4v291o

Simply delightful. A charming picture by the wretch, Anderson. I loath his offerings usually but for this, agh, I have a soft, mushy spot. This movie is laser focused on my pale, goopy weak point; a love of visual rhythm and general decadence.

Some of the continuity is a mess and the casting can prove distracting but otherwise, this is a damn good movie. It has alot to say about etiquette, the dignity of servitude, the cattle of patronage and families, found and otherwise. The presentation is hypnotically appealing and the dry comedy consistently amuses.

It's witty, dare I say. It has style, a good tone and a pace most agreeable. This is the sort of movie which infects you for a while. Its energy is contagious and briefly, it makes one suddenly stuffy and prompt. Something about this picture scratches some very autistic itches of mine. It's convoluted, yes, but organized in a way which lulls even the fussiest of audiens, if you will.

Particular, morbid and executed with precision, this hotel movie is one for the books.

That was pretty good. It managed to take two actors who I can't stand and make them into pretty charming leads. Eisenberg kills it as the stoner sleeper agent and Stewart is solid as it his girlfriend/handler. Walton Goggins even got to be a cackling lunatic so that's cool. Goggins is a great performer and his final scene was downright stirring in a way I did not expect. Tony Hale was a super cute gay CIA desk jockey, John Lengnaungiaszamo was a half-convincing drug dealer and Lavell Crawford was there!!!! I love him!!

The only thing exceptional about this movie is the action. The blood looks pretty fake but there's a great energy and some really good music. Every track is contextualized well and syncs up in a very satisfying way with the action. As far as positives go, I also appreciate the 95 minute duration and the colours; they were very appealing. This movie had some poppy, beautiful shots and they did alot in dignifying this picture and making it worth watching.

Topher Grace is a horrible, generic villain. He brought nothing to the role but then again, does he ever? I think this movie's visual sensibility has been replicated too much in the action films of recent history. This movie is proper fun but something about it rings a bit more familiar than I might like. I'm trying not to hold that against it.

American Ultra - not especially profound or original but it was a good time. I didn't resent it and its charms weren't in too short supply. I really like when music video directors make movies and this is one such example where the vibrancy and visual creativity were everything. That said, the characters were okay and it didn't overstay its welcome.

That's all.

It's not Children of Men, it's War of the Worlds. It's alot of Tom Cruise Sr. scrambling around and being upset by what he sees. "Oh my God, society is falling but I must save my white family!!" Per the words of the film buff at my local theater, this film is very post-9/11 with its disaster setpieces and focus on nuclear harmony in the throes of uncertain, violent times.

Some of the action is genuinely awesome but the aliens suck ass and crumble under all scrutiny. They're so weak and stupid and everything they do in the third act is mind boggling. They're actively competing with the Signs things to be the worst aliens ever. DO NOT INVADE ENEMY WORLDS WHILE YOU ARE ASS NAKED.

Cool acting and some okay effects but others that are really bad (2005). Most notably were those slimy noodle tripod alien things with horrible CGI. Keep it practical, you fucks.

I'm a girl who likes some science fiction hooey but this blew chunks. Atrocious ending where everyone is happy and alive. The aliens just... die by nudism. Not painful to watch but thinking about it undoes the whole experience.

Stupid ass movie.

Ahhh :) Still a splendid, tender, romantic story about two guys being dudes. It's not especially ambitious or profound but it's a nice, short comfort watch for me :P

Two bros chillin in the hot tub...

It's campy, corny and weird as hell. Most of the effects are cheesy, Mars Attacks!-grade silliness.

Streep is fun and it's gotta be one of my favorite Bruce Willis pictures (he's an adorable, panicked imp WITH HAIR). I guess it's a bit funny sometimes but if this film has a cult, I'm not part of it. This played at my local theater recently and That Gray Cartoon Pony did an awesome reanimated version of a particularly funny scene. Suffice it to say, I was well aware of this film's... somewhat undeserved reputation.

Oh, I don't know. Maybe I remain incapable of fun, as it were. Maybe I'm still just "bitch joyless". This had its moments and I didn't suffer too much but this whole thing is just pointless. Some of the worst CGI I have ever seen.

1.5 stars for the discordant "please" at around 1:16:40.

Best movie ever recommended by Gregg Turkington! Scary, intelligent and dare I say, woke.

Its reflections on gentrification remain incisive and well presented. The total lack of supernatural gobbledygook keeps this picture grounded to great horror effect. It's nasty, upsetting and chilling. No ghosts or monsters, just humanity pushed to the brink.

Brink of capitalistic collapse, brink of social justice, brink of a real estate crash but most importantly, brink of sanity. So many ominous messages delivered with cutting imagery; literally, like lots of gore and bright, brilliant bloods.

It's hammer adjacent; visually spectacular in its vivid depictions of violence, sickness and lunacy. Lesser known actors (who Roberts??) but all pretty effective, especially the crazy parents and the kid, Fool. A very rare film where the main character is a kid and the performances are broadly great.

Understandable why Gregg would want to buy this house. Now having seen this movie, i can see a little deeper as to why it was chosen for On Cinema. There are allegories at play here that are only becoming clear after experiencing TPUtS. Lots about derangement, intentional, symbolic disrepair, dysfunction, volatility, right wing politics and the commodification of the home.

Great fuckin movie. A little corny and some slow choreography but largely effective.

Im seeing this in the theater and someone just ripped a wet, stinky fart with a heinous rank that won't soon dissipate... woe is we who endure this boring movie with odourous colossus.

UGGGGGHHHHHU Technically good but horrible and really just awful to watch. What do people see in this bourgeois worship? It's hideous and annoying and so small minded.

Some of the characters were okay and the dialogue was interesting. Hell, I'll even give props to the costumes and choreography. Still, though, the subject matter is a stinking heap of shit. This is one of the most singularly boring films ever made. It's so plain and dry. Pretty colours, flowery words but fuck, it's about things I don't want to know about. Nobody should care about this tripe but they do.

Frankly, it feels like the beautiful, high effort execution of this film was undesrvedly applied to a dry toast story. It has its humanity and we love the POTC alumni but please, God, fuck, this SUCKS

This has a weird relationship with POTC. Hollander and Swann are here in identically prominent roles. It's not remarkable, just faintly interesting. Hollander is always great as a little queer.

