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Red Hot Chilli Peppers really did bribe Fincher so that he’d make their dicks huge in that final shot, huh?

Amazing visuals

This episode has love, death AND robots! Just as d!

The visuals in this short are absolutely impeccable; can’t imagine how much work went into all of it.
I had hoped that the story would pull off a “love over revenge”, but this is Love, Death and Robots that we’re talking about here, so it’s a requirement for the plot to be harsh. Still, that ending felt unnecessarily cruel. It left me feeling a little unsatisfied.

Mate, leave that cow alone!

A graceful story about the importance of a person’s values over money? What? Dude, were we even watching the same thing? Cause I saw…

Dinosaurs! On a SPACESHIP!
Chinese Spiderman!
MOTHERFUCKING MIST OR BEAAAAST!

Jesus Christ, that was incredible. The suspense, the horror, the animation… everything about this short is unbelievably amazing.

Can’t beat Bladerunner 2019 

When I was watching Bladerunner 2049 for the first time, I thought that we didn’t get nearly enough crowded city shots. But, after watching this short, I now realise just how well the shots that we did get were handled. There was just the right amount of them, and their addition was tasteful. I wish I could say that the same applies for this short. 

It feels unfair to compare this low budget short to the mammoth that is the original Bladerunner. But both are set in the same world, so it’s only natural for me to compare the two.
All of the cramped city shots in the original were vibrant, gorgeous and clean. Although the environment felt messy, all of it was perfectly set up and directed.

I have the feeling that they were going for a very different aesthetic for this short film. Here, it’s not really that much about the messiness of the city, as it is about its dirtiness and filthiness. They achieved that side of it quite well. The only problem is that bleak filthiness doesn’t look very pleasing on camera.

You can’t adequately recreate the magic of the original Bladerunner film. So, in retrospect, I’m quite glad about the many artistic choices of Bladerunner 2049 that deviate from the style of the original movie: you can’t imitate the original without making it seem artificial.

“COMING IN HOT🗣️🗣️🔥🔥‼️‼️”

This was a pleasant surprise. I expected this movie to be completely awful, but to my amazement, I genuinely really enjoyed the first half of the film. Although, to be fair, I was watching the russian dub and some of the jokes were definitely changed. That probably elevated the humour by quite a bit.

The first half of the film was actually fun. I most certainly would NOT recommend anyone to watch this movie alone, though. It is 100% an experience that you have to go through together with friends and family. Not at a movie theatre, though. Movie theatres are dead to me.

The visual effects worked way better than I expected them to. Sure, some of the green screen shots were horrendous, but, for the most part, I wasn’t taken out of this strange voxel world that often.
After first watching the trailer, I was absolutely disgusted by the art direction. Didn’t bother me at all while watching the movie, though.

NOT ENOUGH JACK BLACK AND JASON MOMOA SEX SCENES! 

This happened to my buddy Keith once.

I watched the Russian Dub.

Welcome to the future of cinema. Here we have cg dwarves, cg animals and cg environments. 

Since I watched the Russian dub of this movie, Gal Gadot’s acting wasn’t as terrible as it usually is. In fact, since Gal Gadot was voiced by an actual professional actor, the quality of her scenes was elevated to an actually enjoyable level.

In the dub that I watched, they put a lot of effort into all of the songs. Although the singing sounded amazing, it did feel very hollow and blank at times. Still, the singing was great both in the Russian and the English dubs. I went back to listen to the original to compare the two. In both versions Snow White’s voice is fabulous.

To be fair, as dystopian as it all feels, the cgi is nevertheless objectively great. I think that it’s ridiculous to replace an entire world with computer generated graphics, but, as far as cg dwarves go, they look pretty good. Some might argue that they step into the Uncanny Valley, but I couldn’t tell you even if I wanted to, since I wasn’t wearing my glasses while watching the film, lol.

Anyways, I went into this movie expecting to fully hate it. But I can’t lie, I think that the review bombing this film received is ridiculously fucking stupid. Rachel Zegler got shat on by so many people for absolutely nothing. What, she said “Free Palestine”? Scandalous! The truth is that this movie was doomed from the start as soon as it was announced that Rachel Zegler would be playing Snow White. Fucking americans.

But just for the record: I don’t think that this is a very good movie. To be more clear, I am horrified by the state in which Disney has been for the past decade. It’s a shell of a legacy once considered to be legendary by everyone around the globe. It’s not as magical as it once was, but that doesn’t warrant you sick fucks to be racist. Nothing can justify the disgusting behaviour of nazis that is somehow considered normal in this day and age. Thought we’d all be rid of that by now…
Anyways, Grumpy is literally me.

Vibrant Visuals. Ruined Plot. 

There is so much about this film that is worth discussing. Let’s begin with the part that I found most impressive - the visuals.

