4v291o

you think you’re loki? huh? you think you’re baron samedi? 
the devil rides out for this century. if we lived in a better world where more people saw awesome movies the ant would be a classic staple of the sexyman taxonomy. nic cage and the ant or slime bag and the preacher of bloodrayne 2 fame? charlie’s friendly moustache rob him of it and the world ends
who the hell do you think you are? anubis?

one of those situations (and i’ve been in many) where if you survive it’s going to be the funniest thing ever

got a bit borrasca as it ambled weakly on. wish there’d been an escape room or something. but of course i’d say that

thom yorke when asked if a film can play his song after extensively discussing the plagiarism lawsuit and eventual settlement concerning said song; yeah sure why not :)
thom yorke when asked to have a fucking spine and not play in israel: 😮

stop motion is the only medium that can accurately replicate the experience of childhood surgery. cheers mum’s crying 👍

ramy youssef has beautiful eyes

this is officially the 500th review of this film on this site so i shall use it to say that the ringmaster is sexy in a way that makes me feel like a vulnerable gay man. let’s get these numbers up!

i’d handle this much MUCH better. on some levels i mean that lasciviously

that was AMAZING after that ended i got to my feet and stood on the sofa and clapped and laughed and shrieked until i was nearly sick!! what a WONDERFUL film!!! i love the ant i love nic cage film ends with a fancam of them! fucking hell. i dont know what to say. when i was a child i saw billy elliot in london and afterwards i was so full of power and energy i tried to run up the wall of a tube station and sprained my ankle. this made me feel like that. ah carnt reelly explayn it. ah haven’t got the wORds. patrick lussier two for two on ultrabelters

i think he knows be looks cool factually but is unmoved emotionally by the knowledge 

the on fire tv shot reverse shot is the funniest thing i have ever seen

whole film i thought his name was rhys. when she asked his first name i felt like obama. he is like edward cullen: it only takes him once

produced by LAWRENCE GORDON????? 

jerry moaning compilation. nooooooo!!

kurt russell has a face i hate so much i want it scraped off the bone and cast aside but lowkey he’s built like a woman in those chunky waisted cargos and tight top why does he have breasts for decades and centuries. this is pretty much pish though. it’s no kin dza dza! pre 9/11 popcorn sci-fi was bleedin obsessed with deserts and orientalism. nowt says aliens like women wearing veils am i right. i think i might be evil. omg hold on i have to look at pictures of jaye davidson now. sooooo pretty

i’m scared if i was honest about how i felt about this it’d ruin my chances of being cronenberg’s next viggo mortensen so i’m going to play by bambi rules and keep my pretty little mouth shut lest some bloke slap me for being hysterical

shout out to the old man i tried to buy this dvd off. he gave it to me for free (+ tourist trap and haxan) because i let him talk to me for two and a half hours. he runs a physical media shop mostly specialising in CDs in the only area of glasgow the C have declared safe for chinese international students to live. he told me his dream is that one day a chinese student will walk in with a CD of their own tunes and say “THIS is the future of music”. every day i wish for him that this will come true

from the dvd cover i thought this was either going to be the best film ever or the worst but actually it was just ok. i forgot about that option! 

makes sense this was a frightfest screener. after the vampire with dementia film at dead northern i dont think i can be surprised by any timey wimey festival horror bollocks ever ever again

appreciate they retained their fashion sense in The Past. so glad we got an origin story for their bird skull necklaces i always wondered if a mystical old indigenous woman gave them to them

i really enjoyed this it was very very beautiful i want to live in norway so much now. i really really fucked with the cool old guy already and then he said he likes pylons and thinks they’re pretty omg i could kiss him. his little glasses are u joking smash. why did we only ever get two matter of fact supernatural found footage/mockumentaries theyre very fun. i love lore. ive been struggling to fall asleep lately well my whole life lol but lately my going to sleep ritual has been videos a nice swedish man reads ss and this had a very similar vibe and no i’m not just being scandi blind. i have to learn how to do a generic scandinavian accent to work a christmas shift in the north pole

nice try losers but they already made “the x files if it was shite”. it was called the x files and it fucking ruled!! 

i want to give it more points for its awesome outro but actually it didnt earn it and ive decided im quite offended. stolen valour

second christmas of the may night. creepypasta movie. ray wise bad father typecast starting to feel a little cruel

not the season but wherever you find love it feels like christmas. excited to meet you mr future

Incoming call from….