Mister Darcy can go to hell. I bet Baz Luhrmann loved this glop.

That was Emilia Perez for people who are not transphobic. Yep, I'm a #Perezhead.

The one time liberal wieners and deranged conservatives came together was to agree upon HATING Emilia Perez when it's really not bad at all. People gotta pull their heads out of their self righteous asses and learn to love a loathsome character- FUCK!!

This is a film about a rich family living out the post Apocalypse in a salt mine, all the while fomenting distrust and singing bad songs.

Boring, terrible, dull movie with lame music, The End. Y'know, just like Emilia Perez 😒

Tilda Swinton must always be a weird lady. Good or bad movie, she'll always be a weird ass pasty lady. Being in exclusively in horrible movies is Michael Shannon's job.

I recently REALLY pissed off this letterboxd cause I called him "unhinged". The dude was practically foaming and vicious in his reviews but he blocked me for calling him nuts and then scrawled some haywire screed about how he was incredulous at my audacity. We all need to relax a little. I get that these are stressful and upsetting times but we don't accomplish anything by dogpiling Emilia Perez or by crying over letterboxd comments.

Well that was... pretty good.

There was a bit too much brownface and duration for me but I can't deny the incisive, gripping depictions of Imperial Britain's stranglehold on India and the resultant resistance's stratagem and ideology. Kingsley did phenomenally as Gandhi and consistently stole the show. He disappeared into the role, becoming Ghandi in physique, demeanor and voice. Rising above mere imitation and encapsulating both the reality of the man as well as his somewhat mythologized life and times.

Does this film take liberties? You better bet your bottom bindle it does. The point, however, is less so in the rigid particulars but more concerned with the idea; the symbol that was Ghandi. He is not depicted as all good; he has flaws in this. His humility and openness are his undoing and while the tiny, old Indian man marching to the sea may be the picture of strength and independence to Indian people, the oppressors laugh at him. This movie explores so many facets of his life and contemporary reputation. It even dips into his legacy although given this film came out 34 years after his death, that was inevitable.

It's beautiful, this movie. The visuals are just amazing - epic in scale and gorgeously colour corrected. I will never forget some of the money shots in this movie, if you will.

I'm sad that some parts of this film haven't aged great - especially with regards to the production (brownface). Even still, it's a pretty great movie that overstays its welcome but tells an extremely important story with artistry and restraint.

Gludge: total septum-grade, said n' made with cranberry glaze. It's raggedy and clumping; time is in the buttcheeks of this film.

It's just really bad and bland. Slow and happled with ditchis frail-tings.

Dish spanned its bones' trail. Quayle didding won't stop spitting. Plaintiff moons, balder swoons.

Ditzy Decree #1:
This movie is to be banned

I fell for that stupid "DECIDE FOR YOURSELF" marketing campaign and suffered for it. I declare this batch...

A total load of barnacles. It's the most poorly written and acted film ever. Almost all* the music is atrocious and it looks like ass. It's extremely predictable, the plot is dull as gruel (sic) and it entirely focuses on the worst MacGuffin of all fucking time.

Eli Roth - this man should not be allowed to make films. He cannot, should not and frankly, won't ever again direct any movies ever! My God, I hope that made sense. My point is: Roth is terrible. All of his movies are atrocious. How is he allowed to do anything except act in Tarantino pictures??

Nothing characters, a total waste of a Dutch Van Der Linde. Every other performer was total trash, nobody or not trying at all (Hart). This movie was cheap and SO FUCKING UGLY. Horrible audio mixing and 100% hideous CGI. This movie was so bad, I gave it a penalty of 15 minutes. I just skipped ahead fifteen minutes to inch myself closer to the end.

I can't stress enough how painful this movie is.

Welcome to Ditzy's Shit List, buster!

Easily one of my favorite music videos ever, which is saying something because I don't care about the song at all.

Rihanna, girl, I love you. This shit goes so hard. From the nudity to the excess to the real actors, shit's awesome. It's based on true events and keeps things violent, spicy, vibrant and absolutely debauched throughout, I love it.

Cool ass edits, amazing costumes, and an unforgettable conclusion; this is one for the books.

The in-universe offerings of the OCCU can vary pretty heavily and I gotta say, Final Conclusion is a forgettable entry. It works in the special and does well in fomenting drama but taken on its own, it just kinda sucks.

Props for featuring this in a special and having it play directly into the events therein. Nothing worse than not being able to see Decker 4-6 because Adult Swim keeps them under lock and key forever and ever. No, I'm not bitter at all.

OCCU in-universe materials unfortunately suffer from an increasingly professional visual sensibility with the same amateurish edits and acting layered in to keep it funny. There is a fundamental disconnect forming wherein the undeniable production quality makes the flubs increasingly hard to reconcile. When the editing is all super tight and the cinematography is dynamic and competent, it makes the mistakes and Mark abuse seem random, contrived even.

Tim made his point; Joey killed Toni's son against the wishes of G Amato. Obvious lies propagated by the obnoxious charlatan, LaRue.

Not great but a little funny at times.

I liked that one! I found myself pretty invested in the rat-laden, rotting Movie House and its destruction was a proper albeit predictable conclusion. It made me sad seeing Gregg lose his beloved project to Tim's negligence but lets not kid ourselves in thinking Turkington lacks all blame. What we can all agree on, however, was that Joe Estevez was pretty based for walking out at the end - an absolute class act. Joe deserves so much more than the likes of Gregg and New.

I like how Mark has transitioned gradually from being an impressionist friend of Gregg's to this brain-damaged slave/fall guy. So much of his suffering is so funny but I always feel bad for laughing. That's what On Cinema has always been great for; uncomfortable, guilty hilarity.

Toni Newman was there and I always love her. Her contributions weren't great this time around but she's a welcome player nonetheless. I hope the Final Conclusion film and her outburst thereafter lead to some climax in their relationship but who knows.

This one had some great resolutions. From the hilarious Final Conclusion film to Joey Patron arriving to the collapse. This was an exciting, high-effort special and I ire the upped ante, if you will. This one doesn't feel quite as big or exciting as Amatocon but it's a decent followup with lots of anticipation for the next chapters.

