Jeremy Long Patron

I am a writer, stand up comedian and overall cinephile.

Favorite films

  • Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
  • Scott Pilgrim vs. the World
  • Everything Everywhere All at Once
  • Punch-Drunk Love

All
  • Fountain of Youth

    ★★

  • Fear Street: Prom Queen

    ★★

  • Moonrise Kingdom

    ★★★★

  • The Phoenician Scheme

    ★★★★

More
Bones and All

2022

★★★★★ Liked 4

Well, Luca Guadagnino has done it again. He’s created yet another masterpiece. Between his incomparable direction and the beautiful and brilliant script by David Kajganich, they have somehow crafted a film that left me both shaken and in tears.

I would think but his point, we all know that this film is about cannibals. I don’t think that is a spoiler. What shocked me is how they created characters that are so deeply relatable in their coming of age and…

BARDO, False Chronicle of a Handful of Truths

2022

★★★★★ Liked Watched

Wow. Wow wow wow wow! Absolutely breathtaking in every sense of the word.

When people talk about true cinema, I believe a film like this would be included. In a day and age when so many people are complaining about superhero movies and sequels and remakes and so on and so forth, we have a film like this that is who wholeheartedly original and singular that it shuts down all those complaints of film being “dead”.

We all already knew…

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Bring Her Back

2025

★★★ Liked Watched

I gotta hand it to the Philippou brothers, they know how compose a horror film coming only from a YouTube background and school of hard Knox and I really respect and appreciate them for that. Of course, coupled with the fact that they are two of the sweetest lads in the industry right now makes it hard not to love them. Unfortunately, I can’t let that sway my viewpoint or to be dishonest when I tell you that Bring Her…

Final Destination Bloodlines

2025

★★★★½ Liked Watched

Literally everything I would want in a Final Destination legacy sequel. Final Destination: Bloodlines easily could have been  cheap cash grab gimmick on a beloved franchise with a huge fanbase…basically a repeat of part four, but instead what we got is a carefully constructed story that really leaned into the comedy, and even drama, elements of the franchise, while still keeping the element we love most: the over the top, crazy unique kills. And boy oh boy, does this one have…

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On the Line

2022

★★★★ Liked 6

I mean, come on! That was a fun fucking movie. Period. I don’t understand how there are so many negative reviews, and I’m a screenwriter for crying out loud! Most of them are complaining about the ending. That the ending ruined it. How come? I think they should all be asking themselves why? Because, in my book, it’s a great fucking ending. 

Did you all hate the ending because it wasn’t what you were expecting? From the reviews i have…

Honor Society

2022

★★★½ Liked Watched

I liked this movie a lot more than I was expecting to! I was invited to the premiere, so then I watched the trailer and I expected it to be a typical, cliche teenage rom com. But, I went anyways because I love free booze. 

And, truth is, yes there is a decent amount of that cliche, teenage rom com stuff in the plot and many parts are predictable! But, the film has enough going for it, mainly the honest…