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Tom Cruise is back with his fake final movie and it's just as unreliable as it sounds.

As a long-running franchise, "MI" has always been nothing less than a glorified spy-action airport novel one might bring along a trans-Pacific flight to fall asleep quick. It never, if rarely, holds itself up as a compelling nor consequential source of emotional catharsis, and, as far as the franchise-peak "Fallout" is concerned, is much better off for it. Because of this, I can't help but find it highly pretentious and a downright silly little thing to frame the culmination of this—once again—*fake* ending as something worth getting emotional over by any stretch of the imagination. It's almost a twist unto itself to realize, "wait, you're telling me I was supposed to be emotionally invested all along?" Really, it's embarrassing for Cruise and audiences alike to be so presumptive about what spiritually amounts to a 1200-calorie burger (and over a main character who's implicitly named after a sexual innuendo: Ethan Hunt = Eating *unt.)

But beyond problems of melodrama and lowbrow subliminal messaging, the film suffers another two aspects which undermine what few strengths it might have had. First and foremost, "Final Reckoning" does not (and I want to reiterate: NOT) deserve its near 3-hour-long runtime. What we have here, in reality, is a roughly 1-hour Ethan Hunt movie couched in-between a litany of completely random side characters who come and go as the story sees fit. You must understand, the majority of this movie is made up of non-baked who's-whos of strangers who’re given an unwarranted amount of special attention for reasons that fold into the second issue: weird casting.

Broadly speaking, if we take a look at the trend of "Mission: Impossible" movies from first to latest, what we'll find is a right-skewed distribution of more and more dysgenic physiognomy matching that of Zeta Reticulans, Black Dahlia, and Mel Gibson's "Apocalypto". In other words, the types of roles were purposefully pre-planned to target specific archetypes which serve nothing to the plot, main cast, overall tone, nor pretty much anything you'd expect out of a Cruise-led "MI" movie. In fact, the more than half's worth of scenes is dictated by strategically posing these side characters like a low-key personal fantasy applied by the writers and producers and, perhaps, Cruise himself.

The dilemma of "Reckoning" then becomes waiting for it to get to where it should naturally go if not for first stopping at thinly-veiled implications about outsider issues. It's a hard thing to easily describe without seeing it firsthand, but it's certainly there and certainly overt. Because of this, I ended up truly rooting for the Entity to achieve global nuclear annihilation in hopes Cruise might be spared future heartache about his inevitably worse sequels.

Cruise has garnered a reputation of being the so-called "last Hollywood movie star" willing to put out straight-laced, propaganda-free, audience-minded blockbusters reminiscent of the early aughts and shadows of the '90s. With "Final Reckoning", it should be noted that this reputation, if ever were true, is no longer, and the concentric circles that parrot the line (i.e., redditors) must have an irresistible appetite for burgers and fries, but not so much Ethan Hunt.

Watched on Sunday May 11, 2025.

Watched on Thursday May 1, 2025.

I strongly suspect Netflix or some other producer mandated Gareth Evans make several tonal, narrative, and casting concessions to this film. The writing here is noticeably uncharacteristic to the rest of Evans' filmography and is much more in line with the kind of Netflix/reddit swill that's become so suffocatingly popular nowadays. Idk, maybe it's easier for me to imagine the director of both "Raid" movies bent a knee for the sake of producing an altered vision than to have voluntarily made all these foolish decisions in the first place. Either way, the final result remains a visually ugly, boringly plotted, and near incomprehensible mess of shaky-cammed action (a style of action directing, as it turns out, Evans killed only to unceremoniously revive.)

The main issue is that, discounting the reshoots, "Havoc" is too much like two or three different movies spliced together, pulling what should've been Hardy's and Olyphant's core story into multiple directions, and creating this awkward dynamic where several B-plots vye for attention, like a subversive alien influence or narcissistic black holes. What begins as a pulpy, gritty crime thriller promising violence and suspense quickly devolves into a superhero origin story pastiche, where side character are elevated to the detriment of Hardy's lead, and all attempts at proper storytelling gets subverted, subliminally meddled with, and strategically replaced with a visually, sometimes physically, uglier experience.