So New is now looking after the senile G Amato, over whom the former sprayed Joey with a lethal amount of rat poison. Gregg's beloved Movie House and yet another VHS collection is destroyed. It's a nice combination of the same old and new (no pun intended) with this one. Solid payoffs and ample anticipation.

This one didn't feel as profound or existential as the other features. It had its moments and justified its 3 hours but it didn't hit the same incessive chords. Eric Roberts fucking sucked in this too; a total letdown. Tim did well in improvising around his worthless, hyperbolized contributions but man, I hope he never gets brought back.

Pretty good.

I think this is a great, restrained adaptation with lots of interpretive value and depth. Like its source material, much of this film has been replicated in our culture with the most apparent example, to me, being Half Life 2; right down to the blue jumpsuits and sexual suppression.

The performances in this picture are irable although relatively immemorable. There were plenty of vulnerable, challenging moments but the droning banality of most of the film often made the nuance of the performances hard to appreciate. John Hurt would go on to make a great totalitarian dictator as Adam Sutler (nee Susan) in V for Vendetta twenty one years after this movie came out.

1984 is a story deserving of continued interpretation and preservation. I applaud this film for the simplicity and nigh timelessness of its presentation. There's nothing excessive or pretentious about this picture; it has nothing but abject respect for Orwell's novel and does nothing to eclipse it or drastically change the story. Obviously there are slight concessions but the essentials have remained. There is a moving integrity behind this film which should be recognized by other adaptors, if you will.

Unfortunately for 1984 (1984), it feels like a movie I'd watch in high school and hate. I did not see this movie in high school, mind you, but if there is one film I believe has put the most students to sleep, I think it would be this. The presentation is reserved and respectful but that yields something that feels kind of plain. I know in my heart of hearts that this picture will fleet from memory. It's a British film from the 1980s which is ferociously bleak and almost entirely colourless. I don't need my films to be abundantly expressive but they tend to resonate a little more when they are.

What I'm trying to say is, I will always enjoy something like Brazil (1985) (a highly stylized dystopian epic) more than this. I think this film is a very pure adaptation and its plight is commendable, but Orwell's message about narrative control, oppression, ideology and more has since been expressed in far more exciting and inventive ways, such as in the aforementioned Half Life 2. The fact that this film and Brazil came out within a year of each other speaks volumes about how the conversation developed between 1948 and 1985. Suffice it to say, while Nineteen Eighty-Four does tremendously in visualizing the classic novel, it was dated upon release and almost regrettably uninterested in societal and social developments since the initial publication. My disappointment in this movie is not just in its lack of flare, but in its fixation on the original narrative and rather than its applications to contemporary society.

Had to give this one final looksee before its public r*pe being held on May 23.

It's something of a comfort food in this house; Lilo and Stitch. Great art direction, music and characters. It's as subversive as Disney ever got with its kids' content; wholly original, focusing on an impoverished, broken family. There's something to be said for the bold story that is Lilo & Stitch. it doesn't pull punches and stays charming throughout. Add to that, it's respectful of the culture it depicts and charming with the culture it creates.

There are very few things about this picture that I dislike. Some of the humour is not great but even then, the timing is amazing and alot of it has aged quite well; particularly the fat, white tourist dropping his ice cream (a very easy visual gag entirely fucked up by the new film). Jumba gets off model weirdly often with his head increasing in size and his mouth and eyes taking on different shapes throughout. It's especially weird because Pleakley, Gantu and GC all stay on model throughout, despite having similarly challenging, strange body types.

The eyes are weird in this. I know they tried this style of eyes after the "Disney Eyes" were getting mocked publicity but I think they went a bit too far... apart, that is.

Great film, always fun. Good to watch again and again. I will show it to my nephew someday.

That was horrendously boring and bad. It made zero sense and was predicated on such a stupid, dull, narrow future that you had to exercise a veritable olympic routine of mental gymnastics to believe. Since everyone is a POV AR thing (sometimes with atrocious CGI hands), now there are no computers, security cameras, signs or emotions?? The failsafes surrounding the super POV AR society are also nonexistent - people can hack eachother with impunity, erase their visual signatures, delete OTHER PEOPLE's memories - it's just nonsense; fearmongering, anti-futurist glop.

Anon feels ancient despite being from 2018. It's about as prophetic as Logan's Run. It has no idea how human technology and aesthetic will advance and just throws it all to the wind. The Anon creators just shrugged and said, "Eh, it's all grey and everyone has a HUD but basically nothing else exists except guns and alcohol.

Horrible film. Every actor is wooden and completely bland. The colours are flushed and ugly. The costumes, sets and everything else about the production design is cheap as shit. Clive Owen was acting like Adam Driver in The Report. This movie cost nothing and nobody involved wanted to be there.

No profundity, impressive visuals or intrigue. Anon was dry, pretentious and pointless. It didn't strike any chord and when the twist villain appeared, all you could ask was, "Who the fuck is that?"

Hum drum atrocious Netflix original. Total ass.

Just as painful as I would have expected... but mercifully short.

Gregg babbles for forty minutes in an ignorant, obsessive screed about Blondie, James Dean, the Oscars, hell, even The Hobbit gets a mention. Spending time with Gregg seems like abject torture and this van tour is a powerful affirmation of that. He's talking about things that are not in sight, focusing on ancient movies that nobody cares about and he ends it off with handing out nasty bags of pre-popped corn.

I'm pretty sure that was a real, uninitiated group of windswept, bored tourists. I'd give anything to have been in their places.

The living movie guy seems nice enough but this tour is straight ass. Gregg's projects are all atrocious and while Tim may be a bumbling nitwit, he's never sank to the lows of a Turkington production. I'm SO glad Tim crashed and exploded this van.

This was a solid special. The end was explosive and awesome, G Amato proved to be a funny, awkward addition and the dickhole Joey also helped to shake things up. The Amato saga has proven to be a pretty neat one and the supposed "revelation" by Tim in the closing minutes was an organic, climactic note.

Toni, so glad to see her back. Her whole segment with the shooting and the atrocious "AI" sketch was hilarious, a real highlight. She's an always-welcome addition.

