What are we, some kinda T̶h̶u̶n̶d̶e̶r̶b̶o̶l̶t̶s̶* New Avengers?

It is bizarre but kind of fitting that the best MCU movie post 2020 is the first since to not be directly tied to any kind of multiverse saga or galactic threat, and comprised largely of forgettable characters from some of the studio’s worst-received properties. A two hour therapy jam about how much depression suuuuuuucks, Thunderbolts* somehow also manages to be thoroughly enjoyable and contain probably the most heart of any entry in…

An answer to the age old question of “what if Zennials took Ozempic and got into jazzercise?”, Coralie Fargeat’s stunningly crafted social satire is the exact kind of bold, stylish, nasty thriller we need more of in modern cinema. A Jekyll & Hyde tale that comments on celebrity, age, and absurd beauty standards, The Substance also has the brawn to be a disgusting grindhouse movie in conversation with classics from Cronenberg, Gordon, and Romero.

By the end of its punishing bloodbath…