Band of Assassins if you want to see an early, cool ninja flick in which ninjas actually are deceitful and have no honor.

Bloodstained Clan of Honor is a socially conscious yakuza film about a yakuza clan that is hired to evict a slum by any means necessary. The film is appropriately very downbeat and depressing. The character work done with Bunta Sugawara's character is rather masterful. His character is conflicted about the whole thing since he grew up in the slum that they are hired to evict. However, the character work done with everyone else is rather undercooked. I wish more time was given to the residents of the slum in order to feel even more depressed about their homes being destroyed. However, the badass ending of Bunta Sugawara and his best friend fighting dozens of rival yakuza makes up for it.

TW: SA/Rape

Play It Cool is a pinku drama that has a surprisingly feminist view of sexual expression and transaction. Yumi (Mari Atsumi) is a 19 year old hairdressing student who lives with her mother, who is a bar hostess, and her mother's lazy boyfriend. The boyfriend does rape Yumi while Yumi's mother is working. Yumi's mother finds out about this and murders him. Yumi ends up working at the same bar as a hostess in order to her mother while she is in prison. She is cold to actual relationships and uses her body in order to make extra money from clients. Yumi does end up falling in love with the bar manager who used to be a lawyer. Will their relationship actually work out or will he be like other men who just want Yumi for her body?

What I ired about this film is that Yumi is fully control of her body in almost the entire film and she doesn't mind sleeping with others for money. She chooses who gets to sleep with her by playing poker with them and deciding how much they have to pay for her that way. Yumi is never ashamed about it nor does the film ever judge her for it. Her main drive is to her mother and she will do it by any means possible. The only thing that judges her is the patriarchal society that she lives in. Yumi wanting control of her body is what explains the rather sudden ending (you will have to find out what I mean by watching Play It Cool).

This is my first Yasuzo Masumura film and it makes me want to see his earlier films since they are supposed to be even more understanding of women despite how the Japanese film industry tends to treat women poorly. His treatment of his characters is full of empathy despite how Japan's patriarchal society would normally view them.

I would recommend Play It Cool to people who want to watch a rather well written character drama that has a side of eroticism to it.

Violent Panic: The Big Crash is a lot more insane than I it being. It is pure film anarchy. You got bank robbers, horny cops, a dude who lives with mannequins who is obsessed with the main female lead, a car mechanic that murders a gay rapist, and a car chase sequence that not only involves the cops, but an entire angry mob of other drivers. Somehow Kinji Fukasaku is able to make a coherent narrative out of all these things and more. You need to see this film to believe it.

Fall Guy is a pitch black comedy about the lives of bit players in the Japanese film industry. Kinji Fukasaku dismantles the film industry power structure by making fun of how studio execs would rather pamper prima donna actors than to treat anyone else fairly. Majority of the men and women of the film industry are just objects that can be abused and replaced to them. You get to see how the abuse of bit players take a mental toll. Our main character is comically goofy guy at work but then will go home to abuse his wife. This film does really get dark, which causes a very jarring mood changes. It will be a goofy rom-com at one point and then will be a dark melodrama in the next scene. That is probably the big flaw in this film is just how jarring the mood changes can be.

Man With the Funky Hat: The 20,000,000 Yen Arm is a quirky murder mystery that is quick and to the point. Sonny Chiba returns to the role and is as charming as ever. It solves a few problems I had with the original like the bad fight choreography and the comedy not working. This time the fights are a lot better and the comedy usually lands rather well. However, the kinetic energy of Kinji Fukasaku's directing is just not to be found here. It feels like he is on autopilot this time around. Then again, this sequel came out the same year as the original; so that is to be expected when it was made far more quickly. Man With the Funky Hat 2 is a fun sequel that I would recommend to both Sonny Chiba and Kinji Fukasaku completionists like myself.

Wolves, Pigs and Men is a surprisingly violent, cruel, and mean film noir by Kinji Fukasaku. This is probably his first masterpiece and it might be one of my new favorite films. This film is about three brothers. One is living in the slums taking care of their ill mother, the 2nd one is freshly out of jail, and the 3rd one is a manager of a yakuza runned club. Jiro (Ken Takakura) recruits his brother Sabu (Kinya Kitaoji) and a few friends to rob 20 million yen and 20 million yen worth of drugs from the yakuza gang that their older brother works for. When the job is a success, someone betrays the group and a lot of torture starts to happen.