This really does feel like multiple cooks in the kitchen demanding different ingredients be used only to end up with a concoction of mystery meat and a rotten smell of sulfur. In this way, I can't help but compare this to Zack Snyder's "Justice League" in that it's one of the ugliest movies I've seen with a similarly scattershot and counterbalanced plot. Hopefully Evans has yet to reach his ceiling and can escape whatever monkey or devil that's been hanging on his shoulder, because witnessing a talented director be sublimated by the Hollywood machine is very sad.

For a near 3-hour-long movie, there isn't much meat to the plot pound for pound. The first hour consists of Dr. Schutlz taking Django under his wing to train him on gunslinging, bounty hunting, and acting like a free man, but the particularities of how this goes about is mostly uneventful and, hence, could've easily been trimmed to less than 30 minutes.

I've always imagined the various directions this section of the story could've gone, like encountering a competing pair of bounty hunters going after the same target, or maybe Django rescuing Dr. Schutlz in some form, making the latter's motivation to help him that much more believable. As it is, the first hour runs on too thin a plot, doing very little to build upon the duo's teacher-student relationship, and keying the audience to the hows and whys behind their respective outlooks.

Outside a series of superficial flashbacks, you are never made to feel Django's apparent trauma as an ex-slave. Instead, he begins and ends as a fetishized superhero. You never understand Dr. Schutlz's worldview, only that it's meant to be ahead of its time and represents a simplified version of "he is good..." for the modern audience to relate to and think to themselves, "...like me." Both superheroes compliment one another's status as the default moral good guys, which is exactly the kind of black and white philosophical nuance you'd expect out of a Looney Tunes-coded director like Tarantino.

Yes, applying cartoon logic to style is far more endearing than applying it to substanceless finger wagging. There's a smug self-satisfaction that's laced throughout the entire movie, which wouldn't be so hard to stomach if not for imagining to one's self the kind of pedestrian movie-goer who bumbles into the theater, popcorn bucket in hand, drooling along to the symphony of midwittery exploding on screen. This movie is someone's idea of a smart person's movie and I can't help but be morbidly entertained along at them. There's no intelligence or wisdom to be met, only a delinquent seething rage directed at God knows who or what.

"Warfare" is, without hyperbole, the first and only Anglosphere movie I've enjoyed from the 2020s, which is a suspicious but welcome surprise coming from Garland. I say "suspicious" only because the movie, contrary to popular opinion, seems exceptionally free of the same subversive messaging found in the rest of his filmography, let alone actual pro-war movies. It's ironic that the singular time Garland holds himself ideologically back is when he gets accused of bias the most (only this time not by me.)

Imo, many are seeing Warfare's "6" completely upside-down and the movie is far more detached, respectful, and fair-minded than what's been ed for. In reality, what's shown is nothing more or less than an episode of war; a slice-of-life in the middle of an intensifyingly lethal situation, recreated in highly technical, jargonisitic detail and all without an overtly moral lens. Sure, you do sympathetically wish for the infantrymen to get out alive with their limbs intact, but it's never at the expense of someone else's. On some level, you wonder to yourself what any of the soldiers personally hope to accomplish beyond an early retirement or thrill-seeking. These thoughts naturally circle one's mind, pauses when a bomb goes off, then races even faster than before: "Why would you sign up for THIS?!"

Of course, "this" happened all the way back in the mid 2000s, when the zeitgeist surrounding war and American culture was very differently positioned than it is a couple decades on. Although somewhat of a tangential point, people back then were more receptively gung-ho about serving for duty, so it's hard to imagine newer generations commit themselves to the same ordeal and easy to forget that many respectable people got fooled into fighting a senseless war. But then again, this is easier said in hindsight.