It is rather difficult to put into words just how outstanding the cinematography here is. It completely absorbs the viewers into the scene, never failing to make them be completely entranced by the beautiful, gorgeous and grand views of our planet. The composition of each shot is nothing but pure brilliance. It allows for the expression of so many emotions without the need of any words. And the colours… the colours elevate this movie to a completely new level. It truly is enchanting.

The plot is amusing to say the least. To give it some credit, I will it that, at times, I was surprisingly engaged with the love story. As messed up as this narrative was, the movie did somehow manage to brainwash me into thinking that it was a good romance. I am certain, though, that this was the case exclusively because of the heavy lifting done by the actors. They are really good at expressing potent and raw emotion.

I do suppose that Hitchcock was trying to criticise sexism in this film. The critique was done rather subtly. So subtly, in fact, that it was barely noticeable. For the most part, it seemed less like a parody of sexist tropes and more like a plot with plenty of sexist tropes. 

I liked what they were doing with John becoming obsessed with the past. His transition into abusive behaviour was very realistic and interesting. The second half of the film seemed really promising. I thought that it would discuss and dissect complicated topics and dilemmas involving love. Honestly, I think that that’s exactly where they were going with this film. But then the executives came in and threw all of that brilliant buildup out of the window. LITERALLY

“A love story that shows how difficult it is to cope with the ing of your soul mate? Nononono, the viewers will get too confused! Tell you what, turn it into a detective story and throw in a big twist in there somewhere. Oh, and add some supernatural stuff in, too! Then we’ll talk.”

Honesty, this theory might even explain the shallowness of the female characters. (I mean, seriously, what were they thinking when writing Midge’s character???)
 
Least exaggerated detective story in the history of mankind.

Cinema

(Btw, you fucked up the title of the film. It’s actually “Lorax 1969”)

2010s

Despite all of 21 Jump Street’s flaws, this film’s major upside is that it’s really good at capturing the feeling of the early 2010s. (might have something to do with the fact that it was made in the early 2010s, though.)

Whatever, who cares? Sure, the film doesn’t really age that well: some jokes fall flat and a lot of the humour featured here will be completely unintelligible to younger generations in only a couple of years. But this movie doesn’t need to be timeless! I think that it better serves as a time capsule of sorts. Honestly, I can’t believe that I’m about to say something this ridiculous, but let this film play the role of a past relic. 21 Jump Street sent me back in time to my childhood. And it was definitely a very fun experience for me!

Look: even though throughout this review I stated numerous times that the humour often falls flat, I’d be lying if I said that it didn’t make me laugh at times. This movie is funny in its own right just as it is funny in the manner of a long departed era.
Jesus Christ, did I really just call the 2010s a “long departed era”? Yes. Yes, I did.

Is this seriously how I find out that I’ve got ocd?

Lonely times.

I really don’t understand why the ratings for this one are so low. I suppose that it’s not as frightening and gruesome as you’d want a Black Mirror episode to be, but I don’t find that to be a good enough justification to not praise it.

Plaything explores a topic that has grown to be incredibly relevant over the past decade, and even more so only over the past few years. With the recent skyrocketing development of artificial intelligence, loneliness has severely worsened for those who already were struggling with it beforehand. Thanks to ai, those who used to have trouble connecting with others are now gifted with a reason to give up trying to socialise altogether! Because why would you bother trying to push yourself to make friends, when you already have your own personal “pal” by your side at all times! Making connections with people takes time, effort and risk. No need to worry about any of those problems when you have a caring ai companion by your side. This matter is terribly sickening. If you spend at least a bit of time on the internet, you’ve probably come across some lonely individuals who desperately need real , care and love in their life, but all of that is instead substituted with an air-burning server that literally just replicates human speech. Wonderful, we are capitalising off of vulnerable people who require professional help. Unfortunately, this is nothing new to the world. 

Some people will probably argue that the ending is out of place, since it seemingly doesn’t fit into the narrative of ai not being a substitute for life. But I couldn’t disagree more, because we are never actually shown the Throng doing something. Sure, we see a bunch of people collapse at the end. But do we see them uniting as one hive mind? Nope. For all we know, Capaldi just decimated the eardrums of the entirety of Britain. This is a story of a man spending his entire life in an echochamber. This is an example of what you get when you try substituting human interaction. The protagonist is incompatible with the rest of humanity because he was never accepted into it. It’s a tragedy, but if he never delved into “spending time the Throng”, he could eventually find his place among others. The Throng was never intelligent in the first place. This whole time it was a man sinking deeper and deeper into a world where he’d have no reason to worry about interacting with others. With every day that ed, he became more and more detached from reality. 

In my opinion, this episode was nothing short of utter brilliance. The topic is as relevant as never before, the plot’s unravelling is interesting, the cinematography is super engaging, the editing is thrilling, the set design is absorbing and the acting is magnificent.

