4v291o

Eisenberg, McBride AND Fred Ward?!?

And it still falls disappointingly short, and has one of the most abrupt nothing endings I’ve seen in a long time.

*actresses Diane Robin and Adrianne Sachs (“Bitches, leave!”) in attendance, shown as a double feature with Robocop*

*actresses Diane Robin and Adrianne Sachs (“Bitches, leave!”) in attendance, shown as a double feature with The Terminator*

Looney Tunes out here predicting the flaws in A.I. and biometrics decades ahead of the game.

*pre-show for Robocop/The Terminator double feature*

“I have to do this!”

*pisses all over the food*

Mostly dug this one. A pretty solid opening premonition sequence (despite a few instances of really rough CGI) that doesn’t really get topped beyond Tony Todd’s final moment as William Bludworth.

There’s some solid kills in here (the MRI machine is an all timer), but there’s also a lot of characters being really dumb and a few moments where established rules in the canon kinda don’t seem to apply. And for the first time ever we get an unnecessary Rube Goldberg death sequence head fake for some reason.

HAILEE STEINFELD SPITTIN’ IN MOUTHS IN IMAX 70MM, BABY!

This is even better on a second watch. I don’t see how anything is gonna dethrone this as my #1 for the year unless Coogler somehow knocks out and releases a new Wesley Snipes Blade movie before Christmas.

When the action and Satanic shit is happening, this movie fucking rules. But there’s a lot of weird little lulls and comedy beats throughout that frequently detail the pacing, and a very distracting and ill-fitting music cue that’s get used no less than three times.

Boobs, butts, blood, and boobs.

Some smoking hot babes and one of the best dick shots since Robocop.

Watched on Sunday May 11, 2025.

Take any Tim Robinson performance from I Think You Should Leave and then just imagine this movie is that character’s entire life outside of the sloppy steaks and Darmyne Doggy Doors or whatever other ITYSL bit is your favorite, and that’s 100% what this movie is.

With the exception of Don Calfa from The Return Of The Living Dead, this unfortunately is nowhere nearly as good as it should be. Neither of the leads are likable enough to be as terrible as they are, and Terry Kiser’s Bernie (who actually brings some welcome smarm to the proceedings) unfortunately has to be dead to set the story in motion.

What a wholesome damn time and also what a way for me to find out yet another side of Nicole Kidman that awakened something in me. Poach me, Mommy!

What a beautifully shot film. There’s so many iconic images that it’s hard to pick one (though Mitchum’s hatted silhouette through the window and him standing at the porch railing are probably my favorites). I think the scariest thing any movie can do is put children in danger, and this movie does that from start to finish, with Mitchum’s preacher easily pivoting from charming to terrifying on a dime throughout. The last ten minutes feel like they could’ve gone bigger, but that’s truly my only gripe about this gorgeous movie.

There’s some solid practical effects and some cool kills, but ultimately it feels like this adaptation wastes more of the interesting aspects of the game (and reduces several elements from it to Easter eggs) for a time loop horror film that never reaches the fun heights of something like the Happy Death Day films.

Eventually they just skip half the nights so we can watch what happened on a cell phone, which is maybe the least cinematic choice you could make and seems more like a cheap and lazy way to briefly shoehorn in the found footage angle. There’s also a few moments where the characters are just saying the subtext of the film out loud and we get a final confrontation in the form of an exposition dump with zero tension or real satisfying payoff.

It really feels like they had the time loop murder house idea and just slapped it together with an IP to get this made, which is a bummer, because the main actors are all solid and there’s some decent scares and violence. It just never fully gels the way it should.

I could watch this movie a hundred more times before I’m dead in the ground and I still don’t think I could tell you if it’s a good movie or a bad movie. But Jesus Christ, it is definitely a movie.

“Meteor shit!”

“Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe fuck yourself.”

Well-done action and solid performances from Caan, Philippe, and Del Toro, but it gets bogged down in a lot of side character distractions and an unnecessary amount of twists and surprise reveals that ultimately don’t add much.

Super dark and incredibly moving horror film about parenthood and all the terror that comes with it. A terrifying monster and phenomenal lead performance from Krsy Fox, with some great cameos from horror royalty.

*intro and Q&A with writer/director Spider One and actress/producer Krsy Fox*

This movie is just like me*!

*horny and thinks Forrest Gump is a steaming piece of shit

A sleazy cautionary tale for all of us.

If you don’t want your friend to fuck your dad, then maybe Tom Skerritt shouldn’t have been your dad!

Drags a bit more than it should, but Aylmer’s performance and the gross practical effects do a lot of heavy lifting here.

Also a Basketcase cameo!

