4v291o

if reading whitney houston’s wikipedia page was a movie, this would be it. devoid of much narrative conflict or artistic flair, the picture hits all the major moments with as much pomp and circumstance as a high school graduation, earnest but so disappointingly flat. the directing and editing and cinematography are so painfully boring, sprinkled with a few moments of creativity; there’s one transition from whitney’s face into spotlights across the los angeles skyline that i found really charming. it falls into the fatal trappings of biopics, including sacrificing a compelling narrative for the sake of historical accuracy (and boy do they try and stuff this already long 146 runtime with as much as they possibly can), and this severely hampers the pacing and strips the audience of much of the emotional investment. there’s no artistic voice or meaningful highlight or uniqueness in it— in a film desperately trying to tell you everything about the artist, it ends up saying next nothing substantial about her at all. it’s carried solely by whitney houston’s music and naomi ackie’s performance. stanley tucci is always a pleasure to watch, but saying he’s underutilized here would be an understatement.

one thing i genuinely loved is how they handled the ending of the film, but personally, i think whitney houston deserves a better biopic in general. i enjoyed my time with it because i watched it with my best friend, and we both love whitney.

Watched on Friday August 6, 2021.

Watched on Friday March 26, 2021.

loses some of its appeal on rewatch due to the subpar narrative, but god is the action so fucking fun. motorcycle jousting will always make me smile.

mission: impossible ranked

yuri polycule origin story.

tinker bell ranked

it’s so messy, especially in the beginning. i’m still reeling from the loss of ilsa in the previous film, hanging on to a nonsensical hope that i would catch a glimpse of her, even in a flashback. the implications of the ending are questionable, specifically given dead reckoning’s themes and allegorical stance on artificial intelligence and the overall state of the apathetic, corporatized and soulless state of film and television, and art as a whole.

but by god did i love this. in all its flaws and confusion, the heart remains. i chose to trust ethan hunt, to trust tom cruise, one last time— the president of movies delivered. the ion of the creative minds behind this decades long franchise bleeds into the filmmaking, as well as into the ion and dedication of the characters, a misfit team representing the soul and endurance of comion, of human connection and empathy. i cried so much, feeling similar emotions as when i watched no time to die a few years ago. it’s funny to say in the grand scope of all of life’s experiences, but one of my greatest regrets is genuinely not getting into this series sooner, not taking the opportunity to watch as many of these films as possible in theaters. i’m just so thankful i was able to watch this finale in imax, a glimpse at the artistry so many people have been enamored with for decades. thank you, mr. movies.

mission: impossible ranked

“i swear, your life will always matter more to me than my own.”
“you don’t even know me.”
“what difference does that make?”

in this age of growing over-reliance on artificial intelligence in its myriad forms, an age of burgeoning distrust and disdain where hostility between in- and out-groups festers at the hands of modified and misrepresented information, it’s such a beacon of hope to witness a piece of art that is so deeply entrenched in comion and humanity. ethan hunt is not just the living manifestation of destiny, but also an avatar of comion. the entity is cold, callous, unfeeling. it represents the utter lack of empathy and foresight with which both the united states government and capitalism treat people, eager to sacrifice individuality, freedom, privacy and critical thought in exchange for power, complacency and automation. in our modern world, a world in which technofascism is so quickly on the rise, the indomitable human spirit must fight back with the tenacity of ethan hunt.

it’s so poignant that the director of national intelligence in this film would be so willing and eager to marry the entity with the overwhelming might of america’s military industrial complex, so willing to rewrite the truth to suit his own interests. gabriel, the fanatical messenger angel of the entity, does not ascribe to these same ambitions, but his own zealotry’s goals can only lead to another form of human subjugation. this is not even technically a war with artificial intelligence, but rather the philosophy that engenders it. it’s a war against apathy, a war against the relinquishment of agency for the sake of convenience. it is a war against the commodification of every moment of human life, a fight to save the sanctuaries of the human soul and preserve artistic integrity; in cruise’s main point of contention, it’s a war to preserve institutions like the theater. what was born out of ion and ingenuity has deteriorated into huxley’s soma, from exploring imagination to simply consuming content. literature, and by extension art in its countless forms, has constantly warned of this evil. from bradbury to orwell, from huxley’s brave new world to herbert’s butlerian jihad, mankind’s desperate need to innovate and develop has lead to our demise in some fashion intellectually, emotionally, physically, etc. at what point will we ever stop? at what point will we ever realize the gravity of our mistakes, and start to seek our own humanity again? the future is bleak, but the ability change it is always in our grasp.

mission:impossible ranked
2023 ranked
2020s favorites

“please, god, don't let me fall in love and want to do disgusting things.“

i absolutely adored this film, oh my god. it gives me the same cozy feeling as when i watch steel magnolias or practical magic. the set and costume designs are gorgeous, and the cinematography is just so lovely and warm, complemented by seamless editing. the camera constantly surprised me with how it moved through scenes; nowadays on streaming, film and television hardly ever put this much effort into their presentation. cher and winona ryder are so obviously stellar here, but bob hoskins is such a pleasant presence that i wasn’t expecting to be charmed by. i think that’s due to my first exposure to him being the horrid 1993 mario adaptation, but here he’s so hot and charismatic. it also baffles me how as a nine year old in her film debut christina ricci manages to play drunk far better than many adults ever do. lastly, the soundtrack is a fucking banger. genuinely one of the best licensed track lists i’ve ever heard in a film. i’m so happy i got to see this on the silver screen.

they can’t all be haigh’s weekend or sciamma’s portrait of a lady on fire. queer people are diverse as hell some of us make some really bad movies. even the blooper reel was painful.