This is a seriously great episode that makes you think about rather worrying themes, the importance of which is sure to rise over the coming years. Although I didn’t feel violated the way you usually do from watching a Black Mirror episode, I did start having haunting thoughts about what’s to come in the future. What’s happening right now is scary enough, but judging by the fact that ai hasn’t been slowing down for years now, humanity’s future - the future that will sur all current wars, tariffs and deaths - will seem to be rewarded with yet another shade of misery all for our grandchildren to suffer ever more.

(Now for the mandated joke part of the review)
Move aside, Idiocracy! Bladerunner 2049 is the new documentary in town!

That was really fucked up.

Simple, Straightforward, Splendid

Wow, that was really great! Wonderful movie with amazing acting, brilliant set design, nice writing and excellent VFX. It is an objectively good movie.

I do, of course, wish that there was a bit more depth to everything so as to accompany all of the film’s other strengths. But it’s definitely not trying to be the type of movie that makes you sit down and rethink your whole life, so it’s fine. As much as I do wish for more complexity, Bong Joon Ho knows what kind of movie he wants to make.

This movie has really beautiful visuals. I was never taken out of it for a second. Amazing set design and impeccable vfx work. Wonderful execution of the director’s vision.

Super fun movie! The Trump caricature does get a little boring after a while, but hey, you can never have enough Trump hate, amirite?

Couldn’t even finish it.

I’m rating this movie so high because I didn’t finish it. I know, I know, I have sinned. But this movie’s writing is so pitiful that I couldn’t bear watching it ‘till the end. It’s really bad.

Terrible writing, generic plot and the directing seems to be awful, too, since the acting is ass.

The vfx are pretty great: they’re literally the only reason why I didn’t rate this film half a star. That and the fact that I didn’t finish the film. I thought that it would be unfair of me to rate it too low without even having seen the ending.

Remind me again, where did the 300 million dollars go?

“Miracle.”

The Bladerunner duology is a rather complicated topic for me. The original film felt incredibly iconic and is one of the most memorable movies that I have ever watched. The visuals fascinated me like nothing ever before. The design of this entire, thought-out world was enticing. The mood of the film was conveyed with such precision. And the OST… The OST of this film without a doubt goes into my top 5 most beloved soundtracks for any piece of media. Almost everything about this film felt magical, yet I ended up giving it a puny 4 stars. For a movie which I adore so much, that seems like a bizarrely low rating. And it definitely is. On my first few watch-throughs I was quite displeased with the banality of the base plot. I was displeased with how certain parts of characters were handled. Sure, there’s incredible depth to Bladerunner. It is a magnificent film where anyone can find an interpretation for themself, and that’s something you can only find in a great movie. But… that’s certain parts of it. Certain, perhaps most parts of the movie are beyond outstanding, but then there are sections which are just simply not on par with everything else. Bizarre is the best word to describe my relationship with this film. And, for me, this feeling reoccurs in the sequel.

I am left feeling uncertain about this movie. The visual effects were stunning and gorgeous. They do an outstanding job immersing you in this vast, huge world. The design of everything you see is nothing but genius. The soundtrack felt rather powerful. And yet, nothing in 2049 felt nearly as memorable as in the original. Perhaps the original film was just better at lingering on expensive shots? Whereas in the new movie, the camera is always mobile and you never really get to take the view in. After all, the shots from 2049 that I did seemed to be, for the most part, static.
But… this conclusion quickly loses all of its credibility once you all of the iconic shots from the original Bladerunner that weren’t static. Think of the Zhora chase sequence, for example. 
Perhaps everything just feels a little too convoluted? No, not really. This movie isn’t that hard to grasp. Maybe the problem lies in the OST? Sure, it’s good. Great even. But it doesn’t feel as iconic as the original. The OST for 2049 emulates the work of Vangelis, sure. In fact, it’s pretty good at imitating the feeling of the original. But it isn’t the original. It’s not Vangelis. There is no Love theme, Memories of green or Rachel’s song here - no track in the new movie even comes close to the memorability of the og ost. Even when you hear the leitmotif of Main Titles, it still seems hollow. Nothing more than an attempt at replication.
But you can’t beat Vangelis. So, I suppose that there’s not much more that I can ask of. It’s just… a shame. I do wish that this movie would hit me with a bigger impact.

Alright, I’m going to quit my whining for a moment now. WOW! This movie is STUNNING! COSTUME DESIGN, SET DESIGN, STYLISATION, MODELLING, ANIMATION, MORE MODELLING. IT IS A WORK OF ART. Some truly inspiring shots can be found in this movie. Also, I was rather surprised with how great Rachael looked! Didn’t think that she would hold up in 2025, but I was proven wrong! She looked amazing! 
The world-building in this one is outstanding, huh? It’s arguably way better than in the original. I can bitch about this movie not being as memorable as the original all I want, but, truth is, 2049 is masterfully crafted. Everything here is of superb quality.
Lots of jaw-dropping material, too. Incredibly engaging film. Simply brilliant!

Okay, now that all of that other stuff is out of the way, let’s talk plot and, more importantly, topics.

