4v291o

It's that time again, Movie. I'm gonna need you to sit down. Go on, don't be frightened. I don't bite...often.
There there. Good.

Okay, so...I know papa Blum should be having this conversation with you, but we all know he went out to buy a pack of cigarettes. What's that? It's been years? Right, right.
Well... That's a conversation for another day. Right now we have bigger fish to fry. No, Movie, we're not having fish for dinner. Can you just calm down and listen?

Okay. I don't know how to put this...
But you're not adopted.
NO! Don't cry!

I know you thought you really belonged to the A24 home. I also know you thought they left you at the doorstep, because they were too young. That they didn't know what they were doing. That it wasn't really their fault and that one day they will come back for you. I know you bragged to all your siblings and made them feel bad, because deep down you felt insecure.
I know. I know, because you were very annoying about it. You were being a little bratty shit if we're honest, but that's another conversation for a different day.

Unfortunately, fact is, you tried being something that you aren't, and you came off as boring and pretentious. Because that's what you thought you had to be.
You thought you were being very clever too. Nobody likes a smart ass, Movie.

But you were born in the house of Blum and you will die in the house of Blum. The sooner you come to with that, the better you'll feel. And hey! It used to be a great house once upon a time! Nothing to be ashamed about! Granted, you weren't born then yet.
It has fallen to disrepair, I am aware. But we hope. We still hope.

Now run along, go play with your brothers. I think Halloween Kills is in the backyard.
What? You hate Halloween Kills? We all do, Movie. We all do.

🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾

Fido score: What a surprise. Another horror family that doesn't care about their dog at all ૮ >ﻌ< ა
They tell us at the very end: Hey! Turns out, he didn't die after all! And the family says that they love him. But if that were true, they wouldn't leave him chained in front of the house next to a literal monster who just killed all of his friends, the chickens. Then hours later that the dog exists and that it maybe wasn't the best idea to leave him outside, all helpless, to die. Not to mention they keep yelling at him to shut up when he does his job and barks at an intruder. Give me a break. Poor doggo deserves better.
Stamp of pawpproval denied ૮ ꐦ𝅒ﻌ𝅒ა

Brain: Val! Hey Vaaal.

Val: ( °ヮ° )

Brain: Val.

Val: ( °ヮ° )

Brain: VAL! PAY ATTENTION!

Val: Huh? ( º ꒳ º ) ?

Brain: Your depression gauge is about ███▓▓▓▓ here, but it should be at least about here █████▓▓. You're not quite depressed enough, go watch Nitram.

Val: Duh, hokay ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

*watches movie*

Brain: That's better.

Val: (·•᷄ ᴖ •᷅ )◜ᴮᵘᵗ ᵃˡˡ ᵗʰᵒˢᵉ ᵖᵉᵒᵖˡᵉ•••

🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾

Fido score: There's a lot of doggies, and they're all okay, but they get abandoned. Which, might not have been the worst thing that could have happened in this case? I guess stamp of ⋆🐾⋆pawpproval⋆🐾⋆ granted, but I still feel bad for all the humans and abandoned animals involved ૮ ◞ ﻌ ◟ ა

Mr. Fluffybottom score: The cat was fine. Didn't see him get abandoned, but probably because cats are smart and they bounced when they smelled trouble ≽ ^⎚ ˕ ⎚^ ≼

Watched on Sunday May 25, 2025.

I'm sorry, but this was so much fun on many stupid stupid STOOOOOOHPEEEEEEEEEED honey buns 🍯🥯

Quick highlights/low-whatevers:

1.) I now know how Jamie Oliver and Jason Bateman's kid would look like

b.) The animal/human hybrids, again, look suspiciously like dudes in masks. Granted, better masks than the first one, but that's neither here or there.

3.) Tigger reveal was disappointing. Looks too much like Pooh. Why not more versatile?

and

π.) Winnie, honey...that flaming chainsaw's not even on 🤣

That's basically it, because when someone said "It's Poohin' time" I laughed too hard to pay attention to much else.

Watched on Saturday May 24, 2025.

Eleventh stitch:

Al Pacino + Robin Williams + Hilary Swank = One Happy Val

Also, I'm exhausted after watching everyone just not sleep for a week. Good night.

Quilt segment for our ProximaPals:

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Fido score: Doggies are fine and well...but their dad sure is scary. Stamp of the ⋆🐾⋆pawpproval⋆🐾⋆ fearfully granted ૮₍ ⊙ _ ⊙ ₎ა

This review may contain spoilers.

I started writing something, but I just can't with this movie anymore.

Homegirl for real somehow didn't notice a person walk into her bathroom, slash her wrist, and leave in a leisurely manner. Then her dog is kidnapped and she's like "Oh no, whatever will I do?" then immediately goes back to vacation mode.
Then her best friend somehow magically knows shit they had no way of knowing, which okay whatever. But it was the motivation for a murder and every subsequent action, so it just leaves you with THAT MAKES NO DAMN SENSE MOVIE, HOW STUPID DO YOU THINK WE ARE?!?

Oh, very? Yeah, that tracks.

Then the creepazoid next door... You know what?
I'm done thinking about this. Extra star for the dog.

🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾

Fido score: Doggie lives, is unhurt, and is *technically* not mistreated, so I guess I'll have to give it the stamp of
⋆🐾⋆pawpproval⋆🐾⋆. But this dog parent doesn't seem to care about her at all, so I still feel bad for pupper ૮₍•᷄ ˕ •᷅₎ა

Watched on Thursday May 22, 2025.

Tenth stitch:

I forgot how bizarre this is 🤣
I mean, even the way it's filmed. I have no idea why people hated this when it came out. It's colorful, but super dark. Not to mention the giant banana pudding you could make from all those bananas!
And that cast!

Love it.

Now in the wise words of Tommy Cotter:
"Let's go pray and get shitfaced."
Amen, sister 🙌

Quilt segment for our ProximaPals:

🎯💣💀🧨🧨💀⚰️🎯💣💀⚰️🧨⚰️💀💣
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🎯💣💀🧨⚰️💀⚰️🎯💣💀⚰️🧨⚰️💀💣

Somebody watched The Wolf House and took copious notes. Then went: "This was great and all, but there's a distinct lack of big ol' floppy naturals. Super floppy! The floppier the better!"

I hope there's a feature in store for this filmmaker sometime soon.

'bout damn time we get another stop motion creepfest, ffs.

This review may contain spoilers.