Even Dekkar and the Empty Bottle Players had a cool face off with their infighting culminating in a competition for who could best play that horrible, overplayed song. Suffice it to say, this was one of the better Oscar special musical interludes.

I really liked the Dodge Charger reward and Tim's breakdown upon not receiving it. His childlike excitement at being gifted this random 6 year old car was surprisingly adorable.

Lots of good edits and an understandably upset Joe Estevez rotting at his table. I love the larger scale with the "torturous convention" pretense. It all felt so real and unpleasant.

Not sure how I feel about Gregg's failed proposal. I'm not crazy about him being straight but his sad attempt to come out of his shell only to be shot down and humiliated - that was pretty good. They tried something new and weird so props for that. Gregg, though, having a discernable sexuality seems wrong and misaligned with his character. Now that they've opened that can of worms though, I'm excited to see who his next love interest may be.

Great special, good fun.

This is not essential viewing whatsoever for the On Cinemaverse but it's a good time nonetheless. Tim, Gregg and Joe are impressively high energy and the gags are great. I'll even it the closing number of Our Values are Under Attack was wonderful - a rousing moment!!

Tim shouts and does his rageaholism, Gregg rambles, Joe sputters, Manny and Ax are there; pretty standard. Like I said, this doesn't advance the plot or do much other than entertain for a couple hours. It plays like a generic Oscar Special complete with a live tracking of unfolding events - here, they fumble to decipher a false report of Woody Allen's death.

There were some crowd interactions with a special Stump the Buff that fell completely flat. Other bits include a live performance of Decker, live performance of Dekkar and lots of classic gags retooled for fun with a present audience. As some commentors observed, the house was FULL of Greggheads.

This sucks.

I'm sorry but I'm a "later the better" kinda guy when it comes to my Hamburgers. This was recorded in the year I was born, hardly resembles the character i love and doesn't confound, upset or delight.

It's just boring. Tedious, monotone junk. This is #notmyhamburger although truth be told, this does make me wonder about the Hamburger lore... how did he go from this normal, slightly frustrated bombing comedian to the nightmare incoherent alcoholic we know and endure?? I want to see all the transition fossils.

Despite that layer of extratextual intrigue, this sucks ass. No good at all. No memorable jokes or dunks, just a crummy, sad monologue.

"But that's my life." 😐

Frankly. I was always more of a SVU guy but this wasn't totally worthless. It had some cool violence, some decent acting bits and even a neat (albeit dated) edit or two. Mostly, though, it was moody boomers speaking to eachother in 15+ season "so done with this shit" monotone.

Feels like a show for sexually repressed people. Alot about kinks and affairs and weirdness. It's like, mom TV so maybe I shouldn't be surprised but this terrorist bombing plot took a weirdly debaucherous turn... not that there's anything wrong with that. I guess I just hate middle age people sex culture cause it's so smug and overcompensating.

SO many bad performances and cheesy confrontations. Shit writing and the unmistakable stink of production fatigue.

I watched it, of course, for bombing suspect Turkington getting a pouty mouth swab. He's not the culprit.

The Australians respond decently to the Hamburger antics. I just wish... i just wish that there was a way... It's a fuzzy world out there, kid. Yeah.

It's important to , in cases like these, that Gregg is capable of duplicity, violence and sabotage. He ran over LaRue, coaxed Ayaka back to the USA, told Tim to jump. Could he, would he break something in the car to increase the likelihood of a fatal crash? The VFA tour van... a small price to pay for Tim and Dekkar FINALLY gone forever. Who can blame Turkington for this potential, dubious transgression?

Anyways, Tim obviously tried to kill himself but Gregg might have done something evil again cause he's psychotic, hypnotic and misanthropic.

UGH NO NO PLEASE NO MORE DEKKAR 😭😭😭 ENOOOUGH.

A little funny and extremely uncomfortable, this one is intense and especially painful for Tim's laboured flirtation and Kirby's apparent horror.

Gregg and Joe get some classic inane dialogue in. We see how GAY Tim is for Manuel and it all culminates in a shitty skit which prompts Kirby to flee in terror. Never seen again.

Meh. Not great.

It's funny that Turkington's On Cinema persona is so anti-music because Neil Hamburger is heavily intertwined with the alt music scene. In this... curious picture... Hamburger introduces the shitty stop motion segment but cringing and talking about how bad the band is. Yeah, Neil, I agree.

Feels like these goobers played the same song like 9 times. Samey ass muhfuckin metal garbage. Who ever heard of Black Dahlia Murder anyway? They stink. I'd be willing to bet they're so worthless underground Portland group that nobody cares about. I mean, ffs, this album movie only has, like two thousand views, if that!! Embarrassing.

Not very good at all. Christmas themed metal music - atrocious idea and a bad aesthetic.

Pretty mid Hamburger material. Not a great crowd, not his best era of standup, alot of by-the-numbers material seen and heard in a bunch of his other works. MAN, he's samey. But, that's part of the bit, I guess.

Sin of sloth, rape, drug overdose, Michael Jackson, we fucking get it, Neil.

Christ, what a genius.

Not really my kinda thing but still pretty cool. Decent cinematography and audio engineering. Bad music and lame guys but I mean, it's assembled with know-how, intelligence even. Then again, it's a well polished case for awful music that nobody wants to listen to.

Oh, Hey, Neil Hamburger.

Yeah, rightly not picked up. Hamburger can't do the gameshow thing, I'm sorry, it's just too many kinds of pain all at once.

It's awkward, cheap, clunky and ridiculous. Never hits its mark or hits a good stride, it just offputs for a while but never delivers those slam-dunk Brule or Bedtime Stories moments.

This is the wrong personality in the wrong genre with too much adherence to a formula. It's a clunky mess which is deservedly lost to time.

We're back on track with this one. HEI ranch 9th felt forced and repetitive but this, oh this was just splendid; great twists and a real sense of progression. Tim's suicide attempt is genuinely haunting and his reaction, all while adorned as Pinocchio who's just torn the skin off his nose; it takes the drama to some great heights.

Gregg's shitty segments with Mark confused and upset, ahhh, feel like we're back at the amazing 5th special again. The praise to Gregg is a lovely subversion and the animosity formed organically as the show went on. Great use of all the characters, Love ya, Joe, and tons of great follow ups re: Amatos, Grain Water and HEI points probably being an elaborate money laundering scheme. I'm telling yall, this show has everything.