Quite a few topics are discussed in this one, but, to be honest, to me it felt like the original film had more room for viewer interpretation. One person finds the plot to be about what makes us human, another person says that it’s about the search for identity, someone says that it’s about artificiality. One scene could mean different things for different people. I didn’t really feel that in this one, though. Maybe I ought to rewatch it, idk.
I didn’t really like just how hard they pushed some of the topics. It just felt a little too on-the-nose at times. Like, seriously?

Artificial man has artificial sex with an artificial woman who plays the role (play a role=pretend=artificiality) of an artificial loved one (she’s a prostitute) while an artificial intelligence pretends to be the prostitute (pretend=artificiality) in order to expresses her artificial love to her artificial loved one.

Yeah, damn. I sure do wonder what that scene was about. (Beautiful visual effects, though)

In my opinion, the topic of artificiality was handled a lot better in the original.
But there’s a lot of other themes discussed in this movie, most of which are pretty interestingly dissected. One of such themes was the miserable loneliness of the protagonist «K» (No, I’m not calling him Joe. That’s his artificial name).

«K» wishes to loved. He wishes to be cared for. He wants to be important. He wants to be special.
But he isn’t. Even at the end of his story, he still dies alone, all the while other, more important people experience the moment for which they waited throughout their entire lives. They get their moment. «K» doesn’t. He lived miserable and died miserable. Sure, you could say that it was hope that brought purpose to his life - that’s a way more pleasant way to look at it. But, at the end of the day, he’s all alone. He lived for the sake of others his whole life, rarely receiving any kindness his way. It is terrifying and, unfortunately, a feeling relatable to far too many people. 

Some of the greatest visuals in film, amazing world-building, brilliant acting and topics that are, sadly, very relevant in today’s world.

Incredible film. I really wish that it would have had a greater impact on me. Maybe I need another watch-through.

Good trilogy

Paddington in Peru is a lovely family movie. You enter it expecting to have a good time with your loved ones and end up getting exactly that. It’s just an overall fun and wholesome experience.

The quality of this film is surprisingly good. You’d think that the third instalment in the franchise would be a soulless cashgrab, but it is a rather sweet story that ties in really well with the previous films. But I suppose that this is a pattern you tend to get with movies which are adapted from an existing source. 

Watching this film is a lovely way to spend time with your family! I highly recommend it.

My past few reviews haven’t been that rich in wording. That includes this review, too.
Amazing art direction, amazing action sequences, amazing humour and amazing acting.
Amazing movie! Not much for me to say here.

I watched this as a kid and, at the time, thought that it was good. I’m not rewatching this shit to find out if that’s true or not. I’m just gonna have to trust my whatever-year-old past self on this one.

Certified hood classic

Idk

Unfortunately, I wasn’t paying too much attention to the movie. Instead, for some godforsaken reason, I decided that it would be a great idea to write a “Lion King: Mufassa Forever After” review. Idk, I really hated that movie. I needed to get some stuff off my chest about it.

Moana 2? I’m pretty sure that it was good. I was tuning in time to time, and the parts that I did watch were rather nice. Seemed like an authentic, enjoyable family movie. Unlike the Lion King 2019 Remake sequel, which was absolute shit.

The only bad thing I noticed about this movie was the use of that cursed yelling goat meme that was popular like ten years ago. Seriously, what is up with that? Why do they keep referencing it in Disney movies? Weird.

Shallow emulation of a movie

Okay… let’s start with the pros. First of all, the cgi is great. Most shots look beautiful. It must’ve taken years to render certain scenes. Truly astonishing work.
Another thing that I liked about the film is that the models of the lions, seemingly, were improved. The animals’ faces were very emotive and expressed lots of pretty complex expressions. The animation studio listened to the from the first film and actually fixed bothersome issues. I applaud that. So yeah, awesome work on the behalf of the animators.

The plot, on the other hand, is way less worthy of praise. While yes, some scenes did keep me feeling a little engaged, any and all interest I had was incredibly brief and short-lived. That’s because there is literally NO FUCKING PLOT AT HAND OVER HERE. THIS MOVIE IS JUST A GODDAMN FORMULA.
All of the scenes in this movie are completely shallow in messaging, because they have nothing to say. All powerful speeches you see in this film exist purely to check a mark in some list which compiles all of the things that make up the perfect Disney movie. As a result of this corporate bullshittery, this movie ends up in the form of a bunch of loosely related scenes which are jumbled up together to create the disgrace that is this movie. I know it sounds stupid, but this movie has no soul. It’s not like I should’ve expected anything more from a Disney movie, but… there’s nothing else  for me to say here. Corporate sludge, as per usual.

No real plot, just a bunch of family-movie cliches stitched together to form a terrible cashgrab. The CGI is good, though.