Yo, Movie!
You misspelled Cthulhu Fhtagn 🤭

🚓

😱◜ᴼᴴ ᴺᴼ ᴵᵀ'ˢ ᵀᴴᴱ ᴮᴬᴰ ᴶᴼᴷᴱ ᴾᴼᴸᴵᶜᴱ!

🏃🏻‍♀️💨🧱

I think I lost 'em.
So, this was fun on many ancient buns! So glad I found this footage.

🚔

Okay! I get it! Jeez, the bad joke police just does not mess around.

Anyeldritch, I didn't know I needed FF cosmic horror in my life, but here we are. I mean, it's not perfect or anything, don't expect that. The effects are straight off of CapCut, the main character is pretty annoying at times, and it reuses a "twist" we've seen in another found footage... but man is it ever fun! And pretty spooky! It's a rare beast, a good low budget FF, so this made me happy◝(ᵔᗜᵔ)◜

I don't have anything of substance to say, really, so I'll just leave you with my favorite quote: "They're brainwashing our dogs!"

Hah! ( ≧ᗜ≦)

This review may contain spoilers.

Um...Movie, I like you. I do.
You said many a-important thing, too numerous to go into, and I'm aware you're a fairy tale, but...I'm pretty sure that a tapeworm comes out from...

( ◉ _ ◉)

(◉ _ ◉ )

(◉ _ ◉) The other end.

Because it's an intestinal worm. I'm aware that it wouldn't be prudent or cinematic to show that, but y'know ¯⁠\⁠(⁠°⁠_⁠o⁠)⁠/⁠¯

Also, pretty sure that tapeworm eggs are microscopic, because people usually ingest them accidentally in water.

I think if you're running your tap and the water starts going *kerplunk* *blub blub bloob* *splishy splash* you'd tend to look and not drink it if there's a bunch of wiggly tic tacs floating in there. You'd notice a thing like that, Movie!

Well, except maybe in a Boba.

Ninth stitch:

Well.
I hated that.

Robin Williams was delightful as always, there's a cute dog, and we get a Justin Long cameo...
BUT.
That CG, that story, that script, what they think is funny, and just everything is so far from what I find funny or cute or clever or even tolerable, that I can't even see it with this here telescope ---> 🔭

Maybe if I saw this as a kid, who knows, but as is? Not for me. Like at all.
Seth Green singing to the ape made me chuckle though, so at least one thing ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

Also Fido has a few choice words for this movie that also reflect my opinion.

Quilt segment for our ProximaPals:

🦸‍♀️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️
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Fido score: All the doggies in this are cute, and treated well. But the main canine protagonist dies of old age off screen, for no reason at all except they needed something bad to happen. Then someone who was supposed to love the deceased has the nerve to show up to his funeral with a puppy for the grieving parent. Because sure! You can just get a new dog, right? Us dogs, so replaceable, right? Cram a puppy in the hole left in your heart after your dog dies! That takes care of that! Stamp of pawpproval denied, and I'm also kind of grumpy now "૮₍¬_¬ ₎ა

I love how all the cars in this movie are built out of actual C4, and run on Nitroglycerin.

Seriously, the bumper's just a stick of dynamite.

And they're all transporting TNT for some reason.

They should really drive more carefully 😳

This review may contain spoilers.

Well, it wasn't as good as the first. And poor thing got buried in ice. I tell ya, people are so mean to ancient monsters of the deep and/or wherever this one came from, it's ridiculous.
But it's still Godzilla, and there is no reality when that silly goof doesn't make me smile.
With those janky ass teef.
I love it.

Now if you'll excuse me.
*stomps and roars around Letterbox'd for the rest of the day* ヘ⁠(ᵔᢍ ᵔヘ⁠) ◜ʳᵃʷʳ

Eighth stitch:

My cats: /ᐠ-˕-マ ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁
Nathan Lane: *shrieks*
My cats: WHAT WAS THAT?!? IS THE WORLD ENDING?!? SOMEONE CALL THE CAT POLICE! ¡|!ฅ/ᐠ O ˕o ᐟ\ฅ!|¡

Cats aside, this is so delightful and fun! I just love Robin Williams and Nathan Lane so much, I have to give them all the stars.

I laughed, I cried, I squeed.

Also, it hurts my heart that their son would even make such a request, when he's lucky to have parents like that. Like, what was he even thinking? "Durr, it's just for tonight, then after we're married we'll just ⋆˚࿔⌗｡𖦹°‧.𖥔 ݁ ˖ᝰ.ᐟ 🥴"
Eejit 😑

I think we're supposed to like him by the end, but oh my dog what a shitty Val. That guy gives us all a bad name.

P.S.: There should be operas written about Agador. One should be called "The Agados and Agadon'ts of being Agador"

Quilt segment for our ProximaPals:

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Let me take out my trusty abacus and break this movie down for you:

89% stupid teenage drama
1% Trawling©®™
10% The same shot of CGBlood spraying on the camera. For. Every. Single. Boring. Kill.

That tallies up to 100% annoying. And you can trust that math, because this baby right here is a graphing abacus. See? 🧮📊

Also, this ancient demon from some random ruins in Bali is surprisingly proficient in modern tech. Someone give that dude/dudette/entity an IT job.

Seventh stitch:

Such a beautiful movie. But ugly too.
Unsure what's real here or not, but if I'm honest with myself I'd rather not know.

Fact is we all hurt. We're all our own worst enemy - the thing not allowing ourselves to move on; To be happy.
We all have our own Red Knights to battle.
Some big.
Some small.
Some scarier than others.

But in the end of the day, my takeaway from this movie is and has always been:
When life bites you in the ass, sometimes there's nothing else left to do but sing a showtune.
And try to be nice to others, ffs. It literally costs nothing.

Also, extra half star for John de Lancie. What do you mean why, because he's John de Lancie ◝(ᵔᗜᵔ)◜

Quilt segment for our ProximaPals:

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Fido score: A dog just ed by on the street. Is this really what we're doing now, Val? ૮ ･ ﻌ･ა

Everyone in this movie: "Devon Sawa, you saved my life and there's only one thing I have to say to you: You're an absolute piece of shit. Go play in traffic. Fine. That's two things. Of course you'd nitpick, the prick you are!ヽ(°〇°)ﾉ What? Thank you?!? Go haunt a graveyard or something, ya creepy slackjawed fuck."

