Incredibly French and remarkably satisfying. It does on purpose all the things Roger Moore Bond movies do by accident, while simultaneously being a truer-to-form formula spy caper. Looks GORGEOUS. Fight scenes are immaculate. Sort of a French 80s Indiana Jones but a lot hammier, fewer blockbuster-budget stunts, more self-aware, and similarly polished. I was really into this and think it’s pretty good fun and so much better than most spy movies and spoofs of spy movies. Smarter Zucker Abrahams Zucker but what if extremely biting and French

honestly, the special effects are strong. Must have been amazing to see a movie on the big screen for the first time in human history. I’m imagining being a person who has never seen moving images before and I feel I got my nickel’s worth. The wild part is, really, 1902 was NOT very long ago

I don’t know if it’s the sound of his voice, or his style of speaking, or what, but something about the way Reggie Miller talks is extremely rad

We have been face to face, yeah

But I will not hesitate 

Not for a second

Watched on Monday January 15, 2024.

I can’t believe i’m hearing myself say this but this film may have been a bit too iconoclastic for me

Watched on Friday December 29, 2023.

what the fuck is going on with these accents and also everything else this is insane

^^ fragment of a review left in a draft on here, on the heels of the 15 min DNF watch 

…Review part 2:

To be clear I have still not seen this whole movie, so I can’t and won’t speak on it as a whole. I picked up about 1/2 through after a brief explainer from Rocco what events had transpired thus far.

Man what an insane story. But also: Jared Leto is really good in this! Jared Leto: big but fun, intricate performance with great command of quirky speech patterns and personality. Also mind-altering make up. But what a delicious character performance (in a film with many; the leads not least of all). Jared Leto. Brilliant in a movie. Who woulda thought. Flabbergasting.

Anyway you could just watch this movie for that and the rest of the acting. Pure class.

whats your name?

—Mahito.

‘the sincere one’ …
No wonder you reek of death

—

Hayao still putting the team on his back 21 years into his career, great to see him finally get to 40+ on every franchise with this one.

a heavy-handed movie disguised as a lighthearted comedy, but hits everything it’s trying to do w verve. Def not very playful outside a few spirited introductory numbers. Choreography and production design are unbelievable. There are tiring moments, but the story’s metatextual awareness doesn’t cloy like a Thor: Love & Thunder or ironic “isn’t that random??” TV commercial.

Looks stunning. Put it on just to vibe while googling each of the old Barbie product releases referenced throughout and you could have a pretty good time. Made with tremendous care/attn to detail and I enjoyed the experience. Some of the character driven stuff is a bit eye roll-y, but Barbie’s resolution hits home in a way that made me forget about that and just feel moved. Absolutely insane bit people watched this and Oppenheimer back-2-back this summer. LUNACY. Ten stars to Greta, fantastic motion picture.

This review may contain spoilers.

I like the part where the martians say ack ack and merk everyone

a combo of the moody Daniel Craig Bond installments and the ultra-goofy Brosnan ones. Feeds the desire for superspy escapism; feels like what it claims to be. Impossibly nonsensical, but these people are: so hot, that key is: so fun, and ultimately: why not. Cruise looks old and bad here, but you ride off the uncut moxy. His ability to have sexual chemistry now matches his countenance. Speaking of countenances: no possible way Hayley’s cheekbones don’t puncture that mask. The thing is: sometimes it’s more feasible to add matter than take away. The big stunt is: OTHERWORLDLY. Are we still holding on to the top of speeding trains fighting with knives guys? Too many hugs.

“What’s on your feeble mind, Duane?”

Dr. Molly Warmflash

IMAX remaster on a rainy day in NJ, which is a much lovelier place than I’ve ever given it credit for being.

I spent a lot of time looking at David Byrne’s weird microphone clip which is one of those ones that opens like a clothespin. The sound was so incredible, it may have been better than actually seeing Talking Heads live. I couldn’t believe how cohesive yet individually isolated all the instruments sounded in the mix. Gigantic. A really beautiful band and an incredible performance. The suit is a top ten special effect in all of cinema history. It’s simply bizarre how good this band and their songs were. When Burning Down The House started and the band became fully operational, I gasped.