2025 ranked

my favorite ghibli film. my first time seeing it in theaters, and i sobbed so hard. i believe in the kindness of strangers.

miyazaki/ghibli ranked
1980s favorites

“nothing happened, because you were here; and i sleep soundly at night knowing you always will be.”

just absolutely fucking perfect. from the different homages to previous entries (m:i1 with the false interrogation set and overall narrative structure and beats, m:i2 with the free soloing, m:i3 with julia) to the absolutely breathtaking set pieces, it’s all just so fucking spectacular. if the two part finale of dead reckoning and the soon to be released final reckoning didn’t exist, i would count this as the perfect capstone to the franchise— this is the beauty of blockbuster cinema.

mission: impossible ranked
2010s favorites

vapid vanity project attempting to hide itself behind a veil of unfounded pretension. it so desperately wants to convince the viewer of its profundity and vulnerability, but there’s so clearly nothing of note beneath the veneer of pretty cinematography. i can’t for the life of me rationalize why jenna ortega would attach herself to this project as an actor or an executive producer. she’s easily the best part of the film, acting circles around abel much in the same way florence pugh does around harry styles in don’t worry darling.

i saw somebody describe this film as lynchian, and that’s so disrespectful to david lynch. just because a picture tries its hand at surrealist dream sequences or cyclical storytelling, that doesn’t mean that it’s lynchian or operating on the same principles of storytelling that he ascribes to. this was a mostly miserable experience, with the only levity being the unintentionally comedic beats, like jenna ortega giving a lesson on the weeknd’s songwriting to himself as she also forces him to watch her dance to song after song.

2025 ranked

“stay curious, craig waterman.”

literally every single comedic choice tim robinson makes in this film is the funniest choice possible. had my entire theater laughing basically the whole time. this is like if the banshees of inisherin was an i think you should leave sketch. GOD i fucking love movies.

2024 ranked
a24 ranked
2020s favorites

what do you mean alanis morissette wrote “uninvited” for this movie???? what do you MEAN the goo goo dolls wrote “iris” for this movie???!!! HAVE I BEEN LIVING UNDER A ROCK????!!

also there’s no way in hell seth would’ve lasted more than two strokes the man just became human and full body convulsed at the touch of rubbing alcohol. he is absolutely, without a doubt, nutting at the first touch and i refuse to believe this film’s lies.

nicolas cage ranked

this was so much fun, my first final destination experience on the silver screen. it has some of the best kills in the series, and easily the most likable ensemble cast as well. maybe it’s the excitement of watching a fun film with an engaged audience, but i think this is my favorite of the franchise. there are things that previous films have done better, and it feels like it’s afraid to commit to the more sentimental moments; but this feels like the most well-rounded and fully realized entry. the setup manages to remain fresh despite the familiar premise, and stupid character choices and goofy circumstances are series staples. i also really love how this expands on the character of bludworth and how it respects tony todd as a horror icon and dearly beloved and missed human being. what a blast.

final destination ranked

“damn, ma, don’t you have a job?”

this shit was funny as hell. split diopter shots were fun. luke evans is packing an absolute hog. she really told darrell there’s only room for one token black friend in the group. we should let academy award winners get freaky with it more often.

“wu-tang clan ain’t nothing to fuck with.”

i love da’vine joy randolph with all my heart but this was so fucking boring. her scenes bickering with her partner were the best parts of the movie. just about everything else is mush.

what did rebel wilson do to end up here? what did rupert graves do to end up here? what did rupert everett do to end up here? what did sir derek jacobi do to end up here?

the songs are mostly inoffensive (however, entries like “i should write this down” are an affront to music) but oh dear god are they drab. just the most uncreative pop melodies and lyrics set to horrible direction; there are very few moments where the camera and choreography seem to be working with the music instead of against it. the set and costume designs are vibrant, but terribly misguided without any sense of historical accuracy or stylistic cohesion; just as the faux british accents that plague period pieces like this, it’s all a rough amalgamation of generic western european stereotypes and aesthetics.

the story changes made for this adaptation are either superfluous or nonsensical, and sometimes they’re both. the tragedy of romeo and juliet has been done so many times that it should be a cake walk to adapt the narrative effectively. this is such a shitty “modernization” of the tale and it can’t even commit to the bit. modern retellings of classics can work really well, like heckerling’s 1995 adaptation of austen’s emma: the iconic film, clueless. even the 2023 film anyone but you was a unique modern (if loosely based) retelling of much ado about nothing— even if it wasn’t spectacular, it was still entertaining.

i miss baz luhrmann’s adaptation. i miss harold perrineau’s mercutio. i miss real artistic vision backed by singular talent and skill.

2025 ranked

“be well. live a good life.”

early into the movie we get a tender monster fucking scene and i thought i was already watching peak fiction. then the film gently shifts into a saccharine tale of single motherhood, the complex emotional turmoil of growing up without a concrete identity as a mixed child, and the impact of a loving and caring community; by the time the credits rolled i was weeping and the film proved over and over that it was in fact peak fiction, just not in the way i initially expected. this was a cathartic and wholesome film that touched my heart in a very special way.

2010s favorites

“sir, hunt is the living manifestation of destiny, and he has made you his mission.”

rebecca ferguson single-handedly increased the quality of this franchise by simply being in it. this movie is pure fucking gas from the first scene. mcq has the sauce, this really tactile sense of filmmaking. the motorcycle chase sequence feels so visceral. ethan’s dedication to his friends is borderline obsessive. the hand to hand combat’s shot so exhilaratingly, each set piece brilliantly laid out and explored throughout the action, an overwhelmingly satisfying experience with such a resounding score. this is an excellent action movie - emblematic of this series’ evolution into a high quality action adventure series - though it’s not the kind of spy thriller i love, like the original 90s film.

p.s. it’s not lost on me that ilsa is the new female lead and that they go to casablanca. that was a choice made specifically to appeal to my sensibilities.

mission: impossible ranked

“mc gusto, you gotta help me get my revenge. it's one thing that they killed him on the toilet, but they could've wiped his ass! they didn't have to leave him there like that! that's cold-blooded. they gots to pay! they. got. to. pay!”

i haven’t seen this since like middle school, and it still holds up for the most part. i also love how loiter squad’s “carl’s wake” skit definitely seems like it was influenced by trustus’ funeral in this film.

this movie introduces a special ops fairy force full of lesbians it doesn’t get any better than that. if fawn and nyx had an actual enemies to lovers plotline it would’ve easily made this the best entry in the series.

tinker bell ranked

“i gave her one ambien… or four.”
“FOUR?!”
“she was traumatized from having to sit in economy!”

bullet train but on a plane and worse. still love josh hartnett down and i’m so down bad for charithra chandran.

