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"You do not me speaking in this manner in the first ant film, brother? Then statistically we can conclude that it is very unlikely that I did speak this way in the first ant film, brother."

“I would have logged Sinners a third time if I could have.”

Feeling sorry for all of you suckers who left Sinners before its third ending (which is waaaaaay better than its 2nd, 4th, and 5th endings).

An egomaniacal media figure using a new interactive technology to amplify violent fantasies in the service of a cultish corporate agenda seeking to police human morality and seize total control of our bodily autonomy stars in this Canadian science-fiction film.

In one of cinema’s more problematic age-gap depictions, a 469-year-old man somehow believes his nobility entitles him to relationships with beautiful young women.

Lots of people are connecting dots between Babygirl and Eyes Wide Shut, but missing its intriguing links to the Beetlejuice universe (e.g. Babygirl first being summoned by saying "Babygirl Babygirl Babygirl").

A farewell to arms.

[Looking in the mirror expectantly, but not without trepidation] Babygirl. Babygirl. Babygirl. Babygirl. [a hesitant pause, and then, with conviction] BABYGIRL.

That’s what I hate about these elementary school girls, man. They turn into grandmas, and I stay the same age.

Failing upwards.

“In America you wish to be called Daddy. 

In post-Soviet Russia, you wish that Daddy never calls you.”

If I'm around decades from now to look back on my career, odds are strong that having world-premiered this film will stand as one of its highlights.

Hey / I just met you / and this is crazy / but my tween's a big fan of your shitty music / so add to your tour an additional matinee concert in downtown Philadelphia with a military level police presence for the sole purpose of stopping me before I kill again maybe?

An amateur videographer shows a middle-aged wife guy new ways to multitask.

"Truly inspiring to be able to come here. Hedwig was a great girl. Hopefully she would have been a belieber."

Fjirst Refjormed

a nice game of don't fuck, don't marry, don't kill

The missing link between Daisies and Girlfriends

Did you enjoy Milos Forman’s masterful cinematic portrait of the seething jealousy that consumed Salieri in the face of the pure genius that was Amadeus? Then you’re going to thrill to the bureaucratic ups and downs over the course of these re-enacted transcripts of 1959 senate confirmation hearings for US secretary of commerce.

Face down, ass up, that’s the way we like to evade motion-detecting lasers.

Sonic-boom team who can recall their past flights.

A hairy old roommate’s farts become so overpowering that Batman can no longer eat lobster.

A child vows to dedicate his life to fighting crime and grows into a costumed vigilante who patrols the skyline of Gotham at night after witnessing his parents lose their bored-ape NFTs to scammers.

This review may contain spoilers.

A cowboy and his nephew-in-law engage in a deadly feud over whose pants have the worst fit.

A recently jilted college sophomore steals a billion-dollar idea from identical twins with a flesh-eating fetish that forever transforms the way humanity foments racial hatred and masturbates to photographs of their exes.

A real beta cuck dies holding the door for his crush.

Want to hear a story about how me and this beach here fell out?

A messy cuck throws himself one last parade.

SMILE is a great movie because it offers connective tissue between Robert Altman’s good movies and Christopher Guest’s good movies, with a little Porky’s thrown in.

Fellas, is it gay to become so deeply embedded in the signaling rituals and garb of the late 1970s New York City leather scene that you subsequently return to your prior heterosexual relationship as a tedious afterthought rather than feeling compelled to do so by consuming desire?

A hairy old man in a loose-fitting robe who subsists on green milk initiates a teenage girl into the cult that left him bitter and alone.

An elderly immigrant takes his ion for produce too far.

A boat that forgot how to use water teaches a jungle the importance of loving opera.

A coffee-loving man with an aww-shucks demeanor and a disarming faith in his country despite intimate knowledge of the dark side of humanity and the horrors that traverse the multiverse arrives in a small and quirky Pacific Northwest community to co-create this acclaimed television drama.

A big boy learns that just because you’re old enough to hold hands with a girl doesn’t mean you have to outgrow your imaginary friends.

Satire. This whimsical tale suggests humanity would resist if an asteroid promising an extinction-level event was headed for Earth.

So I waited with high hopes, and she walked in the place. I knew her smile in an instant—I knew the curve of her face. It was my own lovely lady! She said, "Oh, it's you.” Then we laughed for a moment and I said, "I never knew that you like piña coladas, and—“

Science-Fiction. In a parallel dimension eerily similar to our own, a group of coworkers in the United States are able to maintain personal lives and enjoy leisure time on the income received from a single retail job.

A married couple from the city retreats to a secluded land of talking animals where they learn the true meaning of family.

Did fame, wealth, and power bring me love and happiness? No. But did I at least which closet I put my sled in? Also no.

A peeping tom with terrible taste in beer convinces his loving girlfriend to help him stalk a nightclub singer, driving a wedge between the older singer and her age-appropriate lover -- a loyal, well-dressed man who requires the use of a breathing-assistance apparatus when excited or stressed.

A boy separated from his family in the big city foils a toy-store robbery but fails to prevent the dimwitted racist son of a slumlord from destroying American democracy.

This review may contain spoilers.

A monkey gets so excited with his bone that an astronaut with a shitty computer turns into an adult baby.

One good apple spoils the bunch.

🎶 Ice Cube will swarm / On any muthafucka in a blue uniform / Because we're friends and colleagues, you see / Come ride along with me!

A Jack Nicholson impersonator wreaks havoc at a suburban high school.

some big blue smurfs get they fuck on in space

The greenhouse affect.

Face down, ass tattoo up, this is how Howie likes to push his luck.

This is how I win in the streets; I’ve never resurfaced anything in the sheets.

There was no Claire Denis, and no Paul Blart, but I did see mostly worthwhile films, including these 12 that I'm still thinking about, led by the criminally under-discussed first feature Winter Brothers and the deservedly much-discussed First Reformed.

1. Winter Brothers

   Images worthy of early Bela Tarr or late Tarkovsky, the anarchic energy of Alan Clarke, and a sense of humor akin to recent P. T. Anderson add up to the most impressive debut feature (that isn't Get Out) this year.

2. First Reformed

   Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call Diary of a Country Priest

3. Caniba
4. Of Sheep and Men
5. Zama
6. I Am Not a Witch
7. The Day After
8. Boom for Real: The Late Teenage Years of Jean-Michel Basquiat
9. Mrs. Fang
10. PROTOTYPE

...plus 2 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.