in the middle of watching this, i spotted a large moving shadow crawling towards me from the folds of my white comforter. i immediately jumped from my bed and shined a flashlight to reveal the largest cockroach ever recorded in human history making its way across my bed. i tore down the hallway yelling for my father who was unfortunately occupying the bathroom. he emerged moments later, clearly still half asleep, and yet he followed me to my bedroom nevertheless…