Anydeath, I forgot how fun this was ◝(ᵔᗜᵔ)◜

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Fido score: Well, the doggie wasn't seen hurt, but he was tied up outside, then he was in a dangerous situation, and then he just disappeared all scared like. So, stamp of pawpproval denied for poopy treatment, but doggie at least survived ૮₍ ´• ˕ •` ₎ა

Not technically a Kneel Before Todd watch, but I gotta put a hypnocat score on this one: 𝟠 - My cat awoke from his slumber when he heard Tony Todd's dulcet tones, sat up and watched the whole scene. He was mesmerized! ≽(𖦹⩊𖦹マ≼

So, if you feel like watching people torturing a dead CGI animal for half a runtime, boy, do I have a picture for you!

I never thought that Paul Rudd could ever get on my nerves, but you live you learn ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯
Also, extra half star for NoHo Hank, nice to know he went legit. If you can call serving supervillains legit.

Now, down to business.
Hey Hollywood. C'mere a minute.
Come on, I don't bite.
That's it.
Take a seat, please. Good.

So. Not every dangerous animal growls and roars. I know you think that looks cool as shit, but it doesn't. It looks dumb coming out of a unicorn. Or a shark. Or anything that isn't a thing that roars. Stop beating that dead horse.
Pun intended.
Because that's what you did for almost two hours.
Ya dick.

Oh, and while I have you here, goddammit Hollywood. A horror movie with unicorns was supposed to be the coolest shit I've ever seen! How did you fuck that up? I'm not crying rainbows or burping glitter! I'm not even flailing my arms in excitement! Not even a little bit! And I love unicorns! I have unicorn slippers ffs! I am literally your target audience! I'm also easily distracted by pretty colors and magical horses, so this should have been a cakewalk! The only cool thing you did here is confirm my suspicion that unicorns are, in fact, Canadian, and told me that people are selfish and generally suck. That's it! ヽ(°〇°)ﾉ

Run along now, I'm sure you're busy with whatever the fuck you're doing these days. Rigging the Oscars or producing a seprerequelboot of a beloved classic or doing blow off of an unwilling participant.

What?
No! I won't even call A24, I'm too hurt and disappointed right now .·°՞(¯□¯)՞°·.

Watched on Tuesday May 6, 2025.

This review may contain spoilers.

Sixth stitch:

This holds up beautifully.
But I don't get how the aliens after all they've seen still have such a high opinion of humanity.
It makes no sense.

Quilt segment for our ProximaPals:

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Fifth stitch:

Living beings die. Every day.
Living beings suffer. Every day.
Living beings ask, pray, beg for help. Every day.

And all we can do is lie. To ourselves. To others. To the very being of our souls.
Everything's gonna be okay, we say. It's not that bad.
So we can sleep at night.
So we can believe that we're good.
So we can think anything at all makes sense.
So we fool ourselves into the preposterous belief that we're in control of anything at all.
That there is such a thing as a happy ending, waiting out there. If we just try hard enough.

Fuck everything.
Val out.

Quilt segment for our ProximaPals:

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Fido score: All the dogs in this are scary, because they have evil hoomans ૮ ◞ ﻌ ◟ ა

Mr. Fluffybottom score: There's a cat. Nobody likes him. I don't even know /ᐠ ◞ ᆺ ◟マ

This review may contain spoilers.

Deleted scene:

INT. Restaurant kitchen, evening

The kitchen is a whirlwind of activity. Chefs are shouting orders and clattering pans as they rush to meet the high demand. Tension hangs in the air as line cooks frantically plate dishes, sweat glistening on their brows, while the head chef paces up and down, ensuring every detail is perfect amidst the chaos.

Suddenly, BADDIE, tiptoes cartoonishly into the kitchen, lifting each foot unnecessarily high into the air and obviously glancing around. His eyes move shiftily side to side.

Everyone in the kitchen stops and stares.

BADDIE pulls a fake mustache from his pocket and attaches it to his face, briefly twirling the ends before swiftly tucking it back away. He looks at the kitchen staff and puts his finger to his lips.

BADDIE
Shhhhhhhh

Everyone looks upon him in confusion, but say nothing. BADDIE then quickly pulls out the lipstick covered $20 bill out of his pocket and shoves it underneath the lettuce on a plate. He snickers and exaggeratedly sneaks back out.

There is a brief moment of silence.

The head chef shrugs, and everyone returns back to what they were doing.

Watched on Thursday May 1, 2025.

Watched on Thursday May 1, 2025.

Fourth Stitch:

You don't just shoot at our future president Pom! 😱 What is this? The Totalitarian State of Backwardville?
No. That dog won't hunt, monsignor (≖_≖ )

Also, here's a list of people who can pull off a mustache (without a beard involved) in no particular order:

1. Robin Williams
2. Sam Elliott
3. Jason Sudeikis
4. Nick Offerman (although, it's unclear if he pulls off the mustache off or vice versa)
5. Nathan Lane

Not counting Tom Selleck, because that thing is an entity onto itself.

That is all. Thank you. What? I said nothing about the movie again?
I said there's a dog and a mustachioed Robin Williams, what else is there to talk about?

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Fido score: Little doggie only had some opinions to share, and they kept telling him to shut up. Then they shot at him. Even though he's not physically hurt in the movie, I cannot give the stamp of pawpproval. I wouldn't be able to nap during the day and sleep at night. Now, if you'll excuse me ᶻzᶻ ૮˶- ﻌ -˶ა⌒)ᦱ

Watched on Thursday May 1, 2025.

Watched on Wednesday April 30, 2025.

Watched on Tuesday April 29, 2025.

Third stitch:

Gooooooood morning Letterbooooox'd!

This is Val the Braindead Gal, coming at you live from the 3rd shelf on the left of the internet. And I have a take that's not as hot as a Sate sauce on shrimp served at a Saigon summer solstice soiree. In fact, it's absolutely tepid! ദ്ദി(ᵔᗜᵔ)

This braindead gal will not judge this movie by today's standards however, because some things aged like a mullet left in the sun.

*dumb deep voice* Huh?

Not the haircut, the fish.

*dumb deep voice* Okay then.

Hey, it's 80's Larry, everybody! How are you doing 80's Larry?

*dumb deep voice* I'm sad.

Why's that 80's Larry?

*dumb deep voice* It's not the 80's anymore.

It sure isn't!

*dumb deep voice* They repossessed my car yesterday, which was also my home. My disco tapes were in there too, which is the only thing that brought me joy in this cruel, uncaring worl--

Hahahahaha! OKAY! That was 80's Larry, everyone! What a hoot he is!

*dumb deep voice* But I need hel--

Back to the movie! Sunbaked mullet aside, this was pretty good, if sometimes misguided. But Robin Williams brings the charm, the wit, the heart, and The Beach Boys! Only one of these I wish he left at home, I won't say which, but that's alright, because it was all still Goooood Vibrations all around, even though God Only Knows that everyone in the movie wished they were rather in Kokomo having Fun, Fun, Fun! Wouldn't It Be Nice, huh folks?