«I am the Unknowing»

This movie feels all over the place both in of quality and its plot. On one hand you have amazing scenes such as the one in the tavern: it’s beautifully filmed, it expresses so much emotion and meaning - simply brilliant all around. On the other hand you have lots of scenes which seem to be nothing more than the author’s personal shower thoughts, all loosely connected by the theme of “life”. Funnily enough, an example of this type of peculiar scene can also be found in that same exact tavern.

I don’t know how to feel about any of this. The entirety of the movie feels like an odd build-up. It always seems like the current scene is an exposition for something genius to come. But nothing ever comes. At the end of the movie you’re left with a bunch of brilliant build-up and barely any plot. Sure, some rather interesting questions are posed, but even the dilemmas feel as if they’re going to flow into something much grander any moment now… any moment now… and then all you get is some mediocre-ish closure, or no closure at all.

There is so much that I love about this film, but I feel as if none of it was ever brought to completion! This bothers me so much and I’m itching for a more satisfying resolution to all that damn, incredible exposition. But, alas, it’s not there. A real shame.

“Let me get what I want”

I genuinely can’t imagine how big of an impact this movie had on 80s teenagers. Besides the fact that this film is simply incredible, it also delves into some serious topics about the youth. Topics which will forever be relevant.

I’d say that the lessons this film tries to teach its audience are rather simple. The only problem with them is that they’re really hard to abide. Take Jeanie for example. Jeanie’s whole character arc consists of her coming to with the fact that other people are allowed to live their lives the way they wish to. It’s a wonderfully simple philosophy: as long as nobody is feeling bothered, everyone can be happy. And throughout the duration of the film we never see Ferris bother Jeanie once. All he ever does is… live an exciting life. So if he isn’t being an ass to anybody, how can you justify your hatred towards him? You can’t. Because you do not have any right to hate him. And Jeanie learns this valuable lesson. “Live and don’t disturb life.”
But man, jealousy is a bitch, huh? No matter how aware I am of this philosophy, I always seem to ignore it. And so does everyone else! No one ever embraces it. In fact, we humans always act cynical towards others. Gossip, slander, judgement - we can’t get enough of this lovely drug that is hatred!
It’s all so gruesome and easily avoidable… on paper. It takes a strong will to go against the system. The only way to fix this kind of problem is to have all of humanity collectively decide “Evil is bad. Let’s stop doing evil”. But that’s just not happening, is it?
This is what I was talking about. The morals of “Ferris Bueller’s day off” are simple, but difficult to abide. Most people don’t bother with them, so even if you wish to do the right thing, you probably won’t, since it’s always frightening to do anything when you have no one watching your back.

Standing up for yourself.
Living an exciting life.
Living a miserable life.
The hypocrisy of criticising younger generations.
The childish desire to have careless fun.
The fear of the future.
The fear for the future.
The foolishness of not worrying about the future.
Growing up.

This film discusses a lot of really important topics. For the most part, it’s about the youth, but some dilemmas are also applicable to the life of an adult. The sportos, the motorheads, geeks, sluts, bloods, wastoids, dweebies, dickheads… I think that any person of any age can learn a thing or two about life from Ferris Bueller’s day off.

Oh, yeah, I seem to have forgotten to mention the fact that this is the funniest movie ever. The jokes are brilliantly written and brilliantly performed. The humour does fall a little flat in the middle, but it’s not too much of a problem, because the rest of the film is hysterical. I absolutely adored every second of it. I can’t begin to explain how much of a great time I had while watching this movie. 

TREMENDOUSLY GREAT

Toilet humour

Basically a glorified prankshow that’s full of gross, disgusting and misogynistic humour. Anyways, I was this close to shedding a tear at the end.

I was laughing so fucking hard throughout the whole thing. This piece of kino has no right to be this good. It’s just like Borat all over again for me. I am ashamed of the amount of times I have laughed.

Really mixed

Yeah, idk why I’m writing this review. I watched this movie like a month ago, but, for some reason, I felt the need to write another review? It’s not like I even rewatched the movie. I just decided to write a second review for some reason. Idk, I’m procrastinating rn.

The best way to describe Ace Ventura is by imagining a hypothetical writer.
Think of an alcoholic writer. Not the cool kind that sniffs coke and fucks strippers. No, imagine a struggling writer who is very unfortunate in life. When he comes back home from work, there is nobody waiting for him at the front door. In the evening it’s just him sitting at a desk, depressed, drinking himself to death and trying to figure out what to do with the screenplay for an movie. This man is tired. He has been beaten up by life far too many times. You see him? Okay. Now imagine him writing a bombastic and hilarious comedy. 
That’s the best way I can describe this film.
I have to say that Jim Carrey really shines in this, though. It feels like this godawful movie exists purely for him to show off his talents in front of the entirety of Hollywood.
Some jokes were pretty decent, some jokes were really funny and some jokes were absolutely horrendous. This movie is all over the place.
(Also, the opening scene is ridiculously good? Like, especially compared to the rest of the film. I have a feeling that Jack Bernstein just wrote the film’s cold open and called it a day. The rest of the movie was not thought out at all)

Over the top

This movie is so fucking dumb, it actually somehow works. I’m generally not fond of fan-service oriented movies, but the stuff going on here is so ridiculous that it’s genuinely hilarious??? The main reason why I boosted the rating all the way up to 4 stars is definitely the Robotnik dance. That shit was glorious.

