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The bizarre kind of gem I spend my life scraping the bottoms of barrels for. The chase between the...uh, jackal 🤣 and the homeless guy is fucking priceless, made more hilarious by the hypnotic sitar (or whatever) soundtrack and the dejected way jackalman comes back in the house after the guy gets away.

Second Stephen King movie I've seen this year where deaths occur on demand via a magical item. The Monkey had funnier deaths but wasn't much better of a movie.

Also, dear god, the dialog is terrible, especially the teenager. No one talks like that, ever!

Now remake it with haints.

Ya don't see dicks in movies very often, let alone fully erect ones, and let alone on dudes trying to fuck alien-in-a-skinsuit Scarlett Johansson only to find themselves submerged in a black void with a bunch of other dudes where their insides are poured out into a tunnel of meat for no discernible reason. Good lord what a fucked up concept for such a beautiful movie.

2001 Tropes: A Horror Odyssey. About the only thing missing is an exorcism.

Also, it bothered me that the evil psychiatrist referred to exploding bodies as spontaneous combustion. Nothing combusted.

Garbage trash. But I guess the people who slapped this together in 1946 never dreamed that people 80 years later would still be able to watch it and ire how much it sucks.

This has a sequel? But isn't a sequel itself? The first 3 or 4 minutes are narrated and shot in a "in case you missed last week!" style. Ok.

Also...

Wizard to boy: "don't lose this magic ring it's the source of all our power'
Boy: *loses ring 1 second later, it's literally the very next thing he does*

The stop motion is pretty slick, I'll give em that. And I'll also give em that this movie is fucking bonkers in all its evil alien spear-stabbin, gene splicin glory.

Man, I've tried numerous times with this movie. It seems like I should like it. But there always comes a point where something stupid happens and I'm like "ya know what? I'm done." This time I was convinced it was almost over at a certain point but nope, there was 64 minutes left. This one ain't for me.

"Ya like pornos? Give ya a boner" while offering someone a VHS tape (with no case) that you just pulled out of your car's glove compartment is next level sleaze.

Don't know don't care what it means or whatever, just gimme dem siqq visuals.

Ok, so I've warmed up to this a bit since the first time I saw it ("there's a fine line between clever and stupid" was my review) but I still think it could use a bitta editing - let's start with the Club Silencio scene because good god is it embarrassing. 😬

It has an odd, "ABC Sunday Night Movie" vibe to it but overall it's pretty rad. Every alien movie I watch I'm always excited to see what they're gonna make em look like - big fat fucking thumbs down in this movie though, they're just us (or vice versa) 😐.

The handful of OSI movies are way above average atomic age sci-fi imo. It's pre-Gojira so they're not doing the giant monster/bug thing, it's not padded with stock footage, the dialog isn't relentlessly dull and in fact some of the sciencey stuff isn't dumbed down, and the misogyny is kept to a minimum (husband trying to control his pregnant wife's weight). Quality shit if you're into 50s sci-fi.

Made for about $28, filmed in the same pile of dirt as Robot Monster, theremin in the opening titles, the blonde who's a dancer/stripper is so goddamn sexy, and oh my god they really fucking went for it with that mutant costume didn't they.

When that Nazi biker pulls a knife on Kane and lunges at him I swear to God the sound he makes is exactly the way Tie Fighters sound in Star Wars.

Not sure what kinda teenage girls have no less than three posters in their dorm room advertising reading and the joys of going to the library but I guess ya gotta do something in between watching Top Gun and Rocky III in 1987.

1. Jack Seaman, who wrote and produced this Cold War oddball, sounds like a name David Letterman would find in a newspaper clipping in the 90s.

2. The miniatures are charming as fuck.

3. Holy shit, the "playful" misogyny in this one!

I apparently watched this four years ago and called it boring. I don't watching it before (thank you marijuana memory impairment), and I still find it boring, despite a killer opening title sequence - microscope stuff going on in the background, this really cool noisy synthy vaguely jazz fusiony music, the colors are 70s red and yellow, and the title of the movie is in that cool, I dunno, computer font or whatever it's called. It's so perfectly 70s sci-fi.

The best part to me was how Ebony sounded like a genuine relief life bad bitch with how her lines were written and delivered.

The movie as a whole lost me once the demon characters started doing that stupid jerky/sped up way of moving that I guess horror movie directors think looks cool but I just think is goofy.

Mind-gobblingly sick musicianship from the whole band. I have no fucking idea how Peter Gabriel wore all that stuff and acted like he did and recited that spoken word stuff with a straight face, but it's certainly a sight to behold.

Xanadu kicks fucking ass and you're a fun-hating loser if you disagree.

Watching this for a second time - still bonkers, but the strangeness of the dialog stood out to me this time. It's like it was written by an ESL person, or written in another language first and run through a translation service. Still, very entertaining and weird.