Incredibly dark and weird and sweet, each scene outdoes the surrealness of the previous one in the first act. And then, suddenly, the tension breaks and it’s a Spielbergian chorus of emotions. A little mannered, but kind of in a Chekhov way, as good as any novel that’s ever been assigned for 10th grade summer reading. Thrilling, nightmarish. One of the best conspiracy movies ever. Like what if The Firm but deep. I’m a Weir boy because of this. Not crazy about that many of his other movies, but this one is a one of a kind motion picture experience. The PG-ratedness just accentuates it. Magnificent

So many spectacular outfits. Meg Ryan is as relatable and ethereally charming as she is bad at crying. Billy Crystal w more juice than any human man who looks like the Mexico City petrified alien corpse has business delivering. Amazing to see the New York Football Giants immortalized in a motion picture. 

While comedy never ages particularly well, this movie is a worthy urtext of the best instincts in American rom-com writing. Friends, Seinfeld, Sex In City et all owe mad props, if not straight up royalties. Cheers to Nora, cheers to sweet fatalism, and cheers forever to hearts and seasons changing in NY

Here’s the thing: the music is good. The rest is a bunch of confused New Yorkers LARPing.

Biggest problem by far: you can’t make Christ this annoying. 

Portraying Jesus as fully an incel cuck is a bold play, but it’s just so goddamn hard to watch a long ass dusty sandal flick with a lead character who is entirely vacant of charisma. All respect to Willem who was given a thankless, impossible task, and did his best. You can’t fix how this character was written, or the choice to do a biblical epic in “i’m walkin’ here”-face.

The only narrative propulsion comes from what you bring of *your own outside understanding of whom Jesus is* , an understanding this story claims upfront won’t be particularly relevant. I can’t suspend disbelief enough to feel like anyone would: follow this guy; listen to him; want to sleep with him. Jesus here is: a whining, irritating fucking mess.

John The Baptist as psycho commune leader/Pontius Pilate Stardust is kind of fun. But for real: this movie is so extremely everything Christians hate and feel uncomfortable about (while being so surface level about the bible that practically every line reads like either an edgelord cringeism or mormon-esque euphemism), that it seems almost like a false flag operation. In the 80s it might have felt sufficiently edgy and thought provoking, but today it plays more like a Dinesh Desouza conspiracy exposé “this is what liberal elites think Jesus and The Bible were like”

There’s nothing to connect to. It’s long as hell. It’s not enjoyable or thrilling. It’s brown dishwater of an unpleasant slog. There’s enough gorgeous costuming, makeup and cinematography to cut it into a banger of a trailer, but as a motion picture, I can’t imagine having less of a good time.

At one point Jesus makes himself a time-out circle in the wilderness like a kid self-imposing his own sad IEP and gets talked to by a few supernatural visions that all sound *exactly* like 3rd string Disney 2d animation henchmen 

I like the part where Jesus pulls out his own heart like Frida Kahlo except: UNEARNED. This Jesus is not special. He is dull. Sorry Marty, sorry Paul: ya made an ego-driven clunker. 

“Ey it’s me, Jesus. God talked to me in the desert and stuff”

Main temptation in this film is obv temptation to turn it off

I will never forget refreshing youtube the day a new installment was scheduled hoping it would appear. The Griffey-EMart regular season-playoffs run is so impossibly exciting and unforgettable you truly won’t be able to believe you’re watching notes on a spreadsheet. For me, proof mathematics is an emergent physical phenomenon of the universe. Baseball stories rule and Jon Bois is a revolutionary humanist.

Felix Hernandez openly weeping as he walks off the mound for the last time: me crying just from thinking about it.

Everything I ever hope for from a Michael Bay movie but never get. Score is amazing. Future tech is inspired and cool af. Watched the dubs bc I couldn’t figure out how to get to the original language on my aftermarket remote. Will rewatch with subs, but man, like 80x better than the disney Ghibli dubs. Cranston eats. Exposition heavy but it’s doesn’t get in the way of a genuinely suspenseful yarn. Immaculate world building I was invested so hard from the jump, tho never having read the source manga. Westworld owes visusal royalties. No one does cyberpunk body horror political thriller like Japanese story tellers 40 years removed from unprecedented evil of US atomic assault. this movie absolutely rips, and yes you should watch it

Title is accurate. Movie contains a game.

This may be the best-looking motion picture ever made.

-Peak Willem DaFoe 
-Freshly minted elder statesman Ford
-fantastic interiors and dated tech
-a wonderful tense set piece
-James Earl Jones plays a guy named James 

Superlatives aside, this is jingoistic, misogynistic, harmful dreck. Stories like this are slick lies that have perpetuated deeply evil notions in our culture, especially among men of a certain age. I don’t like it, I don’t endorse it, it made me uncomfortable to witness. 

