Allegiant

2016

½ 3

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Allegiant? More like Indulgent! Easily one of the worst things I’ve ever seen and heard with my own two eyes and ears - in fact, I actively wish I could burn my retinas and sever my eardrums as punishment for subjecting them to the CGI horrors and cringy dialogue! I pray I wake up tomorrow blind and deaf because I wasted these functions on watching this movie! At least it was fun to laugh at!

Insurgent

2015

Watched

How was this worse than the first? And how could the third get worse? No one has any chemistry with each other, script is laughably bad and her haircut is extremely distracting. The finale and final set piece are too similar to the first one, and a lot of the emotional beats are the same too. Stale and recycled twists and turns. I held the books high in my mind but I don’t see myself liking them now. 

The theme of self-forgiveness and self-hate in the climax is almost profound and deserves to be in a better movie.

these types of movies ranked

Twilight

2008

★★½ Rewatched

Charlie has massive dilf energy

Barbie as the Island Princess

2007

★★½ 4

don’t ask

Edit: 2 and half because there’s nothing in it for me to like but I can see why 8 year olds might see something and why those who were previously 8 years old might have nostalgia blinders. 

I’m no coward

The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl

2005

★★★½ Rewatched

Yeah this isn’t good, but it still is, ya know? Robert Rodriguez’s filmography confuses me

The Hunger Games

2012

★★★½ Rewatched

my girl Juliette Welfling on some wack drugs

Olympus Has Fallen

2013

★★★½ 1

Gerard Butler

Maze Runner: The Death Cure

2018

★★★★ Watched

I want you to know that I’m not scared. Well not of dying anyway. It’s more forgetting 

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Really solid conclusion to this series. Yes it’s too long, introduces new characters with little to no motivation and may have a kinda messy ending. But it’s all worth it for really greatly executed, epic, intense, wall to wall action start to finish and the right emotional aspects. The entire movie rests on the friendships of these characters that we’ve…

Mr. & Mrs. Smith

2005

★★★★ Liked Watched

I guess in the end you start thinking about the beginning

Pitt Ranked

Very early-mid 2000s but in the best way possible. Really clever set pieces, and the action sequences are fun. If everything else wasn’t slow and even boring at times it could’ve been better, but all around a good time. The line reading for “you still alive, baby” is simply the best thing to grace cinematic history.

Ferrari

2023

★★★★½ Liked Watched

This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

How to Train Your Dragon

2010

★★★★★ Liked 2

You just gestured to all of me

Great in theatres when I was 9. Great sitting on the floor of a dorm on a projector against a window in broad daylight. Phenomenal.