Johnny Legs v Dick Cheney v Zombies

As someone who often wants to murder a bunch of obnoxious film buffs, I found the villain to be far too relatable.

*pre-show for Sinners*

This movie fucks in every sense of the word. Phenomenal dual performance from MBJ, great violence, amazing music and Ludwig Göransson’s best score ever. Comes in north of two hours but is paced so well I didn’t even feel the runtime. Coogler has turned in one of the best films (not just horror) of the year, and this is already in the running for my best of 2025.

Hailee Steinfeld spits in MBJ’s mouth and a bunch of racists get their asses killed. No notes.

Jellicles-San.

*shown as a 420 kitty themed double feature with Meow*

This movie is fucking nuts and I was exactly as high as I needed to be for it. What a time.

*shown as a 420 kitty themed double feature with Cats On Park Avenue*

Pretty uneven and way too long, but still with some decent scares and a great performance from Pfeiffer.

“Okay, I’m drawing a line in the fucking sand here. Do not read the Latin.”

*shown as a 420 double feature with Dead Man On Campus*

Not without its lulls, but Tom Everett Scott is always so effortlessly likable and Lochlyn Munro is such an agent of chaos that it’s a shame the movie didn’t feature his character a bit more. And what a fucking soundtrack!

*shown as a 420 double feature with The Cabin In The Woods*

Definitely lower tier Wain, but a stupid stacked cast of comedy heavyweights (and plenty of The State alumnus) do a lot of the heavy lifting and still make this a really funny outing.

This is an incredibly dumb (and not even remotely true) premise that is carried almost entirely on the shoulders of its very solid cast of Judd, Jones, and Greenwood. There’s a few solid action sequences throughout, although I think Judd should’ve fought Greenwood like it was the goddamn end of Lethal Weapon.

This movie’s so good that the line “To survive a war, you gotta become war” made it into an old stand-up bit of mine on my second album. The action is great and Stallone is in top form, delivering on the action and with an incredible performance as a soldier who loves the country that won’t love him back. First Blood is still the best Rambo movie, but goddamn this one puts it on notice.

And just . Rambo is always hiding in the mud, right behind you.

Movie 6 of 6 for Mullets & Bullets 80s Action Marathon

Easily my favorite of the evening. Lustig gives us a sleazy and mean as hell Death Wish riff with Robert Forster and Fred Williamson leading the charge. Violent, nasty, and backed by an insane Jay Chattaway score, what a fucking experience.

Movie 5 of 6 for Mullets & Bullets 80s Action Marathon

Kiefer and LDP do a buddy cop movie? Fucking SOLD.

Movie 4 of 6 for Mullets & Bullets 80s Action Marathon

This one was definitely a hard sell for me at first, but a third act chase sequence that went from car to motorcycle to foot with a bunch of insane stunts for such a low budget regional film was so impressive that I couldn’t not be on board by the end.

Movie 3 of 6 for Mullets & Bullets 80s Action Marathon

A slow burn revenge thriller that walks the line between horror, Giallo, and action. Drags in some places, but the third act funhouse showdown is a great finale, and how many times do you get to see Peter Coyote top billed?

Movie 2 of 6 for Mullets & Bullets 80s Action Marathon

Hauer does Zatoichi, and it’s pretty damn solid. Way funnier than I was expecting and a great way to kick off a marathon of 80s action titles. They didn’t have to do my girl Meg Foster so dirty though.

Movie 1 of 6 for Mullets & Bullets 80s Action Marathon

An all-timer comedic performance from Kilmer and another notch in the belt of Atherton as an authoritarian dick role.

The introduction of Sho’Nuff is one of the best villain intros of all time. What a goddamn time.

Pretty impressive debut from Flanagan, who seems to have done alright for himself since this. It’s simultaneously hobbled by its low budget limitations, but also manages to use that to its advantage with some great minimalist camerawork and tension building.

Takes a little longer to get to the good stuff than it should and there’s a lot of standing around talking that isn’t particularly interesting, but goddamn does the movie pick up that slack once it gets to the nasty little ghoul creatures and some solid practical creature effects.

A first time watch and it didn’t disappoint. Funny as hell with top notch comedic performances all around, but my biggest takeaway is that George C. Scott’s General Turgidson feels like a Tim Robinson character.

After seeing Martin Landau being absolutely unhinged in clips during Terror In The Aisles, this one flew to the top of my watchlist and I wasn’t disappointed. Palance, Landau, and Pleasence all get different opportunities to be a surprising variety of psychotic in an unevenly paced but still enjoyable siege/home invasion movie.