                                       HEEN

PICK UP?                                                       DECLINE?

good watch with my smallest brother. wherever we are we are on each other’s team. boom pow explosions
Something is up with stephen chow’s sexuality though sorry. some kind of pervert. not a bad thing just interesting

lot of gay hotel staff in this one

and youre singing the songs thinking this is the life

i’m the best cocksuckin gunslingin vampire in the whole here united goddman states of america

doomed yaoi someone more online than me make an edit of slimebag and the preacher please

jesus mike flanagan has a type. 
such a cool premise i hate it had to be wrapped up in stupid nonsense i don’t care about. i cannot believe this film isn’t australian it looks so australian my brain kept trying to replace the accents but that’s probably because it looks too low-budget to be american and too hot to be british. 
doug jones is soooooo pretty 
i will sell this dvd to clear the way for moving but i’m glad i watched it before i sold it 
if this happened in the clyde tunnel we’d be boned because it’s already infinite 
the lovers the dreamers and me 
ok i’m going to watch marble hornets now this set off the marble hornets cravings and my body is cramping up i have to See the marble hornets tunnel bye!!

i’m going to miss my lady pig, bear, chicken, dog, and thing, whatever gonzo is. but i can see them whenever i dream. what’s on the other side?

this sucks so badly but maybe it’s just because i feel sick as a dog. oh my god i feel so awful. what is wrong with me. either way i’m selling this dvd

my lost boys day i explored abandoned religious buildings with my strange gay friends and met lots of colourful characters along the way

this is suuuuuch a fantastic take on peter pan i’m so happy i decided to engage with it like that today because YEAH! we SHOULD kill peter pan! so perfectly tastefully done if they made this today they’d have done a blood and honey (no rynn NOT blood and chocolate) style thing where it was neverland with vampires and NO! this was better. really respect the restraint to not call max pete or one of the brothers john (i know we had a michael and a star blah blah whatever close and classy enough to not matter). just good work all round. joel schumacher has had sex with 20,000 men

this was written by a geordie waheyyyy 

neeeeed to be so infamously nebby the pope pre-humously decides i have to be in charge of weeding out the wronguns at his conclave

arrebato arrebato arrebato

binema. it’s been three bitter years. goodnight movies

tomorrow everything changes

i’ll love anything with a great soundtrack and a sufficient appreciation of industrial nature. when i go to the shops i have to pretend i’m in 964 pinnochio or i’ll die. good to understand that’s what i’ve been doing all along

glasgow needs to declare a “rat emergency”

i smile so fondly when i see pinhead he’s like a sexy old friend who’s sexy and i love him

catch you later horror soc <3

saw it on instagram. need to clean my room

stroking the dog’s not really a job is it pal

are you like mr bungle? mr bungle is ashamed

last time i saw this i was so gone all i is saying out loud “this is so good” and “lana del rey” and i ed her walking down some stairs. i was right this is so good! lana del rey!

i love films with violence and gore and stuff but the second a woman gets acid attacked in the face i get really pissed off

films that make rynn smoke

may well be the worst film i’ve ever seen

billmo i love you and how you follow us on instagram and all but your baby blues are too blue

i knew this would make me too crazy today but i risked it anyway because my friend wanted to watch it and when it ended i felt so sick that i had to detour my walk home to run into the uni library toilets to be sick and when i tried to flush it the handle snapped clean off in my hand

what was going on with the possibly-fake irish man. was he written in the script as faking an irish accent or was the “phony irish accent” line just the dub actors razzin each other a la ghost stories. i suppose i’ll never know that or why she suddenly did sick and it was yellow

love! all over this lo-fi business. ittedly missed the first like half hour due to the final academia ever, but i got the audio. rest ripped. well i don’t think i’ll tell you now