2024 ranked

“jesus, jessica, what size fuckin’ feet do you have?!”

the moment i found out eli craig was directing this i knew it was in good hands. tucker & dale vs. evil is a horror comedy staple and this film was such a fun ride the whole way through. there are things i wish it did more of, specifically clown-related humor (like the squeaky clown shoes, and given the number of friendos it would’ve been fucking hilarious to see a bunch of them pile into a small clown car or endlessly running out of one), but what it does deliver is still very entertaining. the gore is nice, even if a lot of the kills feel uninventive. the humor is pretty great, especially when it plays on kids’ unfamiliarity with older technology. the rotary phone bit was my favorite part of the movie.

the most impressive thing with this is it doesn’t change the slasher wheel, but it does frame it well within the context of today’s political climate. the adults in this film blindly follow their small town oligarch, played by the ever wonderful kevin durand (whose likeness to elon musk is not overlooked here). unbeknownst to the populace, he exploits their suffering for his own benefit and casts the blame on the younger generation. he preys on their anxieties and insecurities, cultivating an atmosphere of conservative disdain that’s so blatantly representative of the current american societal climate. it doesn’t have anything necessarily profound to say on either side, but it’s still a refreshing usage of the slasher genre. all the best slashers (halloween, black christmas, the texas chainsaw massacre, etc.) explore the social anxieties of their time in meaningful ways, and while it’s not as biting of a horror satire as scream it’s still good to see that this film took the right influences from its predecessors.

p.s. i clocked those two gay boys so quickly! the moment the girls figured it out was so funny and satisfying.

2025 ranked

“mission accomplished!”

tom cruise is finally letting loose with the physical comedy and simon pegg’s role becoming more prominent is only a benefit to this series. the burj khalifa set piece and espionage hijinks are genuinely exhilarating and the best parts of this film; plus the ing cast is solid all around (god bless the casting directors for getting léa seydoux in this film she’s luminous). there are things to critique about it, like how the cg compositing has not aged well over time and how somewhat reserved a majority of the stunts feel in comparison to previous entries, but the experience overall is tight and fun the whole way through.

brad bird’s direction is definitely an improvement over abrams’, but de palma’s is still my favorite. this definitely comes the closest so far to emulating the humor and atmosphere of the original and melding it with modern sensibilities. if the first half of woo’s sequel wasn’t so abysmally nauseating with its forced heterosexuality it would’ve edged out this entry.

if only there were an app in which i could discuss jeremy renner’s role in this film with other diehard fans.

mission: impossible ranked

i have an on again off again relationship with jj abrams’ approach to filmmaking and storytelling. i don’t always like the way he shoots action, and this is one of his films where i wasn’t enjoying it as much as i would’ve liked. the stunts are insane as usual, but the way it’s filmed and edited is a little too jarring and haphazard for my taste, and his visual style doesn’t have the same appeal as woo’s or de palma’s. this is a rougher approach to filmmaking, which is tonally in line with the story abrams chose to tell, but in my eyes this style really suffers from the lack of de palma’s swanky and reserved formalness and woo’s bombastic kineticism. this is also the least visually appealing of the three so far, with some garish color grading and mostly conventional cinematography. that being said, i liked how this entry unofficially starts the series trend of tom cruise sprinting for ungodly distances and the way that sequence was filmed was really gripping.

this is without a doubt cruise’s best acting in the franchise so far, and ethan hunt’s commitment to his relationship with julia is compelling, but that’s the extent of my praise for the narrative and characterizations. all of the side characters typically feel hollow outside of ethan in these movies, but that feels the most apparent here. philip seymour hoffman is an absolute tour de force, and while he’s genuinely stellar in this role and carries the performance with this eerie gravitas of barely reserved fury, his character isn’t given much to do and feels like wasted potential. the twists are predictable and not very satisfying, whereas similar twists like the masks felt fresh in the original film and campy fun in the sequel.

i still had a good time, but i miss the over the top flair of woo’s directorial hand and lament what could’ve been had the series retained the paranoia and anxiety of de palma’s entry. i’m also coming to with the fact that ethan hunt won’t be doing magic tricks anymore and that’s honestly the saddest part. his little card trick scene in the original was so quirky and added so much personality to both his character and the film.

mission: impossible ranked

“this punk put a hole in my versace!”

i was fucking ECSTATIC when i saw brendan gleeson on screen. then i found out that his role was so small and that made me sad. HOWEVER, we get doves surrounding ethan hunt as if they’re his familiars, harbingers of ass kicking. john woo’s style is so electric, melodramatic storytelling oozing with charisma. from the slow motion to the frenetic editing to the transitions from the rock and roll arrangement of the mission: impossible theme to choral scores, it’s all so over the top and charming. and the actual action?? exhilarating. sweeping camera shots and hints of wire fu abound here. tom cruise is an absolute animal for the stunt work he does himself, from the free solo climb in the opening to the insane motorcycle stunts in the finale. i truly can’t fathom how he keeps managing to one up himself in this series and am so excited for what’s to come.

a lot of the paranoia and tension typical of traditional spy thrillers found in the original are lost here in favor of elements found in more standard blockbuster action films, but that comes with its own appeal. one style of camp traded for another. i will say that i much prefer the narrative of the original, and the first half of this movie doesn’t engross me once we move on from the foreplay between ethan and nyah. once we’re at the biocyte break-in john woo’s able to lock in and he doesn’t take his foot off the gas until the end credits, and i love how the final shot is reminiscent of seurat’s a sunday afternoon on the island of la grande jatte. woo rocks. dudes rock.