There are better and it takes a long time getting set up bur the lay off is great. Probably two too many sags in the action; long, boring bits where anticlimactic skits got set up. Glad LaRue is gone and hope he stays gone forever.

Pragmatic for the next steps.

Cute, very nice. A neat project with many implications and a cute cast of characters who worked hard assembleling it. The mall apartment's life is beautiful but the death is sad. It represented a precision strike on the Goliath of gentrification.

From dragging cinder blocks to playing GTA: San Andreas, there were so many curious ironies and notions of resistance against the brutalist, capitalist hell of mall culture; the ultimate Marxist infiltration. Parasite protest.

It was genuinely delightful and funny; good, light evening fare for two tired cinephiles; Rob (my husband) and I. It was just a good time - very endearing.

A strange, avante garde picture, Terminal USA is a quirked up roam through sexuality, cultural identity and politics. It had alot to do with this immigrant family and their bizarre personal and sexual lives intersecting in weird, sometimes poignant ways.

The style and their commitment to the dollhouse B movie aesthetic was irable. Lots of creative edits and things. There was alot in this to ire but the acting was smidge and it was generally stupid.

Darkly comedic and sort of perverted, Terminal USA is a bold vision executed decently enough. Its biggest folly is how annoying it is.

Watched it for young, skinny Gregg Turkington as a skinhead Nazi guy.

Really sucks ass. I have never been a big Jack Black fan and it remains that Kung Fu Panda is the greatest thing he ever did. This Tenacious D shit is so childish and stupid. It's stoner brainlessness with atrocious effects, writing, cinematography and music.

There was one sorta funny little satan-based monologue towards the end which was pretty funny. It was a neat ramble with some witty twists and turns. The rest of this, though, was just flat stupidness. Happy Madison tier goo for the most fried brains in America. Predictable garbage, do not watch.

Not worth seeing just for Neil Hamburger to say "That's my life!!" and then get ushered off stage. #justiceforhamburger

It starts strong with nostalgic editing, warm colours and familiar yet quirky familial situations. Some tired drama about "putting mom in a home" really blots out the joy for a while there but once the film's focus ends up glued onto some crazy teens, the film nosedives.

The quality of the first forty minutes cannot be overstated but the rest of it is dull, meandering shit. The only good part about the last hour or so is police officer Gregg Turkington using awkwardly procedural jargon in an attempt to seduce police officer Michael Cera, who politely turns down the advances. That shit was a little funny but even then, mostly slow and awkward.

Slow and awkward, yep, basically what this thing devolves into. All attention shifts to the weakest characters and paying attention proves challenging. It doesn't help that Christmas movies are the fucking worst.

"After the tragic deaths of my dog and my crack addicted niece, Hannah,
And the graft of pig skin onto my burnt hands,
And the pig palette transplant into my mouth,
As well as my divorce
And the subsequent misunderstanding that led to my wife being attacked by one of this show's PAs,
It's no surprise that I was ready for a lot of pork!"

That is the single best introductory ramble since Big Lewinski.

This show is America! It's so gruesome and sad. The priority of slop entertainment over family, the medical failures, the various cultures looking on in horror, the veiled threats, the nationalism, the public health, the horrible food, the necessity of death - SO MUCH. To "make it" or "pork it" in America is to lose yourself to the whims of an audience and as we all know, the price of popularity is your soul. Few works articulate this as well as Porkin' Across America

It's an amazing feature which really fails and dies and shit the bed in the last act but whatever, it's still alot of fun and SO funny.

I love Pig's Blood!!!

There are a few gags that work but this mostly really sucks. Patchy is always lame and so were all the dumb celebrity cameos. I was here for Gregg Turkington as a totally silent, live action camera operator. Frankly, not worth it. This special is kind of tiresome, pretty lame.

I don't liking this much as a boy and I still don't like it. The flashbacks all fail, the plot is mindless and very few of the interactions manage anything resembling that early Sponge charm.

This movie has a casting director called Mark Landon Smith; he is an actor and playwright who appeared briefly as Calvin Coolidge in Killers of the Flower Moon.

Wow, what a crock of shit. A total rip off of a ton of better crime thrillers, most notably Silence of the Lambs. Concepts, dynamics and entire lines of dialogue are ripped from the 1991 classic. Despite this movie being 31 years newer, it looks 5x worse.

when that one Jokester scene was cut from The Batman for being "too Hannibaly"? In that spirit, this whole movie should have been thrown in the trash. This movie is like Longlegs - a horrendous tryhard pastiche which nobody will or care about. It wants to be so many things but has nothing to say.

The knowledge they grain from the pretentiously named "Artist" serial killer is totally obvious shit they should already be seeing. Bro is like, "Check the wings >:3" like WHY DID YOU NOT ALREADY CHECK THE DEATH VIGNETTE WINGS, YOU ARE POLICE. Fuck...

Frustrating, horrendous movie with some talented people in it. Nothing against them, this script is dogshit and the director is Mauro Borrelli
.
Melissa Roxburgh is really bad in this. John Malkovich... woof. I see him in ALOT of bad movies. He's tryin, God bless 'im, but he needs a better agent, says I.

I have seen, like, a dozen Mindcages. All pretentious and indulgent and occupied entirely by characters we've seen 1,000,000 times. It's so boring and predictable. Martin Lawrence tried but... he's not cut out for shit like this.

Oh... must we always resort to dumb supernatural stuff? Why can't we have human stories about real people and things and not this high-minded hooey. These low fantasy crime things usually suck warty ass. There's a big difference between artistically otherworldly like Se7en and garbage like this. Voodoo? Awe, crumbs.

It looks okay but the music is atrocious and there's way too much stock audio.

The end... oh the ending. It's really fucking bad. From the opening to the ridiculous Artist backstory (his prostitute mom shoved him once) to the ridiculous final """"""twist"""""""", this thing is ass crackers front to back.

Horrendous. Typical Netflix slime.

This is life, this is exactly how your life will go. Not to the detail but this is basically the size of it; you get some scruples, some love, folks you miss, folks you pretend to hate and all I can say is, "smoke life to the butt."