Clancy or screenwriter has a gift for satisfying attention to detail, Noyce has a wonderful aesthetic and mise en scene. There’s a way to watch this and it be fun. It does, however, require unplugging your soul from reality. 

The real clear and present danger is the friends we made along the way

Goodness gracious I’ve missed you Wes. He’s never quite figured out how to make a 3rd act quite as masterful as the other 2/3rds, but just absolutely zero complaints about this gem. it feels FRESH. Effortless. Timeless. It’s coming from a sweet place or something, I don’t know. But I’m here for it and it’s amazing to have a director I’ve always liked and rooted for back in his best range of outcomes. 

A miraculous little movie. 105 or whatever minutes of perfectly palleted delight, with sensitive performances and a snappy script that never wearies of itself. Money used so many fun ways. And when did Jason Schwartzman get, just, unbelievably hot?

Chris manages to work in unexpected twists and surprises, such as the most explosive scene in atomic bomb movie is Matt Damon introduces himself

oh mannnn this aged badly. I can do without the guys filming a movie/fighting in the jungle bit. Honestly Steve Coogan deserved his fate for that idea. Oh boy the RDJ stuff. Oh man. What are you guys doing. Still, laughing my ass off at Tom Cruise. It’s BIZARRE. Comedic turn of the century when he puts on Ludacris and—alongside sycophant assistant Bill Hader—tries to lather Matthew McConaughey into letting his fading superstar cartel-hostage client get violently murdered for insurance money. Who can really say for sure if this is bad. If it’s bad, it’s one of the worst movies ever made. But I think it’s probably fine. Some of it is good, though incredibly cringe and hard to watch. Drags along here and there. Outside of a Jay Baruchel is dating JLH punchline, not one woman in this entire movie

deeply, deeply weird. But it is funny, and original, and a full-blown night at the movies. Chock full of knowing gasps and elevated-sophomoric bits. There’s a certain basicness to the ensemble, but it’s more than made up for by the execution and everyone’s commitment to going as wacky/hard of Rs possible. It’s money on the screen. enjoyable. Prob a few of these guys’ finest performance, and Danny McBride is especially dialed in (and up). I get the feeling these guys kinda suck irl but I still sign off on this

This movie makes absolutely no sense, and it’s not even remotely funny, but on the plus side it’s unbelievably horny. 15 minutes in you’re on your 4th “Meanwhile…” story card, between vignettes that seem like filmed improv classes with people literally falling over for no reason. Technicolor looks incredible. Claudia Cardinale is impeccable. Honestly, one of the worst movies i’ve ever seen. 

ps. It’s profoundly weird that the most oblique and cringe allusions to sex were considered whole entire jokes in and of themselves in early 1960s. It’s startling. Did I say it makes no sense and also that it’s spectacularly horny?

Wrap me in a tiger skin rug and drag me across the room, David Niven

hey this was fun. A whole lot of heart and some delightful, if hammy, 1984 period production design. Some odd script choices, but all the pompous off-brand sorkinness is matched with an XL Dunkin’ donuts cup full of pure human magic. It rly builds, I felt pretty invested, and some ridiculously silly moments aside, the payoff was well worth it

MVP: Peter Moore

I have asked you repeatedly to call me dad

MVPs:
1. space is blue
2. I don’t think that’s what an asteroid is 
3. that man’s not a salesman, that’s your daddy
4. movie = ridiculously long

HBO by default literally minimizes the movie to give you a full screen ad for like Outbreak and other recommendations *before* the end scene of the movie. Utterly disgraceful! People deserve to be able to watch the end of a movie with out being totally inappropriately interrupted by an asinine corporation whose mission statement claims to be a place “where people around the world come to watch great [movies].” Demented.

really good but there’s something kind of annoying about it

I mean it’s a free country but what are you doing building an electromagnetic shrink ray in the attic of your house in like a suburban neighborhood? He had that thing like 2 panes of glass and 17 ft away from Mr. and Mrs. Thompson’s bed

a 20 strikeout no-hitter that falls short w 2 outs, 2 strikes in the bottom of the 9th

This review may contain spoilers.