what i love about franchises where each film is directed by a different individual is it really feels like a microcosm of artistic conversation. art is political in the sense that it’s constantly a result of one person’s response to their environment or upbringing or another artists’ work, and so seeing directors in direct dialogue with each other within the framework of a series makes the developments of each entry feel more personal and provides more depth for the experience. you can still feel how they’re trying to suss out the tone and atmosphere of the series here, like they’re still unsure of who ethan hunt is as a character and it feels very experimental in comparison to the first film and i just find that so intriguing. i know once we get to mcquarrie he becomes the permanent director for the series, so i’m really just trying to absorb and appreciate the time we have with each director’s vision beforehand, and by god does john woo have the juice.

mission: impossible ranked

the most satisfying setups and deaths of the  franchise, especially the gymnastics scene. but that ending, holy shit that ending. this film depends on the context of the original to really sell the impact of it and god is it so fucking satisfying. i also like how william bludworth has become more of a harbinger of death over the years. all that being said, i could’ve done without the r slur and the character of isaac palmer. this movie feels like a perfect capstone for the series, so i’m very intrigued with how bloodlines is going to pan out when it releases later this month.

final destination ranked

“why would they act when they’re behind the crime?”

fucking brutal. as a child of the diaspora i’ve only ever heard stories of and read about the marcos regime, so seeing art created during it and about the people suffering from the systemic oppression in its myriad forms during this era was so heartbreaking. it still feels like not much has changed, especially as the nation’s still reeling from duterte’s presidency and with another marcos currently in power. even outside of the philippines, corruption abounds and people suffer at the hands of those with the power to exploit those beneath them. it’s a universal and multicultural tragedy, a blemish on humanity.

1970s favorites

“i was meant. to see. this. movie.”

so fucking abysmal to get through, from the writing to the acting and the abhorrent cgi. there’s plenty of worse movies than this, but not by much. at least the sharknado series is self aware enough to know it’s dog shit, and at least it’s usually fun dog shit. this is just a slog to get through despite its sub-ninety minute runtime. what a drop in quality from the previous installment.

despite that there are a few things i like: quinn from one tree hill is one of the main characters, i like that the nazi bastard dies first and in a comedically ironic fashion, the camera moves with more personality and thought behind blocking and staging than a lot of productions in this current streaming age of middling/ugly films and television, and the pool death is an actual irrational fear i had as a kid so that actually got me.

david lynch described inland empire as a story about “a woman in trouble.” here, we find the surfer to be a story about a normal day in the life of nicolas cage and it unfolds in much the same way. nicolas cage could’ve played nikki grace in inland empire just as well as laura dern could’ve played the surfer here. both films are concerned with this disorienting, all consuming immersion that restructures both the protagonist’s and the viewer’s perception of reality and self, not fully a möbius strip but still deeply seeped in surrealism; both films also star actors who so completely dedicate themselves to the unraveling, disted psyche in a unique way that few others can manage. i walked out of that theater today buzzing and unbalanced, uneasy and psychologically drained and elated at the same time, just like how i felt when i finished the bombardment of fatigue and surrealist experimentation that was inland empire. what a film.

2024 ranked
2020s favorites
nic cage ranked

so much wasted potential with a horror story framed around expectations and sacrifices within an immigrant family. the prosthetic and practical effects are great, but everything else is so abysmally boring and it long outstays its welcome. there are far superior paranormal films with an apartment building as the set piece (evil dead rise) and when the father said “y tu mamá también” in conversation all i could think of is that movie and how much i’d rather be watching that instead.

2025 ranked

“fuck you, ben franklin.”

best in the series so far. this movie is so fun and i actually got invested in the plot, mostly because they cast people who can actually act in this one and mary elizabeth winstead is the lead; she really does carry the film the whole way through. i also like that the puzzle solving for their eventual deaths relies on photographic hints because it reminds me of the foreshadowing of father brennan’s death in the omen. there’s a lot of personality in the filmmaking in comparison to the past two entries (split diopter shots, the tanning bed match cut, the way the camera moves around a scene) that adds plenty of enjoyment to the experience. i also appreciate that in this movie death as an entity feels the most ominous and foreboding its been so far. the deaths are equal parts goofy and harrowing, and while there’s more dread in both the opening and closing sequences of this film than in final destination 2, i still prefer the structure of the highway setup and the ending here pales in comparison to the perfect ending of that movie.

final destination ranked

pleasantly surprised by how much i enjoyed this. it’s amazing what people can accomplish when they’re given the creative freedom to try and make something meaningful— it feels like i watched an actual movie for the first time in a while with this franchise. it feels like a breath of fresh air and a stark contrast to anything else the mcu has released recently thanks to the earnest approach to the subject matter, filming on location, capturing as much as possible in camera, more than competent cinematography/lighting/staging/etc., and a tighter scope for the narrative.

the characters actually feel authentic, the action tactile. the humor often lands without constantly undercutting the emotional beats; those moments feel sincere, and the messaging feels as genuine and well-meaning as possible in this kind of story. it’s inevitably still constricted by its ties to the mcu and typical superhero story structure, but i never felt exasperated or bored with it.

sebastian stan was fine as hell and florence pugh was immaculate as always. it was a fun time at the movies.