This film is an anxiety filled masterpiece that has a sense of hopelessness I have not seen before in a film noir. Ken Takakura is honestly terrifying in his role as a ruthless thug who will even brutally torture his younger brother over money and drugs. Kinji Fukasaku shots the film with such chaotic energy (which is typical of his films) that his dutch angles almost become fully vertical. I do love the message about the film about how hopeless it is living in the margins in a capitalist society. The only way to get out is to lie, cheat, and steal.

Please see this film as soon as you can. It is a film noir so dark that you might fall into despair just watching it.

Hokuriku Proxy War is the final yakuza film by Kinji Fukasaku. I don't blame the man for stopping making yakuza films since he made over a dozen of them throughout the 60s and 70s. I would get tired of the genre too. Hokuriku Proxy War is a very good yakuza film that would almost fit into Fukasaku's Battles Without Honor and Humanity series (if you haven't seen them, you should watch them this instant). Proxy War is about Kawada Noboru(Hiroki Matsukata), a yakuza who has ambitious dreams of national dominance. He single handedly starts a bloody turf war with local yakuza clans through multiple alliances and betrayals.

What makes Hokuriku Proxy War stand out from the rest of Fukasaku's yakuza films is the setting and Hiroki Matsukata's manic performance. I love how the winter setting sets the tone for the entire film. The harrowing snow storms show how cold and chaotic the film is going to be with its matter of fact, bloody violence. Hiroki Matsukata's performance is of a man that is about to explode with violence at any minute. He cannot even sit still, he is rocking back and forth just to control himself.

My main complaint besides some nitpicky stuff like Sonny Chiba not being able to do martial arts that he is known for is that Hokuriku Proxy War's story is generic. If it wasn't for Kinji Fukasaku's masterful directing, the setting, and the performances; I wouldn't have liked this film that much. It has the bad ass, unkillable yakuza who terrorizes the other cowardly yakuza bosses. I have seen plenty of these films before. It's one of the few times where a film is very good despite the script being half baked.

I still highly recommend Hokuriku Proxy War for people who are fans of Kinji Fukasaku and the yakuza genre. It is a bloody treat.

Man With the Funky Hat is a super early film by Kinji Fukasaku and starring a very young Sonny Chiba. It's a fun private detective film that is fast paced and has a groovy jazz soundtrack. The film is about Ichiro (Sonny Chiba), a car salesman and the son of a private detective who unintentionally gets involved with a kidnapping case after trying to sell a car to a beautiful woman.

Sonny Chiba brings so much manic energy and whimsy to his character that it is hard not to be charmed by him. Kinji Fukasaku is able to get so many creative shots and edits that it's hard to believe this is coming from a director with one year of experience (Man With the Funky Hat and 4 other films were directed by him during his first year of directing). The energy of this film is so fast that the 53 minutes of runtime go by in a breeze.

My main complaints is that there are far too many coincidences like how the main characters end up at the stock exchange where the villains so happen to be there at the same time. You can tell the fight choreography is really rushed with the amount of punches that don't connect. Also, the comedy just didn't work for me.

Overall, Man With the Funky Hat is short but sweet. You can tell this is from an inexperienced director who will become great later on in his career. It's nice to see that some master directors had to start somewhere to gain experience. They just don't magically start making masterpieces overnight.

Jakoman and Tetsu is a great dramatic about camaraderie amongst fishermen during 1946. This was a time in which everyone was looking for a job no matter how dangerous it was because people were starving after the war. Hiring managers didn't look into backgrounds of people because of how desperate they were to hire. This actually caused a lot of ex-cons to be hired. The reason why I'm giving a brief history lesson is because it helps to understand this film a little more knowing some of the historical context for the events in Jakoman and Tetsu. Also, the film is written by Akira Kurosawa and directed by one of my favorite directors, Kinji Fukasaku (I wrote my 100 page thesis on his Battles Without Honor and Humanity series).