I quite frankly have no idea what's going on this entire movie. Vaguely, I think Doc must've stumbled across a fed-backed drug smuggling operation fronted by a Nazi cult or something. To understand the plot I'd really have to sit down with a notepad and connect the dots scene by scene, which I will of course never do.

Common sense would suggest to freewheel and let the story take you where it needs to take you, but the ambiance and meandering narrative design makes it hard to relax. The majority of the film consists of characters having occasionally funny, mostly boring, always confounding conversations about, I gather, a conspiracy within a conspiracy and tangentially connected subplots. Sidestepping the plot is implausible when it's all anyone talks about.

Ultimately, this movie has a nasty habit of introducing questions and answers without properly explaining why its pertinent to anything. Bigfoot apparently has a corrupt ex-partner he's trying to protect: was that a plot point or did I just ignorantly make it up? Why is Coy allowed off his leash, shouldn't the feds have disappeared him for spilling their op to Doc? Why's that Jade so forthcoming with her insider knowledge, especially since she's a self-itted money launderer? Very perplexing. How does Sauncho know so much about the Golden Fang and, for that matter, who even is Sauncho? This guy's supposed to be a lawyer? Odd.

I think PTA was going for what Tarantino describes as a "hangout" movie, one that's two and a half hours long but goes by buttery smooth, and full of enough quirky, eccentric characters to entertain itself. But alas, the film's a big, fat slog with an awkwardly cast lead actor. A decade out and my bag of questions only continues to grow richer.

A brutal retelling of Jesus' capture and subsequent crucifixion. I've read a few nuanced discussions online that go into the historicity of torture depicted and agree that what's shown, particularly the flogging portion, goes beyond human endurance. Though this isn't to detract from the actual , but to say Gibson's adaptation of some of those s is occasionally maximalized.

Evidently, this isn't a film you can really enjoy in the traditional sense, but more like a documentary or complimentary study. Because the movie takes place at the tailend of Jesus' life, little context can be gleaned without some active or ive knowledge of Christian canon. You're expected to be familiar with the players involved and perhaps superficially about the Roman occupation at least. Otherwise, there's always Gibson's directional prowess to find entertainment value in.

Gibson's willingness and borderline fixation to represent history via language (as opposed to ancient Judeans and Romans grossly speaking in a British or Transatlantic accent) is irable and should be standard practice. The mother tongue really helps to ground the movie, making it feel slavish to the period, which is exactly what you'd want. If the sequel ever gets produced, I hope he sticks to this style of historical drama, forcing audiences to read and focus on the subtitles makes for a far more meaningfully engaging experience.

Watched on Saturday April 12, 2025.

"Magnolia" has one of the most beautiful, heavenly endings I've ever seen to a movie. It's been stuck in my mind for days now, how one random person's grace can become the catalyst for another's redemption. Yes, the movie's full of angry, loveless, confused, and traumatized people, but the cure isn't complicated. Like in that Black Box Recorder song, the movie's tagline should basically read: "Life is unfair / Kill yourself or get over it." There’s no real karmic math behind why bad things happen to who and when, sometimes bad luck simply befalls and one's only bet is to make it to the aftermath.

Watched on Monday April 7, 2025.

Watched on Monday April 7, 2025.

Watched on Sunday April 6, 2025.

Watched on Thursday April 3, 2025.

Inflexible ethics seeks to defy gravity and it (surprisingly) ends as you'd expect. In most other circumstances, complete abandon of one's self-preservation would be considered an onset of folie a deux, but neither men nor woman look as crazed as they should be. In fact, it's just the opposite, with each staring frighteningly sober at the faces of their resolution. Mifune's character, Isaburo, especially, propels himself forward like an unstoppable object seeking more and more walls to break through or a kamikaze pilot anticipating the end. In my mind, this movie stands as a testament to a person's moral steel, how black and white their standards are when faced with multiple shades of grey.