2025 ranked
mcu ranked

just a fine movie, that’s the best i can say. it’s hard to pull off a cosmic horror story without feeling derivative of lovecraft or failing to deliver on the horror. bloodborne, jeff vandermeer’s southern reach trilogy, and almost the entirety of mike mignola’s work excel in telling original and compelling cosmic horror; so it’s quite a letdown when an adaptation of a mignola comic doesn’t live up to the standard.

cosmic horror, especially when influenced by lovecraft, isn’t just tentacles and eyes (though those are undoubtedly fun and key to the aesthetic); it’s about a certain abstraction of reality that is too foreign to grasp, and that overwhelming dread, the paranoia inflicted by perceiving the unknowable, is the crux of the horror. this picture attempts to capture that mania but it mostly falls flat and returns to the familiar trappings of a batman story. some of the concepts are great, like two face’s distorted half melding with the environment, but mostly it feels like a rotating door of batman characters. the most egregious part of this movie is despite the rotating door there’s not a single moment where we get john constantine, probably the most appropriate character aside from etrigan to include in this kind of story. what a shame.

2023 ranked

“i hoped you’d push me back.”

genuinely sickening to watch nearly an hour of theroux ever so gently poking and prodding zionists with questions just for them to so very quickly drop the facade of genteel behavior in favor of spouting nationalistic worldviews brimming with vitriol and racist rhetoric. they take pride in their lack of comion, in viewing palestinians as lesser beings undeserving of basic human rights, all the while living with paranoia; paranoia of foreign media observing their dehumanizing ideology and extracting it from the echo chamber they live in for the world to see; paranoia of retaliation from the palestinians they have unhoused and abused and restricted; paranoia of losing land that they’ve been indoctrinated to believe is theirs by divine right, which is so ironic considering the deity they worship is the very same of the people they detest.

there is a deep evil in the cognitive dissonance that these settlers maintain to justify ethnic cleansing and the unethical nature of the discrimination they willingly participate in. it is abhorrent and it’s intertwined with this victim complex that absolves them of any blame.

my heart breaks for the palestinian people.

there’s so much charm in the animation and music. i would watch this, the lion king, cinderella and tarzan constantly with my grandmother as a child. holds a special place in my heart.

disney princess movies ranked

“i want him manning a radar tower in alaska by the end of the day; just mail him his clothes.”

the split diopter shots in this film go fucking crazy man i totally get it now. this is just a conventional spy thriller as far as narrative beats and characterizations go, but everything is elevated by the craftsmanship on display; from de palma’s direction to burum’s cinematography to cruise’s performance to the production design, everything is of such a high caliber that it elevates the story.

mission: impossible ranked

gay for pay has never looked so good. thank you jacob elordi and daisy edgar-jones for your contributions to queer cinema; i absolutely was not looking respectfully.

“what the fuck are you thinking?“
“i'm thinking suck on my junk, bee-atch!”

deeply unserious and goofy ass movie. the actual setups for the kills (especially the entire opening premonition) are masterclasses in rube goldberg fuckery and are so entertaining to watch unfold. it’s a shame that the story is a nonsensical mess but that’s also part of its charm. like the original, i appreciate the attempt at cosmic horror by treating death as this omnipresent entity constantly seeking justice for being slighted, but aside from the kills (‘i’ll just put it on quiet mode’ is a peak scene) it can’t keep me engaged or terrified due to the campy and somewhat dated nature of its premise and execution. perfect ending though.

final destination ranked

“the church is not tradition. the church is not the past. the church is what we do next.“

rip pope francis you would’ve loved the brat edits to this film and the little turtle.

2024 ranked

“and we’ll be right back with our final five lesbians.”

it’s april 25th and i’m a san antonian so you know this is a mandatory watch. our girl was absolutely right: all you need is a light jacket. it’s a shame this wasn’t gayer (shout out miss new york), would’ve been the easiest five star of my life.

“is anybody else growing new teeth?”
“wait, how many are we supposed to have?“

hardly anything like the video game but that doesn’t matter, i still had a good time. i think the time loop approach to the narrative is the best way at tackling this kind of story, given how many outcomes it has based on the choices the player makes. i also like that peter stormare reprises his role from the video game.

the characters and core of the film’s story are quite rote and hollow, but it’s gory and fun at times (especially a certain explosive scene) and that’s all i could really ask of this adaptation. it’s not reinventing the wheel, and it’s not excruciatingly bad. it’s just an average horror film.

the references to the game (especially the patient file on rami malek’s character and the final scene with the cameras changing to the lodge) feel pretty shoehorned in, but it’s nothing egregious.

p.s. odessa a’zion i have received your psychic messages and you can dm me whenever you want.

2025 ranked

brimming with stunning visuals and vibrant set designs. it feels like a showcase of one breathtaking landscape shot after another, from lush forests to snowcapped carpathian mountains that feel like they swallow the frame and characters within them. it can’t be overstated how ethereal and surreal the environments (and as a result the overall atmosphere) often feel, and the fantastical ochi are the glue that hold it all together. the amount of practical effects and puppet work that went into bringing them to life is nothing short of miraculous, and it’s a delight to watch this level of artistry on display.

it draws on the atmosphere and narrative beats of its inspirations, from princess mononoke to how to train your dragon, from e.t. the extra-terrestrial to any number of warring faction frame narratives where two opposing and misunderstanding groups find peace through the individual protagonists willing to accept each other. however, it feels almost unconcerned with any of the thematic depth those stories provide, and seems wholeheartedly devoted to portraying the ethos of its story: communicating through music and feeling. a lot of this picture is vibes based, from the visual aesthetic to the music. much of the narrative and characters feel inert and undercooked, and this also bleeds into the performances. willem dafoe and emily watson were the only actors whose characters truly felt like they were of this world. all of these choices may work for others given how pretty the movie is to watch, but it failed to impact me emotionally with any sort of profundity.

it’s not bad, just underwhelming and middling when compared to its inspirations and contemporaries.

2025 ranked
a24 ranked

“you’re sad. you don’t what you want. you don’t wanting. it ed long ago, and nothing ever changes.”

between this film and alfredson’s let the right one in, tender moments are quickly becoming my favorite interactions in vampire cinema. the entire scene set to “death” by white lies is so intimate, so full of unspoken trust and surrender. i had the same saccharine swelling of emotion in my chest as i did when watching the bedroom scene from let the right one in for the first time. implicit affection and love abound in these moments, in the closing of space between two lonely people and the acceptance of each others’ presence. to be near to someone is to be seen; to be caressed, to be held - by touch or by gaze - is to be loved.

the music and soundscapes here are astounding as well, and it’s shot so beautifully. there’s so much in this film to be dazzled by, but i’m so infatuated with that one scene that everything else takes on this hazy splendor.