The film is about a sailor named Tetsu who arrives back to his dad's fishery a year after the war ended. He wants to work with the migrant fishermen instead of doing nothing like his brother-in-law and his father. Jakoman is a poacher who wants revenge on Tetsu's father because Tetsu's father stole his unlicensed fishing boat. This leads to some violent classes between Jakoman and Tetsu but they eventually get along due to their camaraderie.

What I love about this film is just the pure humanity that is given to the fishermen. You see them suffer through storms, freezing water, and going on strike to get fair pay. It was also cool to watch Ken Takakura play against type by being a naive and happy-go-lucky character instead of being a quiet and stoic yakuza character. The writing and directing keeps the film enthralling despite the subject matter being something that wouldn't be interesting to most people. My only complaint is that the lighting during the outdoor night scenes can be far too dark. It was difficult to see anything.

I highly recommend checking this film out when you get the chance. I might rewatch it to see if I like it more the second time around.

Gareth Evans made two of the most influential action movies in recent memory with The Raid and The Raid 2. Ever since then he has been trying different stuff like a horror film and a TV show. Now he has made a decent heroic bloodshed film called Havoc. Havoc feels like a homage to heroic bloodshed films of the mid 80s and early 90s, while still being modern. However, Evans doesn't try to do anything new here. It has almost every dirty cop movie cliche I can think of like our main character having a dark secret or the corrupt mayor who has our protagonist under his thumb. There are plot holes a plenty like how did the violent kidnapping of the mayor not make the news; let alone not alert the cops. The almost completely CGI car chases have no weight to them. Havoc is kinda a mess.

What saves Havoc from being a waste of time is the graphically violent action set pieces in the second half. Almost everyone has infinite ammo and every gunshot sounds like an explosion. There are so many squibs and some CG blood (it's barely noticeable due to the dark lighting) that I'm shocked the entire screen isn't covered in blood. The gunfight at the end of the film wouldn't feel out of place in a classic John Woo film. Also, it is amusing to watch Tom Hardy slide kick and throw Chinese gangsters around.

Havoc makes for an entertaining film to watch in a lazy afternoon, but it is disappointing considering Gareth Evans made it. I honestly expected another action masterpiece from him. Hopefully, he makes another action film to prove that he still got it. I really hope time did not him by since some of his impersonators have been more innovative recently (examples, the John Wick franchise and The Night Comes for Us).

Watched on Monday April 28, 2025.

Watched on Monday April 28, 2025.

Watched on Sunday April 27, 2025.

Watched on Sunday April 27, 2025.

Watched on Sunday April 27, 2025.

Watched on Sunday April 27, 2025.

Wow...simply wow. This has to be one of the best blockbusters I have seen since Mad Max Fury Road. Almost everything is pitch perfect from the acting, the cinematography, the action, and most importantly the music. Music plays such an important role in Sinners. It represents how we carry on our ancestors' memories and culture, but also presents our souls to others to hear.

One of the most important and blatant messages in Sinners is about cultural appropriation and conformity. The vampires in this represent cultural appropriation because they want to steal people's stories, songs, and talent (one of their powers in this is that they absorb memories of people they bite). They also represent conformity due to their herd mentality that they all have.

The cinematography is, to put it midly, jaw droppingly beautiful. Sinners was shot on 65mm film and it is a stunning sight to behold. You need to see this on the biggest screen possible. Everyone gives excellent performances from Michael B. Jordan in twin roles to new comer Miles Caton to Jack O'Donnell in a delightful villain role. I can't believe I forgot to mention my favorite character Delta Slim, played by Delroy Lindo. Delroy deserves awards for this role as an alcoholic blues player.

Sinners is a From Dusk to Dawn for a new generation. You need to drop what you are doing and watch Sinners as soon as possible.

