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No Country For A-dorf

okay, not my best work

Everyone gave Nobs an ovation, which was nice.

I think it's important to let everyone know that while the soundtrack to this movie is not bad, it does not contain The Breeders. There is a very close facsimile of their iconic Cannonball intro near the beginning of the film. It's kinda like they had the rights, but then lost them and tried to make a soundalike. Anyway, interesting movie.

This village is more superstitious than all of major league baseball.

Sex work is work and work sucks.

William Petersen gobbles every inch of every scene as cigar-chomping and skirt-chasing rascal, Stud Cantrell, in this made for HBO Bull Durham meets Major League. Standing in for Susan Sarandon is a very available Virginia Madsen. Dermot Mulroney is the Tim Robbins analogue, more or less, rounding out the trio.

It's 1957 (three years after the events of Porky's, unrelated) and the last place Tampico Stogies (in a league so bottom barrel you'd need to kick it over and dig in the mud underneath to find it) are up to their regular hard drinking and womanizing ways. Lead by team ace and home run champ, the never-made-it-to-the-Big-Show, Cecil "Stud" Cantrell, who also is team captain and manager, as well as, local Lothario. Like an atomic era Dennis Reynolds, Stud lives by a problematic, at best, series of personal idioms. Sorry ladies, Mr. Cantrell is just untamable. Good luck, Ms. Madsen.

With age catching up and corporate bearing down can a small town group of nobodies take the pennant? Probably, I don't know, you are gonna have to watch it or read the Wikipedia or something.

The weirdest thing about this movie is the pairing of Henry Gibson and Teller (yes, that Teller) as brothers with a decidedly Wormtongue/ Theoden vibe.

Mimicking the highs and lows of a very long baseball season, the nearly two hour Long Gone shifts tonally from slapstick to sorrow with varying levels of success. (I am so sorry, Peaches) Not the greatest baseball movie ever (Maybe the rarity of this one pumps its stats a bit), but if that's a thing for you, you could do worse.

Joel Murray in his second credited role.

Not better than the sum of its parts, but not terrible. Generally eerie at times and among the good performances a couple standout mega-acting moments. Also, someone says "dirsty flirtsy angel bitch", so you know.

"You play a good game boy"

-Duke, the ̶n̶a̶z̶i̶ evil spirit trapped inside a carousel unicorn.

Terrible people doing terrible things with terrible dubbing. As goofy as it is gross. A real gem.

Old Chief Wood'nhead for a new generation

The cinema is an invention without any future.

More of a S "ripoff" than a Backrooms one. Obviously made by friends with a small budget. A bit rough a round the edges even for one of these.

I been trying to come up with a funny "red, red wine" UB40 lyric joke but all I can think about is her crazy eyes.

It really bothered me for some reason that in the beginning when the cat jumps onto the bed to make biscuits and sleep that there is no squish making the bed seem as hard and unyielding as every other hard surface.

"We don't wish to learn but we hate what we don't understand"

The Riverbottom Nightmare Band posits about the American electorate.

Watched on Tuesday October 29, 2024.

Watched on Tuesday October 29, 2024.

If you have a phobia of baby hands you best keep moving.

This review may contain spoilers.

Is Dan Aykroyd from the opening of Twilight Zone: The Movie a part of this family?

Homemade Ozplo-trash at its finest.

The ghouls from Messiah of Evil all got jobs for the summer at the local carnival and boy do they get up to some zany adventures.

Play "(Don't Fear) The Reaper" over the opening minutes for added fun.

Knowing absolutely zero about this film which features Charles Laughton chewing the shit out of every scene in the best possible ways is probably the best way to see this movie featuring Charles Laughton chewing the shit out of every scene in the best possible ways.

+half star for Charles Laughton chewing the shit out of every scene in the best possible ways

I actually liked this not really a horror movie but a murder mystery with a side of Indian mysticism. Just some weird ideas to go along with heaps of atmosphere.

Local Seattle connection: The slimy chauffeur, Laurie, is played by Leif Erickson who was s Farmers first husband.

Sure it's a bit slow and the framing structure is goofy, but it's not that bad and it's Mexico's first sound horror film for Pete's sake.

However, I could have done with less close-ups of Carlos Orellana's wincing, punchable face.

Incidentally, the curse in the film that has been ed down though the years as it catches up to our protagonists had probably claimed about 20-25 four year olds up to the time the film takes place. Just the unsung cost of backstory.

While there were a couple reels obviously missing, the overall story doesn't seem to suffer and I don't think you need anymore shots of flames tormenting souls. We get it, Hell; you're hot.

Those cops were totally going to shoot that guy in the back for stealing the car. ACAB, even in 1913.

You are just gonna dump the crumbs all over the floor, huh. Pretty rude, ghost.

We begin another dumb horror marathon where I watch a movie for every decade in a row.

Most people don't know this but, Méliès shot the moon in its eye because of this transgression.

Unfortunately, I guess being a repugnant and constant sex pest doesn't pollute your soul enough to be devoured by a can-only-consume-evil energy demon.

Pretty good, if obtuse at times, customer service.

Watched on Tuesday September 24, 2024.

Watched on Monday September 23, 2024.

Watched on Monday September 23, 2024.

Watched on Monday September 23, 2024.

Watched on Monday September 23, 2024.

Watched on Monday September 23, 2024.

Watched on Sunday September 22, 2024.

Watched on Sunday September 22, 2024.

Watched on Sunday September 22, 2024.

Watched on Sunday September 22, 2024.

There are two good cannibals musicals in the world. What a time to be alive.

Nice shout out to Dead Of Winter

Watched on Saturday September 21, 2024.

Just to temper expectations because you are probably reading a lot of words in many reviews like "nihilism", "Ulta violent" etc. While it is violent, it's not an extreme tour of misery like Come And See, Salo or I Stand Alone. I liked it though.

Watched on Friday September 20, 2024.

Smoke and dicks and hot chockys.

Who are "international cleaning"? Is this some kind of world building?

More like "Bring You Down" after watching it, amirite

Watched on Thursday September 19, 2024.

• The Kentucky Fried Movie
• Innerspace

This is a list of movies that feature a sentient ball. Let me know if I missed any.

• Heavy Metal
• Solarbabies
• Phantasm III: Lord of the Dead