Solid, sad but informed in its existentialism. A highly specific snapshot with harrowing undercurrents of universality for those with eyes to see.

Not very good animation, though.

A beautiful movie about a righteous struggle; a religious branch born in the throes of oppression and carved into history as a vital chapter in the story of civil rights. The Nation of Islam is a curious and oft-avoided part of America's history which has challenged many with its progressive values, unity, dignity and dogma. This comprehensive film explores all of these facets as well as the minutiae of the movement and the rise of Malcolm X as their most influential figure. The movie is many things, but never reductive.

Obviously the performances in this are top-notch. Denzel kills it as X, Bassett is perfect as Shabazz and while it's a smaller role, Giancarlo Esposito is an ominous player as X's killer; Thomas Hayer. From the stars to the secondaries to the bits, every performance in this was amazing.

This film is a great educational tool which handles its subject matter with grace and respect but it's not composed in a way I found to be especially engaging. I respect the runtime as necessary for such an important figure and ideology but I'll it it didn't really hook me. I'll not forget it but I also probably won't return to it.

Very well written and featuring some halfway decent visuals and music, Malcolm X' best features are its performances and its writing. The end sequence with Nelson Mandela was beautiful. Films like this, Black Kkklansman and Schindler's List do well to have the movie end on a note of stark reality; a great transition from the narrative to its sweeping implications about society, then, now and forever more.

Pretty mid documentary. It gives the facts, keeps your attention, doesn't overstay its welcome. Yeah, not too bad. It totally fails at endearing us to its subject but that's okay, I guess.

I don't think this would be better if it were more condemnatory. There are parts that make LK look like a messiah. At the same time, though, he is a scraggly, puffy weirdo who eats organs and dopes up for TikTok fame. In that; the framing is immaterial as the facts themselves paint the picture of a druggie charlatan; a common "influencer" selling a schizophrenic lifestyle and some disgusting supplements. He's not a loveable anti-hero like Tiger King. He's a horrendous father and even giving him the benefit of the doubt, he's a dime-a-dozen social media novelty act. Nothing about him fascinates or delights. He's just worrisome and gross.

It ends a bit too warmly for having covered such a dark, weird creature. He's a snake oil salesman who doesn't know to rotate his crops; change up the scam. He was caught, itted being a faker and is continuing to try to sell this dumb, insane lifestyle, like, move the fuck on.

I'm just a weird vegan, though, what do I know. Blah blah liberal tears...

Rob said some really smart stuff about this so maybe it doesn't actually suck total ass. It's kinda smart I guess...

Sorry.

It's alot of fun. This in-universe paratextual subnarrative takes on a very cute Neil Breen quality. It's so dorky and obsessed. The duplicate characters, the rambling, the total lack of respect for the audience. Ghetto ass production, the leads are wooden, the effects are godawful and it's unfinished.

It's a travesty informed by the complicated, brilliant lore of its tangential anime. This spin-off experience ponders its source materials, copies, expands but also... kinda sucks.

Yeah.

Simply amazing - one of the best interactions in the show's history, not only for Estevez' complete helplessness but also for Tim's A-game takedown of Gregg.

Tim may have made an irredeemable piece of shit but by God, he knew that Turkington's vision was a fucking travesty and as soon as he starts to articulate that, you slowly realize that he's actually totally right... for once

Gregg can't make anything. Every piece of content he controls is unintentionally upsetting and weird. He's psychotic and can't lead people constructively. No charisma, no talent, just lunacy. This special lays bare his derangement as well as his ego.

Tim and he have tiny, cute concessions during which Estevez openly cheers only for things to devolve into bitter bickering about totally incongruent visions colliding into a single, atrocious film.

Brutal, beautiful and genuinely cute. Every character is extemely interesting and their reflections on life, society and the immigrant experience are endearing and profound. This movie made me reflect, ponder even. It was moving and deeply human - unpretentious yet thoughtful.

Obviously Turkington stole the show. On top of all these ponderous explorations of diaspora, the cherry on top is this pasty refugee psychologist who's equal parts tender and awkward. He brings a great, stuffy, sullen edge. He played a sort of woeful man who grins and cares. Gregg Turkington is seriously the best awkward branded personality actors of our age. It's not Michael Cera, it's not Rainn Wilson and it's not Steve Buscemi (although that one's a close call.) Gregg Turkington has mastered being insufferable. His monotone, repetitive, ass backwards rambles about nothing are hypnotic and brilliant. Whether it's this, On Cinema, Neil Hamburger uhhh... idk Antman?? Point is; Five Bags :3

A pretty snappy answer to some pretty stupid questions. Haha, just kidding, I know that's blasphamous to write in regards to the National Lampoon movie but lets be honest, the legacy of that publication exists largely in the title of some off-beat Chevy Chase pictures, much less so the raunchy publication that preceded them.

This self indulgent little picture details the life and times of Lampoon's founder Douglas Kenney from his college years up until his ing. It's silly and quippy and filled with fourth wall breaks. It's pretty well structured in the spirit of the comedy stylings it's dramatizing. I didn't laugh once.

Don't let my joylessness throw you off though, it's a fine movie. Lots of poppy colours and neat cameos. It delves into the making of Caddyshack and Animal House, two films I have not seen and have no connection with. I liked the guy they got to play the aimless and dopey Rodney Dangerfield. By the film's own ission, they could not find good likenesses for many of the classic comedians of the age and I'll be honest, I forgot who many of them were supposed to be after the initial text flashes - of which there were almost too many. I'm pretty sure they had the main boring guy from Community as Chevy Chase but I don't fuckin know. Belushi looked alright. Bill Murray was a huge stretch.

Great to see that big boy with the butter, Matt Lucas in a horrible wig. Speaking of horrible wigs, poor Will Forte in the lead with that shit hair. I don't think he can pull off feature length material like this. I don't know that I've ever seen him lead in a film before and after this, I think that's for the better. Not a single part of this thing was funnier than Quilting with Will, Usable Human Bones or J.J. Peppers Videography. Forte is great in short bursts but in something of this length, pretty charmless.

