11/10, faith in dating apps restored. Who says romance is dead in 2025? Christopher Landon took one look at swipe culture & said “Let’s weaponize anxiety 🥰”
Now your next dating app meetup will go a little something like this:
“I had a great time”
“Are you ghosting me or are you crying for help?”
Thought I’d check out the OGs while we’re waiting for the 2025 remake, Locked with Bill Skarsgård & Anthony Hopkins. I mean, come on, squeeze those two together & you know it’s going to be beautifully unhinged.
Always been inclined towards narratives of this kind. 127 Hours, Cast Away, Heretic you name it—ones where the tension comes from one or two people trapped in a confined space. Throw someone in a room, give them a few objects, make them sweat & frustrated… bam—you’ve got…
“You're right. I do know you. I know everything about you. I know you take almond milk in your coffee. I know you like your bedsheets untucked. I know your favorite hobbies are bar trivia, video games & prattling on endlessly about everything the universe owes you.
I know that you always need to be in control.
I know that you have a below average sized penis.
I know that you think that having a few million dollars will disguise the…
Emilia Pérez had me doing some serious shadow work here.
“Why can’t I belt out these songs? Is it because I don’t speak Spanish? Holy shit am I the problem?”
Spoiler alert: it’s not me. It’s the melodies.
Or lack thereof.
Who was in charge of the score? Seriously, who?
‘cause it sounds like they had to pull an all nighter with a broken Casio keyboard.
Songs were so awkward & forced it’s giving “once back in school, me & my group…
