I just wanted to watch a stupid movie about a lil wooden boy and now I’m crying about the fragility of life while Ewan McCricket performs a number that he’s been trying to do the entire movie but kept hilariously getting interrupted??? WTF 😭😭

also yes, I would like to smash the cricket and not in the way you’d normally smash bugs oop- 🫢

gagged when Jenna Ortega gagged and gagged that old man into a heart attack 🤭

also that gator scene at the beginning genuinely made me curl up into a ball and hide my feet like??? fuck gators, fuck old horny white people, and fuck me pls Kid Cudi? thanks 😌

many things wrong with the plot but I’m dead serious when I say all of this could’ve been resolved if Wanda just got pregnantsksk like you’re telling me you can conjure up an entire apple orchard but can’t make up two lil snot nosed brats? 🧐

feeling very petty that they didn’t name this 5cream 🐸

also I cannot get over Melissa Barrera’s acting 😭… looking bored af the entire timejsjs

OOOO more horror movies where the main character actually gets a bad ending for all the dumb shit they did, I LOVE IT GIMME MORE MUWAHHAHA 😈😈

nah but I do feel pretty bad for Mia tho 😓 she was grieving, everyone was upset with her, and she didn’t know she was on demon time, so it’s a shame but worth it for that gut punch of an ending 🤧 and as a horror movie this shit was really well executed especially for being the first feature length film of these random youtubers (I’ve never heard of them so don’t come for me 🏃🏻‍♂️💨)??? crazy 😵‍💫

the music? iconic outfits? actors with effortless chemistry? revenge plot?? Sarah Michelle Gellar??? PAINT THROWING???? THEY PULLED OFF THE VIBE OF A 90s/ 00s TEEN DRAMEDY IN 2022!! 🔊 I REPEAT, THEY PULLED OFF THE VIBE OF A 90s/ 00s TEEN DRAMEDY IN 2022!! 🔊

I think Mr. Robot did it better 👀… BUT I LOVE STEVEN GRANT AND HIS GENTLEMANLY TUXEDO VERSION OF THE SUIT 🥹❤️

oh these bitches better win tomorrow-

update: this aged well 😌

accurate representation of when my amazon delivery guy sees me getting my package 💀

The Relatabelmans 😪

they should’ve just titled this “Don’t” 💀