today i adopted my former co-worker, a life-size murder-victim mannequin. as far as i’m aware this is the first film she has ever seen. plenty more where that came from diva
that sinister child that keeps popping up in these films: 👁️  👁️

they will never top the massive cross-cut screaming at the end of this film it fills me with so much power i had to spend over 5 hours illuminating my protest signage or i’d never be able to sleep again. hoffman is the riverdale of movies. i don’t know why this was my immediate go-to thinking about trans rights fillum but make of that what you will

shazaming the SOV soundtrack and reading the wikipedia article for the coffin texts… it’s nights like these i give in to the sinister whispers that tell me my phone might not be evil

i have just experienced things

mcbabamario
the chorus: mcbabamario

michael berryman and lesbian lady my favourite couple
i hope my local community cinema is prepare for when i start hassling them and i make them do a double bill of this and legend of the stardust brothers

elaine should be a GOFF never seen such wasted bone structure

im at the COAST im at the COAST im at the most special place and i have to watch my special coast movies 

nothing like it for the roar of the ocean. can see four lighthouses from my window. thinking about everyone manning the farnes tonight. went down to the beach at midnight and saw the moon reflected in the wet sands and screamed and sang and made sounds. thought about fergus hulme’s sandwalker. when we went there in the day we found enormous gnarled and many-layered oyster shells, the likes of which i’ve never seen on my beach before. found a bone i’m tentatively naming a sheep’s tibia and another i’ve decided is probably a gull’s metacarpal. bad luck to kill a seabird. thank you for your gifts, my friend the sea. now i can sleep to your song 

good to watch with your friend who escaped out of william morris’s mind for the moment in which she cracks and shouts “oh it’s all gone too far!” forgot how much this is such a genuinely amazing film until i watched it with someone else. i cannot fathom how a24 and robert eggers accomplished this when i’ve hated like everything else they’ve made

should start keeping track

plus:
• scaremeister: dirges, drones and disturbed
• limmy’s show season 1 
• merlin series one and two
• mighty boosh seasons 1-3
• an aileen wuornos documentary (serial killers: damsel of death)

• Akira
• The Battle of Algiers
• Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey
• Black Swan
• Boiling Point
• Bound
• The Brides of Dracula
• Captain Clegg
• Cléo from 5 to 7
• The Colour of Magic

...plus 96 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

• The Room
• The Lair of the White Worm
• Return to Oz
• The Devils
• The Fall
• The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
• Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me
• Beauty and the Beast

mostly shorts. some longer things if they are free without having to for any sort of and the right atmosphere. everything on youtube unless listed below 

bfi player:
• whistle and i’ll come to you! (1956)
• apaches (1977)

rarefilmm:
• deváté srdce/the ninth heart (1979)
• panna a netvor/beauty and the beast (1979)

dailymotion:
• rehearsals for extinct anatomies (1987)
• the signalman (1976)
• the ossuary (1970)

internet archive:
• guinea pig 2: flower of flesh and blood (1985)
• kwaidan (1964)
• noblesse oblige (1989) 

tiktok:
• the dream (1988)

not on letterboxd:
• limmy’s show: wake up - m.youtube.com/watch?v=RAQlB7ggvl8
• sock 3: 10 different types of soup
• beasts - treatsforbeasts
• to dust - nightmares (robert morgan)
• they have changed their faces (robert morgan)
• you are on the fastest available route (local58 tv)
• mesaverdevideos - m.youtube.com/@MesaVerdeVideos 
• christopher eccleston impression: (in joker make-up) < m.youtube.com/watch?v=qyyoXVRFNJw >

• Keep Your Mouth Shut
• The Seventh Seal
• Stille Nacht IV: Can't Go Wrong Without You

  https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=umLM7U857zU

• Absurda
• Darkness, Light, Darkness
• Kwaidan
• Stille Nacht II: Are We Still Married?