2010s favorites

feels like affleck and bernthal hammed up their performances from the first film in a way that slightly borders on caricaturization, but the sincerity in their relationship and the comedy that ensues in their chemistry is just too fucking good. every moment where these two share a scene is either touching or an absolute riot and sometimes the scene is both. peak buddy comedy energy— my best friend and i were cackling or aww-ing the entire way through.

the sparse action is pretty solid, and you can really sense the weight behind a lot of the hits and impacts; it’s the kind of action where you can feel how bad it hurts. the actual mystery/thriller plot is underwhelming and a little silly (yes i know this series is already based off a pulpy concept to begin with), but again at the end of the day the performances really make the movie. i’d watch affleck and bernthal shoot the shit any day.

p.s. i need that cat. not want. i need it.

2025 ranked

“i was old ten years ago.”

this is hardcore Dad Cinema™ but it worked so well for me when i saw it in theaters and it still works for me now. the payoff of the brother dynamic setup is so unexpected in this kind of film and still feels like a funny, awkward and surprisingly heartfelt conclusion for the genre. i still wish anna kendrick had more to do in the story but i really enjoyed what i got.

“so this is how liberty dies… with thunderous applause.”

in the light of all three complete trilogies there’s such a stark contrast in vision when watching the revenge of the sith versus the rise of skywalker. despite all the messiness and genuinely abysmal dialogue and plot structure of the prequel trilogy, at least lucas had a singular vision that he saw to the end in a cohesive three film narrative. the sequel trilogy lacked direction despite its promising if too familiar setup in the force awakens and the compelling thematic challenges of the last jedi. it was a trilogy at war with itself that ultimately caved to the toxic immaturity of fandom and it’s worse off because of it. lucas is oftentimes cringe but at least he’s authentic.

this is my first time seeing this movie in theaters since its release when i was a child; that night was fucking electric. i’ve seen it dozens of times since and can quote it nearly word for word, memes and all. there’s no doubt it’s one of the few films i can’t separate from nostalgia but who gives a fuck when it’s something this fun and iconic.

star wars ranked

first time watching it on the silver screen and it was luminous. lizzy was absolutely aura farming on that cliff edge though.

2000s favorites

i had a friend in elementary named aaron who looked like jeff fungus after mike and sully used the scream extractor on him. pale skin and puffed lips and glasses and everything. he was a super cool dude; we both loved star wars and reading and he’s the person who got me into the inheritance cycle series and for that i’ll always be grateful. i just could never tell him to his face that i thought he looked like jeff fungus because i felt bad about comparing the two of them constantly in my head. aaron, if you’re out there somewhere reading this, just know you’re like the cool version of jeff fungus.

p.s. my friends and i watched this while playing tiny epic dungeons again and we finally won a game. the evil has been defeated. i can die now.

pixar ranked

i looked up the main character’s filmography from the first film and did the leo dicaprio pointing meme when i saw that he was in heart eyes.

1. Final Destination Bloodlines
2. Final Destination 3
3. Final Destination 5
4. Final Destination 2
5. Final Destination
6. The Final Destination

gonna start doing yearly rankings for each year i’ve used letterboxd

honestly a really good year for horror

1. Everything Everywhere All at Once
2. Puss in Boots: The Last Wish
3. The Menu
4. The Batman
5. The Banshees of Inisherin
6. Talk to Me
7. TÁR
8. Barbarian
9. Nope
10. Turning Red

...plus 52 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

it’s a sad year in film now that david lynch is gone but we’re going to keep exploring places that are both wonderful and strange.

1. Sinners
2. Mission: Impossible – The Final Reckoning
3. Mickey 17
4. The Ugly Stepsister
5. Louis Theroux: The Settlers
6. Final Destination Bloodlines
7. One of Them Days
8. Black Bag
9. The Wedding Banquet
10. Companion

...plus 38 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

cinema baby

• 1900s • 1910s • 1920s • 1930s • 1940s • 1950s • 1960s • 1970s • 1980s • 1990s • 2000s • 2010s • 2020s •

• La La Land
• The Witch
• In the Mood for Love
• The ion of Joan of Arc
• Little Women
• Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me
• Roman Holiday
• Tangled
• Halloween
• Dune

...plus 236 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

favorite films of the 2020s in no particular order

full favorites list here

• Past Lives
• Dune: Part Two
• Petite Maman
• Oppenheimer
• Minari
• Godzilla Minus One
• The Holdovers
• John Wick: Chapter 4
• The Menu
• Killers of the Flower Moon

...plus 49 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

tom cruise, you’re a scientologist and a freak, but by god do i respect the hell out of your ion for and contributions to cinema.

1. Mission: Impossible – Fallout
2. Mission: Impossible – Rogue Nation
3. Mission: Impossible – Dead Reckoning
4. Mission: Impossible – The Final Reckoning
5. Mission: Impossible
6. Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol
7. Mission: Impossible II
8. Mission: Impossible III

second year baby 

the movies this year were FIRE and another solid year for horror

1. Past Lives
2. John Wick: Chapter 4
3. Oppenheimer
4. Killers of the Flower Moon
5. The Holdovers
6. Godzilla Minus One
7. Sing Sing
8. Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse
9. Evil Dead Rise
10. When Evil Lurks

...plus 89 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

give it up for year three

1. Dune: Part Two
2. Challengers
3. Anora
4. Nickel Boys
5. Paddington in Peru
6. Over the Garden Wall 10th Anniversary Tribute
7. I Saw the TV Glow
8. Friendship
9. Nosferatu
10. Dìdi (弟弟)

...plus 118 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

favorite films of the 2010s in no particular order

full favorites list here

• The Witch
• Little Women
• Portrait of a Lady on Fire
• The Lighthouse
• Parasite
• The Farewell
• Your Name.
• A Silent Voice: The Movie
• Booksmart
• Knives Out

...plus 60 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

favorite horror movies, from slashers to supernatural to comedies, etc.