One of Them Days is such a refreshing movie in a sea of sequels, remakes, and reboots. Who would've thought that an old school buddy comedy is what I needed to keep me interested in some big studio fare. As we all know, a buddy comedy is as good as it's chemistry with its two leads. Thankfully, Keke Palmer and SZA have got that down in spades. They are so funny and charming together that I honestly hope that they star in more films together. I do love how chaotic the film is with it involving shaddy blood banks, biscuit thieves, gang shootouts, and a big booty ho that steals everyone's man. The film is one of those comedies that gets funnier as it goes along. It starts off not that funny but it becomes laugh out funny by the halfway point. Plus it has a great, simple message of finding your self worth and believing in yourself. I guess I kinda needed to be reminded of that after going through some rough patches of depression.
Anyways, I highly recommend checking this flick out. I might just rewatch it soon just for the hell of it.

Tarot is another generic horror film that will inspire people to think "wow that was certainly a movie". I do not know what to say about this pile of junk because of how generic it is. All the characters are obnoxious stereotypes, none of the kills are inspired, and the creature designs are just flat out boring. The only thing that is scary is that anyone is still into horoscopes. Honestly, the best thing you can do is just to skip this movie. There is no redeeming qualities here.

Kraven the Hunter is a rather dull exercise in graphic violence in mayhem. The CGI is laughably bad, the action scenes are poorly staged, and is filled with performances that range from over the top to disinterested. The only thing that I will , along with anyone that has seen this movie, is Rhino's infamous "scream" (go look it up, it's hilarious). It's a shame this is the last of Sony's attempts at an extended Spider-Man universe because they have been laughably and entertainingly bad.

Let me start off by saying they somehow screw up the character of Kraven. They make a piece of shit poacher into a "badass" vigilante. He doesn't hunt a single animal in this movie. Hell he doesn't acquire his iconic jacket until the last minute of the movie.

Russell Crowe and Alessandro Nivola are the only ones to get the right tone of the movie. They camp it up with their over the top performances while everyone else is disinterested. You will miss them whenever they are not only screen.

Honestly, I don't have much to say about Kraven the Hunter since it is such a dull mess. I am already forgetting what I have seen. I guess I will just recommend watching Madame Web since was at least that film is hilariously bad.

Madame Web might be one of my new favorite bad movies. Almost every line read is unintentionally hilarious, every action sequence is lame as hell, the ADR is laughable, and Dakota Johnson gives the best sarcastic performance I have ever seen. You can tell there was no love put into this film and that it was only made for cynical reasons (aka Sony failing at starting a cinematic universe again).

Where do I even begin with Madame Web? Should I start with the backstory that is actually shown twice in this movie? Do I talk about how they screw up showing the early 2000s? Maybe I will start there because I had fun with pointing that out to my girlfriend. The film shows a dude playing a PSP which came out in 2005 in the United States. Later in the film, three of our heroes are dancing to the song "Toxic" by Britney Spears which came out in 2003. The only reason why I say they screwed up is that the radio announcer says it's a brand new song by Britney and something along the lines of Britney is gonna be a new sensation.

The ADR is goddamn hilarious in particular when the villain does it. It sounds like they got another actor to dub in the lines and the dude will not shut up about how these teenage girls will get powers in the future. You can tell Dakota Johnson does not want to be in this movie and she says every line with sarcasm. I don't blame her to be honest. I wouldn't want to be in a film in which she has to babysit three teenagers who are played by actresses clearly in their 20s. The action scenes are so brief and yet so lame. I couldn't stop laughing when Dakota Johnson hits the main villain with an ambulance. It has to be seen to understand why it's so funny. The villain literally jumps in front of it.

I highly recommend watching Madame Web with a group of drunk friends. It is a laugh riot.

Alex Garland has been a rather controversial figure in the film community recently. He keeps saying he is trying to make apolitical war films like Civil War and his most recent film, Warfare. I cannot decide if he is just doing that for marketing purposes just to not upset a certain group of people or if he is full of himself. Considering Warfare is his most politically charged film, I'm hoping to believe the former. Warfare is an intense anti-war film that shows how pointless and monstrous the war in Iraq was. The final shots in the film really drive this message home by showing the family observing the carnage that has besieged their home. No answers are given to why any of this has happened since there is really none other than cynical truths about our American leaders at the time. Honestly, Alex Garland's "objectivity through subjectivity" approach makes for such a more interesting war film because it makes the burden of interpreting the events heavier on the viewer. That is why Civil War and Warfare have been so divisive because you have to interpret the film single handedly. There is no hand holding on what the politics are in these films. You can easily interpret this as a pro-war film or an anti-war film.