Well, enough ramblin' from me. Go and enjoy your day, my Letterlobsters, and may it be a great one.
But before I go, here's a song coming your way right now. "Saying Goodbye" by The Muffs. Play it loud, play it proud, ESPECIALLY if someone's giving you a hard time today or if you're in a Scooby Doo type chase. Works both ways.

This is Val the Braindead Gal g off. And : Flailing your arms in random directions doesn't count as assault, because they effectively hit themselves by getting too close.

Quilt segment for our ProximaPals:

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Fido score: Doggies cameoooooooo! Can I get another woof woof? ฅ૮₍ ´ ꒳ `₎აฅ

A guy receives a bloodied note stating someone's been kidnapped. "I know!" He says, "This is a job for the police!"

Is a thing that didn't happen in this movie.

Watched on Sunday April 27, 2025.

This review may contain spoilers.

So, you hear a flute playing under your window every night at 3 AM? And you live in the woods?
Dude, that's no mystery. That's just Dan Stevens and his woodwind shenanigans again. The freak he is.

Case closed.

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Mr. Fluffybottom score: Did Dan Stevens also kill that cat?!? Hot freak with a flute™ (© 2025 saltbarbie) or not, I'll claw his face right off! ฅ/ᐠ ᗒᗣᗕマฅ

This review may contain spoilers.

Ah, Poohniverse. Finally, I visit you. But what do you even say about such a...baffling? dumpster fire as this?
Maybe I should just quote treadyster:

Sounds like a terrifying bathroom accident!

Which, y'know. Not far off.
BUT I played a fun drinking game while watching called: Drink What You Want

It's simple!
Rule no. 1: Drink what you want.
Rule no. 2: Obey rule no. 1
Rule no. 3: C'mon guy, there's no rule no. 3, what are we doing here?

So, I had a beer and a shot, because drinking with your friend, Intentionally Awful Movie, is what I think a fun Friday is.

So, yes, it's dumb.
And yes, if you didn't say "what the fuck" at least five times through the thing, then I don't know what's going on.
And yes, that's one entitled bear, who blames all his problems on a child. Even the fact that he ate his best friend.
And double yes, it's bad. I get the CGBees, but the CGBlood? Unforgivable.
Also where are Owl and Tigger? Were they eaten too? I'd ask Pooh, but he'd probably kill me.

But this was just the right amount of dumb and I had a goddamn blast. Every time Pooh slapped the shit out of somebody, I couldn't help but laugh. C'mon, he slapped someone's face right off! ꉂ (≧ヮ≦)
I'm sorry!
The fact that this takes itself so seriously just makes it more hilarious, and hell, I've seen way worse.
I'm p̶r̶o̶b̶a̶b̶l̶y̶ just as dumb as this movie.

Point?
Fun was had and I kinda can't wait to see the sequel ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯
But, I can't give this more than two stars with a clear conscience 🤣

Now, what I really want is to read a review of this from BearFromGrizzly.
Because there was a bear. But were there enough bears? Only BearFromGrizzly knows.

Watched on Friday April 25, 2025.

Watched on Friday April 25, 2025.

Second stitch:

I mean, what can I say? It's Jumanji, it's delightful!
Also, great commercial for a Chevy Caprice. That baby just refused to die 🚓

Jumanji quilt segment for our ProximaPals:

🌿🌴🥥🌿🌳🌿🍌🌴🌿🌴🌴🌿🌴🌴
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Fido score: Doggie cameoooooo! Can I get a woof woof? ฅ૮₍´｡ᵔ ꈊ ᵔ｡`₎აฅ

This review may contain spoilers.

Okay Movie, what are we doing?

Movie: Okay so, I'm a found footage set i--

Sold! Let's do this!

Movie: Wait, that's it?

Yes! Let's go! Less yappin' more...well, more yappin'. Tell me the story ( ≧ᗜ≦)

Movie: Alright! That was easy! So, listen. There's a guy...

Uh-huh

Movie: ...recording himself playing guitar...

Uh-huuuuuh (＾∇＾)

Movie: ...in a forest...

Uh-huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh ( °ヮ° )

Movie: ...in Bonnie ol' Ireland!

✧｡٩(ˊᗜˋ)و✧*｡

Movie: I knew you'd like that 😆 So, someone leaves him cassette tapes everywhere.

Spooky.

Movie: And the tapes are of a lady that was there seemingly years before him, trying to figure out if the legends of this place are real.

Go on.

Movie: So, apparently there's a creepy man in the forest...

Much like in every forest.

Movie: Right. But this one has a ghostly dog. And they'll getcha, because they're kinda pissed off for being brutally murdered and all!

Not the dog! ( ˶°ㅁ°) !!

Movies: Ehh 😅 Moving on! So, a bunch of creepy things happen to the guy, but he refuses to leave.

Why?

Movie: What do you mean why?

Why doesn't he leave the forest? Is there some spell on it, or something?

Movie: Well, no...

So, why?

Movie: Well, because then the movie is over.

I don't think you're understanding the question, what I mean is--

Movie: Anyway, things really start going down at night right? Dog barking, the creepy man crying, the friggin' works!

And the guy still won't leave?

Movie: Right.

But why?

Movie: Because then the movie would be over. Aren't you listening?

I... (っ- ‸ - ς) *sigh* Okay, keep going or else we'll be here all day.

Movie: Then the guy says: "Maybe someone's watching me right now?" Then he looks around and goes: "No, that's a bird." 🤣 Ah, I kill me!

Movie! You're such a silly goose ꉂ (≧ヮ≦)

Movie: I know! Anyway, yadda yadda, creepy happenings in forest, more tapes to reveal the old man's backstory, blah-de-blah spoopy ending leaving an air of mystery but is at the same time satisfying.

Alright! So, lemme recap.

Movie: Sure.

Guy running around the forest, being afraid in his tent.

Movie: Blair Witch homage, baybee!

Guy refuses to leave for no apparent reason that makes any earthly sense, then we've got a bunch of shaky cam in the forest at night.

Movie: All the FF tropes everyone seems to hate, but they're tropes for a reason, innit?

Mysterious fun ending.

Movie: Wrapped that shit up nicely.

You know what, Movie?

Movie: What?

I might be biased, because I love FF set entirely in forests, but I liked your quiet atmosphere and the sad creepy man was an interesting antagonist. While you may have some issues, I still had a pretty nice time. You're alright!