A dumb person’s idea of a nice thing. Mad I watched it

Watched on Tuesday April 4, 2023.

for some reason I periodically try to watch an old James Bond movie wrongfully assuming some of them must be good. This list is to help remind me, in the future, not to do that

• Diamonds Are Forever
• The Spy Who Loved Me
• The Man with the Golden Gun
• Tomorrow Never Dies
• Thunderball
• The World Is Not Enough
• The Substance

~4 movie-miniseries watched remotely w ~4 friends

• Mad Max
• Mad Max 2
• Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome
• Mad Max: Fury Road
• Witness
• The Mosquito Coast
• Frantic
• Working Girl
• Rear Window
• Vertigo

...plus 26 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

Movies I watched or attempted to watch while recovering from hernia surgery. completion rate: 25%

• The Birdcage
• Batman
• The Illusionist
• Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets
• The Boys from Brazil
• Some Like It Hot
• To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar
• The Private Life of Sherlock Holmes
• Dune: Part Two
• Sliding Doors

...plus 2 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

Movies covered by both the Kill James Bond and Blank Check (main feed) podcasts

• The Hunt for Red October
• Lupin the Third: The Castle of Cagliostro
• Speed Racer
• The Power of the Dog
• Die Hard
• Beowulf
• Perfect Blue

1. The Royal Tenenbaums
2. Asteroid City
3. Fantastic Mr. Fox
4. The Grand Budapest Hotel
5. Moonrise Kingdom
6. Hotel Chevalier
7. The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou
8. Rushmore
9. Bottle Rocket
10. Isle of Dogs

...plus 2 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

these are some of my all time faves, the distinguishing quality being I am almost always in the mood to rewatch. the ranking is loose, but at the top we have films miles away from the rest

• Mad Max: Fury Road
• Spirited Away
• The Thing
• Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
• Titanic
• Oppenheimer
• Portrait of a Lady on Fire
• Amadeus
• The Sound of Music
• Interstellar

...plus 22 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

current feelings about the films of HM as I go through them

1. Spirited Away
2. The Boy and the Heron
3. Porco Rosso
4. Ponyo
5. The Wind Rises
6. Howl's Moving Castle
7. Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind
8. Princess Mononoke
9. Castle in the Sky

ranked. swear 2 me

1. Oppenheimer
2. Interstellar
3. Dunkirk
4. Inception
5. The Prestige
6. Tenet
7. The Dark Knight
8. The Dark Knight Rises
9. Batman Begins
10. Memento

...plus 1 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

by no means a comprehensive list just some of my absolute faves

• Raging Bull
• Once Upon a Time in the West
• Mad Max
• To Live and Die in L.A.
• Psycho
• Vertigo
• Jackie Brown
• The Pink Panther
• Star Wars
• Enter the Void

...plus 4 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

• For Your Eyes Only
• Casino Royale
• Quantum of Solace
• Octopussy
• Moonraker
• The Living Daylights

In my estimation, the greatest films ever made.

1. M3GAN
2. The Godfather
3. Bicycle Thieves
4. 8½
5. Tokyo Story
6. 2001: A Space Odyssey
7. In the Mood for Love
8. Singin' in the Rain
9. The ion of Joan of Arc
10. Mad Max: Fury Road

Hard to compare these movies to other movies, so I’m trying to make sense of em amongst themselves

1. Vertigo
2. Rear Window
3. Psycho
4. The Birds
5. North by Northwest
6. Family Plot

movies I truly did not enjoy watching/hated, but somehow managed 2 view in their entirety

• Escape from L.A.
• The Good Mother
• The Spanish Prisoner
• Despicable Me 3
• The Piano
• Batman & Robin
• American Sniper
• The Hateful Eight
• Vanilla Sky
• The Man with the Golden Gun

• The Fortune Cookie
• Cookie's Fortune

• Almost Famous
• Love & Basketball
• My Best Friend's Wedding
• You've Got Mail
• Pride & Prejudice
• Garden State
• A Lot Like Love

ranked

1. Once Upon a Time... in Hollywood
2. Jackie Brown
3. Pulp Fiction
4. Kill Bill: Vol. 1
5. Kill Bill: Vol. 2
6. Django Unchained
7. Inglourious Basterds
8. Death Proof
9. Reservoir Dogs
10. The Hateful Eight

where I’m at on the movies I watched from 2019

1. Portrait of a Lady on Fire
2. Once Upon a Time... in Hollywood
3. Parasite
4. Apollo 11
5. Avengers: Endgame
6. Uncut Gems
7. Knives Out
8. Ad Astra
9. The Irishman
10. The Lighthouse

...plus 4 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.