Too anachronistic to fairly judge with modern eyes yet recognizably kino enough to shadow over both the inferior remakes. Watched out of pure curiosity and helped by Jill Tracy's darkly terrific score.

I am in borderline apotheotic adoration of this movie's cinematography and only dream future dramas get shot using outdated 2k digital hardware. Yes, the movie front to back looks like burned parchment on toast soaked in piss and vinegar, but the affect it manages to convey is so instinctively beautiful and "folksy" that you can't help but fall madly in love. It reminds me of Michael Mann's visuals mixed with Bergman's writing styles, both being stripped down in a way.

Storywise it speaks to 21st-century adults (millennials) and the socioeconomic rat race they are heavily implied to never win. While itself a universal message, the inclusion of a heavy-handed jellyfish metaphor gives the impression of something lost in translation. Because the movie often shifts between genres and tones, I imagine this jellyfish to be like a connecting tissue holding disparate parts together, a connection far better served by the father character Kurosawa consequently turns redundant. No, the father is the real jellyfish, with the original being an offbeat distraction.

Watched on Thursday March 13, 2025.

Watched on Tuesday March 11, 2025.

Watched on Thursday February 27, 2025.

A purely vibes-oriented movie about a beatnik youth born in the wrong generation, a seeming stand-in of how Jarmusch thinks himself.

The boy, Allie, is portrayed in this romanticized, oversentimental fashion, coming back fresh off the streets—from God knows where—to what seems to be an old but estranged flame. The couple, college age but acting like divorced 40-somethings, paint a picture of either children who grew up too fast or adults suffering a case of arrested development. There, he dances, recites a age, and just as quickly announces his departure (see: title.)

The movie then becomes almost sarcastic in its willingness to lead the way as it meanders through Manhattan from side character to side character, not really satisfying any sense of curiosity which made Allie stop in the first place or second, third, fourth. Rather, the quirky characters are treated more like a pretense to introduce vaguely in vogue social sciences chapter notes about mental illness, poverty, inexplicable wars with China (it's the economy, stupid?) and housing conditions, among other choice surface-levels.

As a cluster of emo angst, pseudointellectual insights, and vibe orientation, this movie will filter out anyone who now cringes at their teenage selves. But to the rest not far off from Allie, it all hits too close to home to pretend to not like on some candid level. It's a movie better suited for certain types of people with specific kinds of childhoods, apropos a debut.

Watched on Friday February 14, 2025.

Watched on Sunday January 19, 2025.

1. Mulholland Drive
2. Blue Velvet
3. Lost Highway
4. Eraserhead
5. The Grandmother
6. Lady Blue Shanghai
7. Inland Empire
8. Wild at Heart
9. Twin Peaks
10. Dune

...plus 1 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

• PG: Psycho Goreman
• Antiporno
• The Lobster
• Why Don't You Play in Hell?
• Lady Blue Shanghai
• Watchmen
• Love Exposure
• In Bruges
• Hot Fuzz
• Murder Party

...plus 32 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

1. Mad Love
2. tokyo.sora
3. Toby Dammit
4. Blue Green
5. Mirror
6. Mulholland Drive
7. Possession
8. Daisies
9. Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb
10. Casablanca

...plus 7 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

• Watchmen: Chapter I
• Chime
• Strange Darling
• The Killer
• MOTHER
• Forgiven Children
• The Forest of Love
• Joker
• The Favourite
• River's Edge

...plus 55 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

1. Antiporno
2. Love Exposure
3. Why Don't You Play in Hell?
4. Noriko's Dinner Table
5. Strange Circus
6. Guilty of Romance
7. Cold Fish
8. The Forest of Love
9. Himizu
10. Tag

...plus 11 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

• Mattress Man Commercial
• Blue Green
• Tramway
• Man Is in Pain
• Ghosts Before Breakfast
• Phantom
• Gerorisuto
• Dimensions of Dialogue
• Possibly in Michigan
• The Trip

...plus 7 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

1. Cure
2. Creepy
3. Retribution
4. Chime
5. Penance
6. Bright Future
7. Pulse
8. Séance
9. Sweet Home
10. Charisma

...plus 4 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

(So far.)