Frankly, the moment Eggman appeared on the giant street screen, my brain immediately thought of “I’ve come to make an announcement”. But, alas, a man can only dream.

This movie can get away with the dumbest, most stupid jokes you’ve ever heard. I don’t know, maybe it’s just because I wasn’t watching it alone? Nevertheless, I had a good time.

(ALSO HOLY FUCK THEY ACTUALLY DID THE SHADOW ENTRANCE LMAOOOOO)

I could write ten paragraphs worth of praise about this film, but not even that could capture how great it is. Just watch the fucking movie, it’s an amazing story.

The path to aristocracy

Where do I begin?
For starters, this film is gorgeous to look at. Even the most plain of camera angles are still, somehow, absolutely breathtaking. Kubrick’s utilisation of the zoom always displays so much emotion in a scene. It’s such a powerful tool when in the hands of great directors, and I really wish we’d see more of zoom in/out shots nowadays
The gradual transition from poor, village-like landscapes to sumptuous 18th century architecture is a genius method of visual storytelling. It is one of many representations of Redmond’s deterioration.

The actors did a beyond-outstanding job on their part. Whether it is loud and tumultuous, or subtle and delicate, the acting is always at its top tier. The miserable sadness in Lady Honoria’s eyes is absolutely gut-wrenching, and the anguish Marisa Berenson expresses during the scene where her character tries to poison herself… it’s genuinely horrifying.
Ryan O’Neal is brilliant at portraying Redmond’s evolution. Starting out as a pathetic, but honest to himself wimp, the character evolves, or rather devolves, into a ruthless and disgusting “gentleman”.

The film’s main criticism is, as I see it, pretentiousness. To be more exact, the pretentiousness of the aristocratic era. But, as I myself have a hard time relating to 18th century aristocracy, I’ll discuss the topics which are still applicable to modern society.

Telling fictitious stories about yourself, buying art which you do not understand, hosting parties which you cannot afford - all of these actions are done purely for the sake of creating a fancy image of yourself. An image which others will come to ire. 
Does any of that sound familiar? With the creation of social media, pretentiousness is as relevant of a problem as ever before. It’s fascinating, come to think of it. Now, of course, pretentiousness has always been a thing. It’s not something new, most definitely not. It is an issue embedded deep in our nature. But isn’t exactly that what’s scary about it? Here we have a problem that has existed for the entire duration of time that civilisation itself has existed. And this problem didn’t go anywhere. We lie so that others respect us. We lie for our own benefit. We lie so much instead of actually trying to change ourselves. Clearly, we recognise our own mistakes, but, instead of fixing our behaviour and getting rid of our faults, we lie.

Incredible cinematography, genius acting and forever relevant topics. This film is marvellous.

Except, in that one scene when Redmond is walking around the Prussian fort, one of the corpses opens his eyes and stares directly into the camera.
0/10

I mean, it’s an alright movie. Nothing too crazy going on here. Pretty cool concept, decent execution. Most of the action sequences were well made. Levi falling into the gorge definitely took me by surprise.

The romance is pretty sweet. It does feel a little forced at times, but it’s nothing too outrageous.

Overall, I suppose I enjoyed this film.

Some jokes fell flat, but this movie can be pretty great at times.

Acid Trip

I genuinely laughed my ass off while watching this. There is so much hilarious stuff going on here that it’s fascinating. I can’t believe that the chase sequences of a 120 year old movie could possibly have me feeling this engaged. 

There were some technical effects that left me feeling either puzzled or surprised. They really pushed the power of cardboard cutouts to its maximum potential. Everything is just so cleverly done, resulting in an actually impressive final image. It’s brilliantly executed.

My only critique is that the music was too loud. I couldn’t hear any of the dialogues. This was so much of a problem to the point that I wasn’t even sure what was happening up until the scene where they finished building the rocket. Or was it more of a 9x19m caliber bullet?

But all jokes aside, this film is shockingly good.

Exceeds our time

I am at a loss for words. This film’s quality genuinely, truly transcends anything that I’ve ever seen. I don’t know how this can be. The atmosphere, the acting, the hard-to-stomach moral debates and, without a doubt, tremendous cinematography - all of these brilliantly executed elements make up the Masterpiece that is this movie. 

The cinematography is a key component of this film that enhances the viewing experience by miles. You are constantly on the edge of your seat, feeling uneasy, claustrophobic or downright petrified. During your viewing, you’ll witness complex camera angles which can’t be found in any modern cinema, along with artistic shots that you’ll find familiar, yet won’t expect to see in a 1930’s film. The camerawork elevates everything to a whole new level. All of it is beautifully accomplished. 