Also, someone completely dropped the ball because Landau should’ve been shortlisted to play The Joker in something, anything, after his performance here.

A weird little anthology with Oakland as a running through line that features weird cosmic magic shit and Nazis getting their asses handed to them.

If Donald Pleasence talked this much at a movie I was in, I’d beat his ass. If Nancy Allen talked, I’d roll up to her and profess my undying love for her.

Lots of great movies on display throughout, and it put some cool stuff on my radar.

Never hits the highs it should considering its fantastic leads, but the animal acting alone between the raccoon family and Bart The Bear’s rampage in the final act are worth the price of ission alone.

Also this movie reaffirms what we’ve always known, and that’s that John Candy FUCKS.

Not a particularly good movie, but more of an interesting wreck of a film. The necessary ADR makes the actors’ performances all the more stilted, and the dude meant to be the heroic lead is a black hole of charisma. There’s at least some cool deaths, like when a dude gets “Freak On A Leashed” by a bullet (if he’d just Jonathan Davis scatted he’d still be alive today), and the villain is honestly the best part of the movie. It’s just a shame that he doesn’t really show up until the last ten minutes.

Also this movie opens with a dude throwing himself through a window, so it at least knows what I’m all about.

1. Final Destination 3
2. Final Destination
3. Final Destination 2
4. Final Destination Bloodlines
5. Final Destination 5
6. The Final Destination

Each FD film ranked on their opening premonition sequence

1. Final Destination 2
2. Final Destination 3
3. Final Destination Bloodlines
4. Final Destination 5
5. Final Destination
6. The Final Destination

1. Mission: Impossible – Fallout
2. Mission: Impossible – Rogue Nation
3. Mission: Impossible
4. Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol
5. Mission: Impossible – Dead Reckoning
6. Mission: Impossible III
7. Mission: Impossible II

My favorite movies of 2024

1. The Fall Guy
2. The Substance
3. Abigail
4. Dune: Part Two
5. Love Lies Bleeding
6. Rebel Ridge
7. Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga
8. The Last Stop in Yuma County
9. Anora
10. Challengers

My favorite horror movies of 2024

1. The Substance
2. Abigail
3. Longlegs
4. Immaculate
5. Strange Darling
6. MaXXXine
7. Frankie Freako
8. V/H/S/Beyond
9. A Quiet Place: Day One
10. Late Night with the Devil

1. Borderlands
2. The Crow
3. Red One
4. Night Swim
5. Imaginary
6. Trap
7. Venom: The Last Dance
8. Jackpot!
9. Argylle
10. Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire

• Bad Santa
• Go
• Bad Santa 2
• Gremlins
• Don't Open Till Christmas
• Winterbeast
• A Very Sunny Christmas
• The Night Before Christmas
• Black Christmas
• Silent Night, Deadly Night

...plus 26 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

Favorite movies that I watched for the first time ever in 2024

1. Phenomena
2. Blow Out
3. WNUF Halloween Special
4. Out There Halloween Mega Tape
5. Maniac Cop 2
6. Red Rock West
7. The Social Network
8. Carrie
9. Deep Red
10. Southern Comfort

...plus 10 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

• WNUF Halloween Special
• Out There Halloween Mega Tape
• Slither
• The Evil Dead
• Demons
• From Dusk Till Dawn
• V/H/S/Beyond
• FearDotCom
• The Cabin in the Woods
• Mad God

...plus 29 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

1. Alien
2. Predator
3. Aliens
4. Predators
5. Prey
6. Predator 2
7. AVP: Alien vs. Predator
8. Alien Resurrection
9. Alien: Romulus
10. Aliens vs Predator: Requiem

...plus 4 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

1. Alien
2. Aliens
3. AVP: Alien vs. Predator
4. Alien Resurrection
5. Alien: Romulus
6. Aliens vs Predator: Requiem
7. Alien: Covenant
8. Alien³
9. Prometheus

1. The Fall Guy
2. Longlegs
3. Abigail
4. Dune: Part Two
5. Love Lies Bleeding
6. Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga
7. MaXXXine
8. Lisa Frankenstein
9. Monkey Man
10. Destroy All Neighbors

1. The Fate of the Furious
2. Fast Five
3. Fast & Furious 6
4. Furious 7
5. Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw
6. Fast X
7. The Fast and the Furious
8. F9
9. Fast & Furious
10. 2 Fast 2 Furious

...plus 1 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

1. Leprechaun 3
2. Leprechaun Returns
3. Leprechaun: Back 2 tha Hood
4. Leprechaun in the Hood
5. Leprechaun 2
6. Leprechaun
7. Leprechaun 4: In Space
8. Leprechaun: Origins