The entire 90 minute running time is intense and anxiety inducing. The quiet moments are the worse in my opinion because you know something horrible is going to happen any minute. You just don't know when it's going to happen. Warfare is already an early contender for best sound design and editing. You really feel like you are in the middle of combat from just the bombastic sound design. There is no soundtrack to be heard during any of the mission these US soldiers are on. You just get to hear the ear piercing gunfire and screams of agony throughout. It is an experience of Hell in my opinion.

One of my favorite aspects of the film is that you never really see the enemy throughout the film. You only see them in extreme long shots. It makes the film all the more terrifying since the enemy is barely out of sight and their presence is always felt. Also, the US soldiers aren't shown as saints either. They are constantly rude and non-caring to the family of the house they commandeered. They put the two translators at risk and in front of the line until those two are brutally killed by an IED. Their deaths aren't even acknowledged after it happens. These soldiers are just shown to be men who were mislead by evil propaganda to fight in a pointless war that ended with countless innocent lives lost.

No matter what I say about this film will no affect how divisive Warfare will be. Some will say it is pro-war and others will say it's anti-war. I will proudly be in the camp of the latter.

Under Paris is certainly a movie all right. It's a shark movie that lacks thrills and chills, but it might cure your case of insomnia. I was not expecting a shark movie with this big of a budget to actually make me fall asleep during the first half. The first half of this film is so poorly paced that you wouldn't blame me for falling asleep. The characters are either one dimensional or ripped out right from Jaws (for example, the mayor who ignores the warnings about the shark because the city needs money). Under Paris has one of the most baffling environmental messages I have seen in a film. It tries to say that oceans need saving, but it makes the environmentalists as annoying one-dimensional villains who only get in the way. I guess the film is trying to say that it's too late to save the ocean? I don't know what message director Xavier Gens is trying to convey.

The only saving grace of Under Paris is its chaotic, over the top climax that involves the sharks going on a feeding frenzy during a triathlon. You get to see sharks flip boats over, copious amounts of gunfire, tons of buckets of blood, and so many explosions that cause Paris to flood. It's practically the only thing to keep me awake during the film. You could say this entire sequence is the only reason why this film was made. Xavier Gens just had to pad out the running time to get to that point.

Under Paris might have been a fun bad movie if there were something interesting or entertaining during that first half. Maybe the sequel that got announced might solve that problem. Otherwise, I only recommend watching the last 30 minutes of Under Paris just to check out the carnage.

Watched on Monday April 7, 2025.

Watched on Monday April 7, 2025.

Watched on Monday April 7, 2025.

Watched on Wednesday April 2, 2025.

Watched on Wednesday April 2, 2025.

Final Destination 5 is probably my third favorite Final Destination flick. It has some gnarly 3D effects, some nice additions to the "rules", and the acting has massively improved after the 4th film. This will be a short review since I'm a bit tired from writing multiple reviews in a row.

The CGI has improved immensely since the previous installment. It doesn't feel like I'm watching a Sci-fi channel movie anymore. The kills can be truly nasty like one guy has his skin melted off from tar, another guy has his skull crushed in by a Buddha statue, and the laser eye surgery scene is traumatizing. I actually now have a fear of laser eye surgery due to that scene.

The addition of "if you kill someone, you gain additional years of life" is a great new rule to the series. It actually adds to the stakes and moral ambiguity. The main cast is actually kind of likable unlike the previous film. I actually wanted to see some of them live this time around.

Overall, Final Destination 5 is a fun thrill ride that has one hell of a clever twist ending.

Final Destination 4 kinda sucks. The effects are so cheap that it feels like I'm watching a Sci-fi channel original movie. The characters are so unlikable and underwritten that you are begging for Death to do his job quicker. The kills are uncreative. If I'm not developing a new fear after watching a Final Destination movie, then you have failed at making a good Final Destination film.