Speaking of charmless, the unrecognizable Domhnall Gleeson played Henry Beard in a drab, loveless portrayal that leads me to think that Netflix money is nothing to write home about.

This reminds me of some other better-than-hogshit Netflix comedy things like Dolemite is my Name - the sorts of pictures I won't return to but I don't look back on with disdain or aggravation.

What can I say, I have no joy in my heart so sitting down and watching a film like this is a futile and stupid gesture. All the same, it was competent, had some smidges of style and had a certain gatling absurdity that is appealing at first but dims quickly. This picture felt like that Weird Al Yankovic film from a few years ago; kind of annoying but not wholly worthless.

"I sell dirty books." - Gregg Turkington (Amazing cameo)

I did not walk into Bridesmaids expecting to see a film with a substantial, vast and lasting cultural influence but I can't deny that tons of chick flicks/road comedies since 2011 have taken immensely from this movie. The comedic stylings of Paul Feig are middling to say the least but credit where it's due; this film left its mark.

There were some kinda funny parts but it was mostly a series of mishaps and misunderstandings culminating in unlikely albeit not impossible chaotic climaxes. While these nutball fiasco scenes were plentiful (dress shop, bridal shower), the only one that made me genuinely laugh was the plane debacle solely because the quick cut to Rita and Becca making out was genuinely hilarious. I didn't laugh much at all while watching this, though.

It may be a slightly above average rom-com but that's not saying much. The cast is fucking STACKED with comedic powerhouses, all of whom are squandered on predictable material. I love Rudolph, Kemper, McCarthy, Heidecker, Crews, Ham and that creepy, squishy, adorable Matt Lucas. None, however, manage to deliver on anything save for the occasional chuckle.

The romance in this sucked ass. It was mid-life crisis protagonist and the cute Irish cop who kept pulling her over. They have their meet cute, have some sex, she pushes him away, they fight, they break up, they kiss, they make up. It's lame as hell and bog standard for the genre. I hate these perfect, cutesy rom com love interests. I hate them so much.

This could have been great but it's the guy who directed Ghostbusters (2016) so lets not get too excited. There are just so many seriously funny people involved but they all kinda suck in this. Alot of the obviously improvised material was also just plumb horrible. I can enjoy some cringe comedy from time to time but man, packaged this plainly, it's not my bag.

1.5 for making me laugh a few times and for managing to create a massive ripple in the genre and set a new, raunchy bar but ehh. This isn't my kind of thing.

Watched it for Tim Heidecker who did and said basically nothing.

That's a great movie and i had a blast returning to it this evening. It's bleak, stylized, deliciously morbid and phenomenally paced.

This movie holds your attention and then sticks with you forever. The violence is so bright, it's practically dazzling. The drug sequences are really beautiful and cut through the miserable procedures with a sting of opal transcendence.

Karl Urban was born to play Dredd and the rest of the cast is great too, especially Hux as that eyeless tweaker twink creep. I can't stand Ma-Ma though; the performance and design suck. She never sells it as the psychotic prostitute turned Machiavellian slum lord. That character is awesome in concept but botched in execution. I will say, though, that her death is one of my favorite villain comeuppances.

Some of those blood special effects aren't aging great and some of the dialogue is clichéd and lame. Rob, who'd never seen the film, managed to predict, like, five dialogue finishers and that betrays a weakness in the writing.

It's a blast to watch and visually, amazing. The world-building, characters and art direction are off the chain and I remain pissed that this never got a sequel.

They got the world's fattest man (Isaac Plumbo) to make a cameo during the lockdown scene.

Integrity, ion, duplicity, scandal, lust, power, ambition, ideology, Nostalgia - so many amazing explorations in this film. So angles and perspectives it tackles all while delivering on brilliant characters and exciting drama.

I went into this becaue, well, John Travolta plays a Bill Clinton approximation. I was really let down in my recent presidential saga at the lack of compelling Bill Clinton depictions and this film hung in the wings as something that I couldn't really count as having a real life president portrayal but it seemed interesting enough to check out. I digress. Travolta knocks this role out of the park. It's a really apt, biting look into the curious world of 1990s liberalism and Travolta's charm, sleaze, indulgence and wit is nothing short of fascinating.

This movie had me locked in because even though Travolta was a Clinton, so many characters felt fresh and interesting. The best were Kathy Bates' crazy lesbian and Larry Hagman as the last minute Republican integrity nominee. Hagman and Bates both did phenomenally and their downfalls in this film were crushing. Bates' character broke after the integrity well dried up and Hagman's character broke after his past caught up all thanks to a bid for redemption. Amazing, really compelling stuff.

Omg speaking of great actors in this, Emma Thompson did very well as the Hillary. Just WOW. I think whatserface from Special Relationship was a smidge better but still, Thompson really sold it and her rage was fucking frightening.

Loved Rob Reiner, Tony Shalhoub and Adrian Lester too - FUCK, so many good performances. It's unfortunate that the music isn't great and it's maybe 10 minutes too long. I don't know, there's very little that's bad about this movie. Even the visual sensibility was off the chain with that positively haunting inaugural dance at the end and the beautiful Oak Alley Plantation as the setting for the epic Stanton v. Picker exchange.

Little bits work great in this film with even brief characters leaving their mark. This movie ranges from cutting to charming and has some great examinations of political legacy and the double edged blade of press. I found it to be informed and brimming with insight and allegory.

Sorry to gush. I'll concede that it jumped the shark when Kathy Bates threatened to blow the audio doctor's penis off with a magnum. Bad ass scene, though, just a little too silly.

It hooked me with the Clinton shit but when it took off, man, I was locked in. I'm sad this film doesn't have much of a legacy but that's how it goes sometimes. Critics liked it but it didn't make any money so, yknow, womp womp.

Travolta confounds me. The motherfucker is so bad in so much and just when I've dismissed him outright, I see something like this where he actually really sells it. In what could have been a cheap imitation, he owned it and his classical charm and handsomeness leant very well to the character.

Great!!

This kinda blows and I'm glad it didn't get picked up. I really don't think there was much to be done with the concept of animating Decker and this blithe little narrative promises precious little in the way of continuation.

In of On Cinema adjacent materials, it's pretty standard fare. Nothing cements it in an era or sets it apart from the rest. The dynamics are the same as usual with Tim being all lovey, chummy and superior with Ax and Manny, abusing Mark and being short with Gregg.