  https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=G9uf25wHhs0

• Down to the Cellar
• The Pit, the Pendulum and Hope
• Stille Nacht III: Tales from Vienna Woods

  https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=9f3p7qspkMA

...plus 122 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

• Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey
• Penda's Fen
• The Lair of the White Worm
• Ghostwatch
• The Black Tower
• Twin Peaks: The Return

  idk if i actually count this as a film but it’s too fantastic not to be here

• The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2
• The Legend of Hell House
• Re-Animator
• Cemetery Man

...plus 32 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

to watch with renae, a one-armed murdered mannequin. all include mannequins, waxworks, dolls, puppets, scarecrows etc in a capacity i consider significant, save kamikaze girls, which i just think she’d fuck with

• Pin
• Tourist Trap
• Waxwork
• House of Wax
• Club of the Laid Off
• Rubber
• Oddity
• In Fabric
• Crystal Eyes
• My House Walk-Through

...plus 27 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

for some reason in 2023 i’m tasking myself to watch lynch’s whole filmography cos that’s my man. just making this to track my progress

includes all films, tv, shorts, web series, and music videos for his own compositions. excludes commercials, music videos for other artists, and acting/producing etc roles

not on letterboxd
• on the air (tv show)
• today’s number is (web series - just going to watch a few of these and see what happens!)
• weather report (web series - i’m going to watch a few of these then tick it off!)
• crazy clown time (music video - available on youtube at m.youtube.com/watch?v=caWXt9lCVrc) ☑️
• i have a radio (music video - available on youtube at m.youtube.com/watch?v=DZ-aSL0WMEM) ☑️
• ball of bees #1 (short film - available on youtube at m.youtube.com/watch?v=54l7GRBw5hg) ☑️
• the disc of sorrow is installed (short film - available on youtube at m.youtube.com/watch?v=IA8_mtFx7PM)☑️
• scene from a david lynch project (short film - available on youtube at m.youtube.com/watch?v=VJwtkaKUFyI)☑️
• this video of david lynch is not what it seems (short film - available on youtube at m.youtube.com/watch?v=5NfKZiV7sMI)☑️
• the story of a small bug (short film - available on youtube at m.youtube.com/watch?v=5fvejLDSZYQ)☑️
• the adventures of alan r (short film - available on youtube at m.youtube.com/watch?v=bTNtvPn3KJ4)☑️
• the spider and the bee (short film - available on youtube at m.youtube.com/watch?v=O8jI5T-SvTk)☑️
• how was your day honey? (short film - available on youtube at m.youtube.com/watch?v=Ggz_oXPjfhg)☑️
• the mystery of the seeing hand (short film - available on youtube at m.youtube.com/watch?v=eV8B7u_rg)☑️
• peace (tribute to angelo - available on lynch’s youtube at m.youtube.com/watch?v=0GkMDZMQp54)☑️

• honourable mention: lynch and his woodpeckers aka “the boys” - m.youtube.com/watch?v=lrE9PHsbCXA&list=PLEovvNKWKU0um3lPJ0uL_BIvdU8XumyUv☑️

• Eraserhead

  available on: dvd

• The Elephant Man

  not available to me anywhere atm!

• Dune

  available on: all4

• Blue Velvet

  available on: dvd or at gft
  
  half-watched (scared the shit out of me) 

• Wild at Heart

  available on: prime

• Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me

  available on: dvd

• Lost Highway

  not available to me anywhere atm! 

• The Straight Story

  available on: all4

• Mulholland Drive

  available on: all4 or dvd

• Inland Empire

  available on: dvd

...plus 46 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

• Spellcaster
• Savage Hunt of King Stakh
• Dracula, Prisoner of Frankenstein
• Netherworld
• Don't Go in the Woods
• The Castle of the Living Dead
• Premutos: The Fallen Angel
• The Unnamable
• The Night Visitor
• Beyond the Seventh Door

...plus 63 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

• The Case of the Smiling Stiffs
• Necropolis
• The Keep
• Lost Prophet
• Demons
• Devil Doll
• Shock! Shock! Shock!
• The Damned House of Hajn
• The Tell-Tale Heart
• Lake of the Dead