Movie: 🍻

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Fido score: Well, they tell us the poor doggie lost his life, but we never see him. We only hear his ghostly bork, so I guess stamp of pawpproval neither granted or denied ૮ ´• ﻌ ´• ა

First stitch:

So, kicking off the Robin Williams rewatches (jazzyjules riding shotgun) with a little bit of wicked smaht Bostonness.
Hot take? I think Will is obnoxious 🫣 I'm sorry! Guy is so full of himself, it's a wonder he doesn't explode and only a cloud of noxious gas is left. He's no better than that Harvard douche inasmuch he also looks down on most everyone, but his cronies.

I have to say, I used to like this movie quite a bit more than I do on this rewatch.
Most of the emotional beats seem rushed and undeserved. The perception of love, trauma, and resolution is how a young person with little experience in these matters might see it, I suppose.
Nothing wrong with that, it's a valid perspective, but it's just something I noticed on this watch.

Still, it's a cute little movie, and when Robin Williams is on screen it makes me smile, so I had fun ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

Now down to business.

Good Will Hunting quilt segment for our ProximaPals:

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Fido score: I disagree with dog racing, because all I wanna do is eat/sleep/play/walkies/repeat, so stamp of pawpproval is denied. That barked, no doggies are seen actually hurt in the movie ૮₍ ´• ˕ •` ₎ა

Here. Hold my tinfoil hat ᵀʰᵃᵗ'ˢ ᵃ ᵈᵘᶜᵏ•••◝(๑•́ -•̀)۶ 𓅰٩(ᐛ )ᕗ

𓅯 ヽ(°ㅁ°˶ ) !!

This is a horror movie.
I will die on this hill.
Now give me my tinfoil hat back (•᷄‎ࡇ•᷅' )◜ᴮᵘᵗ ᶦᵗ ᶠˡᵉʷ ᵃʷᵃʸ

That was my best hat! I can't trust you with anything, imaginary person with no name!
That's too long.

Bat...man. Von...banana...berg.
Batman von Bananaberg.
Ruthie for short (ㅅ´ ˘ `)

Watched on Thursday April 17, 2025.

I enjoyed the first one, but here they spoke a lot and said next to nothing.
So, it was more like Horror in the High Desert: Getting on my Last Nerve-ah.

（ꐦ𝅒_𝅒）

I won't even dignify that horrible joke with a ba-dum-tish and am very disappointed in myself. I also want to apologize profusely to everyone on the planet for the crime on comedy I've just committed.

Please don't judge me too harshly because truthfully, I have nothing to say about this movie. It's neither here nor there for me. I'm only writing this because of the following:

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Mr. Fluffybottom score: Black cat cameooooo ฅ/ᐠ˶>⩊<˶ᐟ\ฅ

This review may contain spoilers.

'Tis time for another leg of jazzyjules' Liam Aiken filmography tour. Today, we're taking a quick detour through a wintery landscape during the Civil War. Watch out for frostbite! And cannibals!
ᵂᵃᵗ? ᴰᶦᵈ ˢʰᵉ ˢᵃʸ ᶜᵃⁿⁿᶦᵇᵃˡˢ?◝🚢◜ᴺᵒ ⁿᵒ· ˢʰᵉ ˢᵃᶦᵈ ᵃⁿᶦᵐᵃˡˢ· ᴿᶦᵍʰᵗ? ᴿᴵᴳᴴᵀ?!?

Sure I did, tiny Jules and Val on the boat with no means of escape. Sure.

Anywarwhatisitgoodfor, this was a pretty interesting little short. It had a quiet ghost story vibe and it's bite sized. Nothing we hadn't seen before, but so what?

And for all the Aiken Appreciators™ out there, this was a meaty role 😁

Teeheeheeheeheehee *runs away, arms wildly flailing*
ᯓ ⁽⁠⁽ヽ( ◉ᗜ◎)ﾉ⁾⁠⁾

Watched on Sunday April 13, 2025.

Watched on Sunday April 13, 2025.

After watching The Rule of Jenny Pen I says to myself I says: Wasn't there another movie where Lithgow goes halfway Cage?
Something like ⚡ Citizen Cain: The Cainening ⚡ ৻( •̀ ᗜ •́ ৻)

Except...less dumb...right? 🤔

Anyway turns out it's called Raising Cain instead, and luckily I could nothing about it, except that there's a guy with multiple personalities and all are the high commander, so here we are.

Anycane *shakes cane*, I came for John Lithgow shenanigoats, and by dog I got John Lithgow shenanigoats ◝(ᵔᗜᵔ)◜

Everything else? When it's a full on banana explosion it's fun, but all the other parts not so much. And the protagonist, Mrs. Caina McCain, is an awful person with this expression of mild surprise perpetually plastered on her face. And it looks like it was a pleasant surprise too! I wonder what it was 🤔

...

🦗

Oh! So, for the whole runtime the movie treats her like a hero for some reason, when in actual fact, pretty much every significant character sucks here. Well, maybe not the psychologist lady. She was alright, I guess.

All in all, not a great movie but, dammit, it's fun on several weird looking banana bread buns.
In short, it's a three star movie, but it deserves 5/5 Lithgows.

P.S.: I just have to link the cherry on top of the banana split that is this movie (or in other words a much better and informative review than mine).

I was planning on continuing the second season of Severance today, but this movie just became available to me. What am I supposed to do? Ignore something called Teddiscare and go on my merry way? C'mon. You know that's impossible.

So, without further ado, I present to you: Teddiscare!

The movie heralded from the proud country of Bumbleberg, where common sense went for a pack of cigarettes and never came back.

Filmed on a measly $3 budget* you can expect straw hats on lawyers, a teddy bear suit with felt claws, immense secondhand embarrassment, a misleading but awesome poster, toys toys toys, and so much more!

our hero Duncan, as he bumbles around a forest finding brand new stuffed toys that he tells us have been there for years and are his best friends, but can't seem to get their names straight!

Watch in awe, as a man in a teddy bear suit stumbles while running slowly and carefully. Let us cheer our mighty cheer of: Please God, help that man! He almost certainly cannot see and they're telling him to run!

Marvel at the breathtaking special effects brought to you by Windows Movie Maker! Yes! We brought it out of retirement! What do you have to say about that Windows Movie Maker? 🎤

Windows Movie Maker: Please, let me die.

There you have it! From the horse's mouth itself, a glowing endorsement!

Windows Movie Maker: Please--

Featuring a cast of characters so poorly written, you'd need a GPS to even hope to navigate any of these conversations.

With a runtime of approximately "How long is this again? WHAT?!? 😱" and a script most certainly written in crayon, this is one adventure you will definitely want to miss!