Gregg's animated appearance in this is probably the best part of it. Every other design ranges from mid to atrocious.

Haha Tim can't read. We know. We've done this, it's old hat. He's drunk, angry, egotistical and deranged. This pilot treads very familiar ground and does nothing to justify itself independent of existing On Cinema/Decker Materials. Rob also did not care for it but i doubt he'll log it.

That's a money laundering/10 for me, dog. Pretty sure 4tastic Films or whatever the fuck they're called is just an elaborate crime front which operates in the realm of Asylum-tier filmmaking with half the budget and a third of the notoriety. They do, however, have a smidge more integrity, assuming they're not just a bunch of criminals, which they are. They have the wherewithal to make things other than naked ripoffs although if Terror Trap is what they're offering up, maybe they should consider a Mockbuster or two.

I saw this movie's trailer on the DVD for Slave. It had the eternally drunk and fat Michael Madsen as well as the Barbecue guy from Planet Terror. How could I resist?

Well, I wish I had resisted because this was a bag of poo. Horrible acting, editing, effects and writing. I'd like to add, also, that the Wikipedia for this film is pure shit - one of the most poorly written articles on the site - straight up Chapter 27 tier.

Ah well, ya can't win em all. Sometimes you get a movie like Terror Trap which makes you think, "man, I need to pick up my medication and a fresh bottle of shampoo tomorrow."

Need a place to go and watch a picture show?
It's unique, boutique; The Screening Room.
Kingston's only downtown cinema; a cool and cozy gem.

So silence that phone, leave your worries at home, take an armchair vacation to sights unseen.
Fly solo, with friends or take a date, it's great - REAL BUTTER - The Screening Room.

• Godzilla Minus One
• Freud's Last Session
• Dicks: The Musical
• The Killer
• The Monk and the Gun
• All of Us Strangers
• Poor Things
• Ferrari
• The Holdovers
• Saltburn

...plus 117 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

My 100 least movies in no particular order. This list is for the totally worthless scum pictures which abuse the artform with their offerings.

Lazy, annoying, repulsive, hateful and unethical movies are listed here as those are the worst things a film can be.

• Frankenstein Complex
• A Minecraft Movie
• Star Wars: Episode II – Attack of the Clones
• The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies
• Chapter 27
• Canyon Trail
• Preaching Lies
• Naked Twister
• American Comedy
• The Nudels of Nudeland

...plus 90 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

Red ass posters. I love red ass posters. These are they.

:3

• Sinners
• Alien: Romulus
• The Image of You
• Inkabi
• Monkey Man
• Freud's Last Session
• Boy Kills World
• Black Barbie
• Infinity Pool
• How to Blow Up a Pipeline

...plus 134 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

Thesis Statement: Ideology influences every cinematic depiction of a real life American president.

These are narrative films I have seen where real life American presidents have been portrayed by actors (W. 2008). If they are not portrayed by actors, they are animated (I, Pet Goat II) or otherwise given a fictionalized depiction. This does not include manipulated stock audio unless it is accompanied with a visual actor/animated depiction (Escalation 1968).

I am not including allegorical presidents because the function of this list is not to examine fictional characters who stand in for real presidents (Primary Colors 1998). This list only seeks to examine and catalog dramatizations of American presidents in narrative films.

While there are some docudramas (Killing Lincoln 2016) and films that were originally released as miniseries' (Eleanor and Franklin 1976), there are no documentaries (Kissinger Penis 2004) or whole-cloth miniseries (John Adams 2008) allowed on this list. In this, I am studying narrative films (movies) and their depictions of American presidents. I do not care about how television treats these presidents and frankly, that's a list for somebody else.

If someone were to make that hypothetical television president analysis, we could share television films. There are dozens of television films included here and I feel I have comprehensively cataloged even the most obscure entries - right down to those made by now-defunct studios or aired on terminated channels.

In that vein, there are some lost films included on this list. I did not include any lost films that I could find none of, though. Every lost film logged here has some indication as to what the presidential depiction might have been like. Such as the extremely rare Commission (2003). In the instance of that film, I knew it only contained Gerald Ford (1974-1977) and that it detailed his and others' work on the Warren Commission analyzing Kennedy's death. From that, I can glean that it's a young Gerald Ford in his Representative days possibly interviewing Jack Ruby, drafting the commission and standing by its findings to the bitter end. While we don't know that for certain, the sparse clips online have indicated as much. Only with the partially lost films will we need to make inferences about the presidential depictions therein. No film with zero information about it has been logged here (Flying Into Love 2012). When I am making inferences about movies I have not seen the entirety of, I will indicate as much, lest I make an inaccurate statement. I will, of course, correct any accidental falsehoods I write in this piece as needed.

I welcome any and all critiques or corrections in this project. I am only 25 years old and have no formal historical or film degrees, although I did study both in university. All of that is to say, I might make mistakes in my interpretations or evaluations. My bias and my being an autistic Canadian are hinderances which will inevitably factor into my examinations. I will be editorializing to some degree as the political and ideological undercurrents, I feel, necessitate a modern political perspective. I will not mince words when I find an old movie is fucking racist. Suffice it to say, if a film heaps praise upon (or is needlessly critical of) a person I think is undeserving of it, I will make a point to mention that.

I don't know quite where the actual content of my analysis will begin. Will I discuss how an era of films (say, 1900-1930) depicted their presidents? Will I just kick it off with George Washington? Or maybe more interestingly, Joe Biden? Must I initiate at some arbitrary early point or can I just say, "Fuck it; Villain Presidents." There are several modes by which this list can be approached and I want to do separate sections on different categorizations. Time (2017), individual (James Buchanan), common feature (Exposed Breasts), common actor (Randy Quaid), common director (Oliver Stone), duration (short film) or even Nation of production (Great Britain).

Yeah.

• The Battle Cry of Peace
• Janice Meredith
• America
• The Flag: A Story Inspired by the Tradition of Betsy Ross
• Alexander Hamilton
• The Phantom President
• The Road Is Open Again
• Are We Civilized?
• Give Me Liberty
• Sons of Liberty

...plus 364 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.