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Love me some body horror in my kids movies
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Danny DeVito’s voice coming out of Dwayne Johnson’s body fits really well and I don’t know why
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I will now smolder three times a day randomly to live the Dr. Smolder Bravestone lifestyle
Also shout-out Fridge he’s a real one
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The most dangerous animals of all:
The horribly aged CGI monkeys
Miles Fisher looks too much like Tom Cruise, Patrick Bateman, and Ben Esherick all at the same time, to the point where it scares me.
Also, THAT ENDING! WHAAAAAT!!!!
Movie studios make a good 3D horror movie challenge (impossible)
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Literally me at Alton Towers
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Do you think they listened to ‘watermelon sugar’ on the battlefield
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Thank you BenTenedict Cucumberbatch for starring in another banger
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The best cutscene I’ve ever seen
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The Bloods and the Crips ain't got nothing on the Nightwind and Bloodmoon alpha packs
I want to apologise to my ancestors for the mistakes I make in my movie choices.
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This review may contain spoilers.
Kanye going rabid after finding out Tim had more Nitrous in his body than him
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Best thing about this movie is that Temple Run exists in the Johnny English universe
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Mateo was picking pieces of his brain out like a game of Gooey Louie
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“Jigsaw don’t target cops”
Am I watching the right movie?
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This review may contain spoilers.
Now I know a bunch of people died on that flight, very scary and sad, but you had it coming: you were going to . . Paris specifically. Berlin, Tokyo, Sydney, you would’ve been fine. Paris? Even fate realised where you were going, and wanted them all to kick the bucket.
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This review may contain spoilers.
Ah yes, I the flat-screen TVs in a rural barn in the early 2000’s being a major trend
Let this franchise die just like John I’m sorry
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I don’t trust people who say the original is better than this one
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Where can I get a guy like Q who could just out of nowhere give me a goddamn explosive briefcase
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The only film that I do NOT want to see in 3D ever
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I don't even have any funny one-liners for this movie it's just that good
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Holy hell I knew Rodrick Heffley was a bad brother, but I don’t think he deserves being in a Saw trap!
When is Greg gonna be in one of these he actually deserves it
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Hoo boy this might be controversial. I like this movie, I do, but whoever thinks this is a top 3 animated film of all time might be nostalgia blinded. I’ve read the first two books in the series, and I honestly prefer the first book over this film. We don’t talk about the second book. While this film does introduce great new additions, Astrid was not in the book, and it treats Hiccup like a respectable human being, it does make some unusual changes. Mainly the fact that Toothless in the book is a common Garden dragon. Quite different from the Night Fury. I’m sorry, I also hate how the characters look. They are all horribly rendered, it’s disturbing to see that in a DreamWorks film. But, those are my complaints. I like the detailed lore and story, I love all the designs for the dragons, and the raw emotion is perfect. But, that’s all I can really say. While I do like this movie, it is nowhere near as good as other Dreamworks franchises. I prefer Madagascar’s comedy, Kung Fu Panda’s story, and even Shrek’s characters and their development, over this film. It is a good watch, just pretty overrated.
(Please don’t kill me I have a family)
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Why does Hoffman and Strahm look the exact same, it did not help me at all
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Rigg that headshot on Art Blank was insanely good, you gotta hop on CS:GO
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The best thing to ever come out of Tubi
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This is kinda like Human Centipede if you think about it
Anyways, where the hell is captain underpants 2
I already know that these loser virgin cast of characters would get absolutely DEMOLISHED by the epic chad OG group from 1939
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Moral of the story: if you want a whimsical kids film, treat the actors horribly behind the scenes.
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I’m telling you all: this is cinema.
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I didn’t know Shakespeare was a thug like that
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The hell is Patrick Bateman doing in a forest full of fairies?
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I love how this film thinks it can get away with the most random things. Like the scene where Bond is chatting to Dr No at a dinner table. James has 4 grapes on his plate. 4. Grapes. The hell is he gonna do with 4 grapes?
Anyways this movies pretty mid sorry
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This review may contain spoilers.
Jokes on you Sauvage, the whole of England is a prison anyways!!
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This review may contain spoilers.
John is honestly really brave for having his brain surgery without anaesthetics he should get a sticker and a lollipop or something
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I was entertained
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That business card scene is exactly how me and my friends would show off our Pokémon cards at primary school
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Fine enough movie, but the fact this movie was nominated for Best Picture, with other much better movies like 1917 being nominated, is astounding
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Major props that this movie has two pretty good actors, and then shove them in a bad film. Bravo.
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Xavier gave off major Jack Torrance vibes
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GTA missions but boring
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The best Mr.Beast video
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Shoutout to the one and only Bruce Bogtrotter. He ate that whole cake, and then was able to tell the tale. Certified GOAT
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George Lucas dreams he could do a film like this
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The scariest thing in cinema:
Water
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This review may contain spoilers.
They did my boy Palpatine dirty
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Going into this, you wouldn’t expect any dumb modern humour in any Star Wars movie.
They make a Yo Mama joke. I want to die.
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Whatever you do, do NOT put General Hux’s speech in German. Learnt the hard way.