• The Witch
• Halloween
• Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me
• Scream
• Hereditary
• Annihilation
• The Lighthouse
• Alien
• Scream 4
• The Texas Chain Saw Massacre

...plus 104 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

yes, it’s just a distribution/production company but there’s a lot of movies they’ve distributed and i want to rank them because fuck it i can.

1. The Witch
2. The Lighthouse
3. Past Lives
4. Everything Everywhere All at Once
5. The Farewell
6. Marcel the Shell with Shoes On
7. Sing Sing
8. Minari
9. I Saw the TV Glow
10. Talk to Me

...plus 43 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

i feel like abed from community

1. Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse
2. Pig
3. The Surfer
4. Mandy
5. The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent
6. Longlegs
7. Face/Off
8. National Treasure: Book of Secrets
9. National Treasure
10. Dream Scenario

...plus 13 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

i fucking love these movies man

1. Secret of the Wings
2. Tinker Bell and the Pirate Fairy
3. Tinker Bell and the Legend of the NeverBeast
4. Tinker Bell
5. Tinker Bell and the Great Fairy Rescue
6. Tinker Bell and the Lost Treasure

favorite films of the 70s in no particular order

full favorites list here

• Halloween
• Alien
• The Texas Chain Saw Massacre
• Young Frankenstein
• Taxi Driver
• Star Wars
• The Exorcist
• Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory
• Fantastic Planet
• Carrie

...plus 5 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

can’t help being a spider-man shill

1. Spider-Man: Homecoming
2. Avengers: Infinity War
3. Avengers: Endgame
4. Thor: Ragnarok
5. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3
6. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
7. Guardians of the Galaxy
8. Black Panther: Wakanda Forever
9. Spider-Man: No Way Home
10. Captain America: Civil War

...plus 26 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

tangled is PEAK don’t @ me

1. Tangled
2. Frozen
3. Mulan
4. Moana
5. Aladdin
6. Beauty and the Beast
7. The Princess and the Frog
8. Cinderella
9. Frozen II
10. Brave

...plus 5 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

i like the silly space movies

1. The Empire Strikes Back
2. Star Wars
3. Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith
4. Star Wars: The Last Jedi
5. Star Wars: The Force Awakens
6. Return of the Jedi
7. Solo: A Star Wars Story
8. Rogue One: A Star Wars Story
9. Star Wars: Episode II – Attack of the Clones
10. Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace

...plus 1 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

favorite films of the 2000s in no particular order

full favorites list here

• In the Mood for Love
• Millennium Mambo
• The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
• Coraline
• Mean Girls
• 2046
• The Devil Wears Prada
• The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
• The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
• Nacho Libre

...plus 48 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

bring back the animated bloopers pls

1. Coco
2. Finding Nemo
3. The Incredibles
4. Monsters, Inc.
5. Toy Story 2
6. Ratatouille
7. Up
8. Toy Story
9. Inside Out
10. A Bug's Life

...plus 9 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

i will not apologize for my list horse girl movies belong at the top

1. How to Train Your Dragon 2
2. How to Train Your Dragon
3. Shrek 2
4. Puss in Boots: The Last Wish
5. Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron
6. The Prince of Egypt
7. Shrek
8. The Wild Robot
9. Kung Fu Panda
10. Megamind

...plus 15 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

i be the witch of the wood

1. The Witch
2. Dune: Part Two
3. The Queen's Gambit
4. The Menu
5. Emma.
6. Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga
7. Love, Antosha
8. The Northman
9. Marrowbone
10. Split

...plus 16 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

movies i enjoy that, whether it’s about the actual process or experience of filmmaking (irma vep), or a good portion of the film takes places on sets or through the lens (including but not exclusively found footage films, i.e. the blair witch project), or the characters’ relationships and plot lines involve filmmaking (the fall guy), or films whose narrative loosely involves parts of the process (la la land), it’s all here in no particular order.

• Irma Vep
• Singin' in the Rain
• La La Land
• One Cut of the Dead
• Inland Empire
• Mulholland Drive
• Tropic Thunder
• King Kong
• The Blair Witch Project
• As Above, So Below

...plus 3 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

my favorite movie musicals, both original and adapted, in no particular order.

• The Phantom of the Opera at the Royal Albert Hall
• La La Land
• Moulin Rouge!
• Singin' in the Rain
• Tangled
• High School Musical 2
• The Prince of Egypt
• High School Musical 3: Senior Year
• Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory
• Blue Giant

...plus 30 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

you are witnessing a front three-quarters view of two adults sharing a tender moment

1. Twin Peaks
2. Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me
3. Twin Peaks: The Return
4. Lost Highway
5. Mulholland Drive
6. Blue Velvet
7. David Lynch Cooks Quinoa
8. Eraserhead
9. Rabbits
10. The Alphabet

...plus 38 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

nepotism done right

1. The Virgin Suicides
2. Priscilla
3. Marie Antoinette
4. Lost in Translation

he doesn’t always nail it but god do i respect his hustle. plus he’s one of the few directors who, when i see them cameo in their own film, i just go aww it’s pookie 🥰

1. Unbreakable
2. Split
3. Trap
4. Glass
5. Knock at the Cabin
6. After Earth
7. The Last Airbender

michael bay fundamentally misunderstands and misrepresents transformers in his movies the same way that zack snyder fundamentally misunderstands and misrepresents dc superheroes in his movies.