The questions posed in the film aren’t ones that can be easily answered. Even after finishing the movie, you still feel uncertain about what you’re feeling. The film’s topics aren’t simple and the movie doesn’t try to mask them as such. At the end of the day, the tragedy is left unsolved: «None of this will return our children!»

Only M is capable of leaving the viewer doubtful about their hate towards a literal child murderer. Despite my desire to torture this monster until he dies, I can’t help but question the righteousness of a reprisal. This uncertainty can only exist because of the unbelievably great acting of Peter Lorre. You hate this character. He’s evil, a devil. He’s lying about his insanity, and yet, you can’t be certain about that. You genuinely feel somewhat bad for the bastard. But can you not kill him? Why send him to a psyche ward? So that the lives of many more people will be taken or destroyed once more? So then you must kill him.
But who are we to decide to take another man’s life?
There is no one right answer. Me personally? Best I can offer is a life sentence. 

There are plenty of other things discussed and criticised in this movie: hypocrisy, egotism, conceit, selfishness - all of these traits can be found in the citizens looking for the killer. They try catching the killer only when they themselves can benefit from the duty, whether the benefit comes in the form of a reward or a reason to feel good about themselves.

Absolutely amazing piece of science fiction. I love how this movie isn’t afraid to bend the laws of reality by making the cops actually do their jobs. Like that could ever possibly happen in the real world. Cops and effort in the same sentence? Damn Germans, where do they get these wild fantasies from?!

One of the best horror movies in my opinion.
(Although I must it that it’s not well suited for a rewatch.)

Born a McLovin, forced to be a Seth.

Seafarers see farers on the sea fair.

It’s a 50’s documentary on a topic that is long irrelevant. There’s nothing special going on here. But that’s not to say that it is badly made.

I suppose that at times I found myself somewhat engaged with the things that the narrator was telling. All of the information was neatly presented. Even 70 years later after its release, I find myself a little bit intrigued by this out-of-date propaganda piece. So yeah, Kubrick’s a genius. Burning hot take.

The only thought that really, truly stuck with me was the sexism of this era. Multiple times throughout the documentary we see some calendars featuring bare-naked women. This made me think: how fucking weird would it be if there were a calendar that displayed a man with his dick out? Like, that would be super gross. No one in their right mind would buy that.

Anyways, I fell asleep 25 minutes in. Truly a shame, as I was so close to finishing this piece of kino. Oh well, guess I’ll put it on tonight if I happen to have any trouble falling asleep. Then I won’t have any trouble falling asleep!

So an ad.

“The cool kids’ club”

I don’t think I’ve ever seen a movie that’s this good at depicting the bad consequences of having a good childhood.

Although Stevie’s homelife is far from being perfect, it is full of love. Stevie’s mother cares for her child and does all that is in her power to make sure that the boy feels loved. This is not a privilege that is available to the cool kids of the 90’s. The teens of this era are brass, insolent and impudent. This type of behaviour is either born out of an overabundance of privilege, or a complete lack of it. As you can imagine, only one of these options is applicable in the ghetto.

Rebelliousness…
Power… 
Freedom…

These are qualities to which humans naturally sway. Most of us have no desire in following someone else’s orders. That is, of course, unless we are doing the bidding of somebody who is free in life. Who knows? Perhaps if we spend enough time with them, maybe we’ll be as great as them? This kind of mindset belongs to any child who wishes to be apart of a friend-group into which they don’t fit. Children might go down this path for various reasons. Some search for a place where they can feel at home, some want to experience a new way of living, and some simply belong in this certain type of environment.

For Stevie, the desire to a radical group of people is triggered by the aura of authority that emits from them (at the very least, that’s the impression under which a twelve year old might be). The boy is fascinated by his older brother and wants to be as tough as him, since Ian is something that Stevie is not - and humans have always been trying to reach for something that is not in their possession - that’s exactly what got humanity this far in the world, and, evidently, is also the problem that has been stumping our progress for the entire duration of our existence. It is both a gift and a curse. Mid90s shows the bad side of this human habit.

The feeling of reward that Stevie receives from this new way of living is rather disturbing. Everything is manipulative, toxic and disingenuous. But… it’s not too bad. The main characters actually care for each other. On numerous occasions we see them looking out for one another. This does bring some hope to their fate. But, at the end of the day, this movie is bittersweet at best. Yes, life finds a way to thrive no matter what. The comradery between the characters is strong, that’s for certain. But that doesn’t erase all of the pain and suffering caused by their style of living. The unfortunate thing is that the movie doesn’t provide its characters with any other possible opportunities in life (at least not all of them). This heartless depiction of the world is, very obviously, representative of what it was like growing up in the 90s. No options, no paths, no light at the end of the tunnel and nothing to strive for. Very few people strived to fulfill their dreams during this period of time. Hell, very few people actually had dreams of any kind. And that’s what being a kid in the mid 90s was like.