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God I love those Ewoks so much! I just wanna pick them up, hug them, then dunk them in a hoop like a basketball
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Yoda is the dictionary definition of a homeless man
]]>Every Monkey Movie I have seen ranked!
For context, I’m ranking every movie I have seen that features a monkey. Whether that be a main character, or tiny side character
- Baby's Day Out
- David Attenborough: A Life on Our Planet
- Guillermo del Toro's Pinocchio
- Peter's Computer - Gorilla Video
- The Wizard of Oz
- Jumanji
- Kong: Skull Island
- The Super Mario Bros. Movie
- The Pirates! In an Adventure with Scientists!
- Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
...plus 10 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.
]]>I hate jpegs
- The Shaggy Dog
- Morbius
- The Penthouse
- Hit by Lightning
- The Heat
- One Missed Call
- Cool Cat Saves the Kids
- The Fifth Element
- Going Overboard
- The Fall
...plus 10 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.
]]>I love jpegs
Anyways, movie posters that I think are cool or just go really hard in my opinion
- Shin Godzilla
- The Raid
- Tron
- The Exorcist
- Star Wars
- Batman
- Spider-Man: No Way Home
- Cars 3
- Talk to Me
- The Strangers
...plus 22 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.
]]>Very wacky time
]]>Hello reader, I want to play a game.
Two months ago, you ed a public board game night. In the fourth hour of that night, you didn’t say Uno when you had one card left. That’s not how the rules work. Rules are put in place for people to follow, and to have fun with. You broke that rule. So now, I’m going to break you. Here you see your in the Testical Twister. You have 30 seconds to escape by getting a key out of your stomach, and freeing your balls. Time runs out, and your balls get squished like slime. Good Luck.
]]>Very rare
- Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
- Shrek 2
- Kung Fu Panda 2
- The Empire Strikes Back
- Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
- Sonic the Hedgehog 2
- Finding Dory
- Home Alone 2: Lost in New York
- Saw II
- Paddington 2
...plus 1 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.
]]>Movies that are made for children, but is loved by all ages, universally. This list is here to prove that movies for younger audiences can be cinema.
- Flow
- The Wild Robot
- The Wizard of Oz
- Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse
- Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse
- Spirited Away
- Ratatouille
- Monsters, Inc.
- Finding Nemo
- The Iron Giant
...plus 16 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.
]]>Robbie keep cooking
]]>Because Aardman does make stuff that isn’t Wallace & Gromit. Wild.
]]>Going from a slave on a sand planet to the commander-in-chief of the Galactic Empire is a crazy glow-up
- The Empire Strikes Back
- Star Wars
- Return of the Jedi
- Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith
- Rogue One: A Star Wars Story
- Star Wars: The Force Awakens
- Solo: A Star Wars Story
- Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace
- Star Wars: The Last Jedi
- Star Wars: Episode II – Attack of the Clones
...plus 1 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.
]]>Films that 100% never ever have had sequels that have spat in the face of their respective franchises 😃
- Wreck-It Ralph
- Toy Story 3
- Chicken Run
- Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
- Cars
- The Lego Movie
- Star Wars: The Force Awakens
- X-Men
- Joker
- Megamind
...plus 1 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.
]]>Every time Raj said “oh, my favourite customer!” I cheered
]]>Every move that is based on a Roald Dahl book that I have seen ranked!
]]>Plagiarism! In Hollywood! Never!
- The Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 1
- Oppenheimer
- Dave Not Coming Back
- The Deepest Breath
- Demonlover
- Neon Genesis Evangelion: The End of Evangelion
- Rosemary's Baby
- Totally Killer
- American Psycho
- Dark Phoenix
...plus 16 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.
]]>From 2010 till this year.
- Toy Story 3
- Kung Fu Panda 2
- Wreck-It Ralph
- Monsters University
- The Lego Movie
- Inside Out
- Kung Fu Panda 3
- Coco
- Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse
- Avengers: Endgame
...plus 5 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.
]]>Why do I do this to myself
]]>I've come to make an announcement: Shadow the Hedgehog's a bitch-ass motherfucker, he pissed on my fucking wife. That's right, he took his hedgehog-fuckin' quilly dick out and he pissed on my fucking wife, and he said his dick was "THIS BIG," and I said "that's disgusting," so I'm making a callout post on my Twitter.com: Shadow the Hedgehog, you've got a small dick. It's the size of this walnut except WAY smaller. And guess what? Here's what my dong looks like.
[Explosion sounds] That's right, baby. All points, no quills, no pillows — look at that, it looks like two balls and a bong. He fucked my wife, so guess what, I'm gonna fuck the Earth. That's right, this is what you get: MY SUPER LASER PISS!! Except I'm not gonna piss on the Earth, I'm gonna go higher; I'M PISSING ON THE MOON! How do you like that, Obama?! I PISSED ON THE MOON, YOU IDIOT!
You have twenty-three hours before the piss D R O P L E T S hit the fucking Earth, now get outta my fucking sight, before I piss on you too!
]]>The slowest, but most unfortunate downfall I’ve ever witnessed in an animated franchise
]]>C H E E S E
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