1. Incident On and Off a Mountain Road
2. The Black Cat
3. Imprint
4. Dreams in the Witch House
5. Haeckel's Tale
6. Cigarette Burns
7. Sick Girl
8. Homecoming
9. Pelts
10. Jenifer

...plus 16 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

My 10 best theatrical viewing experiences of 2023

1. RRR
2. Jaws
3. In the Mouth of Madness
4. Blade II
5. Near Dark
6. The New Kids
7. The Thing
8. Gremlins 2: The New Batch
9. Thanksgiving
10. House of 1000 Corpses

My 10 favorite releases of 2023

1. John Wick: Chapter 4
2. Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse
3. Godzilla Minus One
4. Barbie
5. Poor Things
6. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem
7. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3
8. A Disturbance in the Force: How the Star Wars Holiday Special Happened
9. Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves
10. Mission: Impossible – Dead Reckoning

My 11 favorite horror movies of 2023

1. Godzilla Minus One
2. Satanic Hispanics
3. Evil Dead Rise
4. V/H/S/85
5. Onyx the Fortuitous and the Talisman of Souls
6. Scream VI
7. Saw X
8. Talk to Me
9. Suitable Flesh
10. Outpost

...plus 1 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

• Mom's Got a Date with a Vampire
• Halloween
• Saw X
• The Craft
• Demons
• American Psycho
• The New Kids
• The Return of the Vampire
• Komodo
• The Severed Arm

...plus 59 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

1. Saw
2. Saw X
3. Saw II
4. Saw III
5. Saw VI
6. Saw IV
7. Saw V
8. Jigsaw
9. Saw 3D
10. Spiral: From the Book of Saw

1. Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
2. Raiders of the Lost Ark
3. Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
4. Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny
5. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

1. Predator
2. Predators
3. Prey
4. Predator 2
5. AVP: Alien vs. Predator
6. Aliens vs Predator: Requiem
7. The Predator

All the Evil Deads, but, you know…ranked.

• Evil Dead II
• Army of Darkness
• Evil Dead Rise
• Evil Dead
• The Evil Dead

My ranking of the Rocky/Creed franchise

1. Rocky
2. Creed
3. Rocky II
4. Creed III
5. Rocky Balboa
6. Rocky III
7. Creed II
8. Rocky IV
9. Rocky V

My ranking of the Scream franchise

1. Scream
2. Scream 2
3. Scream
4. Scream VI
5. Scream 3
6. Scream 4

My 10 favorite horror movies of 2022 (plus one)

1. Nope
2. X
3. Christmas Bloody Christmas
4. The Black Phone
5. The Apology
6. Prey
7. Scream
8. Pearl
9. Barbarian
10. A Wounded Fawn

...plus 1 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

The 10 best movies I saw in 2022

1. Nope
2. Everything Everywhere All at Once
3. The Northman
4. The Menu
5. X
6. Glass Onion
7. The Batman
8. Christmas Bloody Christmas
9. Violent Night
10. Barbarian

The 10 best movies that I watched for the first time in 2022

• The Man Who Came to Dinner
• The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2
• Eyes Wide Shut
• Elf
• Overlord
• Judgment Night
• The Invitation
• Rio Bravo
• Silent Night, Deadly Night
• El Camino: A Breaking Bad Movie

1. The Thing
2. Jaws
3. RoboCop
4. Halloween
5. The Big Lebowski
6. From Dusk Till Dawn
7. An American Werewolf in London
8. Die Hard
9. There Will Be Blood
10. Boogie Nights

1. Halloween
2. Halloween III: Season of the Witch
3. Halloween
4. Halloween H20: 20 Years Later
5. Halloween Kills
6. Halloween II
7. Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers
8. Halloween Ends
9. Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers
10. Halloween: Resurrection

...plus 3 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

The 11 Worst Movies I Saw In 2021

• Chaos Walking
• Spiral: From the Book of Saw
• House of Gucci
• The Card Counter
• Old
• Army of the Dead
• Red Notice
• Titane
• The Many Saints of Newark
• Reminiscence

...plus 1 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

My Top 10 Movies For 2021

1. Pig
2. Werewolves Within
3. Don't Breathe 2
4. The Suicide Squad
5. Candyman
6. Copshop
7. Dune
8. Spider-Man: No Way Home
9. Last Night in Soho
10. The King's Man

My definitive ranking of the best entries in the Friday The 13th Franchise.

1. Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter
2. Friday the 13th Part 2
3. Friday the 13th Part III
4. Friday the 13th
5. Jason X
6. Freddy vs. Jason
7. Friday the 13th
8. Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives
9. Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood
10. Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan

...plus 2 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.