So, grab your popcorn, folks, then throw it away, because hopefully you won't make the same mistake as me and be lured in by that dumb title and awesome poster.

*ˢᵉⁿˢᵉ ⁿᵒᵗ ᵇᵘᵈᵍᵉᵗᵉᵈ ᶠᵒʳ

😮‍💨

Maybe next time I'll make better decisions and just watch the actually good thing I intended to. Like I don't even know that so bad it's good is few and far between.
Who am I kidding? I'll never learn.

Half a star for the crazy chicken lady and half a star for the adorable chickens, may they rest in peace in OffscreenDeathLand 🕯️

I'm not gonna talk about the movie. Probably not at all. So, you're very welcome to check out now, because shit's gonna get sappy. I'm sorry.

Yesterday, Sage wrote a review that made me smile. He went to see a movie he knew he'd probably not like, because his kids wanted to see it. And that reminded me of my dad. Which is a coincidence, because today would have been his birthday, if he were still here.

I wrote about this last year, but I'll repeat myself for clarity. Every year on this day I light a candle and watch a movie he liked.
Not this year, though. Well, kinda.

Because of Sage's review, I was reminded of Hook. My dad, too, would often take me to see movies he absolutely hated, because my dumbass kid self wanted to see them. But he understood, because he loved movies too.
And it was always a great time despite it! He'd joke around with me, sometimes teasingly quote something stupid from the movie, maybe go out for ice cream after. Just, fun stuff.

But not Hook. We agreed on seeing this one. Because Robin Williams of course, but it also features my dad's very favorite actor, Dustin Hoffman. Weird choice, right?

And not only did we see it, but we'd rewatch it many times after it hit VHS. I, for all the shenanigans kids usually enjoy, and my dad for the Captain Hook of it all.
If I'm honest, probably not because of that. It was probably an excuse. Thinking back, maybe he just wanted to be a kid again too, just like Peter Banning, and maybe this movie got him to feel like one for a brief moment.

I wish I could ask him that.
I wish I could ask so many things.
I was thinking--
I can't what his voice sounded like. It comes back sometimes, at moments. But then I forget again. It's hard to it and to think about, but it's true.
I wish I could hear it again.
This sounds morbid, but if you can, don't let your kids ever forget your voice.

Last time I spoke to him was on the phone, and I told him about a time when he made me really happy as a kid, but it got him in trouble with my mom. Long story short, he took me to the fair and I spent the whole next day puking. I concluded the story with a loud "Worth it!"
He laughed. That was the last thing I told him. Very soon after, he was gone.

He wasn't perfect. But neither am I.
He wasn't always there. My childhood wasn't ideal. But I know he tried as much as he could under the difficult circumstances he was in. And that makes all the difference. He was such a good person. And so smart, with such a great sense of humor.
I just can't understand why we had so little time.
I wish I knew him better.

I don't even know why I do this whole candle thing. I talk to him as I light them. I also make an extra cup of coffee and set it next to the candles. Because he loved coffee. Black, no sugar.
It makes me feel like maybe he can hear me, or somehow feel that he's missed.

I'm not even religious. I know he's probably not here.
But I hope.

And if he is out there somehow... If there is something after we , against all odds...If this universe isn't the cruelest thing in existence that takes good people away arbitratily...God, he wasn't even old.

I'm sorry, I'm blabbing. I'm not so good at this wordering and writifying. I'll just let Pink say it.

I miss you so much, dad. Happy birthday.

I've been promising jazzyjules I'll watch this for ages. Frankly, it was getting embarrassing.

But now, it is watched. And it was a cute little road trip indie about self discovery, self acceptance, and the trappings of judgemental thinking.

I kinda wished the people in that car had differing educational backgrounds and maybe a little bit more serious struggles other than girlfriend dumped me, unsure if I'm a good mother, and my acting dream isn't working out. But everyone is very educated and the things they're trying to figure out, honestly, aren't all that unfigureoutable. Yay, new word!

But, let's be honest. These are the type of things people struggle with too, and when they happen we all tend to catastrophize. As the movie said, problems are problems 🤷🏻‍♀️ And not every movie has to be about horrible, awful things with characters barely holding their heads above the water to make a point we all can relate to on some level. Not everything needs to be over the top hijinks either.
It's simple, straightforward, and kinda quiet. And that's sometimes exactly what you need.

Anypool, a relaxing little watch for a sunny afternoon.

Ah, quilting. Proxima Centauri b's favorite pastime. Or I would imagine it to be. I mean what else is there to do there?
Jump space rope? Play radiation Bingo? Cower at the prospect of another stellar flare knocking out their alien iPads or BleepityBloopitySprockets or whatever they call them?
No no. It has to be quilting. Nothing else makes sense.

So, in the spirit of our Proxima Centauri b brethren, let's create a quilt! Although, a virtual one will have to do, since they're too far away to come pick it up and we're too busy bickering over nonsense to figure out space flight.
And since I'm pretty sure they weren't lucky enough to have a Robin Williams of their own, the least we can do for intergalactic diplomatic relations is to send them a quilt inspired by our favorite TV everything-- I mean alien.

So, for inspiration, it's time for some Robin Williams rewatches, and even some first time watches for me.

In short, Nanu Nanu 🛸

• Good Will Hunting

  Quilt segment for our ProximaPals:

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• Jumanji

  Quilt segment for our ProximaPals:

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• Good Morning, Vietnam

  Quilt segment for our ProximaPals:

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  🇻🇳🇻🇳🇻🇳🇻🇳🇻🇳🇻🇳🇻🇳🇻🇳🇻🇳🇻🇳🇻🇳🇻🇳🇻🇳🇻🇳
  🇻🇳🇻🇳🇻🇳🇻🇳🇻🇳🇻🇳🇻🇳🇻🇳🇻🇳🇻🇳🇻🇳🇻🇳🇻🇳🇻🇳
  🇻🇳🇻🇳🇻🇳🇻🇳🇻🇳🇻🇳🇻🇳🇻🇳🇻🇳🇻🇳🇻🇳🇻🇳🇻🇳🇻🇳
  📻📻📻📻📻📻📻📻📻📻📻📻📻📻
  🪖🌴🪖🌴🪖🌴🪖🌴🪖🌴🪖🌴🪖🌴
  🌴🪖🌴🪖🌴🪖🌴🪖🌴🪖🌴🪖🌴🪖
  🪖🌴🪖🌴🪖🌴🪖🌴🪖🌴🪖🌴🪖🌴

• Cadillac Man

  Quilt segment for our ProximaPals:

  🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃
  🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌕🌃🌃
  🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌕🌕🌕🌃
  🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌕🌃🌃
  🌃🌃🌃🌃🚘🚘🚘🚘🚘🚘🚘🚘🌃🌃🌃🌃
  🌃🌃🌃🚘🧊🧊🧊🧊🧊🧊🧊🧊🚘🌃🌃🌃
  🌃🌃🌃🚘📞🧊🧊🧊🧊🧊🧊🧊🚘🌃🌃🌃
  💡🚘🚘🚘🚘🚘🚘🚘🚘🚘🚘🚘🚘🚘🚘🚘
  💡🚘🚘🚘🚘🚘🚙🚙🚙🚘🚘🚘🚘🚘🚘🚘
  🚘🚘🚘🚘🚘🚘🚙🚙🚙🚘🚘🚘🚘🚘🚘💡
  🚘🚘🚘⚫🚘🚘🚘🚘🚘🚘🚘🚘⚫🚘🚘💡
  💵💵⚫🔘⚫💵💵💵💵💵💵⚫🔘⚫💵💵
  💵💵💵⚫💵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵⚫💵💵💵
  💵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵
  💵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵

• Jakob the Liar

  Quilt segment for our ProximaPals:

  🌌🌌🌌🌌🌌🌌🌌🌌🌌✨🌌🌌🌌🌌🌌🌌🌌
  🌌🌌🌌🌌🌌🌌🌌⚫⚫🌌🌌🌌🌌🌌🌌🌌🌌
  🌌🌌🌌🌌🌌🌌⚫⚫🌌🌌🌌🌌🌌🌌🌌🌌🌌
  🌌🌌🌌🌌🌌⚫⚫🌌🌌🌌🌌🌌🌌🌌🌌🌌🌌
  🌌🌌🌌🌌⚫⚫🌌🌌🌌🌌🌌🌌🌌🌌🌌🌌🌌
  🌌🌌🌌⚫⚫🌌🌌🌌🌌🌌🌌🌌🌌🌌🌌🌌🌌
  🌌🌌🪖🪖🪖🪖🪖🪖🪖🪖🪖🪖🪖🪖🪖🌌🌌
  🧱🧱⚰️⚰️⚰️⚰️⚰️⚰️⚰️⚰️⚰️⚰️⚰️⚰️⚰️⚰️🧱
  🧱🧱⚰️⚰️⚫⚰️⚰️1️⃣2️⃣3️⃣4️⃣5️⃣6️⃣7️⃣⚰️⚰️🧱
  🧱🧱⚰️⚫🔘⚫⚰️⚰️⚰️❗⚰️⚰️⚰️⚰️⚰️⚰️🧱
  🧱🧱⚰️⚰️⚫⚰️⚰️⚰️⚰️⚰️⚰️⚰️⚰️⚰️⚰️⚰️🧱
  🧱🧱⚰️⚰️⚰️⚰️⚰️⚰️⚰️➖➖➖➖➖⚰️⚰️🧱
  🧱🧱⚰️⚰️⚫⚰️⚰️⚰️⚰️➖➖➖➖➖⚰️⚰️🧱
  🧱🧱⚰️⚫🔘⚫⚰️⚰️⚰️➖➖➖➖➖⚰️⚰️🧱
  🧱🧱⚰️⚰️⚫⚰️⚰️⚰️⚰️⚰️⚰️⚰️⚰️⚰️⚰️⚰️🧱
  🧱🧱🧱⚰️⚰️⚰️⚰️⚰️⚰️⚰️⚰️⚰️⚰️⚰️⚰️⚰️🧱
  🧱🧱🧱🧱🧱🧱🧱🧱🧱🧱🧱🧱🧱🧱🧱🧱🧱
  🧱🧱🧱🧱🧱🧱🧱🧱🧱🧱🧱🧱🧱🧱🧱🧱🧱

• A.I. Artificial Intelligence

  Quilt segment for our ProximaPals:

  💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙🖤🖤🖤🖤💙💙💙🖤🖤💙💙💙🖤🖤🖤💙🖤🤎🤎🤎🤎🖤💙🖤🤎🤎🖤💙🖤🤎🤎🤎🖤🤎🤎🤎🤎🤎🤎🖤🤎🤎🤎🤎🖤🖤🤎🩷🤎🤎🤎🤎🤎🤎🤎🤎🤎🤎🤎🩷🤎🖤🖤🤎🤎🤎🤎🤎🤎🤎🤎🤎🖤🤎🤎🤎🤎🤎🖤💙🖤🤎🤎🤎🖤🤎🤎🤎🖤🧚🏻‍♀️🖤🤎🤎🖤🖤💙💙💙🖤🤎🖤🧚🏻‍♀️🖤🤎🤎🤎🖤🤎🤎🖤💙💙💙💙💙💙🖤🤎🖤🤎🤎🤎🤎🤎🤎🤎🖤💙💙💙💙💙💙🖤🤎🤎🤍🖤🖤🖤🤍🤎🤎🖤💙💙💙💙💙💙🖤🤎🤎🤍🤍🖤🤍🤍🤎🤎🖤💙💙💙💙💙💙🖤🤎🤎🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤎🤎🖤💙💙💙💙💙💙💙🖤🤎🤎🤎🤎🤎🤎🤎🖤💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙🖤🤎🤎🤎🤎🤎🤎🤎🖤💙💙💙💙💙💙💙🖤🤎🤎🤎🤍🤍🤎🤎🤎🤎🖤💙💙💙💙💙🖤🤎🤎🤎🤍🤍🤖🤍🤎🤎🤎🤎🖤💙💙💙🖤🤎🤎🤎🖤🤍🤍🤍🤍🤎🖤🤎🤎🤎🖤💙💙🖤🤎🤎🤎🖤🤍🤍🤍🤍🤎🖤🤎🤎🤎🖤💙💙🖤🤎🤎🤎🖤🤎🤎🤎🤎🤎🖤🤎🤎🤎🖤💙💙💙🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙

• The Fisher King

  Quilt segment for our ProximaPals:

  ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜
  ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜
  ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜👑🗡️⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜
  ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜
  ⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜
  ⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜
  ⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜
  ⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜⬜
  ⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜⬜
  ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜
  ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜
  ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜◼️⬛⬛◼️⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜
  ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜
  ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜
  ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜
  ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜
  ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜
  ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜
  ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜

• The Birdcage

  Quilt segment for our ProximaPals:

  🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥
  🟥✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨🟥
  🟥✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨🟥
  🟥✨✨✨✨💖💖✨✨✨💖💖✨✨✨✨🟥
  🟥✨✨✨💖💖💖💖✨💖💖💖💖✨✨✨🟥
  🟥✨✨✨💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖✨✨✨🟥
  🟥✨✨✨✨💖💖💖💅💖💖💖✨✨✨✨🟥
  🟥✨✨✨✨✨💖💖💖💖💖✨✨✨✨✨🟥
  🟥✨✨✨✨✨✨💖💖💖✨✨✨✨✨✨🟥
  🟥✨✨✨✨✨✨✨💖✨✨✨✨✨✨✨🟥
  🟥✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨🟥
  🟥💡💡💡💡💡💡💡💡💡💡💡💡💡💡💡🟥
  🟥💡⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛💡🟥
  🟥💡⬛⬛🫶⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛🫶⬛⬛💡🟥
  🟥💡⬛🫶⬛🫶⬛⬛🫶⬛⬛🫶⬛🫶⬛💡🟥
  🟥💡⬛🫶🫶🫶⬛🫶🫶🫶⬛🫶🫶🫶⬛💡🟥
  🟥💡⬛🫶⬛🫶⬛⬛🫶⬛⬛🫶⬛🫶⬛💡🟥
  🟥💡⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛💡🟥
  🟥💡💡💡💡💡💡💡💡💡💡💡💡💡💡💡🟥
  🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥

• Old Dogs

  Quilt segment for our ProximaPals:

  🦸‍♀️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️
  ☁️☁️🐧🐧🐧☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️🦍🦍🦍☁️☁️
  ☁️🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧☁️☁️☁️☁️🦍🦍🦍🦍🦍☁️
  ☁️🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧⚫⚫⚫⚫🦍🦍🦍🦍🦍☁️
  ☁️🐧🐧🐧⚫⚫🤎🤎🦍🦍🦍🦍🦍🦍🦍☁️
  ☁️☁️☁️⚫🤎🤎🤎🤎🦍🦍🦍🦍⚫☁️☁️☁️
  ☁️☁️☁️⚫🤎🤎🤎🤎🦍🦍🦍🦍⚫☁️☁️☁️
  ☁️☁️☁️⚫🤎🖤🖤🤎🖤🖤🦍🦍⚫☁️☁️☁️
  ☁️☁️☁️⚫🤎🖤🖤🤎🖤🖤🦍🦍⚫☁️☁️☁️
  ☁️☁️☁️⚫🤎🤎🤎🤎🤎🦍🦍🦍🦍☁️☁️☁️
  ☁️☁️⚫🤎🤎🤎⚫⚫⚫⚫🤎🤎🦍⚫☁️☁️
  ☁️☁️⚫🤎🤎🤎🤎⚫⚫🤎🤎🤎🤎⚫☁️☁️
  🌳🌳⚫🤎🤎🤎🤎🤎🤎🤎⚫🤎🤎⚫🌳🌳
  🌳🌳🌳⚫🤎🤎⚫⚫⚫⚫🤎🤎⚫🌳🌳🌳
  🌳🌳🌳🌳⚫🤎🤎🤎🤎🤎🤎⚫🌳🌳🌳🌳
  🌳🌳🌳🌳🌳🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🌳🌳🌳🌳🌳
  🌳🌳🌳🌳⚫🤎🤎🟠🟠🤎🤎⚫🌳🌳🌳🌳
  🌳🌳🌳⚫🤎🤎🤎🟠🟠🤎🤎🤎⚫🌳🌳🌳
  🌳🌳⚫🤎🤎🤎🤎🤎🤎🤎❤️🤎🤎⚫🌳🌳
  🌱🌱⚫🤎🤎🤎🤎🤎🤎🤎🤎🤎🤎⚫🌱🌱
  🌱🌱⚫🤎🤎🤎⚫🤎🤎⚫🤎🤎🤎⚫🌱🌱
  🌱🌱🌱⚫🤎🤎⚫🤎🤎⚫🤎🤎⚫🌱🌱🌱
  🌱🌱🌱⚫🤎🤎⚫⚫⚫⚫🤎🤎⚫🌱🌱🌱
  🌱🌱🌱🌱⚫⚫🌱🌱🌱🌱⚫⚫🌱🌱🌱🌱

• Death to Smoochy

  Quilt segment for our ProximaPals:

  🎯💣💀🧨🧨💀⚰️🎯💣💀⚰️🧨⚰️💀💣
  💵🎯🧨💰💀💣🎯🌈💣💀🧨⚰️🧨💰🧨
  💣⚰️💣💀⚰️🎯🌈✨🌈⚰️🎯💣💀🧨💣
  🧨💰🧨🎯💣🌈✨✨✨🌈⚰️🎯💣💀🧨
  💣💀💣⚰️🌈✨✨🍭✨✨🌈💣💵🎯💀
  🧨💵⚰️🌈✨✨🍭✨🍭✨✨🌈⚰️🧨💣
  💀💣🌈✨✨🍭✨💜✨🍭✨✨🌈💰💀
  ⚰️🌈✨✨🍭✨💜🦏💜✨🍭✨✨🌈💣
  🎯💵🌈✨✨🍭✨💜✨🍭✨✨🌈💣💀
  ⚰️🧨🎯🌈✨✨🍭✨🍭✨✨🌈⚰️🎯🧨
  💵💣💀🎯🌈✨✨🍭✨✨🌈⚰️🎯💀⚰️
  💀🧨💣💀🎯🌈✨✨✨🌈💀🎯⚰️💣🧨
  🎯💵💀🧨💰🎯🌈✨🌈💣🎯💀🧨💀💰
  💣💀💣🎯🧨💣🎯🌈🎯🧨💣💵💀🎯💀
  🎯💣💀🧨⚰️💀⚰️🎯💣💀⚰️🧨⚰️💀💣

...plus 22 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

A week* of Tony Todd movies as curated by CityGent. This is an attempt to investigate if my cat can really be hypnotized by Tony Todd's presence.
In the spirit of that, these reviews will include a Hypnocat scale ranging from 1 to 🙀Kneel before Todd🙀 as ranked by my cat.

*ᴹᶦᵍʰᵗ ᵗᵃᵏᵉ ᵐᵒʳᵉ ᵗʰᵃⁿ ᵃ ʷᵉᵉᵏ ᵇᵉᶜᵃᵘˢᵉ ᴵ'ᵐ ᵃ ᶠˡᵃᵏᵉ

• Bitch Ass
• Sky Sharks
• Penance
• Scarecrow Slayer
• Sleepwalk
• From Jennifer
• Stream
• Dead of the Nite
• Immortal
• Traveling Light

...plus 2 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.