• The Transformers: The Movie
• Transformers One
• Transformers
• Transformers: Rise of the Beasts
• Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
• Transformers: Dark of the Moon
• Transformers: Age of Extinction

favorite films of the 80s in no particular order

full favorites list here

• The Thing
• Kiki's Delivery Service
• Clue
• The Princess Bride
• The Empire Strikes Back
• Aliens
• The Evil Dead
• Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind
• Blue Velvet
• Steel Magnolias

...plus 6 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

“this is NEON bitch!!! we clown in this muthafucka betta take yo sensitive ass back to a24.”

• Portrait of a Lady on Fire
• Parasite
• Petite Maman
• Anora
• Anatomy of a Fall
• The Seed of the Sacred Fig
• Pig
• Longlegs
• Crimes of the Future
• Cuckoo

...plus 10 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

people mischaracterize snoopy and think he’s a cute, innocent little puppy when in reality he’s a miscreant and trickster god and that mischievousness is what makes him a great character.

• A Charlie Brown Christmas
• Snoopy Presents: For Auld Lang Syne
• It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown
• I Want a Dog for Christmas, Charlie Brown
• A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving
• Happy New Year, Charlie Brown
• A Charlie Brown Valentine
• Be My Valentine, Charlie Brown
• It's Christmastime Again, Charlie Brown
• Charlie Brown's Christmas Tales

shitty movies i love

• The Knight Before Christmas
• The Princess Switch
• Santa Jaws
• Mariah Carey's All I Want for Christmas Is You
• The Emoji Movie
• Windstorm
• So Undercover
• Land of the Lost
• Camp Rock
• Star Wars: Episode II – Attack of the Clones

...plus 13 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

tasm2 isn’t good but they really popped off with the suit design

1. Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse
2. Spider-Man 2
3. Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse
4. Spider-Man: Homecoming
5. Spider-Man: No Way Home
6. Spider-Man
7. Spider-Man: Far From Home
8. Spider-Man 3
9. Venom: Let There Be Carnage
10. The Amazing Spider-Man

...plus 3 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

if it has the energy of a horse girl movie then it’s a horse girl movie. and if it has horse girls but doesn’t have the energy it’s still a horse girl movie.

these are ranked by the quality of the horse girl vibes and not the movie as a whole.

1. How to Train Your Dragon 2
2. How to Train Your Dragon
3. Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron
4. Windstorm
5. Windstorm 2
6. The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
7. Nope
8. Racing Stripes
9. Frozen II
10. Tangled

...plus 13 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

favorite films of the 40s in no particular order

full favorites list here

• Casablanca
• Citizen Kane

favorite films of the 50s in no particular order

full favorites list here

• Roman Holiday
• Godzilla
• 12 Angry Men
• Singin' in the Rain

favorite films of the 1900s in no particular order

full favorites list here

• A Trip to the Moon

favorite films of the 60s in no particular order

full favorites list here

• The Graduate
• The Alphabet
• Charade
• The Sound of Music
• Breakfast at Tiffany's
• The Children's Hour
• Planet of the Apes
• 2001: A Space Odyssey
• Early Experiments

favorite films of the 30s in no particular order

full favorites list here

• The Wizard of Oz
• Vampyr

favorite films of the 10s in no particular order

full favorites list here

• Frankenstein

favorite films of the 20s in no particular order

full favorites list here

• The ion of Joan of Arc
• Nosferatu
• Un Chien Andalou

favorite films of the 90s in no particular order

full favorites list here

• Chungking Express
• Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me
• Jurassic Park
• Scream
• Starship Troopers
• The Matrix
• Good Will Hunting
• Toy Story
• The Lion King
• The Nightmare Before Christmas

...plus 26 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

long live the twinks

1. Dune: Part Two
2. Little Women
3. Dune
4. Interstellar
5. Call Me by Your Name
6. Lady Bird
7. A Complete Unknown
8. Bones and All
9. The King
10. Wonka

let the weird man make his weird films in peace

1. The Witch
2. The Lighthouse
3. Nosferatu
4. The Northman

alice is such an iconic scream queen for just sleeping and being vaguely aware of what’s going on around her we love that

1. Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives
2. Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter
3. Friday the 13th Part 2
4. Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood
5. Friday the 13th
6. Freddy vs. Jason
7. Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday
8. Friday the 13th Part III
9. Jason X
10. Friday the 13th

...plus 2 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

it’s insane how much better this is than the friday the 13th series right from the start

• A Nightmare on Elm Street
• New Nightmare
• A Nightmare on Elm Street Part 2: Freddy's Revenge
• A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors
• Freddy vs. Jason
• A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master
• A Nightmare on Elm Street: The Dream Child
• Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare
• A Nightmare on Elm Street

i’m way too into this shared universe for my own good. every one of these movies is connected to another one in some diegetic way.

1. The Princess Switch
2. The Knight Before Christmas
3. Hot Frosty
4. The Princess Switch: Switched Again
5. The Princess Switch 3: Romancing the Star
6. A Christmas Prince

anime was a mistake

1. Kiki's Delivery Service
2. Princess Mononoke
3. Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind
4. The Tale of The Princess Kaguya
5. Spirited Away
6. Howl's Moving Castle
7. Castle in the Sky
8. Ponyo
9. The Boy and the Heron
10. My Neighbor Totoro

...plus 2 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

the domino effect of robert pattinson getting cast in twilight to oppenheimer being made cannot be overstated

1. Oppenheimer
2. Interstellar
3. The Prestige
4. The Dark Knight
5. Inception
6. Dunkirk
7. Batman Begins
8. Tenet
9. The Dark Knight Rises

luca ilysm

1. Challengers
2. Call Me by Your Name
3. Bones and All
4. Queer

mike if you come across this list just know i love your work you’re such an inspiration please ignore some of these star ratings i apologize in advance you’re a 5/5 in my heart

1. The Haunting of Hill House
2. The Haunting of Bly Manor
3. Midnight Mass
4. Doctor Sleep
5. Hush
6. Oculus
7. Oculus: Chapter 3 - The Man with the Plan