• Warfare
• Dead Talents Society
• Chime
• Exhuma
• Strange Darling
• When Evil Lurks
• Superbia or: The Fallen Son
• PG: Psycho Goreman
• The Day of Destruction

1. Pulp Fiction
2. Kill Bill: Vol. 1
3. Kill Bill: Vol. 2
4. Reservoir Dogs
5. Inglourious Basterds
6. Django Unchained
7. The Hateful Eight
8. Once Upon a Time... in Hollywood
9. Death Proof
10. Reservoir Dogs

• Magnolia
• Boogie Nights
• Punch-Drunk Love
• The Master
• There Will Be Blood
• Phantom Thread
• Licorice Pizza
• Inherent Vice
• Hard Eight
• Blossoms & Blood

...plus 1 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

1. Apocalypto
2. The ion of the Christ
3. Hacksaw Ridge
4. Braveheart
5. Flight Risk

1. Oldboy
2. Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance
3. The Handmaiden
4. Lady Vengeance
5. Thirst
6. Stoker
7. t Security Area
8. Three... Extremes
9. Judgement
10. Life Is But a Dream

1. Funeral Parade of Roses
2. Demons
3. Phantom
4. For My Crushed Right Eye
5. The Weavers of Nishijin
6. Dogra Magra
7. Nippon Express Carries the Olympics to Tokyo
8. Atman
9. Mona Lisa
10. 1986 Summer

1. Mirror
2. Stalker
3. Ivan's Childhood
4. Andrei Rublev
5. The Steamroller and the Violin
6. Solaris
7. There Will Be No Leave Today
8. The Killers

1. Possibly in Michigan
2. Oh, Rapunzel
3. Annie Lloyd
4. Beneath the Skin
5. Not a Jealous Bone
6. We Were Hardly More Than Children
7. Little Spirits
8. All About a Girl
9. Within a Stone's Throw
10. Tales of a Future Past

...plus 5 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

1. Mad Love
2. The Devil
3. Possession
4. On the Silver Globe
5. The Third Part of the Night
6. My Nights Are More Beautiful Than Your Days
7. Pavoncello
8. The Song of Triumphant Love

1. Winter Light
2. Persona
3. The Seventh Seal
4. Wild Strawberries
5. Hour of the Wolf
6. Through a Glass Darkly
7. The Virgin Spring
8. Harald & Harald

1. 2001: A Space Odyssey
2. Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb
3. A Clockwork Orange
4. Eyes Wide Shut
5. The Shining
6. Lolita
7. Full Metal Jacket
8. Fear and Desire

1. The Wind Rises
2. Princess Mononoke
3. Kiki's Delivery Service
4. Porco Rosso
5. Ponyo
6. Spirited Away
7. Castle in the Sky
8. My Neighbor Totoro
9. Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind
10. Howl's Moving Castle

...plus 2 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

1. Seven Samurai
2. Rashomon
3. The Hidden Fortress
4. Throne of Blood
5. Yojimbo
6. Drunken Angel
7. Stray Dog
8. The Idiot
9. Ran
10. Dreams

...plus 7 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

1. A Serious Man
2. No Country for Old Men
3. O Brother, Where Art Thou?
4. Barton Fink
5. Fargo
6. The Man Who Wasn't There
7. True Grit
8. Burn After Reading
9. The Ballad of Buster Scruggs
10. Miller's Crossing

...plus 4 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

1. Zodiac
2. Gone Girl
3. Fight Club
4. The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
5. Se7en
6. Panic Room
7. The Game
8. The Killer
9. Love, Death & Robots: Bad Travelling
10. Alien³

1. tokyo.sora
2. Petal Dance
3. Su-ki-da
4. Your Fingertips