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Favorite films

  • Repo Man
  • Ghostbusters
  • The Secret of NIMH
  • Heathers

All
  • Guinea Pig: Mermaid in the Manhole

    ★★★

  • Vamp

    ★★

  • Twice Dead

    ★★

  • Maclunkey Treasure Island

    ★★★

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Friday the 13th Part 2

1981

★★★★ Liked Rewatched

• Genuinely love that half the cast survives because they decide to go party in town rather than stay in the cabin

• Jason manages to track Alice to her home months later AND get her phone number and call her up. Pretty good for a wild man of the woods

• His backstory makes absolutely no sense, but still works in the context of the film. That's some kind of magic trick

• As much as I like Sackhead Jason, I'd love to see an alternate universe version where Alice's canoe attack wasn't a dream, and Part 2's killer was a rail-thin, seaweed-smeared, undead kid-monster

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Guinea Pig: Mermaid in the Manhole

1988

★★★ Watched

• Mondo Digital calls this the "cinematic equivalent of a kid gleefully showing off his chewed-up food," and I can't top that description so I'll just quote it instead

• The videography looks shockingly good, generating an eerie mood that lingers even though it devotes most of its runtime to showering you with goop

• In the same way that Stephen King distinguishes between horror and terror, this is gross but not queasy. The buckets of goo are just too…

Vamp

1986

★★ Watched

• In a better timeline, this is an '80s classic about Dedee Pfeiffer discovering all her new co-workers are vampires, with not a single tiresome frat pledge in sight

• This looks great, drenching everything in striking synthwave lighting, outfitting everyone in new wave fashions, and busting out several cool makeup effects gags. Shame it's all wasted on a dead script and discount bin soundtrack

• The early going takes Fright Night's combo of vampire flick and teen comedy and…

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Something Wild

1986

★★ Watched

• This sports a great premise for a mean dark comedy: Two assholes bond over their love of ripping off people in service jobs, then go on "wild" adventures like, uh, visiting Mom and attending a high school reunion. Problem is, this isn't a mean dark comedy; it's a rock 'n' roll rom com that wants you to LIKE and ROOT FOR these awful, awful assholes

• It comes stuffed to the brim with cult hero cameos, but forgets to…

Christmas with The Martins and The Sinatras

1967

★★★★ Liked Watched

• How is Dean Martin's drunken dancing not a meme yet

• Damn right Nancy Sinatra does a Santafied riff on "These Boots Were Made for Walkin'"

• Frank Sinatra was married to Mia Farrow at the time, so either she had other commitments or was just like "nope"

• Best bit is Sinatra, after he and Dean are handed letters to Santa, looking just off camera and saying something like, "We're readin' 'em, is that what we're doin'?"

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