This movie is REALLY, REALLY good at relaying its messages. The writing, the set design, the outfits, the brilliant OST — everything in this film is tailored to construct the most incredible realisation of 90s aesthetics imaginable. Everything shown in this movie is as believable as it possibly can be. Amazing, amazing execution.

P.S

after reading other people’s reviews, I felt like some things had to be said:
yes, the relationships felt underdeveloped. 
yes, the rape scene was disgusting and horrifying. 
yes, the characters tend to be really fucking annoying.
That’s the point. That’s what it is like being a young kid in an older friend-group where you don’t fit. If you don’t understand this movie, that means you don’t relate to it. This film is really fucking accurate at executing all of the concepts it proposes. You don’t feel satisfied from this movie because you’re not supposed to feel satisfied. Butchering yourself for the sake of fitting in is never pleasant, and this movie is really good at showing that. 

Literally me.

Kubrick was able to call the Paul X Tyson fight, but couldn’t come up with show don’t tell
smh-ing my head rn right now fr fr

P.S
HOLY SHIT THEY’RE ACTUAL BOXERS? AND THAT WAS AN ACTUAL, REAL K.O?! 
Damn, WWE spoiled me.

Iconic.

Not much for me to say here. Great humour, great vfx, great special effects and overall wonderful execution of some wacky concepts. Plot’s fun, but it’s nothing too complicated. Can’t blame the movie for that though, since… this is a comedy, after all.

As much as I do think that the appropriate rating for this film would be 4 stars, I’m not really feeling it. I blame the morgue girl - that was a really hollow character.

Fun movie with some exceptional visual effects, especially for its time. If not for this movie, a bunch of modern alien tropes would simply not exist today.

“It’d be a better country if— We should have slaves!”

I am at a loss for words. This gross, disgusting, horrendously offensive piece of filth mocumentary is genuinely amazing at criticising the every day evil you’d come across in the US and A.

This movie’s humour is ridiculously moronic, yet so brilliant, yet so fucking moronic. I am slightly ashamed of the amount of laughs it got out of me.

Very nice!

Wiggle wiggle wiggle

Taking a break from movies because of this dumb shit.

The first hour of the movie has left me dry. I have never wept this much in my life. Genuinely, there have been very few times when I cried this bad.

This movie is amazing. But now I can’t appreciate it properly because of how terribly hollow I feel after that goddamn horrifying, beautiful opening scene.

I’m taking a break from movies. Frankly, I’d love to take a break from life for just a little bit. I just feel so empty now. Crying this much is not healthy. Don’t watch this movie.

∞/10

Don’t deal with the devil

So, my only criticism has to be that Jack’s wife is just… there. I mean, don’t get me wrong, it makes sense. Even after death, she still loves him and doesn’t wish to leave him. But, for the amount of times that we see her throughout the film, she does a surprising amount of nothing.

Her only role was to serve as a sacrifice for Jack’s “success”, but I don’t understand the purpose of emphasising her presence in the studio THIS many times. It’s not like she orchestrated any of the events that unfold. No, everything was planned out by Mr Wriggles. Meanwhile Madeleine is just present.

I suppose that they forced her appearances this much in order to highlight her. To remind the viewers that she’s important. Specifically, important enough to serve as a sacrifice for Jack’s success.

Anyways, whatever. I find Mr Wriggles’ wish granting methods funny. Dude just straight up commited homicide just for the show’s ratings to go up. Nothin fancy, nothing complicated. Just poof, “Here’s something exciting for the audience to watch.” Man doesn’t even try bothering with subtleness of any kind.

Film’s spooky. Acting’s good. Really made me nervous about the characters a couple of times. Although I must say that there was SO MUCH MORE opportunity for sick ass dream sequences at the end when Jack is losing his mind. I think that they could have added some really mind bending stuff there. But oh well.

This movie is so fucking stupid

Pinnacle of Кино

That was nothing short of one of the most beautiful experiences I’ve had while watching a movie.

(Although I did remove half a star because I think that making the antagonists completely unsympathetic defeats the entire purpose of making the protagonist a witch. Oh well, we’ll just have to wait for the sequel to see.)

Why did Macrinus charge into the opposing army? Is he stupid?

Movies from the Criterion Collection that I have watched (so far).

• Stalker
• M
• Barry Lyndon
• Guillermo del Toro's Pinocchio
• No Country for Old Men
• Solaris
• The Seventh Seal

Opening sequences that keep you on edge right off the bat, really hyping you up for the movie.

1. Saving Private Ryan

   I’ve never wept this much in my life. This opening scene (and the entire movie itself, too) really hit a string within me.

2. Mad Max: Fury Road

   Incredible

3. Smile 2

   Do I need to explain myself on this one?

4. 28 Weeks Later

   Damn.

5. Raiders of the Lost Ark
6. Akira

   Iconic

7. Gladiator
8. War for the Planet of the Apes
9. The Dark Knight
10. Inception

...plus 17 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.