Well, I guess I’m glad I let you all get my expectations nice and low for this. Yes, all that exposition is, to put it nicely, a mixed bag. Someone on Reddit timed out that this has 107 minutes of exposition - three minutes short of the first movie’s entire runtime. That is a frankly obscene amount of talking, and it wore me down to the point that I didn’t quite grasp some of the machinery of the plot, though…

Straight up can’t the last time I laughed this hard at a movie, new release or not. This had me full-on wheezing throughout, so much so in two specific scenes (the bar of soap and the Subway order) that I actually felt myself getting lightheaded. It even had me doing that thing where I was chuckling before anything funny had even happened, just watching the comedic pieces slide into place, and you know a comedy movie really has you…

If the idea here was to embody the characters by being superficially pretty while having absolutely zilch going on under the surface, then mission accomplished. I'm not normally one to pull out the "#OnePerfectShot cinema" criticism but holy god, so many attractive but utterly empty images and showy long takes here that seem designed to be posted on Twitter in fours with the caption "your weekly reminder that SALTBURN is cinema" or some shit. The ~PROVOCATIVE~ material is a complete…

Not sure why Edgar Wright bothered making a whole movie when he could've simply tweeted "Just found out about misogyny..." with a picture of a hole punched in drywall and gotten the same message across with the same degree of depth and nuance.

Kidding! Wright is filed under "filmmakers I love" in my brain, but I was thinking before I saw this and honestly, it's really just Hot Fuzz I love; that coupled with Wright being a cool guy personally…