The initial disaster has some of the worst effects I have seen in a theatrically released movie. Dear lord does it look cheap. Somehow the CGI in the first Final Destination movie looks like Avatar level CGI in comparison and that movie was released in 2000.

The characters are so unlikable and underwritten that some of them don't even have names. The first person to be killed after the disaster is simply named Racist. That is literally what he is credited as in the credits. The characters in the main group of victims are so unlikable that I don't understand how they were friends in the first place. Hell, when the douchebag blonde is killed by a pool's drainage pipe; no one cares or mentions it afterwards.

The kills are the most disappointing part. All the kills are done with piss poor CGI that I could've done better in Blender (I don't even know how to use Blender btw). One of the kills is recycled from the first film. A person is suddenly hit by an ambulance exactly like how one person is killed by a bus in the first Final Destination.

Honestly, you can probably skip this one. Almost every horror series (except Evil Dead) has a terrible sequel and Final Destination is no exception. At least this one is short with a running time of 82 minutes.

Final Destination 3 might be my personal favorite of the FD series. It has the best kills, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, the sense of humor the film has, and it has my personal favorite ending of the series. However, the characters are mostly stuck up assholes this time around. This honestly dampens the experience as little bit; but it makes the cruelty of the kills satisfying in a twisted way. One last thing before I go into detail about why I love FD3. The opening disaster isn't as strong as FD2 (then again, it's impossible to top a giant log crushing a police cruiser); but it is a close second as the best opening. It did make me afraid of roller coasters for a little while when I watched this film as a kid.

The kills are so gruesome in this film and the other FD films never topped it. The practical effects of the kills add so much more weight to it unlike the CGI overload in FD4. The fan of a car engine slashing a man's skull into shreds is imprinted into my mind. The macabre sense of humor adds some lightness to the kills. For example, the cross dissolve from watching two teens burn to death in a suna bed to their caskets at their funeral is genuinely hilarious. Plus, the Home Depot being filled with countless amount of OSHA violations made me topple over in laughter until a woman is killed with a nail gun.

Mary Elizabeth Winstead is my favorite protagonist of the series. You instantly sympathize with her when she is suffering from grief and survivor's guilt. It's fun watching her decipher the photographs she took for clues about their incoming deaths. It does help that she is the only likable character in a cast of unlikable pricks.

I do love the ending quite a bit. It's honestly clever to have our survivors end up in another disaster instead of one of them being killed in another accident as the stinger.

The list you see before you has been curated by the world's most intelligent and powerful man in the world. Everything you see is the best of the best in cinema and has been scientifically proven to be the greatest films ever made. It's essential to watch these films if you want to explore the world of cinema. Enjoy.

• It's a Wonderful Life
• Blue Velvet
• Singin' in the Rain
• Heat
• Body Double
• Demons
• Why Has Bodhi-Dharma Left for the East?
• Harakiri
• Come and See
• 12 Angry Men

...plus 1348 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

This is a scientifically researched list of movies that feel like it was specifically tailored for Redditors.

• Ready Player One
• Free Guy
• Don't Look Up
• Avengers: Endgame
• Spider-Man: No Way Home
• Thor: Love and Thunder
• Ghostbusters: Afterlife
• Joker

This list is mainly just for me to keep track of what I own. I don't want to unintentionally buy another copy of the same movie.

• Grand Illusion
• Seven Samurai
• The Lady Vanishes
• Amarcord
• The 400 Blows
• Beauty and the Beast
• A Night to
• The Killer
• Hard Boiled
• Walkabout

...plus 399 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

• Godzilla Minus One
• Killers of the Flower Moon
• The Holdovers
• Shin Kamen Rider
• Oppenheimer
• BlackBerry
• Beau Is Afraid
• Past Lives
• The Boy and the Heron
• The Killer

...plus 20 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

Here is my personal rankings of Howard Hawks' films that I have seen so far

1. Bringing Up Baby
2. Rio Bravo
3. His Girl Friday
4. Red River
5. Only Angels Have Wings
6. Gentlemen Prefer Blondes
7. Scarface
8. Ball of Fire
9. Man's Favorite Sport?
10. I Was a Male War Bride

...plus 4 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.