Rad as fuck. The animation is kinda minimalist sometimes, and some of it reminded me of the OG Starfox, and the way the characters move is hypnotically odd sometimes. Thick and wavy synths everywhere in the soundtrack. Beautiful and weird.

Ewww, no. Unless you're a diehard Prince fan, don't bother with this one unless you like hurting yourself.

After watching The Kid be a toxic asshole the entire movie, this mf goes and makes me cry when he kisses that girl guitar player onstage during "Purple Rain."

Umm, so this fucking ruled. Like the yacht rock documentary, it's well worth your time even if you don't like this kind of music.

I've seen this movie at least 5 or 6 times. That has to be some kind of loser-y record.

Movies like this are why 2.5 star reviews were invented.

Watching this imo amazing and beautiful movie again after 9 years of the world going insane and insanely stupid at an alarming rate, and yeah - I'm ready any fucking day now for aliens to interrupt our shit and force us to work together.

I've never been a huge Zeppelin fan but even I can see from 60+ years away how fucking cool Jimmy Page was.

Current (friendly) agnostic/atheist but former born again Christian/borderline cult member here (I used to go door to door 😬), so I found most of the diateresting, if nothing new. It's, unfortunately, the movie around it that's kinda lame. Too bad, I really wanted to like this.

Good god. Nepotism, people talking into the camera (if I wanted to have face to face conversations with people I wouldn't be in bed on a Saturday afternoon watching this), and bad acting pretty much all around.

There's one guy interviewed here who thinks the Cornerstone festival wasn't Christian enough, that God writes his songs for him, and overall he comes across pretty insufferable.

Well, in 2004 when this came out, I was a ministerial student at fucking Bob Jones University and would've considered HIM not Christian enough, would've thought that Satan was actually writing his songs for him, and you best believe I was fucking insufferable. 😅

Nice try with the mustache, Luke Skywalker, but we still recognize you in this piece of shit cross between Predator and, I dunno, the Power Rangers or some shit.

I can't believe someone thought this was worth making.

This was fun. I went with the love of my life and her two kids so honestly I wouldn't have given a shit if it sucked.

Excellent movie throughout but goddamn that last scene. 👁️ 🩸 💀

He said California is the place he oughta be so they loaded up the Power Glove and played SMB3.

Ok not exactly but it does rhyme.

In which Ethan Hawke is terrorized via home movies by #6 from Slipknot and several "creepy child in a horror movie giving you a spooky look with head angled slightly down" tropes.

I mean, an origins story was bound to happen, but this one was just ok.

Mainly it brought me back to his first appearance in the first movie - dude walks into the house, hears pig squealing, walks towards this badass room with skulls n shit on the wall, then out of nowhere (no music, no jump scare, no one liners like Freddy) this thing in an apron and mask plays live whack-a-mole with our unfortunate young man, then drags him in and shuts a big steel door.

Like...wut?

Lots of "stuff comin at ya" because 3D. There was one part that I thought was really cool in a subtle way - he chainsaws the tire on their van and they drive away, but they keep the camera just behind Leatherface while he picks up his chainsaw and you see the van drive away, careen out of control, and crash in the distance, and you just know what's next. I dunno, I just liked it.

Sepia toned torture porn. Same vibe as the last one, just less Jessica Biel tank top. Being of the Hostel era, a man gets his legs chainsawed off and they show it.

The part where Leatherface turns around and glares at Jessica Biel so we can see that he's clearly wearing her bf's face is priceless. 🤣

Second best out of the three movies with the exact same title, and by far the most monochromatically shot.

Absolutely bonkers. I was wondering if there'd be a TCM movie that's just fever dream crazy, and this one is it. One of my favorite scenes is when Renee Zellweger jumps out of an upper floor window, nearly falls off the roof, has to dodge bricks that Leatherface is chainsawing off the chimney, climbs up one of those old timey roof TV antennas (?), then jumps like 10 feet off the the antenna onto a power cable or something which she shimmeys along on like Spiderman. See? Bonkers.

A step up from the last one at least, but that's like saying something is a step up from drinking a cup of piss - most things are a step up from that.

I can't not point out how incredibly generic and poorly-produced the original punk music by Dr. C.H.U.D. of the 90s Misfits is. 😶

Oof. I was one of the kids who saw this when it was in theaters. I didn't like it back then and while my tolerance for shitty movies is dramatically higher now, it's still rough watching.

I'm going through all the TCM movies in order right now - are they all gonna be this bad from now on? 😬 I've previously only seen the OG (many times), the Jessica Biel one, and the Netflix one. I'm befuddled at the goofy tone here.

Sweaty. Every frame of this movie is so goddamn sweaty.