...plus 63 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

slommy movies

• Re-Animator
• Bride of Re-Animator
• Nekromantik 2
• Beavis and Butt-Head Do America
• Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey
• Fade to Black
• Cemetery Man
• Guinea Pig Part 2: Flower of Flesh and Blood
• Guinea Pig Part 5: Android of Notre Dame
• Freaked

...plus 33 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

• Magic Cop
• Beauty and the Beast
• The Damned House of Hajn
• The Clown at Midnight
• Dr. Phibes Rises Again
• Ghoulies II
• Ghoulies III: Ghoulies Go to College
• Ghoulies IV
• Sugar Hill
• Dracula's Angel

...plus 56 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

• Saint
• To All a Goodnight
• Dead End
• A Christmas Tale
• Night of the Dark Full Moon
• Inside
• Adult Swim Yule Log
• Demonic Toys
• Stalled
• The Oracle

...plus 26 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

• Les Bêtes
• The Vourdalak

• The Seventh Seal
• The Exorcist
• The Exorcist III
• Smokey and the Bandit Part 3
• Butch and Sundance: The Early Days

films that understand that the humming of the wires is prayer

• Ant Head
• The Black Tower
• Play Safe
• Penda's Fen
• A Journey to Avebury
• Howling VI: The Freaks
• Mad Max: Fury Road

links in notes. 

there are many more christmas horror shorts everywhere but these are the ones that i didn’t hate because most of them are fucking terrible

not on letterboxd:
• x files season 6 episode 6: how the ghosts stole christmas

• Treevenge

  no other word for this than GONZO. essential viewing for christmas horror fans
  
  https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=jAinT-kieFI

• Ghoul Log

  absolutely beautiful sinister stop motion. think svankmajer meets quays by way of robert morgan

  
  

  this one not on the tube. full of lies tonight. on vimeo or the glass eye pix creepy christmas film festival page 🎄👁️

  https://www.creepychristmasfest.com/christinepfisterbio

• Satan Claus

  gorgeously stupid. don’t bother w santa claus vs the devil when this exists 
  
  https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=9eD5eD7-g4g

• The Mistletoe Bough

  deliciously chilling 1904 haunt. 

  
  https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Io1HkQ2hNA8

• The Insects' Christmas

  ominous 1910s russian dead insect stop motion 

  
  https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=UcDlWn1jQPc

• A Christmas Carol in Gore: Being a Butcher's Story of Christmas

  some boys having fun
  
  https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=P9hRoLAQO74 or also on prime for free 

• Rare Exports Inc.

  brilliant mockumentary and proof of concept short for rare exports: a christmas tale (2010)
  
  https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=JwRZi5eEQiU

• The Official Rare Exports Inc. Safety Instructions 2005

  this is so silly! second proof of concept short for rare exports: a christmas tale (2010) 
  
  https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=uMqMN9Bo0IE

• All Wrapped Up

  everything should look like this again
  https://www.creepychristmasfest.com/copy-of-december-3

• Twelve Days of Black Mass

  shapes and colours
  
  https://www.creepychristmasfest.com/copy-of-december-15

...plus 4 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

the offcuts, rejects, and brought-back-up slop from my highly-curated horror advent calendar. may one day be useful…

• Silent Night, Deadly Night

  reason excluded: miserable misogynist slunge

• The Gingerdead Man

  reason excluded: egregious

• The American Scream

  reason excluded: i found it too difficult to understand if i enjoyed this 

• The Curse of the Cat People

  reason excluded: strange and sort of a sequel

• Ghostkeeper

  reason excluded: gorgeous and warm but no mention of christmas and i had a Lot of material to work with

• The Minion

  reason excluded: well it’s just not very good is it 

• X-Mess Detritus

  reason excluded: a sad imitation of burton. and i don’t like burton. it wouldn’t do to be seen even knowing about this tragic excuse for a seasonal chill 

• Santa Claus

  reason excluded: well it’s just horribly bad. and also opens with a racism montage

• I Trapped the Devil

  reason excluded: i am a vocal hater of elevation and this didn’t even have the budget to do it well

• The Lodge

  reason excluded: annoying and boring. stop trying to be deep

...plus 6 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.